New beginning, same ending

Suffice to say that when writing last week's post, I didn't factor in the coach getting sacked after an 83 point win. This is the latest in a long line of humiliations for West Coast, who are so bad that even belting them wasn't enough to make our board pause and reconsider paying out a million dollar contract. Eagles management would be mad not to mention this in their priority pick application, even if they did inexplicably recover to nearly beat Adelaide.

The timing of Goodwin's ousting was strange, but it was the best outcome for everyone. We needed to reboot, and whether he agrees right now it's the best thing for his legacy. He thought we were on the verge of being good again, I thought he was about to imitate a Dial Before You Dig ad and cut through high voltage cables. Now he can either claim the groundwork for improvement, or say "Well, I was in the process of fixing it before you sacked me..." if we burn out.

My thoughts, and words of appreciation, to the former coach can be found in this post, but the TL:DR version is "you don't have to like what happened after 2021, but if you can't appreciate his key role in that great moment you need electric shock therapy". I can understand why he didn't want to coach the rest of the season, but one more week just to finish against the Bulldogs would've been an appropriate ending/opportunity to remind the opposition several hundred times how badly they botched that Grand Final.

Once it was clear that he was exiting ASAP, I had sick fantasies that my 15+ year campaign to get Choke Yourself With A Tie as coach might pay off with three token games at the end of the season. Alas, as our crack team of football analysts noted as early as Round 5, Troy Chaplin was clearly the designated survivor so it was no surprise when he was handed the keys for the last three games. Unlike most coach sackings, he wasn't taking possession of a rotten corpse where anything looked like an improvement. In the last fortnight we'd been about 110 points combined in front at three quarter time, so it was hardly a Dean Bailey/Mark Neeld to Todd Viney/Neil Craig type transition. 

Regardless of that, I still expected a belting here. Instead we got a round of "it's the hope that kills you", and some proof of life from our team at the end of a long, tedious season/unexpectedly exciting week. There's plenty to be said for getting so close, and in light of the emotional turmoil since Tuesday, my first instinct was "well done for having a crack". Then I remembered we were in reasonable form on the way in, so it was more a case of "well done for not going to pieces post-assassination". That puts them above the class of 2011, who were on track to save their beloved coach's job before having an on-field nervous breakdown.

Once you take away the coaching shenanigans, this was a rerun of King's Birthday in front of half the crowd. A much better side came in with us comfortably covered on paper, and had better players during the game then nearly stuffed up by failing to securely bolt the door. Then, after hanging around like an unflushable nugget into the third quarter, a few minutes of random champagne football offered a path to victory, before lack of killer instinct/finishing power ultimately cost us. So you can't be upset about it short-term, even if like me you're extremely suspect about the future. 

Some people - including ex-coaches - are convinced we're not that far away from being good again, but I'd point to the various contributions of Gawn, McDonald, and Melksham, and ask what we're going to do when they're gone. Maybe we get lucky/shrewd with the players arriving at the other end of their career, or pull off a club-changing recruiting coup, but to quote one review of a fine book "the default position is pessimism". Nobody would happier to be wrong on this subject than me, and I did say at half time that I'd eat the sweaty headbands of everyone involved in this game if we got within 10 points so it wouldn't be my first failed prediction.

Not surprisingly, I choose to interpret this result with raging confirmation bias. We nearly caused the Dogs a hilarious downhill skiing mishap, and were briefly in a position to win in piss funny fashion, but nobody can seriously claim we were the better side for more than a few minutes. I'd have gladly taken a great smash 'n grab victory, but for the god-knows-how-manyth time this year we weren't good enough for long enough. The result was better than flavour of the month forwards kicking 17 goals between them, and meaningless for anything in the future other than where our second round draft pick lands, but still close enough to give you the shits as another missed opportunity to get wins on the board and convince potential gap-plugging recruits that there's some life in the place yet.

