Last night the club rang me up (i.e somebody paid by the club to ring me up) to try and get me into the $200 raffle they're running at the moment. At the time I was of sound mind and realised I couldn't afford it. Then this morning I woke up and decided that I'd actually like to win $40,000 and handed over the cash.
Presumably I will win nothing, however if I do this site totally needs to sponsor some shit next year. What about a statue of Nathan Carroll kicking his one and only career goal in Round 2, 2006 against Footscray. We'll get it just at the moment where, after getting his 50m penalty to put him in range, he hit the wobbliest helicopter punt ever and it somehow went through.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Monday, 14 July 2008
Sunday, 13 July 2008
Stormy Weather
(Yeah, I know the roof was closed but in my heart it was pissing down)
Well, after a week off to do something important with our lives footy is back. Remember back to the glorious days of, err, a fortnight ago? We were in the winners circle and everything was looking up. Then as soon as you started to relax a bit it turned out that we were expected to show up and play the 2nd best team in the competition. Arse.
When we first met the Dogs this season, in that farce of a practice match at Bendigo where the lights went out, I was convinced that they were a bottom three side. This is why I never claim to be a real analyst of football, but at least I can't be accused of bias considering I had us in there as well. Anyway, as we've all seen - to devestating effect in Round 2 - they are quite good actually and have only dropped 1.5 games this year. Well slap my ass and call me a bitch, I didn't see that one coming. So, they're quite good. Obviously we were always going to lose so I chose to invoke the "Mercado/Gary Davies from TAB Sportsbet Plan" where the degree of success/respectability in a loss is measured on whether or not we beat the point spread. This week it was +42.5 points, so that was the target.
To be entirely honest the game was so freaking awful that I'm struggling to remember much of what happened. It was one of those days where the top side shows up, never gets out of first gear, gives their fans a bit of a scare and then do just enough to fall over the line because the rotten side don't have the tools to match them. The first quarter was eminently forgettable, mainly due to the fact that we didn't freaking score until the last minute. However, despite the fact that we were generally getting slaughtered out of the middle despite Jamar usually having first touch, we weren't completely blown out of the water early on. Credit for this must go to the defence who have been outstanding over the past few weeks. One of these days Garland, Warnock, Martin and Whelan (Rivers? Consult your local emergency department unfortunately) might earn the right to be called The New Jurassic Pack. Now that the last one has broken up and Nathan Carroll is preparing to take his wacky haircut world tour to the arenas of the WAFL, the much maligned likes of Warnock and Garland have stepped right into the breach and are probably our most important element while we're unable to kick massive scores.
So, with the midfield average at best in the first (Jones turning over everything he got his hands on) and the defenders holding it all together what about the forwards? What forwards? Miller was doing great work when it hit the deck but god forbid anyone could manage to find him as a target? Green was down there early on for some reason and couldn't get any of it either. Sylvia started up front but was soon thrust into the midfield. Can we just get over this wet dream of him being an elite midfielder already? It's not going to happen. Wonaeamirri seemed to have deliberately been sent up the ground and was taking a lot of marks 60 or 70 metres out from goal - and that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing because if you've got one trick and everyone else discovers it then you're rooted.
Speaking of people who might be a bit short in the trick department let's discuss the case of one Michael J. Newton. On the strength of the first quarter alone I found myself hoping that the car he won (well, won the use of anyway) for the 2007 Mark of the Year has a sweet Sat Nav system so that he can find his way to the nearest Centrelink on the first Tuesday after the season ends. Actually let's make it Wednesday, because you can't expect anyone to drive the day after Mad Monday. It's one thing to be a forward and not get a touch at all, but it's another to get the pill and botch things so seriously that even in a season where we're rivalling Fitzroy 1996 for ineptitute you get a bronx cheer from our own supporters when you finally get something right. Ok, so he was getting the ball 50m out on the boundary line but after first trying to square one into what was basically a team meeting of Bulldogs players, he then marked again in the same spot, burnt Sylvia on a lead and proceeded to thump it out on the full. Sad. We all had high hopes for him (well, medium level hopes anyway) based on the second half of last season but frankly he's just not going to make it. His most important goal should be to play two more matches for the rest of the season so he can overtake Leigh Newton's 13 games to be our most famous Juice ever. He redeemed himself - a bit - later on with a couple of marks and a goal but if he's the future then I'm a busty supermodel.
Anyway, so somehow we went into the second quarter within striking range. Didn't last long. When Will Minson, the king of slops, is marking over you and kicking goals you know it's not your day. They got the first two before Chris Johnson scored a cheap fifty to kick his first career goal and cut the margin to 20. Buckley and Green both added one, but Cross and Akermanis cancelled them out and we were a goal worse off than we were at quarter time but still hanging on and not getting blown out of the water.
Green got his second in the first couple of minutes of the third and you thought "well, maybe we could..." and then in true Melbourne fashion we failed to add another one for the quarter. Here's to a big 2.4 to that end (Coventry?) for the day. There was a lot of to and fro but the fact of the matter was that Footscray are a highly tuned outfit operating at a much higher capacity than we were. When they turned it over we'd usually give it straight back or kick it to an unrealistic contest (SHANE VALENTI IS 3 FOOT TALL, STOP EXPECTING HIM TO TAKE PACK MARKS AGAINST 2 OPPONENTS!) When we gave it to them they had players running everywhere. Unfortunately even though we had Johnson and Murphy well shut down they are a team with about 20 other players who can kick goals. We are a team who are lucky to have two people who have kicked twenty for the season. It didn't help that the likes of Bate, Jones and Wheatley were just throwing the ball on the boot with no concern about where it would actually go. The answer was usually "to the opposition".
Seven goals down at the last change and it was more a case of hoping to break even in the final term and avoid the Dogs running riot and kicking 15. We gifted them a few rushed behinds and both Buckley and Newton missed shots but it was basically junk time from the first bounce. From the time Mitch Hahn kicked a goal to extend the margin to almost 50 seven or eight minutes in the Dogs shut up shop, put their feet on the table and started smoking a fat cigar. Somewhere Robbo was shedding a tear that there was so much junk time that he wouldn't be able to run riot in. Newton finally got one - and thank god because I would run out there with the appropriate paperwork myself if he hadn't and Miller kicked our last three to make it a respectable 31 point loss. The spread was beaten - let the children of the town rejoice, and we were lucky enough to hear the Dogs theme song which still appears to have been recorded by a pissweak ska band fronted by a 75-year-old lead singer.
Let's be honest about all of this. We're a shit side, but there's a future. Today we were a ten goal better side than the one that they massacred in Round 2. Since March 29 we have seen the likes of Carroll, Yze, Weetra and White shelved. Some perhaps more permanently than others. We've also discovered that Garland can play, Dunn can tag, Green is a leader, Miller can be a presence up front and that THE CELEBRATOR and Valenti have been hits from the rookie list. This isn't the same team it was in Round 2 and thank god for that. Either we're going to look back on these years in a decade and say it was where we built for success, or we're going to look back and go "ahh, that's why the whole team went tits up and the club is now playing in the Tasmanian League". Either or - let's just get on with it already.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
I feel like I'm being controversial with these. Please direct your abusive comments to our customer feedback department c/o the third wheely bin on the left outside the Ponsford Stand.
5 - Colin Garland (Safe as houses down back. More please)
4 - Lynden Dunn (Tagged Cooney to buggery. An angry young man)
3 - Cameron Bruce (He was always there and racked up 35 touches, but how many times were they actually worth anything?)
2 - Chris Johnson (Still butchering it sometimes, but playing with enormous confidence)
1 - Stefan Martin (Showed a shitload of poise in contests for a second gamer)
Apologies to Wonaeamirri (deliberately further up the ground?), Green, Miller, Jamar (rocking along at 1 kick a game but doing alright in the centre), Whelan, Valenti and Buckley
No apologies to Jones who couldn't hit the side of a barn for most of the day. And yes, I am biased towards defenders so there's no need to make a point of it. All I'll say is that how come none of them have ever won the Jakovich Medal then? Oh, because they've all been shit for years you say? Good point.
Draft Watch
Today's game tilted me even further away from Naitanui. Don't give me this bollocks about having a "marquee player". Do you seriously think that any of our alleged 'fans' who have lapsed over the last couple of seasons are going to come back just to watch some guy who can jump a mile and has a novelty haircut? He might turn out to be the best player ever for all I know but the last thing we need at the moment is a project player. Today says to me we need a key forward.
I think I've mentioned this before. What if we finish 16th, Freo finish 15th and we trade the #1 pick to them for the #2 pick and Warnock. Then we still have 1st pick in the Pre-Season draft and haven't really lost out. Of course the chances of anyone who isn't West Coast finishing last at the moment are slim to none, but you never know. Maybe you could pull the same kind of scam with them and throw Warnock in as part of some hot threeway deal. Or you could just do what everyone else does in trade week and sit in a room eating biscuits for four days and then try to make 17 trades in the last five minutes and have them all collapse because the fax machine at AFL House is too busy.
Leaderboard
Strangely enough I think Green is probably still morally the winner of this award. I don't know if that proves that the voting system is flawed or that I'm watching games on crack.
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
21 - Cameron Bruce
20 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
12 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Lynden Dunn
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brad Miller
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
7 - Chris Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
1 - Stefan Martin
Religious Affairs Department
Bishop, please take your hand off my knee. Also it was great to see some guy in some sort of Montreal Catholic Church jacket (Le Church?) also sporting a Demons beanie. You'd think if you knew nothing and were coming from overseas for a massive god type convention that you'd automatically pick the Saints. Just proves how shithouse St.Kilda are in the grand scheme of things that they've had such a tragic history that even religious types won't back them.
Kaptaincy Korner
What price will you give me on a Bruce/Green joint ticket? You heard it here first - even if I did make it up.
Laughing Stock League
13. Port Adelaide (falling from grace and abandoned by fans. Choco Williams' head to explode by Round 22)
14. Melbourne (brave but shit)
15. West Coast (rotten, but at least they have a glorious past)
16. Fremantle (projected to jump at least one spot after next week)
Next Week
Freo in Perth. They're shit aren't they? Guess what kid, the moment we travel any further west than Telstra Dome so are we. Home win.
Well, after a week off to do something important with our lives footy is back. Remember back to the glorious days of, err, a fortnight ago? We were in the winners circle and everything was looking up. Then as soon as you started to relax a bit it turned out that we were expected to show up and play the 2nd best team in the competition. Arse.
