Unley Fans

As we readied ourselves for a placeholder game on the way to finals, the 'Dead Rubber' alarm went off like radiation detectors at Chernobyl when it was conveniently discovered that Olivia Purcell could do with a spot of 'managing' just as results in an earlier game meant this one would have no impact on ladder position. Not sure the AFL care enough about their own competition to make a big deal of it, but imagine the spin required if a 'please explain' landed, enquiring if the late change had anything to do with Gold Coast becoming unable to reel in the massive percentage gap to third. She felt a twinge while leaping to her feet and exclaiming "that's a shame for the plucky young Suns", your honour.

So, it was goodbye to Purcell's guaranteed 30ish disposals a game, as well as earlier withdrawal Georgia Campbell's rapidly improving ruckwork, and the experience of Paxy, who'd been left out as a precaution on Thursday night. No harm done to the feelings of supporters or league integrity because we did as would be expected with a first choice team and won anyway. And zero complaints from me, we've got important action on the horizon that made all our important players going hell for leather on a sodden suburban ground somewhere in the vicinity of Adelaide a low priority. No doubt more stars would've disappeared into the Free Hit Triangle if we had enough fit players to replace them. Would be a bit suspect to call Rent-A-Player just in case Hanks, Harris etc... slid across someone's lost car keys. 

In a week where Adelaide's Grace Kelly became the last remaining AFLW player named after an ill-fated Hollywood starlet, conditions were a fitting tribute to the original version of departing Essendon coach Natalie Wood. It was, to put it mildly, fair pissing down. This set the stage for slog, as the natural competitive instincts of a team with a 9-2 record met mid-table mediocrity-era Adelaide (with no Wildcard Round to make that a desirable status in this competition), attempting to finish the year on a high. What followed was hardly a classic, but we got what was required and nearly escaped without injuries to critical players.

After the recent outbreak of Horisk fever, she nearly got another goal via an early snap. The miss was successfully covered up by Hore going one (five?) better not long after. That goal only lasted as long as Adelaide's first inside 50, which arrived in a backline sans Chaplin, who was working an extra shift in the midfield to make up for Purcell's issues with management. Please note, despite this - and a tweet from the club during the week labelling her 'Midfield Maeve' - the Demonblog awards committee has deemed Chaplin still eligible for the Defender of the Year trophy. Objections may be raised via the Court of Arbitration for Sport in Lausanne... until you're blue in the face, it won't change our ruling.  

That was to be the home side's last goal for a while, and we nearly had the instant-ish reply through Livingstone. She hoofed one from distance that bounced in the square, prompting Pisano to celebrate before realising it may have gone upwards, but was not travelling towards goal fast enough to cross the line untouched. For a moment it seemed to have made it, before the shock return of the multi-angle video review ruled it out. So, at Princes Park, where all the major Victorian finals are played, 'reviews' consist of the umpires getting together for a casual chat, but Unley Oval has cameras in the posts. 

The good news is that AFLW uses a 'vision-based' system, which is better than one relying on audio or clairvoyancy. Now, having seen the mish-mash of random reviews this season, please consider these pre-season comments. 

"AFL Executive General Manager of AFLW, Health and Football Operations Laura Kane said the updated system would deliver a consistent and efficient score review process."

a) How's that going? and;
b) Why is your job title so ludicrous?  

We've got at least two finals to play, both at Princes Park, and if any goal reviews are decided by chit-chat vs actual footage you'll know the AFLEGMoAFLW,HaFO was talking shite.

Once that dispute was sorted out in the manner you'd have expected similar incidents to be handled for the last 11 weeks, the remainder of the opening quarter consisted of players who had "can we just get this over with?" expressions while standing in bucketing rain, bashing away at the Adelaide defence without scoring the all-important (for those of us who don't like losing under any circumstances) second goal. Finally, local resistance was broken in the last minute when resurgent goalkicking option Bannan snuck one through to make our score a slightly more appealing 2.5. 

There was almost another via lightning centre clearance, which I nearly missed while skipping forward to what I thought was going to be quarter time while watching on delay. Wotherspoon missed this one, but compensated with three more and has been our breakout player of the season, so no harm done. 

By now things from our side were a bit "let's just get through this without injuries", and while the effort level remained, you couldn't blame anyone for not risking sliding headfirst into a fence or an opponent's knee. The only remaining novelty value was Channel 7 having a boundary reporter with the same name as our coach, which was a bit like when Amy Parks reported from AAMI Park, but without the preceding 186 point loss and coach sacking. He conducted a weird half-time interview with Tayla Harris which opened with him saying he could hear her "panting", which is not a word you hear used in an AFL context every day. She could barely conceal her contempt for the experience, giving an audio version of that time she used the half-time chat to display the middle finger.

