The Demonblog Index

Retro Reviews

- Old games viewed through a modern lense




The pre-Demonblog era

- Amateur posts written amateurly

Wizard Cup Round 1 vs Richmond - [Untitled]

Wizard Cup Semi Final vs Geelong - And that's the end of that
Round 2 vs Richmond - Friday Night Farce
Round 7 vs West Coast - Eagles fans love Big Cox
Round 12 vs Collingwood - [Untitled]

- Proper posts written amateurly

Wizard Cup Round 1 vs Brisbane - Enter Spaanderman
Wizard Cup Quarter Final vs Carlton - Seasick, Yet Still Docked
Round 1 vs Essendon - Q: Are we not men? A: We are Demons!
Round 2 vs Footscray - Getting away with it
Round 3 vs Geelong - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
Round 4 vs St Kilda - I know it's over
Round 5 vs Sydney - Stranger in a strange land
Round 6 vs Fremantle - JUST GET OUT
Round 7 vs Adelaide - Friday Night's a Shite Night for Football
Round 9 vs Carlton - Knock it down
Round 10 vs Richmond - There's only one Nathan Brown (...)
Round 11 vs North Melbourne - Capital Punishment
Round 12 vs Collingwood - Take that to the bank
Round 13 vs West Coast - Cover my arse corner (by Peter M)
Round 14 vs Brisbane - Rubbish exported
Round 15 vs Port Adelaide - [Untitled] (by Kara)
Round 16 vs Sydney - I can't stand up for falling down
Round 17 vs Fremantle - You've got to laugh
Round 18 vs St Kilda - We keep our toaster in the bathtub
Round 19 vs Adelaide - Death by football
Round 20 vs Geelong - You're 1 point down, you come from a shit town
Round 21 vs Footscray - Son, I'm afraid we're going to have to put your puppy down (by Peter M)
Round 22 vs Essendon - Apply Some Pressure

NAB Cup Quarter Final vs Brisbane - For The Tip
Round 1 vs Carlton - No Future
Round 2 vs Footscray - Death Of A Salesman
Round 3 vs Adelaide - I Can Hear The Grass Grow
Round 4 vs Sydney - Everybody Is A Star
Round 5 vs North Melbourne - Take it to the limit
Round 6 vs Geelong - Don't turn around, Der Koroner's in town
Round 7 vs Fremantle - Never go on holidays (by Johnny Knoxville)
Round 8 vs Hawthorn - Brock and Roll
Round 9 vs West Coast - Demonblog's Super Sunday Slopfest Special
Round 10 vs St Kilda - Brock Show
Round 11 vs Collingwood - Birth of a Legend
Round 12 vs Essendon - FUCK OFF SHEEDS
Round 13/14 vs Port Adelaide/Brisbane - Congratulations, I have (re)arrived
Round 15 vs Richmond - Friday Night Slops
Round 16 vs Fremantle - Slop On Tap
Round 17 vs Footscray - Search and Destroy
Round 18 vs Carlton - What the fuck was that?
Round 19 vs Sydney - Born To Lose
Round 20 vs North Melbourne - Second Half Blitz (by Rowdy)
Round 21 vs Geelong - Love Thy Bogan (by Sideshow Bob)
Round 22 vs Adelaide - Suicide Saturday II
Elimination Final vs St Kilda - Finals (uh!) What are they good for?
Semi Final vs Fremantle - Weekdays and Bleakdays

NAB Cup Round 1 vs Hawthorn - Pre Season Panic (The Other PSP)
Practice Match vs Richmond - Let's move on shall we?
Round 1 vs St Kilda - Give me my Friday night back
Round 2 vs Hawthorn - Marjorie Wilson Appreciation Day
Round 3 vs Geelong - My Brain Hurts
Round 4 vs Fremantle - Dia De Los Muertos
Round 5 vs Sydney - Road Trip Rage (by Tom M)
Round 6 vs Port Adelaide - The Spanish Inquisition
Round 7 vs Footscray - Watching the Defectives
Round 8 vs West Coast - Rack up the lines, we're off to Subi (by Peter M)
Round 9 vs North Melbourne - Beat me, hurt me
Round 10 vs Adelaide - We Fought The War, And We Won (a game..)
Round 11 vs Collingwood - From the Rubble to the Ritz
Round 12 vs Richmond - Why bother?
Round 13 vs Essendon - The hits just keep on coming
Round 16 vs North Melbourne - Notes From A Scandal
Round 17 vs Port Adelaide - Character Assassination
Round 18 vs Sydney - Roadtrip Fever
Round 19 vs Footscray - Saturday Night Fever
Round 20 vs Collingwood - We could have been a contender
Round 21 vs Fremantle - Super Saturday Slops
Round 22 vs Carlton - Thank god that's over. When does next year start?

