It's Grim Up North

I honestly don't know what to say any more. Over the last two years I've written every single match report about a loss that there is to be had. Just copy and paste any of those reports for today. We fumbled, we bumbled, we looked worse than any team has since the glory days of Fremantle not winning a game until Round 18 under Damian Drum.

Of course TJ had to kick the first goal. Let the "oh we should have kept him!" bollocks begin. Didn't do too much else though. Having said that I'm still not convinced that Jack Grimes is a real person. For all we know he might be the 21st century equivalent of this guy.

You saw the rest on TV, you don't need me to give you any insights. We're awful. We're awfully awful. At one point Matthew Warnock was doing his best work ever in defence - how badly are we going when that's happening?

I was so depressed at watching it that I left and came home to listen on the radio instead. Did I really need to watch what was going to happen next? Even listening to KB and his "I'll tell you why I didn't stuff up the rules" propaganda call on SEN was a more attractive option that being in a pub full of spaz people watching even spazzer football.

Everyone wants to bag Robertson for not being as good as he was, but who's kicking it to him? You can have a forward line consisting of Dunstall, Ablett and Jesus if you want but if you spend two hours trying to get out of your defensive 50 and then give it away the moment it gets to the midfield. God forbid we have any kicks inside 50 they're usually bombed in on his head.

Crowd Watch
I was fairly depressed in my living room.

Stat Watch
Are we on track to break the all-time clanger record?

Coach Watch
Most of the time it looked as if Bailey was on his own in the coaches box. I'm surprised he didn't just walk out himself.

2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes

5 - Bruce
4 - Jones
3 - Wonaeamirri
2 - White
1 - Green

Apologies to Moloney (plenty of touches. Did fuck all with most them), Wheatley (keeps getting it), McDonald, Robertson (at least he runs around a bit) and... now I'm struggling... Jamar, Carroll, Warnock, Dunn, Frawley? Whoever.

Leaderboard
14 - Nathan Jones
13 - Cameron Bruce
12 - Brad Green
9 - Brock McLean
8 - James McDonald
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Cale Morton (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
4 - Brent Moloney
4 - Aaron Davey
3 - Nathan Carroll (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
3 - Austin Wonaeamirri
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Jeff White
2 - Jared Rivers

Next Week
Freo at the MCG. Have you noticed we're the only team that they can consistently beat in Melbourne? Doesn't that fill you with confidence? They're rubbish this year, but like us they put in a good performance against Geelong. Unlike us they almost won. If we get turned over next week I will start to suspect that we won't win a game this year - and the prospect of that makes me want to cry. Is there any danger the crowd will be over 15,000?

Let's hope we don't get stitched up in a thriller. I'm starting to feel like I was in that fortnight of horror last year when Port and North both beat us in close ones and I almost had two nervous breakdowns in the Ponsford Stand.