When we first met the Dogs this season, in that farce of a practice match at Bendigo where the lights went out, I was convinced that they were a bottom three side. This is why I never claim to be a real analyst of football, but at least I can't be accused of bias considering I had us in there as well. Anyway, as we've all seen - to devestating effect in Round 2 - they are quite good actually and have only dropped 1.5 games this year. Well slap my ass and call me a bitch, I didn't see that one coming. So, they're quite good. Obviously we were always going to lose so I chose to invoke the "Mercado/Gary Davies from TAB Sportsbet Plan" where the degree of success/respectability in a loss is measured on whether or not we beat the point spread. This week it was +42.5 points, so that was the target.
To be entirely honest the game was so freaking awful that I'm struggling to remember much of what happened. It was one of those days where the top side shows up, never gets out of first gear, gives their fans a bit of a scare and then do just enough to fall over the line because the rotten side don't have the tools to match them. The first quarter was eminently forgettable, mainly due to the fact that we didn't freaking score until the last minute. However, despite the fact that we were generally getting slaughtered out of the middle despite Jamar usually having first touch, we weren't completely blown out of the water early on. Credit for this must go to the defence who have been outstanding over the past few weeks. One of these days Garland, Warnock, Martin and Whelan (Rivers? Consult your local emergency department unfortunately) might earn the right to be called The New Jurassic Pack. Now that the last one has broken up and Nathan Carroll is preparing to take his wacky haircut world tour to the arenas of the WAFL, the much maligned likes of Warnock and Garland have stepped right into the breach and are probably our most important element while we're unable to kick massive scores.
So, with the midfield average at best in the first (Jones turning over everything he got his hands on) and the defenders holding it all together what about the forwards? What forwards? Miller was doing great work when it hit the deck but god forbid anyone could manage to find him as a target? Green was down there early on for some reason and couldn't get any of it either. Sylvia started up front but was soon thrust into the midfield. Can we just get over this wet dream of him being an elite midfielder already? It's not going to happen. Wonaeamirri seemed to have deliberately been sent up the ground and was taking a lot of marks 60 or 70 metres out from goal - and that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing because if you've got one trick and everyone else discovers it then you're rooted.
Speaking of people who might be a bit short in the trick department let's discuss the case of one Michael J. Newton. On the strength of the first quarter alone I found myself hoping that the car he won (well, won the use of anyway) for the 2007 Mark of the Year has a sweet Sat Nav system so that he can find his way to the nearest Centrelink on the first Tuesday after the season ends. Actually let's make it Wednesday, because you can't expect anyone to drive the day after Mad Monday. It's one thing to be a forward and not get a touch at all, but it's another to get the pill and botch things so seriously that even in a season where we're rivalling Fitzroy 1996 for ineptitute you get a bronx cheer from our own supporters when you finally get something right. Ok, so he was getting the ball 50m out on the boundary line but after first trying to square one into what was basically a team meeting of Bulldogs players, he then marked again in the same spot, burnt Sylvia on a lead and proceeded to thump it out on the full. Sad. We all had high hopes for him (well, medium level hopes anyway) based on the second half of last season but frankly he's just not going to make it. His most important goal should be to play two more matches for the rest of the season so he can overtake Leigh Newton's 13 games to be our most famous Juice ever. He redeemed himself - a bit - later on with a couple of marks and a goal but if he's the future then I'm a busty supermodel.
Anyway, so somehow we went into the second quarter within striking range. Didn't last long. When Will Minson, the king of slops, is marking over you and kicking goals you know it's not your day. They got the first two before Chris Johnson scored a cheap fifty to kick his first career goal and cut the margin to 20. Buckley and Green both added one, but Cross and Akermanis cancelled them out and we were a goal worse off than we were at quarter time but still hanging on and not getting blown out of the water.
Green got his second in the first couple of minutes of the third and you thought "well, maybe we could..." and then in true Melbourne fashion we failed to add another one for the quarter. Here's to a big 2.4 to that end (Coventry?) for the day. There was a lot of to and fro but the fact of the matter was that Footscray are a highly tuned outfit operating at a much higher capacity than we were. When they turned it over we'd usually give it straight back or kick it to an unrealistic contest (SHANE VALENTI IS 3 FOOT TALL, STOP EXPECTING HIM TO TAKE PACK MARKS AGAINST 2 OPPONENTS!) When we gave it to them they had players running everywhere. Unfortunately even though we had Johnson and Murphy well shut down they are a team with about 20 other players who can kick goals. We are a team who are lucky to have two people who have kicked twenty for the season. It didn't help that the likes of Bate, Jones and Wheatley were just throwing the ball on the boot with no concern about where it would actually go. The answer was usually "to the opposition".
Seven goals down at the last change and it was more a case of hoping to break even in the final term and avoid the Dogs running riot and kicking 15. We gifted them a few rushed behinds and both Buckley and Newton missed shots but it was basically junk time from the first bounce. From the time Mitch Hahn kicked a goal to extend the margin to almost 50 seven or eight minutes in the Dogs shut up shop, put their feet on the table and started smoking a fat cigar. Somewhere Robbo was shedding a tear that there was so much junk time that he wouldn't be able to run riot in. Newton finally got one - and thank god because I would run out there with the appropriate paperwork myself if he hadn't and Miller kicked our last three to make it a respectable 31 point loss. The spread was beaten - let the children of the town rejoice, and we were lucky enough to hear the Dogs theme song which still appears to have been recorded by a pissweak ska band fronted by a 75-year-old lead singer.
Let's be honest about all of this. We're a shit side, but there's a future. Today we were a ten goal better side than the one that they massacred in Round 2. Since March 29 we have seen the likes of Carroll, Yze, Weetra and White shelved. Some perhaps more permanently than others. We've also discovered that Garland can play, Dunn can tag, Green is a leader, Miller can be a presence up front and that THE CELEBRATOR and Valenti have been hits from the rookie list. This isn't the same team it was in Round 2 and thank god for that. Either we're going to look back on these years in a decade and say it was where we built for success, or we're going to look back and go "ahh, that's why the whole team went tits up and the club is now playing in the Tasmanian League". Either or - let's just get on with it already.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
I feel like I'm being controversial with these. Please direct your abusive comments to our customer feedback department c/o the third wheely bin on the left outside the Ponsford Stand.
5 - Colin Garland (Safe as houses down back. More please)
4 - Lynden Dunn (Tagged Cooney to buggery. An angry young man)
3 - Cameron Bruce (He was always there and racked up 35 touches, but how many times were they actually worth anything?)
2 - Chris Johnson (Still butchering it sometimes, but playing with enormous confidence)
1 - Stefan Martin (Showed a shitload of poise in contests for a second gamer)
Apologies to Wonaeamirri (deliberately further up the ground?), Green, Miller, Jamar (rocking along at 1 kick a game but doing alright in the centre), Whelan, Valenti and Buckley
No apologies to Jones who couldn't hit the side of a barn for most of the day. And yes, I am biased towards defenders so there's no need to make a point of it. All I'll say is that how come none of them have ever won the Jakovich Medal then? Oh, because they've all been shit for years you say? Good point.
Draft Watch
Today's game tilted me even further away from Naitanui. Don't give me this bollocks about having a "marquee player". Do you seriously think that any of our alleged 'fans' who have lapsed over the last couple of seasons are going to come back just to watch some guy who can jump a mile and has a novelty haircut? He might turn out to be the best player ever for all I know but the last thing we need at the moment is a project player. Today says to me we need a key forward.
I think I've mentioned this before. What if we finish 16th, Freo finish 15th and we trade the #1 pick to them for the #2 pick and Warnock. Then we still have 1st pick in the Pre-Season draft and haven't really lost out. Of course the chances of anyone who isn't West Coast finishing last at the moment are slim to none, but you never know. Maybe you could pull the same kind of scam with them and throw Warnock in as part of some hot threeway deal. Or you could just do what everyone else does in trade week and sit in a room eating biscuits for four days and then try to make 17 trades in the last five minutes and have them all collapse because the fax machine at AFL House is too busy.
Leaderboard
Strangely enough I think Green is probably still morally the winner of this award. I don't know if that proves that the voting system is flawed or that I'm watching games on crack.
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
21 - Cameron Bruce
20 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
12 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Lynden Dunn
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brad Miller
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
7 - Chris Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
1 - Stefan Martin
Religious Affairs Department
Bishop, please take your hand off my knee. Also it was great to see some guy in some sort of Montreal Catholic Church jacket (Le Church?) also sporting a Demons beanie. You'd think if you knew nothing and were coming from overseas for a massive god type convention that you'd automatically pick the Saints. Just proves how shithouse St.Kilda are in the grand scheme of things that they've had such a tragic history that even religious types won't back them.
Kaptaincy Korner
What price will you give me on a Bruce/Green joint ticket? You heard it here first - even if I did make it up.
Laughing Stock League
13. Port Adelaide (falling from grace and abandoned by fans. Choco Williams' head to explode by Round 22)
14. Melbourne (brave but shit)
15. West Coast (rotten, but at least they have a glorious past)
16. Fremantle (projected to jump at least one spot after next week)
Next Week
Freo in Perth. They're shit aren't they? Guess what kid, the moment we travel any further west than Telstra Dome so are we. Home win.
Sunday, 29 June 2008
It's Miller Time
Well, I'm back. Welcome to Australia and all that. Luckily they didn't find what I had strapped to my lower instestine and I got through customs in time to see yet another in a long series of insipid performances and losses. Hold on? What do you mean we won? Oh, that's right you heard me - WE WON A FREAKING GAME! AGAINST A TEAM WHO NOT A COMPLETE BASKET CASE LIKE FREO! Remember when that used to happen a lot? Me neither, Queen's Birthday last year was the last time we rolled a team that was even halfway entrenched in the top 8.
All I wanted was a consistent four quarter effort, and to avoid going five goals down in the first five minutes like last week. When Brown outmanoeuvred Warnock in the square 45 seconds in for the first goal it looked as if it was going to be a long, long, long day. I don't know about you but every time a gun opposition forward kicks a goal early I start to have visions of Tony Modra banging home 10 against us in 1999. Strangely enough when one of our players gets on a roll I don't often think the same thing.
