So, after the most drawn out process ever it's reported that James McDonald is the new captain. I've got no problem with it, it's not to say I would have picked him myself but he would have been right up there. All the contenders had their pros and cons - in order of my preference;
Brad Green
Pro: Had a magnificent season last year in an otherwise slopfest of a team.
Con: Still seen as soft for some reason. Went close to leaving in the off-season.
Brock McLean
Pro: Has leader written all over him. Loves the club.
Con: Snaps in two every five minutes. Needs a full season without the burden of captaincy.
James McDonald
Pro: Great clubman, respected by all and two time B&F winner
Con: Not a great deal of time left in his career.
Cameron Bruce
Pro: Long term player, good leader, handy in the media.
Con: Despite winning the B&F, and the coveted Allen Jakovich Medal it doesn't seem like he's been playing at 100% for a couple of years.
Brad Miller
Pro: Showed great leadership last year.
Con: Showed very little in the five years before that.
Nathan Jones
Pro: Harder at it than an adult movie star
Con: Needs to learn to deal with being tagged without wasting time trying to tell 21 duds what to do.
John Meesen
Pro: Would prove that he actually exists.
Con: Does not actually exist.
Click here for the Melbfcblog view (kids, get a gimmick name!) I don't think anyone anywhere can begrudge Junior the job - especially because it was voted for by the players - but I think we're all aware that it's only a stopgap measure until one of the other contenders shows something.
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Sunday, 4 January 2009
While You Were Sleeping
It's been a while hasn't it? Since the last time we saw the slopfest team play a lot has happened. Not, however, on this website. Long term readers will know that every off-season follows the same pattern - I promise wild updates, trade week talk, draft previews and all sorts of other bollocks and then deliver NONE of it. And you still love us. But for maximum effect come back a few hours after the first practice match of the year and then normal service will be resumed. Until then, let's look at what we've missed..
Goodbyes
Retired
Yze - to Box Hill
White - to some fake Gold Coast side
Holland - to the Supreme Court presumably
Delisted
Weetra - cheers for two of the worst games in history. Will probably bob up somewhere else and win a flag
Bode - looked alright for about ten minutes, and shithouse for the rest
Carroll - Decidedly inconsistent defence option, finally pushed out by the emergence of Warnock and Garland, as well as an apparent desire to live his life like a massive Rodney Rude routine. Was
hilariously booted out after biffing Ben Holland at a taxi rank.
Johnson - Johnson who? Err, yes Chris. Average player who cracked the sads at not being able to be a regular in the worst team in a decade and did a runner to Carlton. Despite lining up behind a gun midfield is expected to crash and burn before ending up doing the janitorial duties that Chris Judd (the good CJ) is being paid $3 million a year to do at VISY headquarters.
Disappeared
About two million dollars - as well as any hope that we'll ever be a powerhouse in this competition again.
The Sandringham Zebras - it was nice while it lasted, and thanks for giving us the closest we'll ever see to a real premiership ever again but now that our players are gone you'd might as well finish last without winning a game.
Welcomes
It may have come to your attention that we finished stone motherless last in the 2008 AFL competition. If you were unaware of this due to having just woken up from a year long coma (if so there must be a lot better things for you to be doing than reading this bollocks) I suggest asking the nurse to dose you up with enough gear to put you out for another year at least because it's not looking much better.
Due to the 6 months of horse shit that we were required to sit through during 2008, we did have a swag of draft picks. Ladies, and gentlemen (let's be frank... gentlemen) meet;
1. Jack Watts
Not to put too much pressure on this kid but if he's not the BEST PLAYER EVER BORN AND A FUTURE HALL OF FAMER THEN THE WHOLE CLUB IS GOING TO FOLD AND MOVE TO JAKARTA. Enough pressure on him then? He keeps getting talked up as the new Riewoldt - does that mean we're destined to build a decent list and then do nothing with it ever?
17. Sam Blease
Midfielder. I'm sure you can find your own analysis of his ups and downs elsewhere. I'm just hear to tell you that sub-editors across the nation - not to mention me - are dying for him to explode onto the scene and become a game turned because there's a billion different headlines based around the words "ease" and "easy" that they're sitting on.
"Bleasey as 1-2-3"
"Dees win with Blease"
"Bleasey as you like"
"Three Bleasy Pieces" (I'm not sure how they'd manage to work this one in)
"Blease Me, Please Me"
etc..
19. James Strauss
An allegedly penetrating kick off the half-back line. Will presumably eventually fill the 10 cent coin sized gap filled by Chris Johnson. While we're doing headlines how about "STRAUSS OF PAIN"? Too easy.
35. Jamie Bennell
Quick but apparently thinner than Ryan "Where Are They Now" Ferguson. Were we any good I'd tell you that you wouldn't see him next season, but given that we're likely to use the entire list at some point as form and injury cut the team to shreds he'll probably be playing by Round 5.
51. Neville Jetta
The new Wonaeamirri/Celebrator, who was the new Davey but not quite. So god knows what will actually happen.
64. Rohan Bail
20 years old and apparently 'ready' for AFL football. Another medium sized midfielder. Do you think we've got enough midfielders? Now I know we finally got some love from the backline last year - and may I say thank christ because otherwise we would have been Fitzroy '96 - but let's get serious about this our forward line is still iffy and the ruck division if Johnson hurts himself again is so ordinary that even Nick Smith might have gotten another game.
Pre-Season Draft 1. Liam Jurrah
There's more mystery about this guy than Batman. Played a handful of games for the Collingwood 2's last year - but we won't hold that against him - before bailing for home and returning to dominate in the NT league where he booted four in the first quarter of the grand final. Apparently English is his fourth language - and if that's not one of the best gimmicks ever at this club then I'm not here. Will probably dominate for 6 weeks, get jack of everything and do a runner. Only time will tell.
Rookie Draft 1. Jordie McKenzie
Jordie? That's the most obscure first name we've sent out since Jamie Shanahan.
17. Rhys Healey
No idea. Played in a Bendigo league grand final as a 17-year-old apparently. That'll do nicely for now. Call me when he plays for the Casey seniors.
33. Danny Hughes
Back again after a year off with injury. May eventually get within three area codes of the seniors if he's luckily.
Welcome also to the Casey (nee Springvale) Scorpions as our new VFL affiliate. Lets hope that they do whatever we tell them to do and our young players are given the chance to develop quickly down there. My advice if you're visiting Cranbourne is to put your car on bricks in advance to save time.
Where Are You?