NAB Cup Round 1 vs Geelong - (Geelong) Road To Nowhere
Practice Match vs Footscray - The night the lights went out in Bendigo
Practice Match vs North Melbourne - Southern Suburbs Suicide Saturday Special
Round 1 vs Hawthorn - The Winter Of Our Discontent
Round 2 vs Footscray - I Hate You So Much Right Now
Round 3 vs Geelong - Highway to Hell
Round 4 vs Carlton - Crazy For Feeling So Blue
Round 5 vs North Melbourne - Saturday Depression Session
Round 6 vs Brisbane - It's Grim Up North
Round 7 vs Fremantle - I Feel Love
Round 8 vs Adelaide - Normal Service Has Been Resumed: Melbourne Football Club Apologies For Any Inconvenience
Round 9 vs Hawthorn - Someday This War's Gonna End
Round 10 vs St Kilda - The Stephen Powell Memorial Shield (by Captain Davey)
Round 11 vs Collingwood - Super Happy Fun Asia Report...
Round 12 vs St Kilda - Despair In The Dome (by Davey Magik)
Round 13 vs Sydney - I see Red...... Hair (by McLean_4_Captain)
Round 14 vs Brisbane - It's Miller Time
Round 15 vs Footscray - Stormy Weather
Round 16 vs Fremantle - Deathbed Football
Round 17 vs North Melbourne - Blue Sunday
Round 18 vs Essendon - And The Crowd Goes Absolutely Mild
Round 19 vs Geelong - Friday Night Follies
Round 20 vs West Coast - Welcome To The Blunderdome
Round 21 vs Port Adelaide - Another Victim Of South Australian Serial Killers
Round 22 vs Richmond - Three Retirements and a Funeral

NAB Cup Round 1 vs Hawthorn - New Year, Same Team
Practice Match vs Sydney - 50 Ways to Lose A Match
Practice Match vs Footscray - How 'bout That Drought? (by Jane, Andy and Gabrielle)
Round 1 vs North Melbourne - One Is The Loneliest Number
Round 2 vs Collingwood - In the event of a major disaster the season management plan will swing into immediate action
Round 3 vs Port Adelaide - Chasing AAMI
Round 4 vs Richmond -
Bring Your Quarter To The Slaughter
Round 5 vs Adelaide - The Truth Is Out There
Round 6 vs Geelong - The Foregone Conclusion Cup
Round 7 vs West Coast - Go West. Lose. Come Back. Lose Again
Round 8 vs Footscray - Dog Day Afternoon
Round 9 vs Hawthorn - Armpit vs Deodorant
Round 10 vs St Kilda - Golden Showers
Round 11 vs Collingwood - Crusty Demons of Shite
Round 12 vs Essendon - The Royal Shaft
Round 13 vs Brisbane - Northern Exposure (by George_From_The_Outer)
Round 14 vs West Coast - One for the Boss
Round 15 vs Port Adelaide - Here I Am! Rock You Like A Jurrahcane!
Round 16 vs Geelong - Back to life, Back to Reality
Round 17 vs Sydney - Capital Punishment II
Round 18 vs Richmond - 2009 Melbourne International Tank Festival
Round 19 vs North Melbourne - You Can't Stop The Horror
Round 20 vs Fremantle - Interstate visitors, Melbourne welcomes you
Round 21 vs Carlton - Monumental Moments in History
Round 22 vs St Kilda - It was all a dream