So, when the first quarter ended and Brad Miller had three goals in a 19pt lead I thought that we could only go backwards. After his early goal Brown was well held, and Garland had Bradshaw under control but it was always threatening to explode in our faces and end in tragedy. In reality the early success of our backline owed far more to the midfield than it did to anyone else. Jamar and Johnson were breaking even in the centre and the likes of McLean, Dunn and Jones were doing enough to keep the ball out of the Brisbane forward 50. Jones, however, botched pretty much every kick he had in the first half so don't come here expecting to see me singing his praises even if he is still winning our player of the year.
When Sylvia kicked his second five minutes into the second even I, the most negative bastard alive, started to wonder whether we might be primed for an upset. The next couple of minutes were spent hammering the Brisbane defence with little reward other than a Miller missed set shot. Then suddenly the ball was down the other end, the umpires were pulling dubious free kicks out of their arse and we'd copped three goals in three minutes. Somewhere in the mix of all this Brock McLean went down like he'd been shot and I'm sure everyone had the same minor nervous breakdown as me. Luckily The Brock looks injury in the face and spits because he'd return after half time.
We were almost gifted a goal late in the second when the Lions botched their interchange and Paul Wheatley was given a set shot 40m out directly in front. Despite that farcical set play that they insist on doing where he tries to bury one from outside 50 (it's worked about twice in five years) you'd hardly have him kicking for your life and he butchered it. That said it all about our day to that point really, the chance to put Brisbane away handed to us on a platter and botched. We hadn't really played much of a second quarter, but thanks to Brisbane fumbling several chances to add more goals at the end of the quarter we were still in front. Special mention, if you will, to Jonathan Brown's last attempt which hit the post with such force that I was hoping it'd snap off and fly straight into the Lions cheersquad.
So, half time and a three point lead. We've led at halftime this year (once maybe - including practice matches), but against a team with the twin towers of terror Brown and Bradshaw up front, a team who had flogged us by ten goals about two months ago you had the feeling that we couldn't possibly hold on. Who was going to kick the goals? Garland and Warnock were battling hard in defence, with Whelan providing a vintage game to assist them and Brad Green was constantly appearing on the last line of defence taking saving marks but could we plug the flow enough to hold on? Or would it be another repeat of the Hawthorn game where the lesser lights of their forward line dragged them over the line while we couldn't kick a winning score.
Of course it wasn't just the increased effort on our behalf that helped us to a winning position. Brisbane served up a kicking efficiency of 55%, and that's even without the allegedly laser-like disposal of Travis Johnstone (© some crackheads on the Melbourne forums) assisting them. To put it simply they were shit. We certainly applied the same sort of good pressure that we've shown in patches since the Hawthorn match, but clearly the Lions didn't turn up to play and it cost them. Their record on the MCG since they lost that Grand Final to Port has been abysmal, and they showed why today.
Chris Johnson was going nuts racking up possessions around the defensive 50. He botched a few, and fell victim to a handful of smothers but it was easily his best game yet. The most important factor was that he played with a confidence that most of our side have been lacking so far this year. Yes we seriously overused the ball at times today and caused turnovers, but at the same time some of the running football was enough to make a man crack half a Ballarat. If that's what Bailey wants this team to do then he's got my vote. Also worth a mention is Lynden Dunn who did another great tagging job - who saw that coming a couple of years ago when he was wandering around in the forward line?
So, the first six minutes of the third were your standard arm-wrestle. At least we didn't roll over and die like many (me?) had expected. We finally got our own dodgy decision from the umpires when Bate was paid one right in front of goal, and despite doing his best to miss it extended the margin again. Thank you Melbourne, enough teasing now just lose already. Oh, Bruce has kicked one? And Sylvia too? I'm excited! Brisbane also kicked an obvious point that was ruled out on the full - that won't come back to play a part will it? Surely not. Just when it looked like we were a chance of burning the Lions off again we copped two late goals to cut the margin back to eight points at the last change. Tense? Nervous? You bet. Had I been sitting next to one of these "Oh we must lose so we can have #1 pick!" clowns I probably would have punched them in the face.
So, Q4 then. We copped the first goal, then Green replied, then Brown came to life and kicked two to put the Roys/Bears/Lions in front for the first time since the 9 minute mark of the first quarter. Handshakes all around and a quiet departure? Bollocks to that, Col Sylvia bobbed up for his 4th to put us in front before THE CELEBRATOR kicked his 2nd to make it a bit more comfortable. Then of course we died in the arse again - questionable umpiring aside (HOW DO YOU NOT SEE AARON DAVEY GET BELTED YOU CRUNTS?) Brown and Bradshaw x2 goaled to put us away for good. Old mate in front of me relaxed and stretched out waiting for the final siren, then as the minutes ticked past 30 and those without radios started to have a bit of a cry Cam Bruce walked through half the Brisbane defence, told Dunn to get out of the way and kicked the wobbliest goal you'll ever see in your life to get us back into it. Four minutes of hammering the line later a long ball dropped into the square and Miller of all people took a corker of a mark to put us in front.
Cue 2 minutes and 45 seconds of wild scenes as Brisbane got the ball inside 50, forced a boundary throw-in and a ball-up and still couldn't even jag a point to force a draw. The last bounce was with fifteen seconds left and you could just see another heartbreaker coming our way, then somehow the ball came out to the CELEBRATOR who looked up, saw nobody in front of him and went to the races before flipping a handball over the top to BOG Brad Green who was just beaten by the siren as he kicked the goal. In the end it's probably more romantic to have won by 1 instead of 7, but Green definately deserved a second goal - he has been unbelievable this year and surely must get a run as captain next season.
Of course what we lack is an absolute out-and-out superstar. Oh for a Jonathan Brown up front. Even when he wasn't getting the ball he was scaring the shit out of us. The lack of an insane marquee forward like Brown, Pavlich, Fev or Franklin was the only reason that we had to scrap so hard to beat a team that was desperately trying to hand us the match on a platter. Oh for a Neitz 2002-05 slotted into today's lineup, just throwing bastards out of the way and kicking goals. Well, get used to it kids because that's our lot for the rest of the year - Miller has improved out of sight, and Sylvia is showing a bit as a forward at last but we will struggle to kick goals so the emergence of Warnock (beaten by Brown, but not humiliated), Garland (good again) and Martin (solid first game) will be important to any success we're going to have for the rest of the season.
Injury Watch
Saw Brent Moloney with his arm in a sling. Didn't think it was appropriate to point out that his Facebook profile picture makes me him look like he's off his chops (hey, we share a friend ok?) in case he swatted me with the good hand and injured that as well. Or pulled his groin, which is always a danger when he's involved.
Draft Watch
Theoretically this means we might not finish last. As it stands I think we'll beat West Coast, and have a good chance of knocking over Essendon. What does it all mean? Well it means we might be conceding the number 1 pick to West Coast or Fremantle. Does it really matter? If you can't get a gun with one of the top 3 picks then you're on crack or you're Craig Cameron. Which brings us neatly into...
Ruck Watch
Jamar played most of the game in the centre and held his own, while Johnson pinch hit in the ruck and did some great work around the ground (How good was that chasedown and tackle?) Do we still need Jeff White? I think we do, however is there any merit in playing him in the forward line predominantly over the next few weeks? We still need a ruckman, which is what might end up landing us Naitanui anyway even if there are a couple of key position forward prospects pushing into the top 5 selections. There's some talk about getting Warnock from Freo, and now that it appears his brother will buy himself at least one more year on the list that might be a goer. As it stands Johnson is so vastly improved that his spot on the list is cemented, White probably has one more year left in him and Jamar is wobbling IF we can land another ruck. Watch this space.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Brad Green (Our foremost practioner of what the Dutch would call Total Football)
4 - Matthew Whelan (Back to his best, adding composure and poise to an inexperienced backline)
3 - Brad Miller (Playing the football of his life. Confidence is high.)
2 - Chris Johnson (33 touches but plenty in the second half that were butchered. Great to see him have the confidence to be the go to man though)
1 - Paul Johnson (Probably our breakout player of the season so far)
Massive apologies to Sylvia and Wheatley who deserved a point or two but couldn't get a run. You might argue Sylvia to replace Johnson, but in the balance of things I thought Johnno was damaging right across the ground which just nudged him in front of Colin.
Moderate apologies to Bate, Bruce, Davey, Dunn, Garland, Jamar (1 kick, 11 handballs! 25 hitouts though and certainly didn't have his colors lowered) and THE CELEBRATOR.
Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
20 - Brad Green
18 - Cameron Bruce
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brad Miller
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
7 - Lynden Dunn
7 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
5 - Chris Johnson
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Laughing Stock League
Haven't had one of these for a while, I'd say it looks a bit like this at the moment
13. Port Adelaide
14. Melbourne
15. Fremantle
16. West Coast
Essendon the big movers, and how good is it to be out of the bottom two on at least one ladder?
Crowd Watch
23k. Looked like about 4500 at the first bounce but they came from somewhere. Again we were almost outdrawn by the away fans. And in case you were wondering, that was THE CELEBRATOR's dad sitting with Jim Stynes and not the exiled Zimbabwean opposition leader. Sorry Mr. CELEBRATOR.
Congratulations to the guy in front of me who insisted on calling Brisbane "the Roys" all day. Keep the dream alive sir - it certainly looked like a Fitzroy game crowd. Shame that he had to be an unsufferable crunt in the last quarter when Bradshaw kicked the 'winning' goal. Respect lost, sucked in hard.
Next Week
Nothing. Funny how we've won two games this year and had a week off afterwards both times. After that top of the table Footscray - hoorah! That'll be a test.
All I wanted was a consistent four quarter effort, and to avoid going five goals down in the first five minutes like last week. When Brown outmanoeuvred Warnock in the square 45 seconds in for the first goal it looked as if it was going to be a long, long, long day. I don't know about you but every time a gun opposition forward kicks a goal early I start to have visions of Tony Modra banging home 10 against us in 1999. Strangely enough when one of our players gets on a roll I don't often think the same thing.
So, when the first quarter ended and Brad Miller had three goals in a 19pt lead I thought that we could only go backwards. After his early goal Brown was well held, and Garland had Bradshaw under control but it was always threatening to explode in our faces and end in tragedy. In reality the early success of our backline owed far more to the midfield than it did to anyone else. Jamar and Johnson were breaking even in the centre and the likes of McLean, Dunn and Jones were doing enough to keep the ball out of the Brisbane forward 50. Jones, however, botched pretty much every kick he had in the first half so don't come here expecting to see me singing his praises even if he is still winning our player of the year.