Sponsors? Any chance? With Luxbet, Sportingbet, Centrebet, Betfair, the Casino et al poisoning our community with their gambling advertising you'd think that at least one of them would be interested in bunging us a few hundred thousand to be major sponsor. No? Well, how about Foxtel? They gave us a hundred g's for Debt Demolition month and got very little out of it - why not spring the $50 it would take to be our major sponsor? Not allowed to due to broadcast rights?
At this rate we'll be sponsored by Ray's Tent City
Did anyone else notice that the members brochure had an advertisement for pre-purchasing the '09 jumper where it had SPONSOR written in Times New Roman across the jumper where said sponsor would be. Do you think if we don't get anyone soon then we really will be going into the regular season dressed like that? It would still look better than the shithouse silver clash jumper.
Questions that must be answered
Is John Meesen the second coming of Ivan Bartul? I'm still not convinced either of them exist.
Early Predictions
I'm not convinced that I can find anyone who will finish below us, but I refuse to believe we're bad enough to be last again so I'm tipping a big 14th place finish this year. Sadly this will lead to the same bullshit that we slaughtered Carlton fans for two years ago when half of their muppet fans wanted them to lose every game at the end of the season just for the draft picks.
Besides, I reckon we can take North in Round 1. The Junkyard Dog is rapidly losing his appeal at Arden Street, and there's nobody better to sow the seeds of doubt at North than a rabble like us. Round 1, 1997 anyone? We all remember how well that season went from there!
Captain: They'll be boring and go for McDonald or Bruce even though everyone wants BROCK AND ROLL to run riot.
Goalkicking: Robertson
B&F: Surely Brock
First major injury: Would have to be Moloney wouldn't it?
Surprise package: Rivers to avoid injuring himself for at least half the season
Disappointment: Wonaeamirri - Looks a bit too much like a one trick pony for mine.
Next?
Pre-Season training is the most tedious time of the year. Yes, half the side are injured, and the other half are either training the house down (aka Meesen) or have apparently buffed up to the point where they look like they should be appearing at Wrestlemania. However, if you do the rounds you'll find that the exact same thing is happening at 16 clubs in the competition.
Same goes for intra-club games. If somebody is dominating then it means one of our other players is rubbish. Such is life. The only test that matters is when the pre-season games against other sides begin. We've won one in two years (and this is no Sydney-esque "oh we accidentally lost" thing) and it's proven to be an excellent guide of what was to come. We've been dealt no favors by getting the reigning premier in the first round of the Escort/Panasonic/Ansett/Wizard/NAB Cup for the second season in a row, but the good news is that even though it will do precisely nothing for our footballing development it does provide us an opportunity to pull off a sick trip to Launceston, a place which more than one commentator has referred to as the Las Vegas of the south.
Goodbyes
Retired
Yze - to Box Hill
White - to some fake Gold Coast side
Holland - to the Supreme Court presumably
Delisted
Weetra - cheers for two of the worst games in history. Will probably bob up somewhere else and win a flag
Bode - looked alright for about ten minutes, and shithouse for the rest
Carroll - Decidedly inconsistent defence option, finally pushed out by the emergence of Warnock and Garland, as well as an apparent desire to live his life like a massive Rodney Rude routine. Was
hilariously booted out after biffing Ben Holland at a taxi rank.
Johnson - Johnson who? Err, yes Chris. Average player who cracked the sads at not being able to be a regular in the worst team in a decade and did a runner to Carlton. Despite lining up behind a gun midfield is expected to crash and burn before ending up doing the janitorial duties that Chris Judd (the good CJ) is being paid $3 million a year to do at VISY headquarters.
Disappeared
About two million dollars - as well as any hope that we'll ever be a powerhouse in this competition again.
The Sandringham Zebras - it was nice while it lasted, and thanks for giving us the closest we'll ever see to a real premiership ever again but now that our players are gone you'd might as well finish last without winning a game.
Welcomes
It may have come to your attention that we finished stone motherless last in the 2008 AFL competition. If you were unaware of this due to having just woken up from a year long coma (if so there must be a lot better things for you to be doing than reading this bollocks) I suggest asking the nurse to dose you up with enough gear to put you out for another year at least because it's not looking much better.
Due to the 6 months of horse shit that we were required to sit through during 2008, we did have a swag of draft picks. Ladies, and gentlemen (let's be frank... gentlemen) meet;
1. Jack Watts
Not to put too much pressure on this kid but if he's not the BEST PLAYER EVER BORN AND A FUTURE HALL OF FAMER THEN THE WHOLE CLUB IS GOING TO FOLD AND MOVE TO JAKARTA. Enough pressure on him then? He keeps getting talked up as the new Riewoldt - does that mean we're destined to build a decent list and then do nothing with it ever?
17. Sam Blease
Midfielder. I'm sure you can find your own analysis of his ups and downs elsewhere. I'm just hear to tell you that sub-editors across the nation - not to mention me - are dying for him to explode onto the scene and become a game turned because there's a billion different headlines based around the words "ease" and "easy" that they're sitting on.
"Bleasey as 1-2-3"
"Dees win with Blease"
"Bleasey as you like"
"Three Bleasy Pieces" (I'm not sure how they'd manage to work this one in)
"Blease Me, Please Me"
etc..
19. James Strauss
An allegedly penetrating kick off the half-back line. Will presumably eventually fill the 10 cent coin sized gap filled by Chris Johnson. While we're doing headlines how about "STRAUSS OF PAIN"? Too easy.
35. Jamie Bennell
Quick but apparently thinner than Ryan "Where Are They Now" Ferguson. Were we any good I'd tell you that you wouldn't see him next season, but given that we're likely to use the entire list at some point as form and injury cut the team to shreds he'll probably be playing by Round 5.
51. Neville Jetta
The new Wonaeamirri/Celebrator, who was the new Davey but not quite. So god knows what will actually happen.
64. Rohan Bail
20 years old and apparently 'ready' for AFL football. Another medium sized midfielder. Do you think we've got enough midfielders? Now I know we finally got some love from the backline last year - and may I say thank christ because otherwise we would have been Fitzroy '96 - but let's get serious about this our forward line is still iffy and the ruck division if Johnson hurts himself again is so ordinary that even Nick Smith might have gotten another game.
Pre-Season Draft 1. Liam Jurrah
There's more mystery about this guy than Batman. Played a handful of games for the Collingwood 2's last year - but we won't hold that against him - before bailing for home and returning to dominate in the NT league where he booted four in the first quarter of the grand final. Apparently English is his fourth language - and if that's not one of the best gimmicks ever at this club then I'm not here. Will probably dominate for 6 weeks, get jack of everything and do a runner. Only time will tell.
