Sunday, 18 July 2010

Cruntry and Western

(Check back tomorrow, I might add something to this when I'm not suffering from such a terminal lack of interest)

(Nope, doesn't look like it. Missing the first quarter in traffic totally ruined my flow and the rest of the game passed in some sort of bizarre blur. The only positive to come out of the whole shambles is that Watts isn't copping the universal - underserved may I add - shoeing I thought he'd get for missing that goal at the end. Remind me not to send this out as the review chapter for the book...)

Before the game today I jokingly said "Bet you any money we're six goals down at quarter time". Oh the hilarity, oh the shambles that followed. The upside to the whole grim setup was that I was trying to drive from Richmond to St Kilda Road to watch the game. Had I left before the Richmond/North game finished it would have taken me ten minutes and I'd have been forced to watch the whole thing. As it was the next thirty minutes was spent getting slaughtered in traffic listening to it unfold on SEN. By the time I walked in a few minutes into the second quarter it seemed like it would have been a better idea to find something else to do with a Sunday afternoon and not to waste my time on another pissweak first half effort.

But anybody who has watched us for the last couple of years should know that this is exactly the time you should start watching us, because that's when we kick goals, take risks and play bloody good football. I had other things on my mind today, couldn't take the game seriously - maybe I've hit the wall with season 2010 and it's going to be an even bigger slopfest on here than it is on the field from now on? Either way I have to admit sparking up in the third quarter when we got that run on. How good was Frawley's run out of defensive 50? How equally beautiful was the Jamar handball to Davey at the very last minute before he got wrapped up, and the dancing sidestep Flash took before he snapped the goal. We charged back into it at a million miles an hour, and the same players who looked like shite in the second quarter (and presumably the first) looked like world beaters.

Why does this always happen to us? What causes us to put together so many one goal first quarters? There's only so far you can hide behind being a 'young team' before somebody has to take the blame. Get some sports psychologist idiot in there if you have to, do a bit of watch swinging hypnotism if required. Tell them that they're in the 50's and that Bailey is Norm freaking Smith for all I care, just do something.

By three-quarter time we were back in it, but all the momentum had come and gone by the end of the term. We'd done enough to get into a position to possibly nick it, but it would have been daylight robbery

2010 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - James Frawley
4 - Colin Sylvia
3 - Joel Macdonald
2 - Colin Garland
1 - Tom Scully

Apologies to Davey, Bail, Morton, Rivers, Green, Jones, McKenzie, Bennell, Johnson (surprisingly good..) and Jurrah

Leaderboard
33 - Brad Green
24 - James Frawley (WINNER: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
23 - James McDonald, Mark Jamar (WINNER: Strawbs O'Dwyer Medal for Ruckman of the Year)
14 - Matthew Bate, Colin Sylvia
13 - Aaron Davey
12 - Jack Grimes
11 - Jack Trengove (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brent Moloney
8 - Jordan Gysberts
7 - Jordie McKenzie
6 - Tom Scully, Lynden Dunn
5 - Ricky Petterd, Jamie Bennell
4 - Joel Macdonald
3 - Matthew Warnock, Brad Miller, Colin Garland
2 - Cameron Bruce, Neville Jetta, Clint Bartram, Jack Watts
1 - Jared Rivers, Nathan Jones

Coaches Corner
Why does Mark Harvey look like a startled owl?


Commentators Corner
Thank god for no Dwayne Russell, and no having our comeback destroyed by him screaming catchphrases to stop you from turning over to The Simpsons. Also how much would you have given to swap Gerard Healy/Glen Jakovich for Greg/Allen?

Live from Casey Fields... it's Saturday afternoon
Made the horrible mistake of not only going to arctic Cranbourne criminally underdressed but also aiming to make the second half of the two's to watch Monster Max GAWN in action for the first time. God knows what I was thinking expecting a guy who hadn't played a game in 14 months, coming off a knee injury, to play a full game in the reserves on a surface that resembled a Civil War Battlefield.

So by the time the main event started I was cold and disillusioned. With a strong wind blowing diagonally across the ground any chance of a decent contest was ruined. Maric and McNamara looked good at either end, but by the time Port got a hold of the wind in the second quarter the ball didn't go inside the Scorpions 50 for about ten minutes. The NQR boundary rider on Casey Radio said without a trace of irony, as the players trudged off for half-time, "that's one of the best halves of football we've ever seen". That was enough for me, I left and went shopping at DFO Moorabbin Airport instead. Much warmer, and I listened to most of the 3rd quarter on the way there anyway. Not sure how Miller (in #81 if you don't mind) snuck into the best - much less second best - unless he had an unreal last quarter because he was good in the first half but nothing special, certainly not better than Maric up front or McNamara down back. Football's #1 emo surely has to get a run next week, don't ask me who he dislodges but he'll be on suicide watch if he doesn't get a game soon.

Numerology for Idiots
Is it too cynical to get a #40 on my jumper next year, or an accurate reflection of the love story that stopped a nation? More importantly is being designated my favourite player going to kill his career like it has to everybody else who has ever had the distinction? The SME jumper is practically useless now that his career his going the toilet, and as much as I love Green he's more of a ladies man. The Jurrahcane is out because he stopped having a novelty number, and apart from the Philth I've never been one to support midfielders so Moloney is out. Petterd is an option, but what about going early on GAWN? The only problem is that they'll probably tease us and then make him change his number to 11 when Paul Johnson gets the arse.

More importantly aren't I getting a bit old to be indulging in this childlike footy jumper ritual? My belief is that you can wear a footy jumper until you're bald, then if you're not on the field it just looks weird.

Your suggestions on potential numbers in the comments or via Twitter (forget Gillard and Abbott, follow @demonblog).

Next Week
Sydney at the MCG on Sunday. I expect that they'll touch us up but god forbid we get off to a decent start you never know. Anything that involves not having to catch up from six goals behind would be nice. After being beaten by not disgraced by Sandilands, Jamar vs Mumford could be a one-on-one clash for the second All-Australian ruck position. See you there, I might go a bit Medallion Club and start finding other ways to amuse myself halfway through the match.

2 comments:

  1. Agree wholeheartedly with the giving-a-fuck slump. Turning on “that” kind of footy for a quarter is like Rebecca Twigley slipping off a bra strap then leaving after you wasted two hours chatting – you end up wishing you missed the whole soul destroying experience in the first place. The Hun blamed Watts & Dunn (new cruntry and western act?) but how about everyone for the first half? Two set shots do not a win make. And making it all so much worse is that abominable white get-up with Batman smirking away as if he’s the bloody Norm Smith curse personified. Really, anyone got a problem with all red with a blue yoke? Hope the new logo isn’t just another big bag of balls from the Away Strip School of Art and Design.

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  2. Love your work and can't wait for the book (no need to change the title either i like it!) but i'm thinking we could probably leave this chapter out haha

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