When Sylvia kicked his second five minutes into the second even I, the most negative bastard alive, started to wonder whether we might be primed for an upset. The next couple of minutes were spent hammering the Brisbane defence with little reward other than a Miller missed set shot. Then suddenly the ball was down the other end, the umpires were pulling dubious free kicks out of their arse and we'd copped three goals in three minutes. Somewhere in the mix of all this Brock McLean went down like he'd been shot and I'm sure everyone had the same minor nervous breakdown as me. Luckily The Brock looks injury in the face and spits because he'd return after half time.
We were almost gifted a goal late in the second when the Lions botched their interchange and Paul Wheatley was given a set shot 40m out directly in front. Despite that farcical set play that they insist on doing where he tries to bury one from outside 50 (it's worked about twice in five years) you'd hardly have him kicking for your life and he butchered it. That said it all about our day to that point really, the chance to put Brisbane away handed to us on a platter and botched. We hadn't really played much of a second quarter, but thanks to Brisbane fumbling several chances to add more goals at the end of the quarter we were still in front. Special mention, if you will, to Jonathan Brown's last attempt which hit the post with such force that I was hoping it'd snap off and fly straight into the Lions cheersquad.
So, half time and a three point lead. We've led at halftime this year (once maybe - including practice matches), but against a team with the twin towers of terror Brown and Bradshaw up front, a team who had flogged us by ten goals about two months ago you had the feeling that we couldn't possibly hold on. Who was going to kick the goals? Garland and Warnock were battling hard in defence, with Whelan providing a vintage game to assist them and Brad Green was constantly appearing on the last line of defence taking saving marks but could we plug the flow enough to hold on? Or would it be another repeat of the Hawthorn game where the lesser lights of their forward line dragged them over the line while we couldn't kick a winning score.
Of course it wasn't just the increased effort on our behalf that helped us to a winning position. Brisbane served up a kicking efficiency of 55%, and that's even without the allegedly laser-like disposal of Travis Johnstone (© some crackheads on the Melbourne forums) assisting them. To put it simply they were shit. We certainly applied the same sort of good pressure that we've shown in patches since the Hawthorn match, but clearly the Lions didn't turn up to play and it cost them. Their record on the MCG since they lost that Grand Final to Port has been abysmal, and they showed why today.
Chris Johnson was going nuts racking up possessions around the defensive 50. He botched a few, and fell victim to a handful of smothers but it was easily his best game yet. The most important factor was that he played with a confidence that most of our side have been lacking so far this year. Yes we seriously overused the ball at times today and caused turnovers, but at the same time some of the running football was enough to make a man crack half a Ballarat. If that's what Bailey wants this team to do then he's got my vote. Also worth a mention is Lynden Dunn who did another great tagging job - who saw that coming a couple of years ago when he was wandering around in the forward line?
So, the first six minutes of the third were your standard arm-wrestle. At least we didn't roll over and die like many (me?) had expected. We finally got our own dodgy decision from the umpires when Bate was paid one right in front of goal, and despite doing his best to miss it extended the margin again. Thank you Melbourne, enough teasing now just lose already. Oh, Bruce has kicked one? And Sylvia too? I'm excited! Brisbane also kicked an obvious point that was ruled out on the full - that won't come back to play a part will it? Surely not. Just when it looked like we were a chance of burning the Lions off again we copped two late goals to cut the margin back to eight points at the last change. Tense? Nervous? You bet. Had I been sitting next to one of these "Oh we must lose so we can have #1 pick!" clowns I probably would have punched them in the face.
So, Q4 then. We copped the first goal, then Green replied, then Brown came to life and kicked two to put the Roys/Bears/Lions in front for the first time since the 9 minute mark of the first quarter. Handshakes all around and a quiet departure? Bollocks to that, Col Sylvia bobbed up for his 4th to put us in front before THE CELEBRATOR kicked his 2nd to make it a bit more comfortable. Then of course we died in the arse again - questionable umpiring aside (HOW DO YOU NOT SEE AARON DAVEY GET BELTED YOU CRUNTS?) Brown and Bradshaw x2 goaled to put us away for good. Old mate in front of me relaxed and stretched out waiting for the final siren, then as the minutes ticked past 30 and those without radios started to have a bit of a cry Cam Bruce walked through half the Brisbane defence, told Dunn to get out of the way and kicked the wobbliest goal you'll ever see in your life to get us back into it. Four minutes of hammering the line later a long ball dropped into the square and Miller of all people took a corker of a mark to put us in front.
Cue 2 minutes and 45 seconds of wild scenes as Brisbane got the ball inside 50, forced a boundary throw-in and a ball-up and still couldn't even jag a point to force a draw. The last bounce was with fifteen seconds left and you could just see another heartbreaker coming our way, then somehow the ball came out to the CELEBRATOR who looked up, saw nobody in front of him and went to the races before flipping a handball over the top to BOG Brad Green who was just beaten by the siren as he kicked the goal. In the end it's probably more romantic to have won by 1 instead of 7, but Green definately deserved a second goal - he has been unbelievable this year and surely must get a run as captain next season.
Of course what we lack is an absolute out-and-out superstar. Oh for a Jonathan Brown up front. Even when he wasn't getting the ball he was scaring the shit out of us. The lack of an insane marquee forward like Brown, Pavlich, Fev or Franklin was the only reason that we had to scrap so hard to beat a team that was desperately trying to hand us the match on a platter. Oh for a Neitz 2002-05 slotted into today's lineup, just throwing bastards out of the way and kicking goals. Well, get used to it kids because that's our lot for the rest of the year - Miller has improved out of sight, and Sylvia is showing a bit as a forward at last but we will struggle to kick goals so the emergence of Warnock (beaten by Brown, but not humiliated), Garland (good again) and Martin (solid first game) will be important to any success we're going to have for the rest of the season.
Injury Watch
Saw Brent Moloney with his arm in a sling. Didn't think it was appropriate to point out that his Facebook profile picture makes me him look like he's off his chops (hey, we share a friend ok?) in case he swatted me with the good hand and injured that as well. Or pulled his groin, which is always a danger when he's involved.
Draft Watch
Theoretically this means we might not finish last. As it stands I think we'll beat West Coast, and have a good chance of knocking over Essendon. What does it all mean? Well it means we might be conceding the number 1 pick to West Coast or Fremantle. Does it really matter? If you can't get a gun with one of the top 3 picks then you're on crack or you're Craig Cameron. Which brings us neatly into...
Ruck Watch
Jamar played most of the game in the centre and held his own, while Johnson pinch hit in the ruck and did some great work around the ground (How good was that chasedown and tackle?) Do we still need Jeff White? I think we do, however is there any merit in playing him in the forward line predominantly over the next few weeks? We still need a ruckman, which is what might end up landing us Naitanui anyway even if there are a couple of key position forward prospects pushing into the top 5 selections. There's some talk about getting Warnock from Freo, and now that it appears his brother will buy himself at least one more year on the list that might be a goer. As it stands Johnson is so vastly improved that his spot on the list is cemented, White probably has one more year left in him and Jamar is wobbling IF we can land another ruck. Watch this space.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Brad Green (Our foremost practioner of what the Dutch would call Total Football)
4 - Matthew Whelan (Back to his best, adding composure and poise to an inexperienced backline)
3 - Brad Miller (Playing the football of his life. Confidence is high.)
2 - Chris Johnson (33 touches but plenty in the second half that were butchered. Great to see him have the confidence to be the go to man though)
1 - Paul Johnson (Probably our breakout player of the season so far)
Massive apologies to Sylvia and Wheatley who deserved a point or two but couldn't get a run. You might argue Sylvia to replace Johnson, but in the balance of things I thought Johnno was damaging right across the ground which just nudged him in front of Colin.
Moderate apologies to Bate, Bruce, Davey, Dunn, Garland, Jamar (1 kick, 11 handballs! 25 hitouts though and certainly didn't have his colors lowered) and THE CELEBRATOR.
Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
20 - Brad Green
18 - Cameron Bruce
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brad Miller
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
7 - Lynden Dunn
7 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
5 - Chris Johnson
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Laughing Stock League
Haven't had one of these for a while, I'd say it looks a bit like this at the moment
13. Port Adelaide
14. Melbourne
15. Fremantle
16. West Coast
Essendon the big movers, and how good is it to be out of the bottom two on at least one ladder?
Crowd Watch
23k. Looked like about 4500 at the first bounce but they came from somewhere. Again we were almost outdrawn by the away fans. And in case you were wondering, that was THE CELEBRATOR's dad sitting with Jim Stynes and not the exiled Zimbabwean opposition leader. Sorry Mr. CELEBRATOR.
Congratulations to the guy in front of me who insisted on calling Brisbane "the Roys" all day. Keep the dream alive sir - it certainly looked like a Fitzroy game crowd. Shame that he had to be an unsufferable crunt in the last quarter when Bradshaw kicked the 'winning' goal. Respect lost, sucked in hard.
Next Week
Nothing. Funny how we've won two games this year and had a week off afterwards both times. After that top of the table Footscray - hoorah! That'll be a test.
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
I see Red………Hair
(Where the international odyssey continued with an Australia Network assisted viewing of the game from a pub in Singapore at 11.30am while sick as a dog trying to decide whether it would be better to just die 3 minutes into the first quarter. Thanks to McLean_4_Captain for providing today's report!)
So, I'm back in town now - thus we endeth the era of Demonblog reports being concise, well thought out and generally actually about footy. Thanks for helping us flirt with reality for a few weeks guys! Anyway... let's roll.
Neil and Tim could not have put it any better and that’s what I was expecting today, to see a sea of Red. Sydney Red that is. With the “neutral” venue and the swans’ current form, my thought going in was that anything under 10 goals would be a win. What a sad state we are in when I automatically think like that. Sad, but not quite despondent.
I see Red in the crowd too. We get paid money regardless of the crowd in Canberra, why not play freo or someone there so we’ll definitely get the majority of the support? It is meant to be our “home” game. There were 3 or 4 to 1 Sydney supporters there from all accounts, so playing them there isn’t exactly going to build our supporter base, is it? And I read in the paper today that McNamee wants us playing Sydney there to be an annual fixture, so they’ll have a similar amount of experience playing at the ground and because of the location they’ll have the majority of the support, at least Hawthorn play different teams in Tassie and have the crowd on their side. I know we need the money, but it would be nice to get a slight home crowd advantage instead of giving it to Sydney. Seems to me like out of the Gabba frying pan and into the Manuka fire.
