Slowly getting to the point

In a 12 game season with one team apparently still several miles ahead of anyone else, the remaining storylines at end of the season are pretty much a) teams playing for seedings #2 - #8, and b) can St Kilda go one better and score nil sometime in the next month.

Our job was to recover from the disappointment of caving in against North and do the obvious thing by beating a 17th placed side, who had just struggled to their first win of the year against one of the other dreck teams. Which happened, and was never seriously in doubt, but with injuries starting to cause problems, it was more procedural premiership point accrual than an inspirational sign of future finals glory. At the moment, that'll do nicely.

It was also an opportunity, at the second chance, to celebrate a 100 game milestone by winning. As a foundation player, Paxy would've beaten Kate Hore to triple figures if not for being concussed in that dog-related fiasco a couple of years ago, but unlike the captain it meant not risking the chance of being chaired off after losing to the greatest team in AFLW history. As long as we didn't proceed directly to banana skin and stack it against one of the naffer teams in a competition chockers with them. As we like to say in these parts (because it can only happen after winning), all's well that ends well.  

Whether deliberate or not, I enjoyed the random "kicking to the left of your radio dial" reference before the first bounce. It was also nice not to concede an inside 50 in the opening seconds for once. Or so I thought, because instead of the opposition just punting it straight to the Great Wall of Gillard, they instead launched an end-to-end counter-attack which nearly led to the opener.

Collingwood's team had something for fans of various MFC eras, with Rigoni and somebody called Trengove who keeps being called Trengrove. Meanwhile, to add to the confusion we had the debuting Aoife Horisk, who has two names not pronounced as spelt. The latest member of our AFLW Irish Experiment has plenty to learn after only playing the game for a few weeks, but can be pleased to have gotten out of her first game with a 100% disposal efficiency. Sure, five of the six were handballs, but go and round up some random Australian-born bozos on the street and see if they can hit 5/5 targets by hand. May she end up on the Blaithin Mackin plan of going from never playing the game to winning a flag in the space of a season.   

The opening minutes did not look like team with one win vs team with one loss, but the difference was eventually demonstrated when we went ping-ping-ping and found Austin in the square for the opener. She had three by half time, and while we've ripped Carlton off blind in AFLW trades before, this could be the record. Unless they draft two absolute rippers with the throwaway selections we gave up for Austin, this has turned out close to thievery. We'll ignore that the first might not have happened if the pursuing defender's attempted tackle had been better, Austin has been more than good enough to compensate for Eden Zanker's departure.  

While that goal was the MFCW you know and love, it sadly didn't rip the floodgates off their hinges. Indeed, we were lucky not to concede immediately after, courtesy of a dropped mark while standing in miles of space. Which was helpful. But once again, we went from being unnecessarily on the back foot to having a shot at goal. Gall missed, but in the interest of scenario training, it was nice to try a slow and steady start to the game rather than going three goals up before imploding. 

Collingwood did well to keep us to one goal, but had to dodge double late drama to keep it that way. First, Harris missed a shot that she'd usually eat for breakfast, then Gall had another shot after the siren (assisted by gratuitous shoving of opponent before the mark) but barely snuck a rancid set shot in for a point. It was not ideal, but in the week where a side was 0.0.0 until the dying seconds of their game, let's reflect about how good we've had it over the years. It would be rude to complain about the occasional flatter than the proverbial quarter.

Meanwhile, there was some really odd stuff going on in the background at Victoria Park. In the first half, you could hear somebody who sounded like they were speaking through an old tyme walkie talkie. Later, there was a random clanging sound like somebody furiously slamming metal gates shut. This is the sort of 'anything could happen' atmosphere that you only get at suburban grounds. Another random AFLW element is the mysterious goal review system - which appears to have been turned on once this season before being replaced with the old school method of umpires conferring before coming up with a decision that could've easily been made by one person. In this case, it denied the Pies a goal from a toe-poke on the line, so in this case we say thank you very much.

We were the better side, but attacks were continually dying miserably on the half-forward line. In the injury-enforced absence of Kate Hore, mystery neck injury victim, it was Tyla Hanks' turn to do the old "get out of the way and leave it to the superstars" move, and snap the second. Considering their lowly status, Collingwood had been better value than three points to halfway through the quarter, and finally got one to keep it too interesting for my liking. Which was immediately cancelled out via Austin, who appeared for her third not long after, and from being surplus to requirements at Carlton, she is now firmly in the running for Hore's record of 24 goals in a season.