Even after nine years as an assistant coach I know as much about Troy Chaplin's coaching philosophies as I do Helen of Troy's, but it was safe to assume that after all that time in the Goodwin camp he was going to hold steady and not deploy some sort of left-field radical style never previously seen in the AFL. A few alterations here and there, but no attempt to cynically win by any means necessary via slowing the game to a crawl and trying to keep the ball away from their forwards even if it ended in a final score of 30-25. No doubt there were a few mostly tweaks that were invisible to the untrained eye, but otherwise this was almost the same team as last week, playing the same way as last week, and nearly getting away with it against a team many times better.

I thought they might be a bit more adventurous in selection, but after a five month hiatus since blowing our debutante load sky high in Round 1, we gave another first gamer his chance. Instead of playing Jed Adams for the first time against a West Coast forward line that was barely consuming air, he was welcomed with an assignment on Aaron Naughton, currently in career best goalkicking form. And why not? Just because you've finally been rescued from dog turd smeared VFL grounds after nearly years, there's no hiding from the realities of senior football.

The first Jed ever to play for Melbourne (and hopefully an endless source of Jed Maxwell references) didn't have to wait long to get in the action. At the first bounce, Gawn suffered a rare case of his height working against him, when he tried to bring ball to boot in a way that resembled what players used to do before they were allowed to play on after a behind. Except he missed, and soon the ball was flying inside 50, and because I'm a coward at heart I thought "oh god, here we go". Pleasingly, he did well in this first contest. And if things don't work out, hopefully while handing over the #26 jumper in the rooms Sam Weideman slipped him a business card in case Jed wants to join the class action of all the players we've Melbourned.

We got away with this one, but it didn't look like the pace of the game would suit us when the opening minutes were being played like a game of high velocity pinball. We were already without our two main defenders, letting the ball fling in there before the remainder had a chance to set up seemed risky. This wasn't played like the 1989 Grand Final for long, but credit to McDonald and Turner for the way they held up in defence all day. 

We couldn't help but concede a decent score in the end, but not for want of effort from them. I'd bought right into the Sam Darcy as Godzilla hype, but McDonald did a tremendous job on him. I'll reluctantly accept if we don't have a spot for the Sizzle after this year (and we'll never find out if my theories about him acting as van Rooyen's bodyguard had any legs), but the three seriously rebuilding teams are off their nut if they don't think he could fill an important gap - especially because there's one at each club (McQualter, Yze, Viney) that has previously worked with him. If North recruit Jack Darling when the only thing they had going for them was key forwards, and can't see McDonald helping to prop up their faulty backline until somebody else comes along then they deserve to stay at the bottom for several more years. This has been a message from the People For Sizzle campaign, c/o Demonblog Towers.   

The main victim of the bonkers early pace was Windsor, who hopefully took a card from the Weid because we've done him no favours this year. I was right into his turbo, bouncing runs through the middle but the two early turnovers needed an 'unsafe at any speed' warning stamped on the side. I'd say we've got to stick with him for the rest of the year no matter what, but then he burst a hammy in the final minutes and hopefully when he returns for 2026 it's in a role tailored to his obvious natural talents. Start with what he was doing well in the first half of last year, in a much better side.

I like that we gave Adams the responsibility of our first kick-in, and even more that he just hoofed it directly up the middle of the ground to Gawn. You can't do that every time, but more than once every 10 weeks could have some benefit. The Dogs were so surprised that it ended up turning into a shot for van Rooyen, and as he shanked it they should've cut to Weideman in the crowd sadly shaking his head and writing notes.

At this stage I'd have scoffed at the final margin, and thought that we were setting ourselves up for more disaster than usual by not taking chances. This became especially clear when our next attempt at a fast break forward entry died when Melksham kicked to three defenders, and eventually we gave them the first goal with a turnover at such extreme pace that the player who got it had to waste time in the middle of the ground waiting for any of his teammates to get in front of him. I'm almost certain in the same situation we'd still have found a way to kick it straight to the other side, but they worked through it successfully and were seemingly off to the races. 