Back to the Finn’s. All we saw was Red. We didn’t get a disposal in the first 4 ½ minutes, and not long after Jonesy got our first touch in the back pocket the swans slotted their 3rd straight goal. It was looking dim and thoughts of getting within 10 goals were sliding towards 20. Five minutes later and Hall puts through his 3rd for Sydney’s fifth straight goal, 12 minutes of play and were 29pts down. Now 20 goals was looking in danger and Hall looked like he might give Fred’s 61 year old record a push.
But that’s about as bad as it got. Bruce ran hard for a nice goal to give us our first and fire crutch Bate got our second to keep the margin to 30pts at ¼ time
The Split Enz 1978 classic featured heavily again in the second quarter, but in an entirely different way to the first qrt, which had me feeling along way from the Rage that Tim Finn so eloquently expressed in that little gem. Stand-up and be counted Matthew Bate. Presenting well up on the wing as he has in previous weeks, but also kicking the goals which is what we really need from him. 2 goals in the second and he had 3.2 up to half time, keeping us within 5 goals at the half. Someone may have mentioned Bate to “step up to the next level and become a revelation off the HF line” in a recent Bolters 2nd half of the year BF thread, what a top prediction that was…
Not only did Bate come alive in the second quarter, the moisturising pair of Johnson & Johnson, both showed what we’ve been hoping to see from them all year. CJ was not only keeping O’Keefe quite, which is no mean feat on its own, but also giving us some run off the HB line. PJ started to lead well up on to the wing and was providing us a target too big for Leo Barry to compete with. But he was playing too far up the ground for mine and need to be put down at FF, we’ve already got Bate and Miller to lead up outside 50. Green and Wheatley started to get plenty of the ball across half back and provided us with some run, but some errant kicking didn’t help.
Another goal to Barry Hall had him to 4.3 up to half time, Warnock tried his ass off and wasn’t doing a lot wrong, not many are going to stop Hall in that kind of form and it was a valuable lesson for the veteran of 12 games.
Quarter 3, dare I say it, we dominated from the opening bounce, Miller kicking the opening goal of the half after about a minute. Bailey stuck PJ in the goal square from the outset and it paid off straight away, with a nice mark just inside the 50 and goal that never looked like missing. Two in the first 5 minutes and we’d cut the lead to 19pts. Sydney responded but let us off kicking 3 behinds that could’ve easily been goals. Davey gave us some much need pace playing as deep as half back racking up possessions and was back to his best. Hall added a fifth and a couple more points to be 5.5 up to ¾ time, he had more shots then that and could’ve easily kicked 10 for the day.
The fourth started much the same as the 3rd with us looking lively. Dunn who completed his best job of the year thus far nullifying Adam “head-high” Goodes effort and putting in a contender for behind of the year. He collected the ball inside defensive 50, took four or five bounces right up the corridor, received a sheppard from Bate and banged a nice drop punt towards goal from just outside the 50m line, which faded late for the best point of the game.
Just like Dunn’s kick, we faded late. From the Sydney kick in Sylvia claimed Mattner on the wing as he tried to step off the mark and gave away what is the shittest 50m plenty in the rule book, “You weren’t in the contest” says the fluro one. Not in the F#@king contest!!! He got there before he controlled the mark and then only grabbed his jumped as he stepped to go around him. That goal ended all hope and the Swans decided we were close enough so they stepped up a gear we all new they had in them and we didn’t, and we didn’t trouble the scorers for the next 20 minutes while they iced the game. All wasn’t lost with the 40pt margin as I backed Sydney by 40-59 @ $4.00 before the game
Miller led up well and took plenty of marks, but 1 goal and 1 goal assist isn’t really enough. Green collected his usual 25 or so touches playing the loose man, again with several strong defensive marks. Great to have Whelan back in the side, gave us the hard edge and experience we’ve missed in defence and let junior play more in the middle were he belongs. McLean toiled hard all day, but was tagged heavily all day mostly by Kirk. When Kirk needed a rest McVeigh had a go. Sydney smashed us at the clearances and I’d say Roos identified McLean as the one player who always had to have an opponent at the stoppages, which worked well for them. Garland was our best tall defender again, shutting Hall down later in the game, but that forced Bode onto O’Loughlin which had me cringing. He’s had a few weeks, not showing enough.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Bate
4 - Dunn
3 – C. Johnson
2 – P. Johnson
1 – Garland
Bate was clearly best. Dunn not only shut down Goodes but also did some good things himself. CJ gave us some great run with only a few errors as well as shutting down the dangerous O’Keefe. PJ would’ve got more votes but he was up the ground too much, if Bails is going to use him at FF he has to be told forward to stay in the F50.
The last vote was a raffle. It could’ve gone to any of Green, Wheatley, Junior, Davey or even Wona for his 3 goals. I went with Garland as he worked the hardest all day and did the team stuff. He copped a big hit, he was close to the interchange so he crawled off on hands and knees so another player could come on. Held O’Loughlin well, and then went to Hall when Warnock was struggling in the second half.
Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Cameron Bruce
15 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
8 - Paul Johnson
7 - Lynden Dunn
7 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
7 - Brad Miller
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Chris Johnson
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Whinge Section
Shit umpiring. I’ve spoken to both neutral and Sydney supporters about it and all have said we copped it pretty badly. Sylvia was having a bad enough day without shit 50m penalties. Anderson needs to change the interpretation of that rule, even the crap commentators mentioned that no one would’ve noticed if they’d let that one go, needs to be a bit more leeway.
Treatment Room Corner
No official injuries. Garland took a hard hit and went to the rooms, but was back on later in the quarter.
Sin Bin
Goodes has been done for Rough Conduct for his Head-high bump on Bartram. So he should, cheating prick. I’m hoping he gets rubbed out because he deserved to for the Selwood bump. And it also takes him off the consecutive games list. He is on about 205, so at 28 and injury free he was getting too close for my liking to Jimmy’s record.
Commentary Watch
Watched the late replay on channel 7, so I think it was the fox commentators. Fuck me they were bad, 7 coverage is bad enough on its own, I think it was Liam Pickering, Alistair Lynch and some other clown. Absolute Rubbish.
Coach Watch
Dean’s getting there. Game plan seems to be a working a little bit more each week, so hopefully at this rate we’ll win a premiership by the time Morton turns 50 (He'll be lucky to turn 50 kilograms - Ed). In all seriousness we were good in patches again against an opposition who were lacklustre for all but the first 15 minutes. The move of PJ forward worked well, but he I think he needs to be played deeper. My one real query was that we did nothing to help McLean break his tag, Kirk is good enough to deserve his own tag, so why not tag the tagger and hopefully free up McLean.
So, I'm back in town now - thus we endeth the era of Demonblog reports being concise, well thought out and generally actually about footy. Thanks for helping us flirt with reality for a few weeks guys! Anyway... let's roll.
Neil and Tim could not have put it any better and that’s what I was expecting today, to see a sea of Red. Sydney Red that is. With the “neutral” venue and the swans’ current form, my thought going in was that anything under 10 goals would be a win. What a sad state we are in when I automatically think like that. Sad, but not quite despondent.
I see Red in the crowd too. We get paid money regardless of the crowd in Canberra, why not play freo or someone there so we’ll definitely get the majority of the support? It is meant to be our “home” game. There were 3 or 4 to 1 Sydney supporters there from all accounts, so playing them there isn’t exactly going to build our supporter base, is it? And I read in the paper today that McNamee wants us playing Sydney there to be an annual fixture, so they’ll have a similar amount of experience playing at the ground and because of the location they’ll have the majority of the support, at least Hawthorn play different teams in Tassie and have the crowd on their side. I know we need the money, but it would be nice to get a slight home crowd advantage instead of giving it to Sydney. Seems to me like out of the Gabba frying pan and into the Manuka fire.
Back to the Finn’s. All we saw was Red. We didn’t get a disposal in the first 4 ½ minutes, and not long after Jonesy got our first touch in the back pocket the swans slotted their 3rd straight goal. It was looking dim and thoughts of getting within 10 goals were sliding towards 20. Five minutes later and Hall puts through his 3rd for Sydney’s fifth straight goal, 12 minutes of play and were 29pts down. Now 20 goals was looking in danger and Hall looked like he might give Fred’s 61 year old record a push.
But that’s about as bad as it got. Bruce ran hard for a nice goal to give us our first and fire crutch Bate got our second to keep the margin to 30pts at ¼ time
The Split Enz 1978 classic featured heavily again in the second quarter, but in an entirely different way to the first qrt, which had me feeling along way from the Rage that Tim Finn so eloquently expressed in that little gem. Stand-up and be counted Matthew Bate. Presenting well up on the wing as he has in previous weeks, but also kicking the goals which is what we really need from him. 2 goals in the second and he had 3.2 up to half time, keeping us within 5 goals at the half. Someone may have mentioned Bate to “step up to the next level and become a revelation off the HF line” in a recent Bolters 2nd half of the year BF thread, what a top prediction that was…
Not only did Bate come alive in the second quarter, the moisturising pair of Johnson & Johnson, both showed what we’ve been hoping to see from them all year. CJ was not only keeping O’Keefe quite, which is no mean feat on its own, but also giving us some run off the HB line. PJ started to lead well up on to the wing and was providing us a target too big for Leo Barry to compete with. But he was playing too far up the ground for mine and need to be put down at FF, we’ve already got Bate and Miller to lead up outside 50. Green and Wheatley started to get plenty of the ball across half back and provided us with some run, but some errant kicking didn’t help.
Another goal to Barry Hall had him to 4.3 up to half time, Warnock tried his ass off and wasn’t doing a lot wrong, not many are going to stop Hall in that kind of form and it was a valuable lesson for the veteran of 12 games.
Quarter 3, dare I say it, we dominated from the opening bounce, Miller kicking the opening goal of the half after about a minute. Bailey stuck PJ in the goal square from the outset and it paid off straight away, with a nice mark just inside the 50 and goal that never looked like missing. Two in the first 5 minutes and we’d cut the lead to 19pts. Sydney responded but let us off kicking 3 behinds that could’ve easily been goals. Davey gave us some much need pace playing as deep as half back racking up possessions and was back to his best. Hall added a fifth and a couple more points to be 5.5 up to ¾ time, he had more shots then that and could’ve easily kicked 10 for the day.