Rookie Draft 1. Jordie McKenzie
Jordie? That's the most obscure first name we've sent out since Jamie Shanahan.
17. Rhys Healey
No idea. Played in a Bendigo league grand final as a 17-year-old apparently. That'll do nicely for now. Call me when he plays for the Casey seniors.
33. Danny Hughes
Back again after a year off with injury. May eventually get within three area codes of the seniors if he's luckily.
Welcome also to the Casey (nee Springvale) Scorpions as our new VFL affiliate. Lets hope that they do whatever we tell them to do and our young players are given the chance to develop quickly down there. My advice if you're visiting Cranbourne is to put your car on bricks in advance to save time.
Where Are You?
Sponsors? Any chance? With Luxbet, Sportingbet, Centrebet, Betfair, the Casino et al poisoning our community with their gambling advertising you'd think that at least one of them would be interested in bunging us a few hundred thousand to be major sponsor. No? Well, how about Foxtel? They gave us a hundred g's for Debt Demolition month and got very little out of it - why not spring the $50 it would take to be our major sponsor? Not allowed to due to broadcast rights?
At this rate we'll be sponsored by Ray's Tent City
Did anyone else notice that the members brochure had an advertisement for pre-purchasing the '09 jumper where it had SPONSOR written in Times New Roman across the jumper where said sponsor would be. Do you think if we don't get anyone soon then we really will be going into the regular season dressed like that? It would still look better than the shithouse silver clash jumper.
Questions that must be answered
Is John Meesen the second coming of Ivan Bartul? I'm still not convinced either of them exist.
Early Predictions
I'm not convinced that I can find anyone who will finish below us, but I refuse to believe we're bad enough to be last again so I'm tipping a big 14th place finish this year. Sadly this will lead to the same bullshit that we slaughtered Carlton fans for two years ago when half of their muppet fans wanted them to lose every game at the end of the season just for the draft picks.
Besides, I reckon we can take North in Round 1. The Junkyard Dog is rapidly losing his appeal at Arden Street, and there's nobody better to sow the seeds of doubt at North than a rabble like us. Round 1, 1997 anyone? We all remember how well that season went from there!
Captain: They'll be boring and go for McDonald or Bruce even though everyone wants BROCK AND ROLL to run riot.
Goalkicking: Robertson
B&F: Surely Brock
First major injury: Would have to be Moloney wouldn't it?
Surprise package: Rivers to avoid injuring himself for at least half the season
Disappointment: Wonaeamirri - Looks a bit too much like a one trick pony for mine.
Next?
Pre-Season training is the most tedious time of the year. Yes, half the side are injured, and the other half are either training the house down (aka Meesen) or have apparently buffed up to the point where they look like they should be appearing at Wrestlemania. However, if you do the rounds you'll find that the exact same thing is happening at 16 clubs in the competition.
Same goes for intra-club games. If somebody is dominating then it means one of our other players is rubbish. Such is life. The only test that matters is when the pre-season games against other sides begin. We've won one in two years (and this is no Sydney-esque "oh we accidentally lost" thing) and it's proven to be an excellent guide of what was to come. We've been dealt no favors by getting the reigning premier in the first round of the Escort/Panasonic/Ansett/Wizard/NAB Cup for the second season in a row, but the good news is that even though it will do precisely nothing for our footballing development it does provide us an opportunity to pull off a sick trip to Launceston, a place which more than one commentator has referred to as the Las Vegas of the south.
Saturday, 20 December 2008
Happy Kwanza 2008
Look it up.
And while you are, take a look at
a) Dean Bailey flip you off
and
b) Mark Jamar (amongst others) show you his arse
Here's to a more productive 2009.
And while you are, take a look at
a) Dean Bailey flip you off
and
b) Mark Jamar (amongst others) show you his arse
Here's to a more productive 2009.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Draft Day wishlist
1. Several people who can play some decent fucking football in the next couple of years
2. There is no #2
2. There is no #2
Sunday, 28 September 2008
Grand Final Day Review
Pre Match
The entertainment - If Powderfinger aren't the dullest band ever to be declared 'popular' then I'm not here. Even Coldplay and Radiohead look charismatic in comparison. The entire concept was far from the worst ever (Kath and fucking Kim in a hovercraft anyone?) but it was nothing special. What the buggery was up with people swinging around with giant poles up their clacker? Looked more like an artistic BDSM installation than a grand final.
The crowd
Looks like a few legitimate fans managed to sneak their way in amongst the glory hunters and corporate swine. I'm sure the AFL are working on ways to try and stamp out this offensive practice in time for next year.
Game
I had Tom Lonergan for first goalkicker on the basis that having his kidney destroyed by Brad Miller practically made him a Melbourne player. And in the absence of any actual ex-Melbourne players giving it the Steve Armstrong "You sacked me and I've won more flags than you have in 40 years so fuck you" routine that was close enough for me. Good enough for first goalkicker anyway, I was sort of going for Hawthorn due to the fact that Clarkson played two pretty much forgettable seasons for us at the arse end of his career and Todd Viney is one of their assistant coaches. So I got the cash for Lonergan AND the Hawks by 25-42. Which was nice. Would have got the quarter quad if it had been two points closer. Which would have been nicer.
Oh, the actual game? Who cares - somebody won, somebody lost. We'd all laugh at Geelong if Melbourne had been capable of winning anything ever, but as it stands they're still a shitload better than us so good luck to them. Surely my theory that a Premiership buys a decade of stress relief must count for something. I can't see myself being THAT shattered if I was a Geelong fan - sure you lost after one of the best seasons ever but last year's win MUST be consolation enough. Throw a bread roll at Luke Hodge when you see him if you want, but at least acknowledge the fact that you're doing a lot better than anyone who follows Footscray, Melbourne, St. Kilda, Richmond or Freo. Actually Freo fans deserve whatever they get.
Coverage
Who gives a rats about analysis? We were too busy watching the Top 40 allegedly "Banned Videos" on VH1 in the breaks. In what jurisdiction was Baby Got Back banned? A country who didn't like big butts? I may have had far too much to drink but I recall turning the volume up to maximum when Killing In The Name Of came on and yelling "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!" a few times. Would make a great theme song - take notes GC17 and the West Sydney Farce.