Intra-club game - Intra-Clubbed To Death
NAB Cup Round 1 vs Fremantle - Go West, we are putrid there
Practice Match vs Essendon - It could be worse..
Round 1 vs Hawthorn - No Mas, No Mas
Round 2 vs Collingwood - Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Round 3 vs Adelaide - The Impossible Dream
Round 4 vs Richmond - Direct from hell
Round 5 vs Brisbane - Tear the roof off the sucker
Round 6 vs North Melbourne - Riding high in April, shot down in May
Round 7 vs Footscray - Not a dry seat in the house
Round 8 vs West Coast - Footy gets plums
Round 9 vs Port Adelaide - Seconds from Disaster
Round 10 vs Geelong - Wasted weekends
Round 11 vs Carlton - Hurricane Shithouse
Round 12 vs Collingwood - The writers of Demonblog humbly apologise to Mark Jamar for every single post written pre-2008. We now recognise that he is the greatest human alive
Round 13 vs Adelaide - Touch it you rubbish
Round 14 vs St Kilda - Welcome to the Leisuredome
Round 15 vs Essendon - The Great Shark Hunt
Round 16 vs Fremantle - Crunty and Western
Round 17 vs Sydney - One for the true believers
Round 18 vs Brisbane - The night the coach nearly went off the balcony
Round 19 vs Richmond - The road to hell is paved with good intentions
Round 20 vs Hawthorn - RT: @deanbailey Footy is Shit
Round 21 vs Port Adelaide - Ding dong the witch is.. alive and kicking
Round 22 vs North Melbourne - Here endeth the sizzle

Intra-club match - A day at the footy... kinda (by Eskimo)
NAB Cup Round 1 vs Adelaide/Port Adelaide - THE STREAK
NAB Cup Quarter Final vs Essendon - Keep Feeling (Agitation)
Practice Match vs Brisbane - Let the good times roll
Round 1 vs Sydney - It's a weird and wonderful world
Round 2 vs Hawthorn - National Shite Day
Round 3 vs Brisbane - Cute, fluffy and not even slightly ruthless
Round 4 vs Gold Coast - Advanced, Forthright, Insignificant
Round 6 vs West Coast - Spaghetti Western
Round 7 vs Adelaide - Crisis Management 101
Round 8 vs North Melbourne - Shit Sandwich
Round 9 vs St Kilda - If you tolerate this your children will be next..
Round 10 vs Carlton - Zombie Nation
Round 11 vs Essendon - Violent Mood Swings
Round 12 vs Collingwood - One hit wonders
Round 13 vs Fremantle - Rollercoaster of Love
Round 14 vs Richmond - Let them burn and we shall all clap our hands
Round 15 vs Footscray - Dog Day Aftermath
Round 17 vs Port Adelaide - The Thriller in (conditions resembling) Manilla
Round 18 vs Hawthorn - The light at the end of the tunnel (is the light of an oncoming train)
Round 19 vs Geelong - 'In the dark times, will there also be singing? Yes, there will also be singing. About the dark times.'
Round 20 vs Carlton - Bloodsport for all
Round 21 vs West Coast - Shaky Minus Ladder
Round 22 vs Richmond - Be strong, it's almost over
Round 23 vs Gold Coast - It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again
Round 24 vs Port Adelaide - Viney's Final Siren

NAB Cup match one vs Brisbane/Gold Coast - Lukewarm three-way action
NAB Cup match two vs Collingwood - Let's go fundamental
NAB Cup match three vs Hawthorn - THUD
Practice Match vs Port Adelaide - Nervous sweating and adjustment of the upper collar
Round 1 vs Brisbane - You've got to laugh (again)
Round 2 vs West Coast - Weird and Twisted Nights
Round 3 vs Richmond - A clear choice between vulgarity and obscenity
Round 4 vs Footscray - Rock Bottom Redux
Round 5 vs St Kilda - The tide hastens for no man
Round 6 vs Geelong - I'm a country member
Round 7 vs Hawthorn - Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue
Round 8 vs Sydney - Death by a thousand cuts
Round 9 vs Carlton - Hashtag Surrender
Round 10 vs Essendon - Reunited (and it feels so good)
Round 11 vs Collingwood - Squashed by the Reality Bus
Round 13 vs Greater Western Sydney - Fear and Loathing in the Olympic Stand
Round 14 vs Brisbane - Taking The Clunge
Round 15 vs Richmond - Trading while insolvent
Round 16 vs Fremantle - 50 Shades of Brown
Round 17 vs Port Adelaide - Begone vile creatures
Round 18 vs North Melbourne - NO CARRIER
Round 19 vs Gold Coast - You take it where you can get it
Round 20 vs St Kilda - Landfill football
Round 21 vs Greater Western Sydney - Everything looks better in slow motion
Round 22 vs Adelaide - I've grown accustomed to your farce
Round 23 vs Fremantle - One Day in September