The fourth started much the same as the 3rd with us looking lively. Dunn who completed his best job of the year thus far nullifying Adam “head-high” Goodes effort and putting in a contender for behind of the year. He collected the ball inside defensive 50, took four or five bounces right up the corridor, received a sheppard from Bate and banged a nice drop punt towards goal from just outside the 50m line, which faded late for the best point of the game.
Just like Dunn’s kick, we faded late. From the Sydney kick in Sylvia claimed Mattner on the wing as he tried to step off the mark and gave away what is the shittest 50m plenty in the rule book, “You weren’t in the contest” says the fluro one. Not in the F#@king contest!!! He got there before he controlled the mark and then only grabbed his jumped as he stepped to go around him. That goal ended all hope and the Swans decided we were close enough so they stepped up a gear we all new they had in them and we didn’t, and we didn’t trouble the scorers for the next 20 minutes while they iced the game. All wasn’t lost with the 40pt margin as I backed Sydney by 40-59 @ $4.00 before the game
Miller led up well and took plenty of marks, but 1 goal and 1 goal assist isn’t really enough. Green collected his usual 25 or so touches playing the loose man, again with several strong defensive marks. Great to have Whelan back in the side, gave us the hard edge and experience we’ve missed in defence and let junior play more in the middle were he belongs. McLean toiled hard all day, but was tagged heavily all day mostly by Kirk. When Kirk needed a rest McVeigh had a go. Sydney smashed us at the clearances and I’d say Roos identified McLean as the one player who always had to have an opponent at the stoppages, which worked well for them. Garland was our best tall defender again, shutting Hall down later in the game, but that forced Bode onto O’Loughlin which had me cringing. He’s had a few weeks, not showing enough.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Bate
4 - Dunn
3 – C. Johnson
2 – P. Johnson
1 – Garland
Bate was clearly best. Dunn not only shut down Goodes but also did some good things himself. CJ gave us some great run with only a few errors as well as shutting down the dangerous O’Keefe. PJ would’ve got more votes but he was up the ground too much, if Bails is going to use him at FF he has to be told forward to stay in the F50.
The last vote was a raffle. It could’ve gone to any of Green, Wheatley, Junior, Davey or even Wona for his 3 goals. I went with Garland as he worked the hardest all day and did the team stuff. He copped a big hit, he was close to the interchange so he crawled off on hands and knees so another player could come on. Held O’Loughlin well, and then went to Hall when Warnock was struggling in the second half.
Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Cameron Bruce
15 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
8 - Paul Johnson
7 - Lynden Dunn
7 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
7 - Brad Miller
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Chris Johnson
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Whinge Section
Shit umpiring. I’ve spoken to both neutral and Sydney supporters about it and all have said we copped it pretty badly. Sylvia was having a bad enough day without shit 50m penalties. Anderson needs to change the interpretation of that rule, even the crap commentators mentioned that no one would’ve noticed if they’d let that one go, needs to be a bit more leeway.
Treatment Room Corner
No official injuries. Garland took a hard hit and went to the rooms, but was back on later in the quarter.
Sin Bin
Goodes has been done for Rough Conduct for his Head-high bump on Bartram. So he should, cheating prick. I’m hoping he gets rubbed out because he deserved to for the Selwood bump. And it also takes him off the consecutive games list. He is on about 205, so at 28 and injury free he was getting too close for my liking to Jimmy’s record.
Commentary Watch
Watched the late replay on channel 7, so I think it was the fox commentators. Fuck me they were bad, 7 coverage is bad enough on its own, I think it was Liam Pickering, Alistair Lynch and some other clown. Absolute Rubbish.
Coach Watch
Dean’s getting there. Game plan seems to be a working a little bit more each week, so hopefully at this rate we’ll win a premiership by the time Morton turns 50 (He'll be lucky to turn 50 kilograms - Ed). In all seriousness we were good in patches again against an opposition who were lacklustre for all but the first 15 minutes. The move of PJ forward worked well, but he I think he needs to be played deeper. My one real query was that we did nothing to help McLean break his tag, Kirk is good enough to deserve his own tag, so why not tag the tagger and hopefully free up McLean.
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Despair In The Dome
Demonblog is still overseas - I'll miss the Sydney game and be back for Brisbane. In the meantime please enjoy the 2nd special guest report of the season from another one of Big Footy's celebrity correspondants Davey_Magik
Exams. The scourge of the universe. Like Collingwood in paper form. Especially when you have 3 in 3 days the day after Melbourne are again, so close and yet so far.
Anyway back to the action. What was meant to be study turned into a Euro binge very early on Sunday morning and I resigned myself to sleeping in until lunchtime and taking the late train.
Thanks yet again to the incompetency of the Phone Dome and Collo the ticket lines were ridiculous and I didn't get in until about 5 minutes into the game.
Thanks to lazy staff I was able to sit in reserved seating with a few mates and start watching the game. Going into the game I thought it was the battle of the two most unaccountable teams in the competition and that was the type of game it ended up being. Bruce was BOG by a mile in the 1st quarter (His kicking, WTF?) and with a rare two goals to the Junkyard Dog we were up by 2 goals at quarter time. Jonesy and Brock were getting plenty of it but I was worried about Richo up forward as Garland and Warnock have been great but Richo has been fantastic this year, and my fears were vindicated.
Bar a great goal by Frosty to start the 2nd term we well and truly dropped the soap. We got shat on in midfield, whoever the fuck was on Deledio was doing a shit job and the Tigers were kicking goals at will. I'll just take a little time here to highlight the stupidity of some of their supporters. Not even Collingwood supporters are dumb enough to shout 'BALLLLLLLLL' when the opposition player is tackled as soon as they touch the ball, but the Tigers sure are.
After that disgraceful quarter I went to check the odds on the game and betting was already suspended with the bookies thinking along the same lines as me, that we were going to get smashed after a solid game the week before yet again.
I just want to take this moment to explain the antics of one particular Tiges supporter sitting behind me. Seemed a bit odd at first but wasn't a bad bloke, but every time the Tigers got a bad umpiring decision he proceeded to jump out of his seat, start throwing his arms and head around in a frenzy whilst he kicked the concrete step and shouting gibberish. By far one of the funniest things I've seen at the footy, it nearly made up for the abysmal 2nd quarter.
After putting a few bets on and sneaking past the Indian guy who was checking peoples tickets I settled down and waited for it rain goals yet again. But this time it didn't. We didn't crumble? I hear you say, yes I was surprised as well. Miller kicked another beauty from the boundary and whilst I launched into Brock for bombing it into a Davey on Richo contest Flash shoved those bad words straight back down my throat as he decided he had enough of crumbing and jumped right over Richo.
We proceeded to have a very good quarter and I chucked a hard-earned $5 (Well it wasn't THAT hard to earn) on us at 3/4 time hoping for another epic comeback. We started reasonably well and Wonna (I love him) put us within 8 points but when Brown was about to snap on his right foot I knew the game was over.
As usual I was sulky after the loss, but I was happy that at least we didnt get smashed. Garland was fantastic yet again (How the hell did he become good?), Brock was in amongst it and Jonesy nearly kicked one of the goals of the year except he munged the kick (Last quarter, broke a few tackles and did a 180 turn before he kicked on the left, imagine Ablett v the Roos except a shit kick). Flash was good after a few weeks out, one of our most important players when he sparks the team like the way he did in the 3rd.
Yze after a reasonable game against the Pies was poor again, I don't care if he doesn't chase as long as he kicks goals but I'm afraid it has been that way for a few years now. Bartram wasn't bad but got burnt by Deledio a few times, Wonna was quiet aside from his last quarter goal but he's a 1st year player so if he's tired it is understandable. Brock I gave one vote but he's been very good this year and I hope it continues. He'll get even better as other players improve around him as well. Bruce was easily our best and was a very good game from him, I'm still tempted to trade him though. I think he's often underrated by our supporters but I do want another top 20 pick alongside the three we'll most likely get.
Miller's kicking for goal was excellent and team-lifting stuff, he's getting better and better this year and I hope Bailey keeps playing him a bit deeper. Jonesy was great in and under, White I'll say had a fairly good game, Bater was OK but gee the delivery to him is poor at times. Down back Bode was beaten by Brown, Richo beat Warnock (Warnock did hold him to 5 shots at goal though, who would have thought Richo would slot them from everywhere) but the rest of the backline held up very well.
And lastly could some people please respect what Lynden Dunn is doing. I've seen some criticism of him going around and he shut down Foley (After shutting down Swan and Hayes beforehand) and will only improve as he's 21 this year.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Bruce
4 - Jones
3 - Garland
2 - Miller
1 - McLean
Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Cameron Bruce
15 - Brad Green
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Matthew Bate
7 - Brad Miller
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers (Joint Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
6 - Colin Garland (Joint Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Dunn is extremely unlucky but I'm loving his last few games and hope he keeps going with it. Some may have had Brock higher but I'm not sure how much he hurt the opposition.
And if I may borrow some of Mercs' material:
Whinge Section
Why the fuck are we so unaccountable in midfield? Countless times the Tigers had free men between the wing and half forward and they killed us. I know we're a young side and still learning but seriously this is basic stuff and it killed us.
Treatment Room Corner
No real injuries from the game (Thank god).
Commentary Watch
Was on Fox so I didn't see it, I'm sure if Frawley was on he would have said something silly no doubt.
Coach Watch
Dean is doing a solid job considering the cattle and the gameplan is slowly but surely coming together. As our younger players improve they'll make him look better and better. Playing Miller deeper in the forwardline was a plus for me, a minus was Bode on Brown, that was never going to work.
Exams. The scourge of the universe. Like Collingwood in paper form. Especially when you have 3 in 3 days the day after Melbourne are again, so close and yet so far.
Anyway back to the action. What was meant to be study turned into a Euro binge very early on Sunday morning and I resigned myself to sleeping in until lunchtime and taking the late train.
Thanks yet again to the incompetency of the Phone Dome and Collo the ticket lines were ridiculous and I didn't get in until about 5 minutes into the game.
Thanks to lazy staff I was able to sit in reserved seating with a few mates and start watching the game. Going into the game I thought it was the battle of the two most unaccountable teams in the competition and that was the type of game it ended up being. Bruce was BOG by a mile in the 1st quarter (His kicking, WTF?) and with a rare two goals to the Junkyard Dog we were up by 2 goals at quarter time. Jonesy and Brock were getting plenty of it but I was worried about Richo up forward as Garland and Warnock have been great but Richo has been fantastic this year, and my fears were vindicated.