Emo
If I hadn't rebelled against the suburb of my birth at seven years of age and decided that I would go for whoever played Hawthorn in the '88 Grand Final then I'd be face down a pool of my own emissions in celebration at Glenferrie Oval right now rather than trying to find some joy in the performance of Stef Martin in the Grand Final sprint.
The entertainment - If Powderfinger aren't the dullest band ever to be declared 'popular' then I'm not here. Even Coldplay and Radiohead look charismatic in comparison. The entire concept was far from the worst ever (Kath and fucking Kim in a hovercraft anyone?) but it was nothing special. What the buggery was up with people swinging around with giant poles up their clacker? Looked more like an artistic BDSM installation than a grand final.
The crowd
Looks like a few legitimate fans managed to sneak their way in amongst the glory hunters and corporate swine. I'm sure the AFL are working on ways to try and stamp out this offensive practice in time for next year.
Game
I had Tom Lonergan for first goalkicker on the basis that having his kidney destroyed by Brad Miller practically made him a Melbourne player. And in the absence of any actual ex-Melbourne players giving it the Steve Armstrong "You sacked me and I've won more flags than you have in 40 years so fuck you" routine that was close enough for me. Good enough for first goalkicker anyway, I was sort of going for Hawthorn due to the fact that Clarkson played two pretty much forgettable seasons for us at the arse end of his career and Todd Viney is one of their assistant coaches. So I got the cash for Lonergan AND the Hawks by 25-42. Which was nice. Would have got the quarter quad if it had been two points closer. Which would have been nicer.
Oh, the actual game? Who cares - somebody won, somebody lost. We'd all laugh at Geelong if Melbourne had been capable of winning anything ever, but as it stands they're still a shitload better than us so good luck to them. Surely my theory that a Premiership buys a decade of stress relief must count for something. I can't see myself being THAT shattered if I was a Geelong fan - sure you lost after one of the best seasons ever but last year's win MUST be consolation enough. Throw a bread roll at Luke Hodge when you see him if you want, but at least acknowledge the fact that you're doing a lot better than anyone who follows Footscray, Melbourne, St. Kilda, Richmond or Freo. Actually Freo fans deserve whatever they get.
Coverage
Who gives a rats about analysis? We were too busy watching the Top 40 allegedly "Banned Videos" on VH1 in the breaks. In what jurisdiction was Baby Got Back banned? A country who didn't like big butts? I may have had far too much to drink but I recall turning the volume up to maximum when Killing In The Name Of came on and yelling "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!" a few times. Would make a great theme song - take notes GC17 and the West Sydney Farce.
Emo
If I hadn't rebelled against the suburb of my birth at seven years of age and decided that I would go for whoever played Hawthorn in the '88 Grand Final then I'd be face down a pool of my own emissions in celebration at Glenferrie Oval right now rather than trying to find some joy in the performance of Stef Martin in the Grand Final sprint.
Monday, 22 September 2008
Random Brownlow Thoughts
* What good is Kate Ceberano without Russell Robertson? Nil I say. Did we really need her singing "Let Me Entertain You"? The response from the assembled crowd of pissed footballers and blondes when she tried to get them to clap along said it all really.
* Surely somebody could have stopped Demetriou straight away when he somehow started reading the Round 2 votes instead of Round 1. Perhaps if they didn't try and belt through the first half of the season in 25 seconds in order to cram a few more ads in they wouldn't cock it up? No damage done - except to the reputation of anyone who thinks the AFL have half an idea what they're doing.
* But if we're going to have 3hrs of speed reading and gurning footy players on prime time network television is there ANY DANGER that we might get the AFL National Draft on as well? Surely even if Channel 10 don't want to bump a highly rating Elvis movie at midday on a Sunday then Fox Sports could take a camera in and film it. For gods sake I'll do it with a handycam.
* About round 6 every year is the bit where I start to realise that I'm not as into it as I thought I was before the evening started. Cue eight rounds of moderate despair before getting interested again. Doesn't help when your team is an unreconstructed slopfest who rarely, if ever, made the round-by-round highlights packages.
* Speaking of - is there any chance they might try and find a highlight or an interesting tidbit from all eight games across the week? Cut out a bit of Kate and a few ads and give us some decent packages. At least this year it meant we didn't have to see Melbourne lose every week - or at all for the first two months of the season.
* Non-footy people may not understand why it's so important to watch people read the names of drafted players out rather than listen to it on the radio. But it is - get used to it. Just be thankful it's not like the NFL with a two day draft.
* Was I the only one to almost fall off the couch in celebration when Jamie Shanahan was mysteriously wheeled out for Robert Harvey's tribute? When Harvs said how he shared a beer with those on stage when they got knocked out of the '98 finals he probably wasn't referring to the bloke who was lined up for the team that put them out. As the one and only person to ever wear a Shanahan #1 MFC jumper I'll take any excuse to see him in action, even if it is standing around looking a bit confused.
* The Channel 10 late news was being advertised as coming on at 11.21pm. What a random time.
* At least we didn't have to sit through some sort of ridiculous "family man" bollocks where they let kids be cute like James Hird and family last year. Funniest Home Videos is on Sunday night, that's where you do the "aww" and "ahh" work. Brownlow Night is for giant excel spreadsheets.
* Speaking of stats, interesting that Ten used every opportunity they had to show the top 10 on the leaderboard but never once did a team-by-team leaders count throughout the night. Nor did they persist with roping in the likes of Robert Walls for 'expert' comments. In fact at the very same time the count was on Robby W was appearing on what must surely have been the lowest rating episode of Fox Sports' "On The Couch" ever.
* How the buggery did Jeff White a vote against Freo, Yze against Collingwood and Wheatley against West Coast? Nothing at all to do with being bitter about Brad Green not winning our count. Not at all. P.S - For god's sake can Brock McLean please play 22 rounds next season? He'll win the bloody thing if we can avoid losing every game by 200 points.
* Didn't expect much from Cooney's speech, but he was quite entertaining. Half cut perhaps? If not he will be soon.
* Roll on trade week, the draft(s) and next freaking season already. Cricket is clearly a fictional sport.
* Grand Final? I'll be offbeat and say Hawthorn by 5 goals. However I'm sure we're all hoping for the same thing to happen. Geelong by 2pts, Franklin marks 30m out directly in front and the siren goes. How's THAT going to be for tension - the golden boy either delivers or costs them a flag. Wild.
* Surely somebody could have stopped Demetriou straight away when he somehow started reading the Round 2 votes instead of Round 1. Perhaps if they didn't try and belt through the first half of the season in 25 seconds in order to cram a few more ads in they wouldn't cock it up? No damage done - except to the reputation of anyone who thinks the AFL have half an idea what they're doing.