The only thing holding up full race status were our defenders, but after doing so well until then (and after) Turner flubbed a switch to gift them a second and it was starting to go much as I'd expected. It was like a high-paced shootout where only one team was equipped for the all-important element of scoring goals, but just as I was thinking about how much it would suck to coach a team for the first time only for them to finish on 0.7.7, up came Melksham with a relative screamer at the top of the square for our opener. 

I'd be a lot more positive about the future if we weren't relying on near 34 year old players to do this. We've got Pickett, and will for a long time, but I'd like to refloat the unpopular opinion (without any hard evidence to back it up), that he's being used in the midfield too much now. He's still a chance of appearing like a holy vision in the forward line - and had two missed shots in the first quarter to prove it - but I don't fancy anyone would without him inside 50 scaring the shit out of defenders whenever ball meets grass our forward line seems even less threatening than usual.

Maybe I'm extra sensitive because he's been fined 3x for striking this year and I think you get buried alive for a fourth, but there was also a hint of Pickett getting frustrated and thinking about belting somebody late in the quarter. That's the last thing we need at this time of the year. I'm not saying history dramatically alters if he played the first three rounds this season, but it could only help. Please note - requests for him to play forward do not include clobbering Darcy Moore in the head during Round 24 again. If he's getting frisky send him on a pre-emptive holiday if required because we can't afford to be without at the start of next year.

After going about our business like out of control fanatics in the early stages, the second goal came via patient build-up before van Rooyen got to pull off the rarest move in the MFC forward book - a storming lead to a perfectly weighted pass that didn't bounce away as if his chest was made of trampoline. Gerard Healy celebrated this by calling him Petty, which was unfortunate but not as bad as what he called Gold Coast that time.

The threat of conceding 30 goals had subsided thanks to the backline dealing well with bulk inside 50s. So they switched to the alternative method of a defender bombing one on the run from outside 50 through an empty square. I miss having multiple routes to goal. We got one from an extremely unusual source late in the game, but it's a rarity. Bowey, Langdon, Oliver, Salem and Viney only have 18 between them - and while none are expected to single-handedly carry us over the line with Gary Ablett Sr-like feats of goalkicking athleticism, some variation and mystery about where the scores might come from would be nice.

This is where Jai Culley came in, overcoming the handicap of me repeatedly typing his name as 'Jail', to give me the goal out of nowhere that I was so desperate for. Culleymania wasn't operating at the same power as last week, but given the vast increase in opposition quality he looked comfortable enough. Also had the most tackles in our side, which probably means nothing to professional coaches but makes me feel warm and fuzzy. He's definitely done enough to get a contract next year, and we'll wait until then to see if he goes on with it or joins the Bens Kennedy/Newton path of an encouraging first year before disappearing off the face of the earth.

We were only two points behind at quarter time, but I was incorrectly convinced that the dam walls would give in at any time. The defenders were doing a bang up job but the weight of attack had to blow us down eventually. Well, as it turns out no. This despite players squinting into sun at the Punt Road end in a way that made you (well, me anyway) wish to play under a closed roof again.

Wherever Simon Goodwin was (and in the press conference Goodwin he said he'd be watching "on the phone" which was an oddly specific thing to say. Does he not have a TV?) he'd have been pleased at the strong defensive effort. And the fitting tribute from the MCG when they reportedly played good old Freed From Desire at quarter time. Somewhere there's a massive loser who's still upset about our players singing this post-Grand Final, but given that Footscray recruited James Harmes after he piffed ice at them in a nightclub hours later I don't think the feud has reached Israel vs Palestine levels. 