There were more chances left on the table in the last minute, but considering things were feeling a bit unpleasant after Collingwood's first, 19 points was a reasonable lead. In a third quarter short on highlights, I liked when the umpire whistled for a mark the moment the ball hit a Collingwood player's hands, leading to an awkward scenario when it was dropped, and everyone just played on as if the whistle had never gone.

At the third attempt, Gall converted a set shot, but unfortunately, this provoked Collingwood's second. 17 points felt more secure here than - just a random example, at the end of a men's Grand Final - but it was still important to put down any thoughts of a rebellion. They nearly got the next one too, and were getting on top around the ground, which was worrying for both this game, and our future as the second best team in the league. We were in the unusual situation of needing a steadier against a team on 2.7, and after doing more defending than seemed necessary, another chance to goal after the siren was incinerated by Bannan shanking bejesus out of the ball while looking for extra distance, and the door remained slightly open for something farcical to happen in the last term.

Under the circumstances, the last thing we needed was to concede at the start of the last quarter. Then, the otherwise very good Fitzsimon got caught in a tackle which involved her flying in the air like a slapstick comedy. Thankfully, the shot missed, and we survived another attack that reached the last line of defence. Sanity began to be restored by Harris taking a mark amongst several players on the wing, which sent the ball down our end for a few minutes, and appropriately ended with Harris reappearing to kick the decisive goal, after a pass from your friend and mine (but not Carlton's) Austin.

The team that looked vaguely threatening at 2.7 ended on 2.9, but they did have plenty of chances. I liked the one where the player thought she'd try and bump Gillard out of the way, and ended up flat on the ground, looking up at what turned out to be an uncontested mark. We didn't pile it on at the end, and there was a near milestone moment when Paxman had a shot in the last 30 seconds. Alas it missed, but at the presumed tail-end of a great career, I'm prepared to accept with any sort of Paxy content on offer.

This was not a perfect performance, but at this stage of the season it doesn't need to be. Just one more important step towards a top four finish - and let's be honest, top three is preferable to avoid you know who. The rest of the year is almost pointless (just like St Kilda). Any danger of a COVID-style immediate progression to the finals?  

2026 Daisy Pearce Medal votes
5 - Tyla Hanks
4 - Olivia Purcell
3 - Mia Austin
2 - Megan Fitzsimon
1 - Tayla Harris

Apologies to Chaplin, Gillard, Paxman and Wotherspoon.

Leaderboard
The brief moment where it seemed defenders were ready to launch a surprise challenge has passed, and it's become a battle of two. I can't see Hanks losing from here if she stays fit, but other players may feel free to launch a challenge. The ongoing success of the top also heralds the arrival of our famous line of elimination. We'll include at least one final in the calculations for now. 

27 - Tyla Hanks
21 - Olivia Purcell
13 - Tahlia Gillard (LEADER: Defender of the Year)
12 - Kate Hore
11 - Maeve Chaplin
9 - Mia Austin
7 - Tayla Harris, Eliza McNamara
6 - Jordyn Allen (LEADER: Rising Star Award), 
3 - Ryleigh Wotherspoon
--- Needs two finals ---
2 - Megan Fitzsimon
1 - Georgia Campbell (LEADER: Ruck of the Year), Shelley Heath-Barker

Goal of the Week
It's an other round of Thanks Hanks. 

Next week
Last year Gold Coast become one of the many interstate teams to fail the 'Survive Casey Fields Challenge', kicking 0.6 and losing by 87 points. But let's not hold that against them, because they've turned out to be half decent this year. With six wins in a row, a reasonable percentage, and live hopes of a top four finish, they've got all the motivation required to make a statement by doing us over in a 'sure, why not?' fixture at Great Barrier Reef Arena in Mackay. Will they? I wouldn't rule it out based on our last seven quarters and lengthy injury list. And how much does a fancy bit of ocean have to pay to get naming rights for a stadium?  

Regardless of the novelty venue, we should win, but after North's adventures in regional Queensland don't bet a vital organ on it. And if we don't, things could start to look a bit ropey. A thumping percentage, and a season ending with games against the current 11th, 6th and 12th placed teams should ensure a top four finish regardless but there's a massive logjam of teams from 2nd to 7th so everything's on the line, including having to play bloody North again in the first final. It goes without saying that the safest option is to keep on winning.  

Final thoughts
Despite being second on the ladder 75% through the home and away season I'd be baffled if we won the flag from here, but very much willing to have a crack at it.