Look down and live

In a huge week for Australia's female athletes shitting themselves, it's boo to North Melbourne for going a week early and ending their never-to-be-repeated 30 game winning streak before we could (let's just assume, now that it can't be tested) do it. Sure, it took them having to play in a Cairns sweatfest to finally reach the realisation that you can't keep winning forever, but as the only team in the league with a home ground that has its own weather pattern, I'm struggling to find sympathy for the two-time and counting defending premiers.

The other part of the Round 7 'All-Star Game' equation was that we had to keep winning too, which was no guarantee against a third place side, with wacky winds blowing diagonally across the ground. You might remember Carlton, not for recent unpleasantness involving our men's team, but as a side we last played in the AFLW just over FOUR seasons ago. Which is some of the most shambolic, half-arse scheduling in the history of professional sports. If you play 12 teams one year, how are the other five not the first written into the fixture for the following season? This would assume the AFL care, beyond pretending everything's going well because they rorted attendance figures with a couple of double headers.

The off-field may be as shambolic as ever, but no arguments about how our team is playing. Fans of other clubs, especially the ones destined to act as traffic cones for the rest of the league for years to come, can make their own judgements, this is the best football Melbourne AFLW has ever played. Whether it's good enough to overcome the Evil Empire in finals is TBD, but the ball movement is better than I've ever seen. Shame you've got to be a card-carrying enthusiast to even know the competition is on thanks to the minor issue of all the focus going to the men's finals. That ship has sailed, so the general public can amuse themselves by piffing bottles at umpires, I'm getting into the hope of converting quality footy into quality flag.

What the ladder looks like 50% through the season means chuff all for what happens at the end, but even after North stuffed up the blockbuster, I still really wanted to remain the only unbeaten side in the competition, even if it meant nothing to the big picture. That could've gone wrong quickly if Carlton had any idea how to play the local conditions. Casey remains a detriment to the game, but I'll accept the benefits in the interest of ongoing winning.

The magic and mystery of the Cranbourne Bureau of Meteorology was on full display when we opened with a Fitzsimon set shot that was going straight from 30 metres out, then swung so violently that it landed in the forward pocket without scoring. The atmosphere was not helped by some flange blowing a Vuvuzela in the crowd, but for reasons unknown we did have to hold the game up after a goal because a set of car keys were found in the middle of the ground. 

I understand how that could happen, but not how it could take so far into the game for anyone to notice. It was a bit of a bush-league incident, but fortunately the greatest game of AFL football ever played came along later that afternoon and ensured there was no room for key coverage. Maybe a disgruntled Hawthorn fan buried them in advance just in case they had a reason to sook about umpiring at the end of a game that hadn't started yet? Lucky a player didn't get injured, and hopefully the owner had to catch the bus home.

After a few Casey games where the wind was either not a serious factor or politely blew up and down the ground, you could tell how it was going to go from that first set shot. Carlton had the better of what advantage it did provide, and did bugger all with it. Instead, after they flubbed a couple of chances, we got the only goal of the first term when Hanks spelunked into a tackle and used her regional knowledge to steer the resulting free kick home.

The wind advantage seemed dubious when Carlton attacked first in the second quarter, but like a replay of last week, the visitors were wasteful and eventually paid the price. This time via a Gillard rocket run through the middle, which set up Austin's mark from a distance that any tricky crosswinds couldn't get hold of. This would count as the old "stick it up your old team" move, if she hadn't been good in every appearance so far this year. May have come in handy at the other end, but I'm sure the Blues will enjoy the second and third round picks they got in exchange.

This was nearly followed by another goal when Hanks belted straight out of the middle, but the wind was exposed as nothing worth getting excited over when Carlton kicked two in a row to take the lead. The first came via a hopeful snap from a pack, which survived a review that home viewers didn't get to see. So that means in three games at Casey this year we've had reviews, a) where the footage was shown but probably interpreted incorrectly, b) where the umpire just asked his colleagues if they had any objections, and c) where the full forward/rewind experience was conducted off-camera, while the players stood around waiting for the game to restart.