Bar a great goal by Frosty to start the 2nd term we well and truly dropped the soap. We got shat on in midfield, whoever the fuck was on Deledio was doing a shit job and the Tigers were kicking goals at will. I'll just take a little time here to highlight the stupidity of some of their supporters. Not even Collingwood supporters are dumb enough to shout 'BALLLLLLLLL' when the opposition player is tackled as soon as they touch the ball, but the Tigers sure are.
After that disgraceful quarter I went to check the odds on the game and betting was already suspended with the bookies thinking along the same lines as me, that we were going to get smashed after a solid game the week before yet again.
I just want to take this moment to explain the antics of one particular Tiges supporter sitting behind me. Seemed a bit odd at first but wasn't a bad bloke, but every time the Tigers got a bad umpiring decision he proceeded to jump out of his seat, start throwing his arms and head around in a frenzy whilst he kicked the concrete step and shouting gibberish. By far one of the funniest things I've seen at the footy, it nearly made up for the abysmal 2nd quarter.
After putting a few bets on and sneaking past the Indian guy who was checking peoples tickets I settled down and waited for it rain goals yet again. But this time it didn't. We didn't crumble? I hear you say, yes I was surprised as well. Miller kicked another beauty from the boundary and whilst I launched into Brock for bombing it into a Davey on Richo contest Flash shoved those bad words straight back down my throat as he decided he had enough of crumbing and jumped right over Richo.
We proceeded to have a very good quarter and I chucked a hard-earned $5 (Well it wasn't THAT hard to earn) on us at 3/4 time hoping for another epic comeback. We started reasonably well and Wonna (I love him) put us within 8 points but when Brown was about to snap on his right foot I knew the game was over.
As usual I was sulky after the loss, but I was happy that at least we didnt get smashed. Garland was fantastic yet again (How the hell did he become good?), Brock was in amongst it and Jonesy nearly kicked one of the goals of the year except he munged the kick (Last quarter, broke a few tackles and did a 180 turn before he kicked on the left, imagine Ablett v the Roos except a shit kick). Flash was good after a few weeks out, one of our most important players when he sparks the team like the way he did in the 3rd.
Yze after a reasonable game against the Pies was poor again, I don't care if he doesn't chase as long as he kicks goals but I'm afraid it has been that way for a few years now. Bartram wasn't bad but got burnt by Deledio a few times, Wonna was quiet aside from his last quarter goal but he's a 1st year player so if he's tired it is understandable. Brock I gave one vote but he's been very good this year and I hope it continues. He'll get even better as other players improve around him as well. Bruce was easily our best and was a very good game from him, I'm still tempted to trade him though. I think he's often underrated by our supporters but I do want another top 20 pick alongside the three we'll most likely get.
Miller's kicking for goal was excellent and team-lifting stuff, he's getting better and better this year and I hope Bailey keeps playing him a bit deeper. Jonesy was great in and under, White I'll say had a fairly good game, Bater was OK but gee the delivery to him is poor at times. Down back Bode was beaten by Brown, Richo beat Warnock (Warnock did hold him to 5 shots at goal though, who would have thought Richo would slot them from everywhere) but the rest of the backline held up very well.
And lastly could some people please respect what Lynden Dunn is doing. I've seen some criticism of him going around and he shut down Foley (After shutting down Swan and Hayes beforehand) and will only improve as he's 21 this year.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Bruce
4 - Jones
3 - Garland
2 - Miller
1 - McLean
Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Cameron Bruce
15 - Brad Green
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Matthew Bate
7 - Brad Miller
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers (Joint Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
6 - Colin Garland (Joint Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Dunn is extremely unlucky but I'm loving his last few games and hope he keeps going with it. Some may have had Brock higher but I'm not sure how much he hurt the opposition.
And if I may borrow some of Mercs' material:
Whinge Section
Why the fuck are we so unaccountable in midfield? Countless times the Tigers had free men between the wing and half forward and they killed us. I know we're a young side and still learning but seriously this is basic stuff and it killed us.
Treatment Room Corner
No real injuries from the game (Thank god).
Commentary Watch
Was on Fox so I didn't see it, I'm sure if Frawley was on he would have said something silly no doubt.
Coach Watch
Dean is doing a solid job considering the cattle and the gameplan is slowly but surely coming together. As our younger players improve they'll make him look better and better. Playing Miller deeper in the forwardline was a plus for me, a minus was Bode on Brown, that was never going to work.
Monday, 9 June 2008
Super Happy Fun Asia Report...
... or "Demonblog watches from abroad". Where I attempt to get quality coverage of the (supposedly) biggest game of the year from thousands of kilometres away and almost achieve it.
My travels landed me in Bangkok (ooer) just in time for the game and thanks to the Australia Network - basically just footy and 5 days of filler programs - the match was on TV with a twenty or thirty minute delay. Not bad. Not sure why they couldn't just put it on live given that it's unlikely to affect the gate if 7 people in Jakarta are watching, but you take what you can get when the only other options are listening to the radio coverage on the AFL website in dingy internet cafes. How about a dingy bar instead? Well, to be honest it wasn't bad at all - being an Australian sportsbar - but there were certainly some seedy characters afoot. The only other guy in there who really cared was a Collingwood fan who, from his comments, was clearly only living there so that he could hit some serious ass. Make of that what you will - I thought he was disgrace but at least he admitted it.
So anyway, for the first time in five years we've lost on Queen's Birthday. Did you really expect anything else? I know last year we shocked the world, but let's not forget that the game didn't turn until Harry O'Brien necked himself and Robertson ran riot. This year Harry O remained unbroken and Robbo was nowhere to be seen and the story was quite different. Given what a slopfest we've been served up in the last couple of years I prefer to think back to the happy memories of carving them up over the last four years rather than the loss today, but I suppose you're not reading this for the MFC's greatest hits and memories so let's press on shall we?
To be honest I can't even remember most of what happened. If the AFL website didn't have a goal by goal breakdown of what's happened I wouldn't even bother writing. All I can remember is that we came out hard and put the pies on the ropes early on. Morton was getting a lot of it but not doing anything with it and missed and early goal before Yze (remember him?) and THE CELEBRATOR added one each and at one stage we even had the Pies on the ropes. Dare to dream? Why bother, it'll only be crushed heartlessly a few seconds later.
The defining moment of the first quarter was Wheatley's non-shephard on Moloney. One of the pissiest pieces of play you'll ever see. It's like he went to get in the way, realised that he was going to get clocked if he did, lost his mind and pulled out leaving Moloney to get slaughtered.
In fact despite this piece of footballing horror we took a lead into quarter time. A bloody unconvincing one, but a lead nonetheless. However about two minutes into the second quarter you could see the way it was going to go for the rest of the game. After Morton botched another shot Collingwood went nuts and put our goal line under siege. Given that we still can't kick-in after all these years the ball would usually either go through for a point, go out of bounds or be cleared outside fifty only to come straight back in again. We weathered the storm for a while but of course it was never going to last. Sylvia showed something marking as a leadup forward and then botched a kick that anyone who wants to play up front should have gotten with their eyes closed. Dunn kicked one, but he's looking increasingly like somebody who might be a good player but doesn't have a role to play. Surely in the midst of our apocalyptic forward line injury plague he could get a permanent run up there?
The agro in the second quarter was quite exciting. Moloney and Warnock (who has improved out of sight in the last few weeks) both ended up bandaged and Clint Bartram was ripping out quality grappling moves that the Ultimate Fighting Championship would have been proud of.
Medhurst and Heath Shaw both goaled and it looked like the Pies were going to run away with it. Happily right on the stroke of half-time - in fact four seconds before it - Nathan Jones kicked one that put us right back in the thick of things but you could tell that it wasn't going to happen. In the Hawthorn game we were matching them, beating them and keeping the ball away from their forwards as much as possible. On Monday the ball kept going inside 50 and despite the much improved performance of our backline (even with Rivers - THE LYNCHPIN - unseen for most of the half and then injured anyway *sob*) we were still conceding at far too rapid a rate for our band-aid forward line to match. At one end you had Medhurst, Didak and Davis doing whatever they wanted to and at the other you had THE CELEBRATOR trying his hardest and a few pinch hitters here and there but not enough to get us over the line.
Cue the third quarter and it was on like King Kong for the first ten minutes. Looked as if we were going to create a way to turn an exciting first half into a complete debacle as usual. There was a minor fightback courtesy of goals from BROCK and The Queen's Birthday Specialist Yze, but when Brad Green lined up an absolute sitter just before Yze's goal and missed it you knew it wasn't going to be our day. Straight off the bat they added another two and the margin was pretty much insurmountable. Green (I still love you Brad, don't think any other way) then missed another eminently gettable chance before the Pies kicked three of the next four towards the end of the quarter and we continued to miss gettable chances. When your forward line is as makeshift as a construction scaffold in the Congo you've got to take every chance and we were so wasteful it hurt. The next captain finally slotted one after the siren to drag the margin back within four goals but the damage had already been done.
And so to the last, and just like the transition from the 2nd to the 3rd kicking the last goal of the previous quarter meant absolutely nothing when you get trampled in the opening few minutes of the next. Three minutes into to a quarter where we started it not totally out of the mix we'd already copped another 2.2 and the contest was over. We spent the next 15 minutes besieging their line and with a bit of luck might have had a chance but other than Sylvia's 3rd (a decent outing, but with a lot more work to be done) we couldn't pull the trigger on them and instead slipped away to what I suppose you'd call an 'honourable' loss.
The most memorable moment of the last quarter was Wonaeamirri almost kicking the greatest goal of all time (not that I'm upselling it at all). If you didn't see it, imagine this - you know when somebody runs into the pocket and tries to dribble one through at a ridiculous angle and it bounces all over the place before going in and bringing the house down? Well, take that but have the ball stop on the goal line and the player who kicked it in the first place almost run onto his own ball and slot it home. The Collingwood player who rushed it behind obviously had no sense of romance.
After the siren some pissed Aussie in a suit and tie (I wasn't aware that Queen's Birthday was a holiday everywhere) said "I bet you hate this song". Wrong, I hate 15 songs. Sure, I hate the Port song more than anything in the world other than a James Blunt album but I'd really rather not hear any of them if it's all the same with you.
Whinge Section
Matthew Bate is potentially a key player for this club. His absence in the first few weeks cost us dearly. Why then does everybody insist on only ever kicking the ball to him when he's got five guys on him? The poor bastard was made to look stupid in the first half yesterday when it was more a case of trying to make the most of a bad situation.
