Saturday 30 April 2005


What? WHAT? In a season where 90% of the teams in the competition have adopted extreme defensive tactics and scores have dropped to 1929 levels we've just scored 129 points and lost. Let's be entirely honest and admit that it's probably a good thing that I was at work today, and not at the MCG. I think I would developed a complex that would have taken a lifetime of therapy to expel.

Without the luxury of one of those jobs that allows you to sit there listening to the radio for 8hrs a day I was forced to rely on pissy mobile phone score updates and occasional calls to the ground for goalkickers and vibe. Didn't look bad at first, then it started to slide, then by half-time we were falling apart faster than Michael Jackson's face. Then during the third quarter, as I scrambled to find a computer or god forbid a radio to follow what was happening on the scores started to balance up again. Then every time I looked (which was, let's face it, every two minutes) we were closer, and closer until in completely unforseen circumstances we hit the front. Then after all that we copped three goals in a row in god knows how long and we were losing again. Suffice to say I was feeling quite confused about what was going on.

Finally, FINALLY I reached a radio just as the whole operation went down the god damn toilet. The first thing I heard was Jeff Farmer kicking his sixth, followed closely behind by his 7th. I cracked the shits - not only with the game but with the 'relaxed' (read: comatose) commentary style of the ABC - and went back to the AFL website when we were 5 goals down with seven or eight minutes left. Then somehow we got the margin back to 8 again. I was lost. If we'd won from there I might have broken down and cried despite not having any indication of what was going on for the preceding four quarters.

High spots appear to have included the performances of Jeff White and Brent Moloney and the goalkicking feats of Neitz, Robertson, and the man who has achieved the rare feat of being "much maligned" across two different clubs, Ben Holland.

The low point is obviously the fact that we conceded 22.11. If this leads to Nicholson returning I'll crack up.

To be honest I had a feeling it was going to happen. I picked Freo. Evidence follows,

Ticket Number 09 08153 04031 01169 04821
Product Footy Tips
Round Number(s) 506 - 506
Round Date(s) 01-MAY-2005 17:10 - 01-MAY-2005 17:10

Your Selected Teams


And what of the Jeffrey Farmer question? I haven't seen any of the messageboards yet but I'm willing to guess that they're full of people whinging, moaning and declaring their undying hatred towards him. I disagree. Yes, he left us. And? Yes, he kicked the goal that sunk us against the Dockers in Perth a few years back. And? And yes he gave it to the crowd when he kicked a goal the last time they beat us at the MCG. Your problem? In a manly, butch and completely heterosexual fashion I still love the guy. Good luck to him, I'm not bearing any grudges.

So... next week. The "resurgent" Adelaide. They're doing a lot better than anyone, including me, expected them to and I'm still not yet convinced that we're the next big thing. I won't be there for that either - for gods sake somebody offer to write a match report or Big Footy will sack me and hire some 15-year-old called I_LUV_ROBBO_24 who writes posts that start with "OMG! I LUV ROBBO! ROFL!" and contain match analysis that involves the terms "wicked", "fully sick" and "LOL".

* Is that the biggest 'match report' ever built out of not having seen a second of the game? Could be a record.

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