A 19 point half time margin was not entirely secure, but given the conditions near enough to, even with our diminished (both by choice and circumstance) playing stocks. It had looked like the footballing floodgates were about to open when Fitzsimon got the first goal early in the second term, but only one more followed. This still compared favourably to one point for Adelaide, who continued to have a crack in the last game of the season, nothing to lose free hit spirit but couldn't muster up any of the old aura from the days when they were toppling us in a Grand Final.

Just to make sure there was no thought of a surprise comeback, Wotherspoon got a goal on either side of half time, and I'd have died from massive head trauma after falling off my chair in shock if we'd lost from here. Had it been a men's game, I'd have been fretting until deep in the last quarter. It was, however, our last major of the third term, and a fine example of a game where the captains should've been able to shake hands and go off with the margin intact.      

It was unlikely that we'd blow a four goal lead at the last change, and there'd be chuff all ramifications if it happened, but I still carried some background fear about some sort of disaster happening. And it did, but relating to injuries not scoreboard misery. Any sense the Crows had that they were wasting their time sloshing out the season in the suburbs can't have been helped by spending the first five minutes of the last quarter in attack, only for us to go down the other end where Wotherspoon plucked a snap from an obscure angle which took the perfect bounce through without hitting the post. It wouldn't have looked half as good from the other side, but the pokey kick from the right pocket was officially an Appealing Visual Spectacle™.

And... errr.... that was it. The only other interesting thing I've got to point out is that Jacinta Hose's career statistics are currently 1 kick and 11 handballs, so let's see how far she can keep kicks under 10%. As long as Campbell returns, I don't think we'll find out during the finals, but something to think about for next season. 

Otherwise, nothing happened until the final siren... except for the small matter of Kate Hore doing something to her shoulder for god's sake. She hasn't been as critical this year as some in the recent past, but I wouldn't pick many others first for a double chance final extravaganza. But, regardless of the injury list looking worse than the 100 Years' War, we are still neck-deep in the finals, with two chances to wind up losing a Grand Final to North. The new coach inherited an almost universally successful program, and sure we haven't played either of the top two teams yet, but credit to everyone involved for keeping things steady after off-field upheaval, and with players going down like nine-pins throughout the season. Now, we've done the warm-up season, time to get on with winning a flag in a season that doesn't have to be referred to under weird numbers like 'Season 7' or 'Spring'.

2026 Daisy Pearce Medal votes
5 - Tyla Hanks
4 - Ryleigh Wotherspoon
3 - Megan Fitzsimon
2 - Maeve Chaplin
1 - Sarah Lampard

Apologies to Ebert, Gillard, Harris, and Hore

Leaderboard
Anyone with a financial investment in Purcell winning the big one would have been shattered by her withdrawal (but should also take special notice of the number for Gambling Helpline), and Hanks' latest top performance leaves her with a near unassailable lead. There's still hope for Olivia backers, but with a maximum of 20 votes available from four finals, everyone else is officially stuffed. No changes in the other awards, except for rumours of a Supreme Court challenge by a pro-Gillard faction.

41 - Tyla Hanks
32 - Olivia Purcell
--- Gorn ---
20 - Maeve Chaplin (LEADER: Defender of the Year)
16 - Tahlia Gillard
12 - Kate Hore, Ryleigh Wotherspoon
9 - Jordyn Allen (PROVISIONAL WINNER: Rising Star Award), Mia Austin
7 - Tayla Harris, Eliza McNamara
6 - Megan Fitzsimon
3 - Alyssa Bannan, Georgia Campbell (LEADER: Ruck of the Year)
1 - Shelley Heath-Barker, Aoife Horisk, Sarah Lampard

Goal of the Week
It must be Wotherspoon, and I enjoyed it so much that despite the lack of context in the final quarter of a flat game, I'm promoting it to the clubhouse leader for the season. And if you don't like it, Wotherfork off. 

Next week
The big Stinear reunion is on, with a Preliminary Final on the non-North side of the draw for the winner. The emergence of former MFC fringe forward Jacqueline Parry as one of the league's top goalkickers fits into the theme that all our exes live in Geelong, as do rumours that Fitzsimon is heading for a reunion with the old boss next year. Hopefully they can bond over memories of her absolutely extracting the piss from his side in a Qualifying Final.

This should have been Geelong's home game (if you assume the AFL would've let them play there), but we got away with it because Kardinia Park was already booked for a motorbike wankfest. Instead, it's off to Princes Park at the marquee time of 1.10pm. People say it's because Channel 7 don't want to show the games in prime time, but they've spent months doing that for pissy home and away games, and presumably if there's any more blood to be squeezed from the viewing audience, it'll come from showing important games between the best sides in the competition. Obviously not, and we're into part A) of a weird finals double header.

Unless there's midweek injury drama (and who could rule it out?), Campbell, Paxman and Purcell will be back. Which helps, but I suspect a lot of the action will be in whether we can hold the Cats off from scoring a shitload, while taking our own opportunities. Which is about the blandest match preview that could ever be written, but I legitimately have NFI what's going to happen.  

Final thoughts
Let rip with the real stuff.