We almost let in three straight, only surviving because a handball failed to reach a player standing on her own inside 50. I was a bit worried, before Fitzsimon crumbed the shit out of a contest in front of goal to restore the half time lead. Still didn't make winning inevitable, as we didn't yet know that Carlton's quickfire double would be 66.66% of all their goals for the afternoon.

Then it was time to go whack, with four goals in a row making sure the Big Six would be achieved. O'Hehir opened her career account with what I'd describe as a 'lucky' kick if the other side did it, but becomes a moment of great skill simply due to being done by somebody in a Melbourne jumper. By the time Purcell was lobbing through back-to-back set shots, viewing of the live ladder was much appreciated.

Even after conceding a late goal, we were clearly going to win. Carlton helped make this a reality by failing to score in the final term. With the opposition now struggling for interest, we pinged away at will for 1.5. I'm almost certainly the only person on the planet who cares about fringe topics like AFLW jumper number records, but Jorja Livingstone enjoyed the rare feat of qualifying for the record books on debut, by opening the account for #40. 

God only knows why she's wearing it when we don't have numbers 34 through 39, but I couldn't be more supportive. In a league where a player gets about in #60 it hardly qualifies for cherished 'silly number' status, but I advise sticking with it and refusing any suggestions about changing to something lower. Mark Jamar is an All-Australian ahead in overall impact wearing the number, but the W games/goals double is just three games away, so double (digit) down and go for glory.           

Not for the first time this year, the point where there was nothing to play for except avoiding injuries was greeted by somebody getting injured. This time it was Campbell copping an elbow in the throat, and immediately having a couple of voms on the turf. Bad news for anyone else who left personal objects on the turf. Campbell has been very good this year, and with L. Pearce clearly winding up a great career there's a full time ruck job on offer for years to come, so hopefully this wasn't anything more than shock from an unexpected blow to a sensitive part of the anatomy. We haven't heard about a Gareth John-style career-altering larynx-shattering, so I take that as a good sign.

Other than that, and Tayla Harris ending the game with the 'injured' tag, this went about as well as you could hope for. Solid opposition dismissed without undue effort, and a warning to the competition that it may not be 12 rounds to find out who loses to North. It could still turn out that way, so the best thing to do is keep the good times rolling by metaphorically punching the bullies in the face on Friday night. 

2026 Daisy Pearce Medal votes
5 - Tyla Hanks
4 - Maeve Chaplin
3 - Olivia Purcell
2 - Kate Hore
1 - Shelley Heath-Barker

Apologies to Allen, Fitzsimon, Gillard, and Harris

Leaderboard
Exciting stuff at the top as the leaders open a full BOG lead over the trailing pack. Not much chance of a first-time winner this season, but we're set for a battle royale in the Defender award, as Chaplin becomes the third different leader for the season. And there remains as much chance of Allen being overtaken for the Rising Star as aliens participating in the Grand Final entertainment.

18 - Tyla Hanks
16 - Olivia Purcell
11 - Maeve Chaplin (LEADER: Defender of the Year)
9 - Kate Hore
8 - Tahlia Gillard 
7 - Eliza McNamara
6 - Jordyn Allen (LEADER: Rising Star Award), Tayla Harris
4 - Mia Austin
3 - Ryleigh Wotherspoon
1 - Georgia Campbell (LEADER: Ruck of the Year), Shelley Heath-Barker

Goal of the Week
For all the scoring this year, we're lacking any absolute blockbusters, but I'll have O'Hehir's debut goal as the new clubhouse leader for the season.

Next week
It's the biggest game of the year. And the next day there's a Grand Final on. We've played opposition between third and godforsaken, and it's all been leading up to the challenge of a team we had on the run early in last year's Prelim, but who otherwise walked over everyone until last week. Now they've had the big reset/reality check, and will likely be desperate to remind everyone to be scared of them. So it would be piss funny to win, and it's a live possibility, but let's not draw too much from them losing one game in the tropics.  

Final thoughts
Six of the best. Only 25 more to the record.