NAB Cup match one vs North Melbourne/Richmond - Casual Friday
Practice Match vs St Kilda - Hotter Than Hell II: Endless Summer
Round 1 vs Port Adelaide - Cleanup in Aisle 666
Round 2 vs Essendon - Minus five stars
Round 3 vs West Coast - #fistedforever
Round 4 vs Greater Western Sydney - S&MFC
Round 5 vs Brisbane - Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?
Round 6 vs Carlton - Last Exit To Brunton Avenue
Round 7 vs Gold Coast - Black Sunday
Round 8 vs Richmond - An orderly retreat
Round 9 vs Fremantle - Air Farce One
Round 10 vs Hawthorn - The long dark tea-time of the soul (by @R3mm3t)
Round 11 vs Collingwood - Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown (by @maesy5)
Round 13 vs St Kilda - Return of the Human Centipede
Round 14 vs Footscray - Neil Craig: Our Mastermind
Round 15 vs Sydney - Signs of life
Round 16 vs Geelong - Theme From Cannibal Holocaust
Round 17 vs Brisbane - More from the Pointless Manifesto Department
Round 18 vs North Melbourne - Mince
Round 19 vs Greater Western Sydney - Abandon ship
Round 20 vs Gold Coast - National Lampoons Queensland Vacation
Round 21 vs Fremantle - No one is innocent
Round 22 vs Adelaide - Lifestyles Of The Broke and Irrelevant
Round 23 vs Footscray - The call of the void

NAB Challenge match one vs Richmond - Good clean fun
NAB Challenge match two vs Geelong - Live from the slag heap
Practice match vs Hawthorn - So. Your car is kaput, and your girlfriend is gone. And thine house they have sold.
Round 1 vs St Kilda - Postcards From Three Mile Island
Round 2 vs West Coast - Mo Slurry, Mo Problems
Round 3 vs Greater Western Sydney - Don't cry for me, I'm already dead
Round 4 vs Carlton - The Yes Movement (Formerly "Pain, Blues and agony")
Round 5 vs Gold Coast - Love in the Time of Ineptitude
Round 6 vs Sydney - Huddled masses yearning to breathe free
Round 7 vs Adelaide - Demonblog's 500th post spectacular
Round 8 vs Footscray - Temporary respectability adjustment
Round 9 vs Richmond - The sweet sound of mid-table mediocrity
Round 11 vs Port Adelaide - A Town Called Malice
Round 12 vs Collingwood - Damn Yankees
Round 13 vs Essendon - Rope-a-dope fiend
Round 14 vs North Melbourne - Flattened like a tack
Round 15 vs Footscray - Life education
Round 16 vs Fremantle - A return to traditional values
Round 17 vs Geelong - 5.6.36 - The number of the beast
Round 18 vs Port Adelaide - Quicksand incorporated
Round 19 vs Brisbane - Eat, Sleep, Prolong the Streak
Round 20 vs Hawthorn - Long walk meets short pier
Round 21 vs Greater Western Sydney - Home is where the hate is
Round 22 vs West Coast - Young, dumb and full of glum
Round 23 vs North Melbourne - The last act of defiance

NAB Challenge match one vs Fremantle - 2 teams, 0 cups
NAB Challenge match two vs Footscray - A succulent Chinese meal
NAB Challenge match three vs Essendon - The big top is back in town
Round 1 vs Gold Coast - Reclaim Round 1
Round 2 vs Greater Western Sydney - Division required
Round 3 vs Adelaide - Malaise forever
Round 4 vs Richmond - Strange Rumblings on Brunton Avenue
Round 5 vs Fremantle - You can't play Richmond every week
Round 6 vs Sydney - Bloods d. Crips
Round 7 vs Hawthorn - Absentee vote
Round 8 vs Footscray - Love Theme from Melbourne Football Club
Round 9 vs Port Adelaide - Strange medicine in the desert
Round 10 vs Collingwood - Fear of a Black and White Planet
Round 11 vs St Kilda - Defensive indifference
Round 12 vs Geelong - Road Warriors
Round 14 vs West Coast - Unity and Struggle
Round 15 vs Essendon - Down with this sort of thing
Round 16 vs Brisbane - It's lonely at the top (of the bottom four)
Round 17 vs St Kilda - Throwing deckchairs off the Titanic
Round 18 vs Collingwood - Take off your pants and jacket
Round 19 vs North Melbourne - Tales from the script
Round 20 vs Footscray - Complaining To A Tree
Round 21 vs Carlton - Instant asset write-offs
Round 22 vs Fremantle - The Rainbow Connection meets the Reality Bus uptown
Round 23 vs Greater Western Sydney - Lifting the veil