* But if we're going to have 3hrs of speed reading and gurning footy players on prime time network television is there ANY DANGER that we might get the AFL National Draft on as well? Surely even if Channel 10 don't want to bump a highly rating Elvis movie at midday on a Sunday then Fox Sports could take a camera in and film it. For gods sake I'll do it with a handycam.
* About round 6 every year is the bit where I start to realise that I'm not as into it as I thought I was before the evening started. Cue eight rounds of moderate despair before getting interested again. Doesn't help when your team is an unreconstructed slopfest who rarely, if ever, made the round-by-round highlights packages.
* Speaking of - is there any chance they might try and find a highlight or an interesting tidbit from all eight games across the week? Cut out a bit of Kate and a few ads and give us some decent packages. At least this year it meant we didn't have to see Melbourne lose every week - or at all for the first two months of the season.
* Non-footy people may not understand why it's so important to watch people read the names of drafted players out rather than listen to it on the radio. But it is - get used to it. Just be thankful it's not like the NFL with a two day draft.
* Was I the only one to almost fall off the couch in celebration when Jamie Shanahan was mysteriously wheeled out for Robert Harvey's tribute? When Harvs said how he shared a beer with those on stage when they got knocked out of the '98 finals he probably wasn't referring to the bloke who was lined up for the team that put them out. As the one and only person to ever wear a Shanahan #1 MFC jumper I'll take any excuse to see him in action, even if it is standing around looking a bit confused.
* The Channel 10 late news was being advertised as coming on at 11.21pm. What a random time.
* At least we didn't have to sit through some sort of ridiculous "family man" bollocks where they let kids be cute like James Hird and family last year. Funniest Home Videos is on Sunday night, that's where you do the "aww" and "ahh" work. Brownlow Night is for giant excel spreadsheets.
* Speaking of stats, interesting that Ten used every opportunity they had to show the top 10 on the leaderboard but never once did a team-by-team leaders count throughout the night. Nor did they persist with roping in the likes of Robert Walls for 'expert' comments. In fact at the very same time the count was on Robby W was appearing on what must surely have been the lowest rating episode of Fox Sports' "On The Couch" ever.
* How the buggery did Jeff White a vote against Freo, Yze against Collingwood and Wheatley against West Coast? Nothing at all to do with being bitter about Brad Green not winning our count. Not at all. P.S - For god's sake can Brock McLean please play 22 rounds next season? He'll win the bloody thing if we can avoid losing every game by 200 points.
* Didn't expect much from Cooney's speech, but he was quite entertaining. Half cut perhaps? If not he will be soon.
* Roll on trade week, the draft(s) and next freaking season already. Cricket is clearly a fictional sport.
* Grand Final? I'll be offbeat and say Hawthorn by 5 goals. However I'm sure we're all hoping for the same thing to happen. Geelong by 2pts, Franklin marks 30m out directly in front and the siren goes. How's THAT going to be for tension - the golden boy either delivers or costs them a flag. Wild.
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Demonblog's Season In Review
NAB Cup - vs Geelong
or "(Geelong) Road To Nowhere)
We could be a contender! This season, however, we are going to be flotsam. Get used to it.
Pre Season Game #1 - vs Richmond
or "Twat's Entertainment"
When you're reduced to reading forums where people are posting information that they're getting from somebody at the ground who is sending them text messages, then you've got to start wondering what sort of competition you're actually following.
Pre Season Game #2 - vs Footscray
or "The Night The Lights Went Out In Bendigo"
Then, all of a sudden and against all odds, the Sexy Football Machine went into overdrive and we started slaughtering the dogs all over the ground.
Then the Dogs remembered what they were paid to be doing and decided to put some pressure on. Sexy football machine OFF, slop machine ON.
Pre Season Game #3 vs North Melbourne
or "Southern Suburbs Suicide Saturday Special"
Basically the entire last quarter was junk time. You could tell by the clouds of dust kicking up from the carpark during the final term that everyone had given up. Can't blame them really - even with the ground announcer desperately trying to get people to stay for the Scorpions/Sandy game.
Round 1 vs Hawthorn
or "The Winter Of Our Discontent"
You knew we'd hit rock bottom when some tart in a Carlton scarf in front of me said "this is embarassing". When they can see it you know it's all over. Speaking of Carlton, I wonder why exactly Chris "DO YOUR KNEE YOU TRAITOROUS DOG" Judd didn't want to come to us? The crunt is obviously a fortune teller.
BOG: Jones
Round 2 vs Footscray
or "I Hate You So Much Right Now"
Next Week
Geelong in Geelong. Ahahahahahha go and get fucked. I'll be there - do you think there will be more than thirteen other Demon fans present? Basically this shit is going to go down like Gallipoli - we're going in knowing that we're going to be massacred. Here's to heroic defeat, rather than the disgraceful slop that we're likely to be served up.
Next Life
I will be a French aristocrat who spends every cent of the family fortune on whores, brandy and having underlings ripped apart by horses. It will be spectacular.
BOG: Jones again
Round 3 vs Geelong
or "Highway To Hell"
Incidentally, on Hawkins, welcome to the Kent Kingsley Klub. A moderate player who will show up once a year and play a decent game against us. May as well get fitted for your Richmond jumper now son.
John Barnes is lucky that Andrew Jarman is still allowed near a microphone, because Jarman is the only person between JB and the title of "worst commentator in sports"
BOG: Bruce
Round 4 vs North Melbourne
or "Saturday Depression Session"
We are a team without skill. It's official. How do you get a job as an AFL footballer if you can't actually kick or handpass a ball? Draft me next year, I can't play for shit but at least with the 120+ rotations a game off the bench I might even have a chance of getting 20 good minutes before having a coronary
BOG: Green
Round 5 vs Carlton
or "Crazy For Feeling So Blue"
Rotations are all the rage this year, but now it's spread to the crowd as well. 10 girls showed up and sat in the same row as us, then spent the entire game getting up and leaving 3 times a quarter - including a minute into the 3rd quarter. What were you doing for half time? Watching Little League? Peanuts. At least they weren't wandering back with beers every five seconds like your typically drunken and stupid footy fan.
Round 6 vs Brisbane
or "It's Grim Up North"
Most of the time it looked as if Bailey was on his own in the coaches box. I'm surprised he didn't just walk out himself.