Until social media LIT UP with mentions of this song (e.g. two) I hadn't thought about it since we were good, and it made realise that I'd never actually knowingly heard to it except when sung by plastered footy players. I thought this was an appropriate time to listen to the studio version, and what a piece of shit it is. I'm open to the genre, but may that tune be buried under tons of concrete Chernobyl style unless used in connection with premiership glory. I assume somebody has already done "freed from Nasiah", but it'll be topical again when he sprints away from St. Kilda two days after the season ends.

This was not an occasion for wasting opportunities. Like when we responded to a goal by Fritsch missing a gettable snap. He was very good again, and after a frankly shit first half of the season I'll be very happy to have him back in original condition next year. He did crop up for a steadier after we'd survived three shots (including a rundown tackle on Salem as he was going for a casual jog out of defence), and offered immediate feedback to some uncouth Dogs fans over the fence who obviously missed him running riot in a Grand Final.

To prove that everything was going to come easier for the Dogs, we had the ball in front of our goal for what would've been a go-ahead goal, only for one of theirs to nearly miss his boot trying to snap but still having the ball come back for another chance. They nearly got another when Rivers was penalised for Bont running into him. Lucky it didn't end in a concussion or Rivers would be missing Round 1 next year for not having the borderline mystical powers to know an opponent was going to launch headfirst into him.

There was another wasted opportunity when Melksham was stitched up by a dud kick when on his own inside 50 and responded by saying something which definitely ended in "king hell". Still, even if I still didn't have any faith in us keeping the margin sanitary by the end (YES, I KNOW I WAS WRONG, THERE IS NO NEED TO POINT IT OUT), a 10 point deficit at the break was appreciated. Especially when barely anyone outside of our defensive 50 was having a really good game. Rivers was good, and Gawn darted around trying to save the day as usual, but otherwise weren't much above 'manful battling' level. 

My suspicions of a sudden landslide breaking out weren't helped by conceding an easy clearance to start the third quarter, leaving Adams unsuccessfully trying to quell Naughton. I have no issues with his performance as a first gamer thrown into this high risk scenario, so it'll be interesting to see how he goes in the future. One on hand, I'm starting to think everything's pointing towards us being stuck with Petty as a forward but he was pretty good here so I remain very much option to the idea of finding a commanding tall forward who can go alongside JVR and let Petty roam around half-forward.

Speaking of light positional switching, I get the logic being playing Petracca forward more to give other players a crack at the centre bounce but can we have more McVee (unless he's leaving, then he can get on the cans over the next fortnight for all I care) and Rivers instead of Windsor? Maybe they'll give one a crack in each of the next three rounds, but this time Windsor was there for 65% of centre bounces, and the other two a combined 0%. Compare to last year's throwaway game against the Suns where McVee had 60% - and the full season where he's gone from 1.7 per game to 0.1. Rivers has done a bit better but is still well down from last year. I know we're accounting for extra Pickett + Langford etc... etc... but it's not very adventurous considering the usual midfielders have been on and off like a tap this season. As usual, insight from anybody who actually knows what they're talking about would be welcome.

I'm very much for Windsor but cripes he had a rocky time here, including dashing through the middle of the ground, slipping over and giving the ball away. He wasn't the only player to treat the surface like they were starring in Disney On Ice, but it wasn't pretty. Here's to the MCG surface wrecking the September experience as much as my dream Grand Final between Gold Coast and GWS.

We were just holding on when things suddenly got interesting. Chandler goalled, and after we nearly gave it back via a ruckman standing still, waiting to be run into, then claiming a block, Fritsch got another after a kick along the ground clean bowled a defender. As late-Clarko Hawthorn found out to our detriment one night, you can't give away intercept marks if you don't kick it in the air. Another example of why a human Hoovering machine like Pickett should be down there more often than not.

By now the Bulldogs were getting a bit nervy, but after we missed a couple of chances to bring the lead back under a goal they sliced us through the middle of the ground ginsu knife style for a steadier. When Pickett got one back I still doubted our chances, but Luke Beveridge was clearly fuming so it was worth it just to annoy him. We were also doing our bit for the future of footy by trying to put enough of a gap between 8th and 9th that this year can't be used as justification for a wildcard game.