NAB Challenge match one vs Port Adelaide - Building dreams from the ground up
NAB Challenge match two vs Footscray - This is living
NAB Challenge match three vs St Kilda - Beware the tides of March
Round 1 vs Greater Western Sydney - The life erotic
Round 2 vs Essendon - The Mouse That Bored
Round 3 vs North Melbourne - Divine wind
Round 4 vs Collingwood - Floating to the surface
Round 5 vs Richmond - Gawn Service
Round 6 vs St Kilda - Don't believe the hype
Round 7 vs Gold Coast - How I learned to stop worrying and love the long bomb
Round 8 vs Footscray - Throw your hate in the ring
Round 9 vs Brisbane - I knew the bride when she used to be a moll
Round 10 vs Port Adelaide - Assisted Football Living
Round 11 vs Hawthorn - Water, water everywhere so let's all have a drink
Round 12 vs Collingwood - Maximum Force
Round 13 vs Sydney - All at sea
Round 15 vs Adelaide - The malady lingers
Round 16 vs Fremantle - Steamy wonder
Round 17 vs St Kilda - The sadness will last forever
Round 18 vs West Coast - How the West was wasted
Round 19 v Gold Coast - Trial by ordeal
Round 20 vs Hawthorn - Brawl State vs Natural High
Round 21 vs Port Adelaide - Talent plus attitude equals dollars
Round 22 vs Carlton - Blue Murder
Round 23 vs Geelong - Decade ends, era endures

AFLW Round 1 vs Brisbane - A tradition begins
AFLW Round 2 vs Collingwood - It begins
JLT Community Series Game 1 vs Footscray - The kings of summer are back
AFLW Round 3 vs Western Bulldogs - NB: A team called Melbourne is in the top four
AFLW Round 4 vs Carlton - Fields Of Dream (by @daniel5faulkner)
JLT Community Series Game 2 vs Carlton - Chipping away at the glass ceiling
AFLW Round 5 vs GWS - Miss Shop
JLT Community Series Game 3 vs West Coast - A gentle reminder
AFLW Round 6 vs Adelaide - Peekaboo I.C.U
AFLW Round 7 vs Fremantle - Carnage in Cranbourne
Round 1 vs St Kilda - Awakenings
Round 2 vs Carlton - The Mediocre Escape
Round 3 vs Geelong - Kicking into danger
Round 4 vs Fremantle - Touching cloth
Round 5 vs Richmond - Reinventing hell
Round 6 vs Essendon - Fortress Shithole
Round 7 vs Hawthorn - But then the demon, much too soon, returned one Sunday afternoon
Round 8 vs Adelaide - Whale Oil Beef Hooked
Round 9 vs North Melbourne - Stranglewank Sunday
Round 10 vs Gold Coast - Nobody does it better
Round 12 vs Collingwood - The slaves will grow wings and overthrow their masters
Round 13 vs Footscray - This machine kills finalists
Round 14 vs West Coast - Start the bulldozers, the job is done
Round 15 vs Sydney - The big fizz
Round 16 vs Carlton - The Big Steal
Round 17 vs Adelaide - Malfunction at the junction
Round 18 vs Port Adelaide - The plot thickens
Round 19 vs North Melbourne - Fear of Flying
Round 20 vs Greater Western Sydney - Australian Capsizing Team
Round 21 vs St Kilda - The dream shall never die (but I might)
Round 22 vs Brisbane - Breathing into a paper bag
Round 23 vs Collingwood - Home and broken hearted