BOG: Bruce
Round 7 vs Fremantle
or "I Feel Love"
Meanwhile, in a special Demonblog message to Jeff Farmer I'd simply like to say. COP THAT YOU PRICK. I was looking straight at your lips when you said "look at the scoreboard to one of our guys during that last quarter". Well, for your benefit lets take another look at that scoreboard now. If you're waiting for the replay, look away now...
Round 8 vs Adelaide
or "Normal Service Has Been Resumed: Melbourne Football Club Apologises For Any Inconvenience"
Speaking of the rules everyone would have seen what a complete brothel the new interchange rule was. To recap you now need to fill in a slip, post it to the AFL c/o PO Box 2342 in your capital city, wait three weeks for a response, write a 2000 word essay on the influence of Marxist-Leninist thinking on Australian Politics and watch the entire first series of Birds Of A Feather twice before you can make any interchanges.
BOG: Davey
Round 9 vs Hawthorn
or "Someday This War's Gonna End"
What home crowd? Where was everybody. We were only farewelling one of our greatest ever players at a home game - what else did people need to get to the ground? Yet we would have been lucky to have 15,000 of the 40k crowd. It was an absolute disgrace. It's no wonder that when peanuts like Jeff Kennett say stupid things about clubs moving that a good deal of people think it's not such a bad idea.
BOG: Miller
Round 10 vs St. Kilda or "The Stephen Powell Memorial Shield" (special report by CaptainDavey)
At this point in time I would like to make mention of our ridiculously ridiculous looking clash kit. It has a design that looks as though it belonged on a netball kit. It actually made it difficult to determine which players were from which teams at some points, particularly in marking contests…But as soon as either Riewoldt, Koschitzke or the much heralded Matthew Ferguson emerged with the pill from marking contests it became painfully apparent which players were posing as AFL footballers and which players actually had any hand/eye coordination.
BOG: Bate
Round 11 vs Collingwood
or "Super Happy Fun Asia Report"
The only other guy in there who really cared was a Collingwood fan who, from his comments, was clearly only living there so that he could hit some serious ass. Make of that what you will - I thought he was disgrace but at least he admitted it.
BOG: Jones
Round 12 vs Richmond
or "Despair In The Dome" (special report by DaveyMagik)
Bar a great goal by Frosty to start the 2nd term we well and truly dropped the soap. We got shat on in midfield, whoever the fuck was on Deledio was doing a shit job and the Tigers were kicking goals at will. I'll just take a little time here to highlight the stupidity of some of their supporters. Not even Collingwood supporters are dumb enough to shout 'BALLLLLLLLL' when the opposition player is tackled as soon as they touch the ball, but the Tigers sure are.
BOG: Bruce
Round 13 vs Sydney
or "I See Red Hair" (Special report by McLean_4_Captain)
Not only did Bate come alive in the second quarter, the moisturising pair of Johnson & Johnson, both showed what we’ve been hoping to see from them all year.
BOG: Bate
Round 14 vs Brisbane
or "It's Miller Time"
23k. Looked like about 4500 at the first bounce but they came from somewhere. Again we were almost outdrawn by the away fans. And in case you were wondering, that was THE CELEBRATOR's dad sitting with Jim Stynes and not the exiled Zimbabwean opposition leader. Sorry Mr. CELEBRATOR.
Congratulations to the guy in front of me who insisted on calling Brisbane "the Roys" all day. Keep the dream alive sir - it certainly looked like a Fitzroy game crowd. Shame that he had to be an unsufferable crunt in the last quarter when Bradshaw kicked the 'winning' goal. Respect lost, sucked in hard.
BOG: Green
Round 15 vs Footscray
or "Stormy Weather"
When we first met the Dogs this season, in that farce of a practice match at Bendigo where the lights went out, I was convinced that they were a bottom three side. This is why I never claim to be a real analyst of football, but at least I can't be accused of bias considering I had us in there as well. Anyway, as we've all seen - to devestating effect in Round 2 - they are quite good actually and have only dropped 1.5 games this year. Well slap my ass and call me a bitch, I didn't see that one coming.
BOG: Garland
Round 16 vs Fremantle
or "Deathbed Football"
Five minutes into the second quarter Mark Jamar used one of his four kicks for the day to slot our sixth straight, and given that he's never had more than five kicks in a match it was surely an omen of good times to come. Bollocks it was. From that moment on it was a full scale mid-air emergency as Air Melbourne plummetted towards the ground at a million miles an hour, and all the deployed oxygen masks in the world weren't going to save us.
BOG: Johnson
Round 17 vs North Melbourne
or "Blue Sunday"
Simon Buckley is giving me the shits. Is there any danger that he might actually dispose of a ball one day instead of dancing about trying beat everyone like he's in a 1970's disco. You can't tell me that other clubs don't sit down, watch the video of us play and identify the fact that whenever he gets it he'll try and step his way out of it EVERY FREAKING TIME.
BOG: Valenti
Round 18 vs Essendon
or "And The Crowd Goes Absolutely Mild"
Cometh the second quarter, cometh some of the worst umpiring you are ever likely to see in your life. Get the tape of this one before the AFL go back and wipe it from the official record to spare themselves, and the family of the gentleman involved (one Mr. Fila I believe) shame and embarassment at having been connected to it. So, Cam Bruce takes a mark 50m out hard on the boundary line and his opponent holds onto him. Fifty! Err no apparently not. So he keeps holding onto him and dragging him forward. Any minute now they're going to pay the 50 or at least tell the Essendon player to piss off onto his mark and behave himself. Well, that didn't happen. Eventually Bruce was thrown free, at which point the other guy hit the ground and tackled him around the ankles. Play on! Get fucked!
Round 19 vs Geelong
or "Friday Night Follies"
From 0-0 at 4.22 of Q1, to 0-53 at 0.00 of Q2 I have rarely seen a more demoralising 25 minutes of football. We've had our share of last quarter fadeouts over the years, and the odd opening quarter of doom but never before have we looked so massively inept. Sure you're playing the best team in the land, but they're not making you handball it to the guy 25cm from you with two players almost already tackling him.
BOG: Whelan
Round 20 vs West Coast
or "Welcome to the Blunderdome"
The game was delayed for a couple of minutes after Beau Wilkes (who? Sounds like a sitcom character) pinballed off Maric (where pinball = was shoved by) into Jamar and was knocked into next week. Special J did absolutely nothing wrong but will probably get pinged for it anyway knowing the corrupt nature of the tribunal. After they'd dragged the lifeless carcass of Wilkes off (well, he was moving his hand..), we did our best to let the Eagles back into the game by allowing them to pepper the goals for the first fifteen minutes of the quarter.
