You've got to laugh...

Because otherwise you'd jump off the West Gate..

And thus we turned on Fox Footy and we saw our entire season condensed into four short quarters. We showed up, we were competitive, we were momentarily superior to the opposition, we became lazy, we fucked up, we ended up folding like a house of cards. To be entirely honest I just can't be bothered going into any great length about it, given the conditions (pissing rain early, overcast greasiness throughout) it was impossible to expect that anyone was going to go wild and have the game of the century but the parade of mediocrity that we were treated to was almost too painful to watch.

You could tell the way it was going right from the start. Nobody could hold a ball, kicks were flying everywhere and marks were being dropped left, right and centre. We kicked the first two goals but you could tell it wasn't going to last , and it was only thanks to Adem Yze ripping out an after the siren goal from the boundary line (kicked in front of an old man in the crowd who appeared to be dead..). By halftime, another rotten standard quarter, we'd extended the lead to three but every man and his/her dog knew it wasn't going to last. It wasn't until we took a two goal lead in the third that things started to look as if we may just get away with it. Sadly we then decided to start copping gimmick goals, most of them coming from holding the ball decisions or loose ball gets after some clown attempted to take on the entire city of Perth and got tackled with it. I was moderately depressed at this turn of events, but not as badly as I was when we came out of the 3/4 time break 6pts down and withing five minutes were five goals behind with our entire season in tatters. Then, to completely take the piss, Jared Rivers and Nathan Carroll (who had an excellent game by his standards, and could POTENTIALLY be good for us in the future) ran into each other, and both went down like they'd been blown up. The death toll ended up as one, with Rivers breaking his arm/hand. Well that was the final nail in the coffin. Season OVER. I'd rather be a Carlton fan, at least they've got draft picks to look forward to.

Not entirely sure how to give votes given that we were extremely average. Nobody really stood out.

5 - Brad Green (I suppose.. didn't look like he did much with his 29 touches)
4 - Phil Read (Angry.. angry young man. At least showed fight when everybody else was lost)
3 - Aaron Davey
2 - Travis Johnstone
1 - Ryan Ferguson (Just for the goals..)

Apologies to Ben Holland (!?), Nathan Carroll (!!!!!!??!?!!) and Chris Johnson who didn't disgrace themselves amongst the slop.

Demonblog.com Player of the Year Leaderboard. Five more weeks of this shit until we have a winner!

28 - Travis Johnstone
23 - Brad Green
17 - Cameron Bruce
16 - Russell Robertson
13 - Brent Moloney, Adem Yze
10 - Colin Sylvia
9 - Brock McLean, Aaron Davey
7 - Ryan Ferguson
6 - Clint Bizzell
5 - Jared Rivers, David Neitz
4 - Alistair Nicholson, Daniel Ward, Phil Read
3 - James McDonald, Brad Miller, Nathan Brown, Russell Robertson, Jeff White
2 - Paul Wheatley, Matthew Whelan

Next week: St. Kilda @ the MCG on Saturday. This is IT. If we don't pull something out then this season is 100% gone. Due to the importance of this game I have decided to ditch work and be there in person. A minute's silence please when we lose.

I'm trying to look towards the positives of sport. Wests Tigers are in the 8, South Melbourne are winning, AFC Wimbledon haven't lost a pre-season friendly yet - but yet it all still seems so hollow.