AFLW Round 1 vs Greater Western Sydney - Trial by video
AFLW Round 2 vs Adelaide - The quest for fun
AFLW Round 3 vs Fremantle - The number you have dialled is not connected
AFLX - Same old piss in a new bottle
JLT Community Series Game 1 vs North Melbourne - More of the good stuff, less of the bad stuff
AFLW Round 4 vs Collingwood - The sound of a rapidly deflating balloon
AFLW Round 5 vs Brisbane - Uphill skiing
JLT Community Series Game 2 vs St Kilda - The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
AFLW Round 6 vs Carlton - Here comes success (or a fiasco)
AFLW Round 7 vs Footscray - Don't fear the reaper
Round 1 vs Geelong - Gloom, despair and agony
Round 2 vs Brisbane - He pulled out just enough to win
Round 3 vs North Melbourne - Our long national nightmare is over
Round 4 vs Hawthorn - Things can only get bitter
Round 5 vs Richmond - Don't forget you're here forever
Round 6 vs Essendon - Randy Salvage
Round 7 vs St Kilda - Keep a lid on things
Round 8 vs Gold Coast - Slip, slap, slop
Round 9 vs Carlton - How to make friends and eviscerate people
Round 10 vs Adelaide - Alice Wonderland
Round 11 vs Footscray - Six won and tons for fun
Round 12 vs Collingwood - On the slide
Round 14 vs Port Adelaide - Friday night and I just love complaining
Round 15 vs St Kilda - The Welcome To My Nightmare Game
Round 16 vs Fremantle - Home sweat home
Round 17 vs Footscray - Climb the ladder, make yourself famous
Round 18 vs Geelong - Respect the clock and tame the punt
Round 19 vs Adelaide - Attempting reentry
Round 20 vs Gold Coast - The maim event
Round 21 vs Sydney - Unsafe at any speed
Round 22 vs West Coast - You're going home in a cosmic ambience
Round 23 vs Greater Western Sydney - The Great Australian Free Hit
Elimination Final vs Geelong - Weid The People
Semi Final vs Hawthorn - So this is what it feels like when doves cry
Preliminary Final vs West Coast - Fly In, Fall Over

AFLW Round 1 vs Fremantle - What to expect when you're expecting
AFLW Round 2 vs Collingwood - Unsack everyone
AFLW Round 3 vs Brisbane - Venue: Hickey, Opposition: Sucked
Practice Match vs Collingwood - One win down, 27 to go
AFLW Round 4 vs North Melbourne - The Cardiac Club
JLT Community Series Game 1 vs Richmond - Sheppatitis
AFLW Round 5 vs Greater Western Sydney - Protect and Survive
JLT Community Series Game 2 vs Brisbane - Panic on the streets of Cranbourne
AFLW Round 6 vs Footscray - The show goes on
AFLW Round 7 vs Adelaide - I did but see her premiership window pass by
Round 1 vs Port Adelaide - Extraordinary people doing bloody ordinary things
Round 2 vs Geelong - Let thine eyes with horror stare into that vast perpetual torture house
Round 3 vs Essendon - Four Quarters and a Funeral
Round 4 vs Sydney - The comeback is on
Round 5 vs St Kilda - The comeback is off
Round 6 vs Richmond - Best we forget
Round 7 vs Hawthorn - Not drowning, waving
Round 8 vs Gold Coast - We got the goldmine, they got the shaft
Round 9 vs West Coast - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** ***k
Round 10 vs GWS - Can't get there from here
Round 11 vs Adelaide - (I Just) Died In The Arse Tonight
Round 12 vs Collingwood - Declaration of bore
Round 14 vs Fremantle - Shelter from the Storm
Round 15 vs Brisbane - What a terrible mess I've made of my life
Round 16 vs Carlton - Survivor Series
Round 17 vs Western Bulldogs - Same Old Story
Round 18 vs West Coast - 17 and counting
Round 19 vs St Kilda - You'll Never Walk Again
Round 20 vs Richmond - Everybody Hurts
Round 21 vs Collingwood - Longshot kicks bucket
Round 22 vs Sydney - Friday night and the gates are low
Round 23 vs North Melbourne - The battle of who could care less