BOG: Morton
Round 21 vs Port Adelaide
or "Another Victim of South Australian Serial Killers"
Blah, blah, blah we were shit. Blah, blah, blah maybe we'll be good in 2015. We lost, badly, it was a slopfest and thank christ next week we can wash our hands of this whole shithouse season and find something more important to do during summer.
BOG: Buckley
Round 22 vs Richmond
or "Three Retirements and a Funeral"
Eventually it was over and we got to wash our hands of this abortion of a year and get on with our lives. For all the wild celebrations by Richmond fans it needed to be pointed out that they'll be doing exactly the same thing we will be next week, and that their players will be scouting chicks in nightclubs not opponents in tactics sessions this week.
BOG: Whelan
Votes
29 - Cameron Bruce (WINNER: 2008 Allen Jakovich Medal for Player Of the Year)
27 - Brad Green
24 - Nathan Jones, James McDonald
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Matthew Bate
17 - Brad Miller
17 - Cale Morton (WINNER: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
14 - Lynden Dunn
14 - Matthew Whelan (WINNER: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
13 - Paul Johnson (WINNER: 2008 Strawbs O'Dwyer Medal for Ruckman of the Year)
12 - Colin Garland, Chris Johnson, Shane Valenti
11 - Aaron Davey, Simon Buckley
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram, Stefan Martin, Paul Wheatley, Adem Yze
3 - Nathan Carroll, Matthew Warnock, Jeff White
3 - Colin Sylvia
2 - Russell Robertson, Addam Maric
1 - Mark Jamar
or "(Geelong) Road To Nowhere)
We could be a contender! This season, however, we are going to be flotsam. Get used to it.
Pre Season Game #1 - vs Richmond
or "Twat's Entertainment"
When you're reduced to reading forums where people are posting information that they're getting from somebody at the ground who is sending them text messages, then you've got to start wondering what sort of competition you're actually following.
Pre Season Game #2 - vs Footscray
or "The Night The Lights Went Out In Bendigo"
Then, all of a sudden and against all odds, the Sexy Football Machine went into overdrive and we started slaughtering the dogs all over the ground.
Then the Dogs remembered what they were paid to be doing and decided to put some pressure on. Sexy football machine OFF, slop machine ON.
Pre Season Game #3 vs North Melbourne
or "Southern Suburbs Suicide Saturday Special"
Basically the entire last quarter was junk time. You could tell by the clouds of dust kicking up from the carpark during the final term that everyone had given up. Can't blame them really - even with the ground announcer desperately trying to get people to stay for the Scorpions/Sandy game.
Round 1 vs Hawthorn
or "The Winter Of Our Discontent"
You knew we'd hit rock bottom when some tart in a Carlton scarf in front of me said "this is embarassing". When they can see it you know it's all over. Speaking of Carlton, I wonder why exactly Chris "DO YOUR KNEE YOU TRAITOROUS DOG" Judd didn't want to come to us? The crunt is obviously a fortune teller.
BOG: Jones
Round 2 vs Footscray
or "I Hate You So Much Right Now"
Next Week
Geelong in Geelong. Ahahahahahha go and get fucked. I'll be there - do you think there will be more than thirteen other Demon fans present? Basically this shit is going to go down like Gallipoli - we're going in knowing that we're going to be massacred. Here's to heroic defeat, rather than the disgraceful slop that we're likely to be served up.
Next Life
I will be a French aristocrat who spends every cent of the family fortune on whores, brandy and having underlings ripped apart by horses. It will be spectacular.
BOG: Jones again
Round 3 vs Geelong
or "Highway To Hell"
Incidentally, on Hawkins, welcome to the Kent Kingsley Klub. A moderate player who will show up once a year and play a decent game against us. May as well get fitted for your Richmond jumper now son.
John Barnes is lucky that Andrew Jarman is still allowed near a microphone, because Jarman is the only person between JB and the title of "worst commentator in sports"
BOG: Bruce
Round 4 vs North Melbourne
or "Saturday Depression Session"
We are a team without skill. It's official. How do you get a job as an AFL footballer if you can't actually kick or handpass a ball? Draft me next year, I can't play for shit but at least with the 120+ rotations a game off the bench I might even have a chance of getting 20 good minutes before having a coronary
BOG: Green
Round 5 vs Carlton
or "Crazy For Feeling So Blue"
Rotations are all the rage this year, but now it's spread to the crowd as well. 10 girls showed up and sat in the same row as us, then spent the entire game getting up and leaving 3 times a quarter - including a minute into the 3rd quarter. What were you doing for half time? Watching Little League? Peanuts. At least they weren't wandering back with beers every five seconds like your typically drunken and stupid footy fan.
Round 6 vs Brisbane
or "It's Grim Up North"
Most of the time it looked as if Bailey was on his own in the coaches box. I'm surprised he didn't just walk out himself.
BOG: Bruce
Round 7 vs Fremantle
or "I Feel Love"
Meanwhile, in a special Demonblog message to Jeff Farmer I'd simply like to say. COP THAT YOU PRICK. I was looking straight at your lips when you said "look at the scoreboard to one of our guys during that last quarter". Well, for your benefit lets take another look at that scoreboard now. If you're waiting for the replay, look away now...
Round 8 vs Adelaide
or "Normal Service Has Been Resumed: Melbourne Football Club Apologises For Any Inconvenience"
Speaking of the rules everyone would have seen what a complete brothel the new interchange rule was. To recap you now need to fill in a slip, post it to the AFL c/o PO Box 2342 in your capital city, wait three weeks for a response, write a 2000 word essay on the influence of Marxist-Leninist thinking on Australian Politics and watch the entire first series of Birds Of A Feather twice before you can make any interchanges.
BOG: Davey
Round 9 vs Hawthorn
or "Someday This War's Gonna End"
What home crowd? Where was everybody. We were only farewelling one of our greatest ever players at a home game - what else did people need to get to the ground? Yet we would have been lucky to have 15,000 of the 40k crowd. It was an absolute disgrace. It's no wonder that when peanuts like Jeff Kennett say stupid things about clubs moving that a good deal of people think it's not such a bad idea.
BOG: Miller
Round 10 vs St. Kilda or "The Stephen Powell Memorial Shield" (special report by CaptainDavey)
At this point in time I would like to make mention of our ridiculously ridiculous looking clash kit. It has a design that looks as though it belonged on a netball kit. It actually made it difficult to determine which players were from which teams at some points, particularly in marking contests…But as soon as either Riewoldt, Koschitzke or the much heralded Matthew Ferguson emerged with the pill from marking contests it became painfully apparent which players were posing as AFL footballers and which players actually had any hand/eye coordination.
