Close the Roof

The results are in and the science has been proven, our women's team should be removed from the elements and permanently played under a roof. Sure, the first of our two wins at Docklands came via a last minute goal, but I'm willing to ride the streak as far as it will go. Improving Casey is throwing good money after bad, but I'd get into it if they build even the most rudimentary tin shed around it.

Because I was having all sorts of problems watching through my mobile, with a Kayo app that crashed every five minutes, it's a good thing that I've got this guest report from Ally - who was there live.

After last week’s shocker against the Saints, I was desperately hoping to see my beloved Dees bounce back this week against the Pies and get the season back on track.

The first quarter started off with some poor kicking from the Dees, with a haunting resemblance to last week’s poor kicking against St Kilda. After that, things started to improve. The Dees' kicking accuracy improved, and they managed to put two goals on the board. Kate Hore’s goal over the shoulder was brilliant and congrats to Jackie Parry on joining the elusive ‘first kick first goal’ club. 

Collingwood managed to get the first goal of the second term in what some in the Dees’ cheer squad would say was controversial circumstances. They got another minutes later to level the scores, but luckily the Dees got one back to take back the lead. Tegan Cunningham got Melbourne’s second of the term after great work and positioning all the way down the ground from the Dees. Overall the Dees were the more dominant side in the quarter, but the umpiring continued to be questionable and not in our favour.

It was a frustrating but even first ten minutes of the third term. It took until 11 minutes in before Casey Sherriff finally got a goal on the board for the Dees. After a lovely passage of play Shelley Scott got Melbourne’s second goal for the term and things were looking good for the Dees. Although Collingwood had plenty of chances to score, the Dees were able to repel them most of the time. The only goal Collingwood did score for the quarter was from a very soft free kick. 

The 4th quarter started much like the 3rd. Most of the play was between the 50s, with very little scoring action. It took until the 11th minute for a goal to be scored, but thankfully it was a Dees goal, off the boot of Maddie Gay. Collingwood were handed another goal from a free kick late, but in the end it didn’t make much of a difference. 

Overall it was a pretty polished performance from the Dees. The umpiring was at times questionable and not in our favour, but hey, what’s new?

There were certainly times where I had major concerns about a repeat last week, where we were going to do everything right except kick goals and be caught on the counter. Fortunately, the variable winds of [insert suburban ground] were replaced with the calm, white noise of Fortress Marvel and all was well that ended well. Cunningham finally kicking a goal four weeks in was much appreciated, just as I was about to start a letter writing campaign to promote Tex to the senior list.

With three teams qualifying for the finals this was a vital win. We're now a game and percentage clear of the Pies in fourth and two games ahead of everyone else. It effectively wiped out the St Kilda disaster, and now the only complication is having to play both the sides above us. You would think that three wins out of four from here will absolutely seal the deal, but if there's any team that can find an obscure way to miss out it'll be us.

2020 Daisy Pearce Medal
5 - Karen Paxman
4 - Libby Birch
3 - Tyla Hanks
2 - Shelley Scott
1 - Daisy Pearce

Leaderboard
It's nearly shut the game time on this one. The Living Legend has done it again and will be nigh on impossible to beat from here.

18 - Karen Paxman
12 - Libby Birch
9 - Kate Hore
5 - Maddie Gay, Daisy Pearce
4 - Shelley Scott
3 - Tyla Hanks, Elise O'Dea
1 - Harriet Cordner

Goal of the Week
Kate Hore's goal at the start. She wasn't as prominent forward


If you think I'm having a guest report from somebody affiliated to the Demon Army and not declaring victory for the good guys you're mad. Dees win, levelling the season at two wins, two draws, zero losses.

Media Watch
After all the shit that was hung on Kelli Underwood for getting Meg Downie's name wrong (and she called her Darcy on her first touch this week), turns out I was spelling Libby Birch as 'Burch' all this time. I would like to self-report as a dickhead and apologise to the Birch family.

Next Week
After being no good for the first three weeks, we're lucky that West Coast just won for the first time so they've got it out of their system. Win this and the path to the finals is wide open, lose and we've only got ourselves to blame if we miss.

Final Thoughts

Bred Skett an me pic.twitter.com/Cqcdp20Xv6

— Kern Hinkely (@Kernpls) April 30, 2013