In a game where the umpires couldn't bounce to save themselves but were also too self-conscious to call all but the worst back, a ball propulsion error in our favour led to Melksham grabbing the lead. Cripes. This lasted about one minute before Darcy was given a wildcard entry to the game with one of the best kicks to a lead you'll ever see.

Much to the disappointment of an internally boiling 'Bevo' we wouldn't go away as expected. If we'd won any journo who strayed from the usual softball press conference questions may have been subject to a microphone cord strangling. Especially when they let us kick two late third quarter goals in the traditional fashion. First there was Gawn and his new around the corner technique that's currently working at 100% (matter for pointless debate - if he had to take that kick in Geelong again today would he do it this way?), then Petracca hoofed into an open goal with the biggest smile (piss off Colgate) since his mum swore on national television after the Sydney game and we were 10 points up. It was our best quarter for scores generated from the defensive half since 2022, and if we can't find commanding key forwards I'm open to piling down there at full speed before the other side has a chance to get ready. The only problem is that eventually the moment you get the ball in defence everyone will know exactly what's going to happen and from a human barrier in front of the ball, so we'll need to step outside the comfort zone and introduce some variety.

Just to make sure the six points couldn't be given back in near-record time Barry Umpire wasted a few seconds by finally doing a bounce so off-centre that he had to admit defeat instead of making the ruckman chase it. I have no love for the bounce, so whoever the Grand Final is between may there be a late goal that brings the margin under a goal, followed by a bounce so embarrassingly diagonal or worse that the concept is immediately retired.

Better than the alternative, as they say, but I was still operating in full Grinch mode and expecting it turn out go like the Hawthorn game, where we put up a brave fight, temporarily looked capable of nicking it, then dropped dead as if shot. It didn't turn out that way, and I'm happy about that but obviously Troy Chaplin got the full horn for the chance of an upset on debut and chucked all the old guard back into the middle at the first bounce. Lucky they don't put the scores of other games on the screen these days or McVee would've glanced up to see West Coast not being totally putrid and thought "I'll be off then". 

The commentator greeted their first goal as if it was the moon landing, shouting "It's only the second goal in his life!" as some fringe Footscrayite converted. Later, their boundary rider had to force her way into the conversation to point out that the Dogs had made their sub, and five minutes later it was brought up in the box/Fox Footy studio as an exclusive that they'd just discovered on their own. I can't watch Channel 7 anymore because that clown kicking a footy through his window brings on the red mist, but this call was a bit rough.

We were lucky not to concede another just after that when Naughton took what morally should not be paid a mark but usually is. He'd have his revenge later, and they didn't take long to add the second anyway. Blake Howes had his moment later, but for now his first job was to stand on the mark while Ed Richards kicked the ball over the umpire's hat from an obscure angle. Petty responded, but it looked over again when they kicked two in a row just after Pickett killed one of their players with a knee to the internal organs in a marking contest. How long until you get suspended for that?

There was one last roll of the comedy dice when a panicked tumble kick out of defence landed with unlikely goalkicking candidate Howes, who broke his duck after 26 games, passing the most games without a goal baton all the way down to the two and out Tom Fullarton (!). As far as Bulldogs fans go, he was about as obscure a figure as the guy who'd only kicked two in his life but the difference was we didn't particularly care about losing, but they be left to play out two likely pointless weeks after losing the joy of life.

Alas the final bit of ebb and flow went against us, and they kicked two goals to take a seemingly unassailable lead into the last minute. Enter surprise forward Turner, who took advantage of a fantastic desperate effort from Petty to score from close range. According to that cockhead from the Tribunal who thinks players should make complex calculations in 0.5 seconds or less, we should be upset that he kicked it goal and made the margin six points because we'd have had more chance if he'd rushed a point, then the Bulldogs blew the kick-in and allowed us to win by a point. Those of us who live in the real world appreciate the effort, and understand that the real missed opportunity for gratuitously rushing a point was while six points up against the Saints.