AFLW Round 1 vs North Melbourne - Back from the dread
AFLW Round 2 vs Footscray - The rain it raineth every day
AFLW Round 3 vs St Kilda - Friday night filth
Marsh Community Series Game 1 vs Adelaide - What could possibly go wrong from here?
Practice match vs North Melbourne - All that and not much more
AFLW Round 4 vs Collingwood - Close the Roof
Marsh Community Series Game 2 vs Hawthorn - A night on the isles
AFLW Round 5 vs Fremantle - International Day of Record Wins
AFLW Round 6 vs Carlton - The Sound of Silence
AFLW Semi Final vs Greater Western Sydney - Miracles in an emergency
Round 1 vs West Coast - Behind Closed Doors
Round 4 vs Geelong - No repayment, no interest
Round 5 vs Richmond - Tora Tora Toilet
Round 6 vs Gold Coast - The Ecstasy of Gold Coast
Round 7 vs Hawthorn - Mask on, lid bubbling
Round 8 vs Brisbane - A trip down misery lane
Round 9 vs Port Adelaide - Festival of Fist
Round 10 vs Adelaide - Heat melts cube
Round 11 vs North Melbourne - Sequel just as good as the original
Round 12 vs Collingwood - Million Dollar Fisting
Round 13 vs Footscray - Putting the cart before the horse
Round 14 vs St Kilda - Heist society
Round 15 vs Sydney - Bathwater overdose
Round 16 vs Fremantle - Shower of Shit
Round 17 vs Greater Western Sydney - Boy meets hurl

AFLW Round 1 vs Gold Coast - The Many Moods of Melbourne
AFLW Round 2 vs Richmond - I've got a Tiger by the tail
AFLW Round 3 vs North Melbourne - Home Alone
AFLW Round 4 vs Footscray - Can't buy a thrill
Practice match vs Richmond - The carnival is back in town
AFLW Round 5 vs Collingwood - Dead end street
AFLW Round 6 vs St Kilda - Pearce them off
AAMI Community Series vs Footscray - FFC vs FFS
AFLW Round 7 vs Adelaide - From woe to go
Round 2 vs St Kilda - A cat couldn't scratch it
AFLW Qualifying Final vs Fremantle - When you're hot you're hot
AFLW Preliminary Final vs Adelaide - Interstate of Disaster
Round 4 vs Geelong - Be still cat
Round 5 vs Hawthorn - High five
Round 6 vs Richmond - The Nathan Jonestown Massacre
Round 7 vs North Melbourne - The last shall be first
Round 8 vs Sydney - Eight the hard way
Round 9 vs Carlton - Channel 9-0
Round 10 vs Adelaide - The recession we had to have
Round 11 vs Footscray - Bouncing back
Round 12 vs Brisbane - Dees go to 11
Round 13 vs Collingwood - A farce to be reckoned with
Round 15 vs Essendon - Saturday Night Lever
Round 16 vs Greater Western Sydney - Misery is the best policy
Round 17 vs Port Adelaide - Uphill skiing d. Downhill skiing
Round 18 vs Hawthorn - White light, dead heat
Round 19 vs Footscray - The plot sickens
Round 20 vs Gold Coast - Stuff the silver, we came here for the Gold Coast
Round 21 vs West Coast - Living on the end of a lightning bolt
Round 22 vs Adelaide - Going through the emotions
Round 23 vs Geelong - Delta Force
Qualifying Final vs Brisbane - First we take Adelaide...
Preliminary Final vs Geelong - Just win baby
Grand Final vs Footscray - Everybody loves a happy ending

