Pre-Season whinge

Now while I applaud them for catering to new supporters (DISCLAIMER FOLLOWS) I think the club are expecting an influx of bandwagon fans in 2005. The season guide that landed in my letterbox today contains the following nuggets of information,

In the "What do I need to take to the football?" section, in addition to the obvious (membership card) we get the following,

* Members Privelege Scarf (hmph.. i'll stick to the old one)
* Warm clothing if it is a cool day as it can get cold in the stadiums (WHAT? Are we catering to complete idiots and corporate scum?)
* Cushion to sit on if you would like a padded seat (Yes, apparently we are)
* Sunglasses and a hat to shield from the sun (Surely they were just padding the word count..)
* Binoculars and a camera are allowed and are optional (Which is good news for those of you who were worried they would be compulsory)
* Copies of the AFL rulebook will be available at the club office (No, I just made that one up - but the Melbourne Storm do it..)

Then there's a detailed guide on how to get to the MCG. Maybe we've got international visitors? Hillariously they offer five lines on how to get there but just direct you to a website for Telstra Dome. That's an attitude towards Corporate Stadium that I can appreciate.

Why would people jump on the MFC bandwagon? Are Demons the new black? I expect celebrity glitz and glamour at all our games this season now, and if at least one second rate neighbours celebrity doesn't list us as her favourite side during an interview I'll be outraged.

Welcome on board corporate high flyers and new age trendy supporters! However, we do not advise that you snort cocaine off MCG toilet seats as they have not been cleaned since we last won a flag.