Treatment Room Corner
Rivers - injured again (FUCK YOU GODS OF FOOTBALL. WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME?)
Moloney - shattered wrist. Obviously sick of groin injuries he decided to switch to a crocked wrist instead.
Commentary Watch
Can somebody please invent a chip that replaces the sound of Malcolm Blight talking with relaxing and soothing music. Every time he opens his mouth I want to die. God knows when the last time I had to watch one of our games on Channel 10 was - a couple of years ago at best - but he makes me want to gouge my own ears with knitting needles. Watch a game, not one involving us or you'll go mad, and count how many times he either has a conversation with himself or asks a rhetorical question. It's gotten to the point where I watch games on mute when he's in the commentary box.
Coach Watch
Every time they went to Dean Bailey he looked sad. I'd like to see somebody give him a big hug in the middle of the coaching box.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Nathan Jones
4 - Brock McLean
3 - Matthew Warnock
2 - Colin Garland
1 - Adem Yze
Apologies to Green, Wonaeamirri, Bruce, Bate and Miller
Leaderboard
20 - Brock McLean
19 - Nathan Jones
15 - Brad Green
13 - Cameron Bruce
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Matthew Bate
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
5 - Brad Miller
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
3 - Colin Garland
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Procedural Announcements
This is the 250th post on Every Day Is Like Sunday. Are you excited? I've cracked half an Ararat just thinking about how depressing the next 250 are going to be. Unfortunately due to the fact that I have 5000 other things going on and clearly have never been able to review a game off TV anyway this is one of the shitter DB.com reports. Please direct your comments and criticisms care of a beach, somewhere in South East Asia.
Next Week
Richmond. The first time we've played a team out of finals contention since that famous Freo game. I can take honourable losses, and I can take copping a dishonourable beatdown from St. Kilda if I must but I will not take a pissweak effort against one of our fellow shite sides. With no forward line and a backline that is prospering despite being held together with nothing stronger than a bit of sticky tape there's every chance we're going to get rolled but equally I've got some confidence that we might get a result. I'll be back to hot internet cafe action in Kuala Lumpur or something so one of our hot guest reporters will be here to cover all the action for you. I sincerely hope they'll have the Gillette Mach 5 at the ready just in case it all goes tits up.
My travels landed me in Bangkok (ooer) just in time for the game and thanks to the Australia Network - basically just footy and 5 days of filler programs - the match was on TV with a twenty or thirty minute delay. Not bad. Not sure why they couldn't just put it on live given that it's unlikely to affect the gate if 7 people in Jakarta are watching, but you take what you can get when the only other options are listening to the radio coverage on the AFL website in dingy internet cafes. How about a dingy bar instead? Well, to be honest it wasn't bad at all - being an Australian sportsbar - but there were certainly some seedy characters afoot. The only other guy in there who really cared was a Collingwood fan who, from his comments, was clearly only living there so that he could hit some serious ass. Make of that what you will - I thought he was disgrace but at least he admitted it.
So anyway, for the first time in five years we've lost on Queen's Birthday. Did you really expect anything else? I know last year we shocked the world, but let's not forget that the game didn't turn until Harry O'Brien necked himself and Robertson ran riot. This year Harry O remained unbroken and Robbo was nowhere to be seen and the story was quite different. Given what a slopfest we've been served up in the last couple of years I prefer to think back to the happy memories of carving them up over the last four years rather than the loss today, but I suppose you're not reading this for the MFC's greatest hits and memories so let's press on shall we?
To be honest I can't even remember most of what happened. If the AFL website didn't have a goal by goal breakdown of what's happened I wouldn't even bother writing. All I can remember is that we came out hard and put the pies on the ropes early on. Morton was getting a lot of it but not doing anything with it and missed and early goal before Yze (remember him?) and THE CELEBRATOR added one each and at one stage we even had the Pies on the ropes. Dare to dream? Why bother, it'll only be crushed heartlessly a few seconds later.
The defining moment of the first quarter was Wheatley's non-shephard on Moloney. One of the pissiest pieces of play you'll ever see. It's like he went to get in the way, realised that he was going to get clocked if he did, lost his mind and pulled out leaving Moloney to get slaughtered.
In fact despite this piece of footballing horror we took a lead into quarter time. A bloody unconvincing one, but a lead nonetheless. However about two minutes into the second quarter you could see the way it was going to go for the rest of the game. After Morton botched another shot Collingwood went nuts and put our goal line under siege. Given that we still can't kick-in after all these years the ball would usually either go through for a point, go out of bounds or be cleared outside fifty only to come straight back in again. We weathered the storm for a while but of course it was never going to last. Sylvia showed something marking as a leadup forward and then botched a kick that anyone who wants to play up front should have gotten with their eyes closed. Dunn kicked one, but he's looking increasingly like somebody who might be a good player but doesn't have a role to play. Surely in the midst of our apocalyptic forward line injury plague he could get a permanent run up there?
The agro in the second quarter was quite exciting. Moloney and Warnock (who has improved out of sight in the last few weeks) both ended up bandaged and Clint Bartram was ripping out quality grappling moves that the Ultimate Fighting Championship would have been proud of.
Medhurst and Heath Shaw both goaled and it looked like the Pies were going to run away with it. Happily right on the stroke of half-time - in fact four seconds before it - Nathan Jones kicked one that put us right back in the thick of things but you could tell that it wasn't going to happen. In the Hawthorn game we were matching them, beating them and keeping the ball away from their forwards as much as possible. On Monday the ball kept going inside 50 and despite the much improved performance of our backline (even with Rivers - THE LYNCHPIN - unseen for most of the half and then injured anyway *sob*) we were still conceding at far too rapid a rate for our band-aid forward line to match. At one end you had Medhurst, Didak and Davis doing whatever they wanted to and at the other you had THE CELEBRATOR trying his hardest and a few pinch hitters here and there but not enough to get us over the line.
Cue the third quarter and it was on like King Kong for the first ten minutes. Looked as if we were going to create a way to turn an exciting first half into a complete debacle as usual. There was a minor fightback courtesy of goals from BROCK and The Queen's Birthday Specialist Yze, but when Brad Green lined up an absolute sitter just before Yze's goal and missed it you knew it wasn't going to be our day. Straight off the bat they added another two and the margin was pretty much insurmountable. Green (I still love you Brad, don't think any other way) then missed another eminently gettable chance before the Pies kicked three of the next four towards the end of the quarter and we continued to miss gettable chances. When your forward line is as makeshift as a construction scaffold in the Congo you've got to take every chance and we were so wasteful it hurt. The next captain finally slotted one after the siren to drag the margin back within four goals but the damage had already been done.
And so to the last, and just like the transition from the 2nd to the 3rd kicking the last goal of the previous quarter meant absolutely nothing when you get trampled in the opening few minutes of the next. Three minutes into to a quarter where we started it not totally out of the mix we'd already copped another 2.2 and the contest was over. We spent the next 15 minutes besieging their line and with a bit of luck might have had a chance but other than Sylvia's 3rd (a decent outing, but with a lot more work to be done) we couldn't pull the trigger on them and instead slipped away to what I suppose you'd call an 'honourable' loss.
The most memorable moment of the last quarter was Wonaeamirri almost kicking the greatest goal of all time (not that I'm upselling it at all). If you didn't see it, imagine this - you know when somebody runs into the pocket and tries to dribble one through at a ridiculous angle and it bounces all over the place before going in and bringing the house down? Well, take that but have the ball stop on the goal line and the player who kicked it in the first place almost run onto his own ball and slot it home. The Collingwood player who rushed it behind obviously had no sense of romance.
After the siren some pissed Aussie in a suit and tie (I wasn't aware that Queen's Birthday was a holiday everywhere) said "I bet you hate this song". Wrong, I hate 15 songs. Sure, I hate the Port song more than anything in the world other than a James Blunt album but I'd really rather not hear any of them if it's all the same with you.
Whinge Section
Matthew Bate is potentially a key player for this club. His absence in the first few weeks cost us dearly. Why then does everybody insist on only ever kicking the ball to him when he's got five guys on him? The poor bastard was made to look stupid in the first half yesterday when it was more a case of trying to make the most of a bad situation.
Treatment Room Corner
Rivers - injured again (FUCK YOU GODS OF FOOTBALL. WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME?)
Moloney - shattered wrist. Obviously sick of groin injuries he decided to switch to a crocked wrist instead.
Commentary Watch
Can somebody please invent a chip that replaces the sound of Malcolm Blight talking with relaxing and soothing music. Every time he opens his mouth I want to die. God knows when the last time I had to watch one of our games on Channel 10 was - a couple of years ago at best - but he makes me want to gouge my own ears with knitting needles. Watch a game, not one involving us or you'll go mad, and count how many times he either has a conversation with himself or asks a rhetorical question. It's gotten to the point where I watch games on mute when he's in the commentary box.
Coach Watch
Every time they went to Dean Bailey he looked sad. I'd like to see somebody give him a big hug in the middle of the coaching box.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Nathan Jones
4 - Brock McLean
3 - Matthew Warnock
2 - Colin Garland
1 - Adem Yze
Apologies to Green, Wonaeamirri, Bruce, Bate and Miller
Leaderboard
20 - Brock McLean
19 - Nathan Jones
15 - Brad Green
13 - Cameron Bruce
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Matthew Bate
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
5 - Brad Miller
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
3 - Colin Garland
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
Procedural Announcements
This is the 250th post on Every Day Is Like Sunday. Are you excited? I've cracked half an Ararat just thinking about how depressing the next 250 are going to be. Unfortunately due to the fact that I have 5000 other things going on and clearly have never been able to review a game off TV anyway this is one of the shitter DB.com reports. Please direct your comments and criticisms care of a beach, somewhere in South East Asia.
Next Week
Richmond. The first time we've played a team out of finals contention since that famous Freo game. I can take honourable losses, and I can take copping a dishonourable beatdown from St. Kilda if I must but I will not take a pissweak effort against one of our fellow shite sides. With no forward line and a backline that is prospering despite being held together with nothing stronger than a bit of sticky tape there's every chance we're going to get rolled but equally I've got some confidence that we might get a result. I'll be back to hot internet cafe action in Kuala Lumpur or something so one of our hot guest reporters will be here to cover all the action for you. I sincerely hope they'll have the Gillette Mach 5 at the ready just in case it all goes tits up.
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