AFLW summer season Round 1 vs Footscray - You can win 'em all
AFLW summer season Round 2 vs Richmond - Who's next?
AFLW summer season Round 3 vs St Kilda - Wobbling towards glory
AFLW summer season Round 4 vs Adelaide - End of an Era
AFLW summer season Round 5 vs Gold Coast - Bridge Over The River Quiet
AFLW summer season Round 6 vs Greater Western Sydney - That will do
AFLW summer season Round 7 vs Brisbane - Faking your own death
Practice match vs North Melbourne - A long haul into the unknown
AFLW summer season Round 8 vs North Melbourne - Animosity International
AAMI Community Series vs Carlton - Blue ROFL
AFLW summer season Round 9 - Purple people eaters
AFLW summer season Round 10 - Banana skin avoidance week
Round 1 vs Footscray - Desire: Unfreed
Round 2 vs Gold Coast - Love Over Gold
Round 3 vs Essendon - Last man standing
AFLW summer season Preliminary Final vs Brisbane - One Step Beyond
Round 4 vs Port Adelaide - The Aristocrats
AFLW summer season Grand Final vs Adelaide - Operation successful. Patient dead.
Round 5 vs Greater Western Sydney - MCG Hammer
Round 6 vs Richmond - Every Which Way But Lose
Round 7 vs Hawthorn - Adem Yze's Red and Blue Army
Round 8 vs St Kilda - 15 love
Round 9 vs West Coast - Discreet sixteen
Round 10 vs North Melbourne - Calm your Narrm
Round 11 vs Fremantle - Narrm flashbacks
Round 12 vs Sydney - The Brown note
Round 13 vs Collingwood - First Club > Fight Club > Farce Club
Round 15 vs Brisbane - Faithless man believes
Round 16 vs Adelaide - Zero rucks given
Round 17 vs Geelong - The Spoiler
Round 18 vs Port Adelaide - Pickett up the pieces
Round 19 vs Footscray - A series of unfortunate events
Round 20 vs Fremantle - Funny/Piss Funny
Round 21 vs Collingwood - Ducks and flakes
Round 22 vs Carlton - Pickett Pocket
Round 23 vs Brisbane - Thrash 'n Treasure
AFLW spring season Round 1 vs Adelaide - We shall overcome
AFLW spring season Round 2 vs North Melbourne - Growing pains
Qualifying Final vs Sydney - Going the long way
Semi Final vs Brisbane - How to disappear completely
AFLW spring season Round 3 vs St Kilda - Kicking like the wind (by Olivia)
AFLW spring season Round 4 vs Brisbane - One on the Clapometer 
AFLW spring season Round 5 vs Carlton - Princes pork
AFLW spring season Round 6 vs Fremantle - Stop the boats
AFLW spring season Round 7 vs Footscray - Cruelty to animals
AFLW spring season Round 8 vs Gold Coast - Golden casket
AFLW spring season Round 9 vs Essendon - Business as usual
AFLW spring season Round 10 vs West Coast - Taking advantage of the less fortunate
AFLW spring season Qualifying Final vs Adelaide - For a feud dollars more
AFLW spring season Preliminary Final vs North Melbourne - Once more with feeling
AFLW spring season Grand Final vs Brisbane - The funnest day in the history of Springfield

Practice match vs St Kilda - Seven inning stretch
Practice match vs Richmond - Good enough for government work
Round 1 vs Footscray - Are you not entertained?
Round 2 vs Brisbane - Hello darkness
Round 3 vs Sydney - Vigorous Roo-ting
Round 4 vs West Coast - Intercontinental box ticking exercise
Round 5 vs Essendon - Ruck and maul
Round 6 vs Richmond - Not so good, then much better
Round 7 vs North Melbourne - Penthouse d. Outhouse
Round 8 vs Gold Coast - Talent borrows, genius steals
Round 9 vs Hawthorn - Twilight Zone
Round 10 vs Port Adelaide - YAR d. NAR
Round 11 vs Fremantle - All things must pass
Round 12 vs Carlton - Gently kicking a dead horse
Round 13 vs Collingwood - Kicking against the pricks
Round 15 vs Geelong - Down highway, down toilet
Round 16 vs Greater Western Sydney - House of Orange topples House of Cards
Round 17 vs St Kilda - Under roof, under rug
Round 18 vs Brisbane - The Great Milk Robbery
Round 19 vs Adelaide - Snack on danger, dine on death
Round 20 vs Richmond - Countdown to ecstasy
Round 21 vs North Melbourne - Could've been worse
Round 22 vs Carlton - Losing on the lottery
Round 23 vs Hawthorn - Spontaneous frustration
Round 24 vs Sydney - Return of the Great Australian Free Hit
AFLW Round 1 vs Collingwood - The best premiership defence is a good offence
Qualifying Final vs Collingwood - Did Not Qualify
AFLW Round 2 vs Greater Western Sydney - It's five o'clock somewhere
Semi Final vs Carlton - Down two then left
AFLW Round 3 vs Footscray - Emergency broadcast system (by Craig)
AFLW Round 4 vs Hawthorn - Solar eclipse
AFLW Round 6 vs Adelaide - Clock stops at 14
AFLW Round 7 vs West Coast - Banno goes boonta in B-team beatdown
AFLW Round 8 vs North Melbourne - Keeping standards up
AFLW Round 9 vs Fremantle - Answer blows in wind (by Craig)
AFLW Round 10 vs Brisbane - Red and blue alert
AFLW Qualifying Final vs North Melbourne - What a time to stop being alive
AFLW Semi Final vs Geelong - Going down in flames