This left 55 seconds to do something interesting. We went -6, +/-0, +1 in a similar time during the Marty Hore Miracle, but that involved tying the score first then just needing to score anything to win. Based on past experience there was a chance the Dogs might stand back and let us walk a couple of goals out of the middle in the last minute, but realistically we weren't doing any better than a draw. Good thing I didn't realise this would've been almost as fatal to their finals chances as a loss or I'd have emotionally invested more in pulling off the upset.

Strangely, Pickett was nowhere to be found at this bounce. I assume he was forward of the ball waiting to snap a last minute miracle goal from the boundary line if it ever got down there. Which it didn't. Maybe we'd already had a 6-6-6 warning earlier in the game, and everyone was shitscared about doing ad hoc positional changes in case we gave away another horror last minute free.

The only hope we had of half-nicking this was when the ball was booted practically straight up in the air out of the middle. I can't remember if it went remotely near 15 metres off the boot (and won't be watching a replay to find out), but given that my #1 Eddie McGuide style radical rule change is for intercept marks to count no matter how far they've travelled it would be hypocritical to complain. Enter Golden Child Darcy, who made up for doing nothing all day with a game-saving mark running against the flight of the ball. 

If this happened in Round 22, 1982 he'd still be on a ventilator (and more importantly we wouldn't be playing two more games) but it's reasonable progress that players can now take their eyes off the ball without risking pulverisation. Like the time Young Bont kicked a goal out of his arse to beat us, you had to appreciate being beaten by something special. You may have also chosen to curse the fact that Jack Viney is our only star father/son since Barassi, while Darcy has a brother who may turn out to be just as good.

We're owed a comedy finish in our favour, but the Bulldogs didn't come to the party by nervously turning the ball over to a player steaming through the middle of the ground. Their season continues, and while we're finishing at a little bit higher speed than 'limping'. This wasn't nearly as bad as expected, and while I've got renewed hope that the next two weeks won't be as ugly as expected I'll still be happy when it's over.

2025 Allen Jakovich Medal votes
5 - Tom McDonald
4 - Trent Rivers
3 - Max Gawn
2 - Harrison Petty
1 - Daniel Turner

Apologies to Bowey, Fritsch, Langford, and Salem + Oliver and Petracca for their cameos.

Leaderboard
All the remaining action is in the defender ranks, where McSizzle has stormed into contention alongside Bowey and Turner. Who'd have thought that a three-man race for this award wouldn't involve May or Lever. Otherwise, Langford would be extraordinarily unlucky to lose the Rising Star from here, and Pickett has confirmed at worst a share of silver in the main event.

58 - Max Gawn (WINNER: Allen Jakovich Medal for Player of the Year and Jim Stynes Medal for Ruckman of the Year)
34 - Kysaiah Pickett
24 - Jake Melksham
20 - Jake Bowey (LEADER: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year), Christian Petracca
18 - Daniel Turner
17 - Jack Viney
16 - Tom McDonald, Clayton Oliver
13 - Steven May
11 - Kade Chandler, Bayley Fritsch, Harvey Langford (LEADER: Rising Star Award)
9 - Ed Langdon
8 - Christian Salem
7 - Xavier Lindsay, Trent Rivers
4 - Harrison Petty, Tom Sparrow
3 - Judd McVee
2 - Jake Lever,
1 - Jai Culley, Harry Sharp

Aaron Davey Medal for Goal of the Year
It won't change anything for the overall prize, so Petracca wins because the goal made him look happy again.