BOG: Bate
Round 11 vs Collingwood
or "Super Happy Fun Asia Report"
The only other guy in there who really cared was a Collingwood fan who, from his comments, was clearly only living there so that he could hit some serious ass. Make of that what you will - I thought he was disgrace but at least he admitted it.
BOG: Jones
Round 12 vs Richmond
or "Despair In The Dome" (special report by DaveyMagik)
Bar a great goal by Frosty to start the 2nd term we well and truly dropped the soap. We got shat on in midfield, whoever the fuck was on Deledio was doing a shit job and the Tigers were kicking goals at will. I'll just take a little time here to highlight the stupidity of some of their supporters. Not even Collingwood supporters are dumb enough to shout 'BALLLLLLLLL' when the opposition player is tackled as soon as they touch the ball, but the Tigers sure are.
BOG: Bruce
Round 13 vs Sydney
or "I See Red Hair" (Special report by McLean_4_Captain)
Not only did Bate come alive in the second quarter, the moisturising pair of Johnson & Johnson, both showed what we’ve been hoping to see from them all year.
BOG: Bate
Round 14 vs Brisbane
or "It's Miller Time"
23k. Looked like about 4500 at the first bounce but they came from somewhere. Again we were almost outdrawn by the away fans. And in case you were wondering, that was THE CELEBRATOR's dad sitting with Jim Stynes and not the exiled Zimbabwean opposition leader. Sorry Mr. CELEBRATOR.
Congratulations to the guy in front of me who insisted on calling Brisbane "the Roys" all day. Keep the dream alive sir - it certainly looked like a Fitzroy game crowd. Shame that he had to be an unsufferable crunt in the last quarter when Bradshaw kicked the 'winning' goal. Respect lost, sucked in hard.
BOG: Green
Round 15 vs Footscray
or "Stormy Weather"
When we first met the Dogs this season, in that farce of a practice match at Bendigo where the lights went out, I was convinced that they were a bottom three side. This is why I never claim to be a real analyst of football, but at least I can't be accused of bias considering I had us in there as well. Anyway, as we've all seen - to devestating effect in Round 2 - they are quite good actually and have only dropped 1.5 games this year. Well slap my ass and call me a bitch, I didn't see that one coming.
BOG: Garland
Round 16 vs Fremantle
or "Deathbed Football"
Five minutes into the second quarter Mark Jamar used one of his four kicks for the day to slot our sixth straight, and given that he's never had more than five kicks in a match it was surely an omen of good times to come. Bollocks it was. From that moment on it was a full scale mid-air emergency as Air Melbourne plummetted towards the ground at a million miles an hour, and all the deployed oxygen masks in the world weren't going to save us.
BOG: Johnson
Round 17 vs North Melbourne
or "Blue Sunday"
Simon Buckley is giving me the shits. Is there any danger that he might actually dispose of a ball one day instead of dancing about trying beat everyone like he's in a 1970's disco. You can't tell me that other clubs don't sit down, watch the video of us play and identify the fact that whenever he gets it he'll try and step his way out of it EVERY FREAKING TIME.
BOG: Valenti
Round 18 vs Essendon
or "And The Crowd Goes Absolutely Mild"
Cometh the second quarter, cometh some of the worst umpiring you are ever likely to see in your life. Get the tape of this one before the AFL go back and wipe it from the official record to spare themselves, and the family of the gentleman involved (one Mr. Fila I believe) shame and embarassment at having been connected to it. So, Cam Bruce takes a mark 50m out hard on the boundary line and his opponent holds onto him. Fifty! Err no apparently not. So he keeps holding onto him and dragging him forward. Any minute now they're going to pay the 50 or at least tell the Essendon player to piss off onto his mark and behave himself. Well, that didn't happen. Eventually Bruce was thrown free, at which point the other guy hit the ground and tackled him around the ankles. Play on! Get fucked!
Round 19 vs Geelong
or "Friday Night Follies"
From 0-0 at 4.22 of Q1, to 0-53 at 0.00 of Q2 I have rarely seen a more demoralising 25 minutes of football. We've had our share of last quarter fadeouts over the years, and the odd opening quarter of doom but never before have we looked so massively inept. Sure you're playing the best team in the land, but they're not making you handball it to the guy 25cm from you with two players almost already tackling him.
BOG: Whelan
Round 20 vs West Coast
or "Welcome to the Blunderdome"
The game was delayed for a couple of minutes after Beau Wilkes (who? Sounds like a sitcom character) pinballed off Maric (where pinball = was shoved by) into Jamar and was knocked into next week. Special J did absolutely nothing wrong but will probably get pinged for it anyway knowing the corrupt nature of the tribunal. After they'd dragged the lifeless carcass of Wilkes off (well, he was moving his hand..), we did our best to let the Eagles back into the game by allowing them to pepper the goals for the first fifteen minutes of the quarter.
BOG: Morton
Round 21 vs Port Adelaide
or "Another Victim of South Australian Serial Killers"
Blah, blah, blah we were shit. Blah, blah, blah maybe we'll be good in 2015. We lost, badly, it was a slopfest and thank christ next week we can wash our hands of this whole shithouse season and find something more important to do during summer.
BOG: Buckley
Round 22 vs Richmond
or "Three Retirements and a Funeral"
Eventually it was over and we got to wash our hands of this abortion of a year and get on with our lives. For all the wild celebrations by Richmond fans it needed to be pointed out that they'll be doing exactly the same thing we will be next week, and that their players will be scouting chicks in nightclubs not opponents in tactics sessions this week.
BOG: Whelan
Votes
29 - Cameron Bruce (WINNER: 2008 Allen Jakovich Medal for Player Of the Year)
27 - Brad Green
24 - Nathan Jones, James McDonald
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Matthew Bate
17 - Brad Miller
17 - Cale Morton (WINNER: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
14 - Lynden Dunn
14 - Matthew Whelan (WINNER: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
13 - Paul Johnson (WINNER: 2008 Strawbs O'Dwyer Medal for Ruckman of the Year)
12 - Colin Garland, Chris Johnson, Shane Valenti
11 - Aaron Davey, Simon Buckley
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram, Stefan Martin, Paul Wheatley, Adem Yze
3 - Nathan Carroll, Matthew Warnock, Jeff White
3 - Colin Sylvia
2 - Russell Robertson, Addam Maric
1 - Mark Jamar
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