Next Week
Now that I'm open to a competitive finish to the season, we'll probably burn like buggery against the Hawks. At least there's some interest in it, other than the chance to play spoiler to the finals plans of better sides. There's a move to pick Kentfield after he kicked four in the VFL, but hands down there's no way they make unforced changes to the forward line after we pulled off a decent score against a finals contender. And at the other end, they'll obviously pick May even if there's an argument for winding him up this year and concentrating on Adams and Howes for the next two weeks.

Casey has a final spot entering the last round, but must beat top of the ladder Box Hill to avoid the dreaded Wildcard Wankfest. It's hard to take a competition called the Victorian Football League seriously when the result of GWS vs Gold Coast may be important to us, but it's odd that Box Hill have four more wins than Casey with only six points more scored and 33 less conceded. Probably something to do with it being a 21 team competition where you only play 18 games.

I'll have May at the expense of Howes, who they obviously didn't know what to do with if he was sub on Sunday. Next week he can come back for Adams, who would be the victim of a big pisstake if he didn't get to play VFL finals after spending almost three full years playing for Casey. Laurie couldn't even get the nod for an extended side this week, but I'm holding out some hope that they'll give him the respect of one full game in the seniors at some point this year - and again better now than in a week when he could be playing finals with the team he's spent more time with this year. And let's have Sharp as sub one more time just so he breaks the record for most in a season.

IN: Laurie, May, Sharp (sub)
OUT: Howes, Sparrow (omit), Windsor (inj)
LUCKY: Adams
UNLUCKY: Billings, Howes, Johnson, Spargo, Kentfield

Coaching Corner
I'm not going to set myself on fire outside the Demon Shop if Nathan Buckley gets the job, but he seems to have acquired favourite status by a) being the only person to say he's interested, and b) the other obvious experienced coaches not being interested. Hope he realises we won't offer the same level of protection he got at the Pies, where Eddie McGuire would've taken a bullet for him but sacked any outsider after 2017. It's unlikely to matter, I think he's so desperate to coach again that if the Brisbane Bears came back from the dead he'd give them another token season before bolting for a better job. Hopefully if more sensible judges than me determine rebuilding of any variety is required that he's up for it instead of trying to stay afloat with what he's got for a couple of years before the bottom falls out of the place. 

If I had a realistic (e.g. non-Yze) alternative to promote I'd invest more in arguing about this, but if we're mad for an experienced coach who's had any type of success, who else is there? Hinkley should go and be Michael Voss' kindly uncle at Carlton, Hird is an extreme version of the Buckley redemption story without ever going close to winning anything, and neither Don Pyke or Leon Cameron are in the market even if we were interested. So whoever it is, I'll salute the uniform and hope for the best.

W Watch
You'd have to be an enthusiast to know, but AFLW starts next week. The league slaughtered building up the men's season this year so I wouldn't trust them to promote The Second Coming, but there's not a lot of options available when half the season is played in competition with the final exciting (?) weeks of the home and away season and finals.

I'm into it (our games anyway, my free time for non-MFC footy is now about five minutes per year), but am baffled by how many experts and industry professionals think there's not enough crossover with the men. Anybody who suggests double headers instantly loses credibility with me, so thanks to the dickheads who scheduled our opening W game at 7.35pm at a different ground to where the men will be playing until roughly 7pm. Bad enough for those of us who want to give adequate respect to watching both games, shithouse for anyone who might want to attend both.

Speaking of enthusiasts, you'd have to be one to have read all the way down here, so consider this your open invitation to step in for a guest report. Even if we've done our best to minimise the crossover period by missing finals, there's every chance I'll be burnt to a crisp by the event of AFLW season and be posting in a cryptic code resembling transmissions from the Zodiac Killer so email, tweet, Facebook message, or fax me if you feel the holy spirit flowing through you at any time and want to have a crack.

Final thoughts
Get through the last two weeks, pull down the shutters on a genuinely odd campaign and let's get on with either trying to stop players going out the door and/or vigorously pushing them towards it while solemnly praying that 2026 brings us a Wade Derksen-led recovery.