Saturday, 30 June 2007

The hits just keep on coming

You'd think that after having had my heart broken by football on a near weekly basis for the last twenty years that I'd be over it by now. To a certain degree you'd be right, now that we've at least won two games this season I'd be less inclined to have a coronary at losing a game with six seconds left in the last quarter, but it's still like a dagger to the heart given the circumstances surrounding the match.

If we had won tonight it would have sent Daniher off the right way and provided a neat ending to a chapter that began all those years ago in Wellington, New Zealand of all places (it's true, look it up). Last week this result wouldn't have haunted me, and next week I'll probably throw my hands up and go "who cares, we always lose to Carlton" but to see the boys throw themselves into the game at a million miles an hour in the last three quarters tonight and to be beaten like that is a heartbreaker of the highest order.

The initial reaction was to question (once again) the wisdom of hiring the fitness guru with the unpronounceable name to help us run games out, but in retrospect I suppose the boys had run themselves into the ground so spectacularly in the second half that it was inevitable that they'd fall apart at the end. It didn't help when Robertson and Neitz suddenly forgot how to kick straight when it really counted - though under the circumstances I choose to believe that they were so desperate to ice the game as a mark of respect to ND that they psyched themselves out of it. Yet somehow we almost got away with it - had somebody just got a fist on that last ball we all we would have had to do is get one kick in right and we would have taken the points in a fairytale result. Yes, I know we rarely get kick-ins right at the best of times but with just six seconds left they could have chipped it short and milked the clock openly.

And who didn't feel like doing exactly what Nathan Brown did after the final siren? Lucky he had (alleged) turf underneath him when he started beating the ground because if we tried that it would have ended in a tragic cavalcade of flying seats and blood splattered across concrete. In the grand scheme of things the result meant absolutely nothing but in context it was so important. Next year/month/week we might not give a toss but at the time it was the footballing equivalent of finding your prom date making out with your dad.

I realised we were in trouble when Brown did his patented "turn around and rush the thing from 30 metres out" move. That's fine against your slop teams but against a highly professional outfit coached by the inventor of pretty much every dubious move in the playbook it's like pouring blood into a shark tank. Then we tried the bullshit 'chip it around' move against a team who do it better than anyone in the game and obviously know how to play against it. Cue it ending in tears and costing us the game.

Yes, before Lucas kicked the goal that put them within six points we were ripped off out of a free kick when Cameron Bruce had the figure four leglock put on him just outside 50, but given that we were on the receiving end of two of the worst free-kicks ever throughout the night I'm not complaining about anything. There was probably some arcane rule that explained the one in the third quarter where the Essendon player bumped Matthew Bate with his body and somehow got done for a push in the back but I must confess, along with 45,000 other people, I was mystified. Then there was a perfect tackle laid on somebody (McDonald? Bruce? Green? Ormond-Allen? I can't farking remember) which was also pinged for in the back. Cue righteous indignation and whispers of a conspiracy from the opposition fans - once again I ask that if the umpires are corrupt in your favour and you're 2-10 how bad would you be if they were AGAINST you? Idiots.

Crowd Watch
To be entirely honest for a club with so many fans I rarely run into a peanut Bomber fan at a game. They're undoubtedly out and about, and let's face it we've got our fair share of nutbags too, but I've had the good fortune to avoid them all. Extra points to the two guys in front of me who were drinking from 1 litre bottles of Solo that clearly did NOT just have Solo in them. Then when they ran out two bottles of Pasito appeared. Smuggling your alcohol through the gate inside the most unfashionable soft drink ever invented? What an angle. If only they'd had the same bag inspection guy that I had ("Want to see my bag?" *silence*) they could have dragged an entire bar in. Ironic given that the the Dome isn't much more than a glorified bar for corporate scum.

Juice Newton Watch


Oh, the player? Well he was alright. The mark he dropped in the last quarter was absolutely criminal but at least he showed life, which is more than you can say for the usually heavily sedated B. Miller. Will undoubtedly get better in the weeks to come if given enough of a chance.

Dome Watch
It's the new Optus Oval - decent enough when half full but an absolute nightmare when a crowd show up. Despite having a reserved ticket it still took me forty minutes to get into the ground

Interesting enough they showed the crowd figure with a special mentioned for the 6000 odd "Ticketed Absentees" who paid their money and didn't bother to turn up. This is definitely something I've never seen before. It might turn into the 2007 equivalent of the St. George kick predictor piece of shit and give bored fans the chance to come up with a random number off the top of their head and then pretend to have a well developed knowledge of football when they get within 50% of the actual answer. Either way I can't believe that so many people actually forked over $'s and didn't bother to show. Obviously here and there people are going to have family emergencies or pick up in the bar before they even get to the ground but 6000 of them? Madness. Interesting a vast number of these empty seats were on the ludicrously expensive Level Two. If you're that keen at throwing your money away feel free to cut me a cheque you elitist bastards.

So yes, we were shit, then we were very good, then we were average, then we were good again, then we were shit again and then the siren went. Another wasted evening that could have been spent with my head in the oven.

2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
I'm going to be controversial here. I have been a vocal critic of tonight's five point player but apart from anything he actually did with the ball tonight he played his heart out defensively and went into everything like his life depended on it. Put the chicken wire net up to stop the broken bottles hitting me square in the face and step forward,

[4-1 edited the next day due me being a crackhead and forgetting Jeff White]

5 - Simon Godfrey
4 - Jeff White
3 - James McDonald
2 - Travis Johnstone
1 - Russell Robertson

Apologies to Sylvia, Green, Davey, Bate, Bruce, Ward and god knows who else.

Leaderboard

And it's a new leader. Wonderful - now can we start 2008 already?

19 - Bruce
18 - Green
18 - McDonald
11 - Johnstone
11 - Bate
11 - White
10 - Rivers (Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
10 - Davey
9 - Jones
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Wheatley
4 - Bizzell
4 - McLean
3 - Holland
2 - Moloney
2 - Dunn
2 - Brown
2 - Carroll
1 - Pickett

I've got to get away from football - it's doing my head in. I sit here thinking "one flag and I can at least walk away for a couple of years", but what if the one flag never comes? There was probably a South Melbourne fan saying exactly the same thing in 1952, and you can be sure that he died a week before they finally won the fucking thing. It's the same principle of slaving for forty years to pay off a mortgage and then getting hit by a bus as you cross the road to walk into the bank with the final cheque.

Next Week
You lot can do as you like, I'll be at the Asian Cup soccer football tournament. Guest reporters will hopefully be filling the not inconsiderable void. If you're lucky they might even bother to analyse the game.

Thursday, 28 June 2007

End of an era

So that's it then. Neale Daniher has resigned, Mark (who?) Riley will take over as coach for the rest of the year, and the new broom that we were all crying out for is on the way. Just who will be wielding the broom is anybody's guess, and as I'm sure my application won't even be considered I've got no insight into the selection process.

Tomorrow night marks the end of an era that began in the 1998 pre-season and took us from some massive highs (Rd 20, 2005 anyone? 2000 prelim? When we porked Adelaide in the 98 finals?) to some desperate lows (Last week? Most of the 2003 season? Scott Chisholm?) with pretty much everything in between.

Notwithstanding the fact that we never won anything, and have been abysmal this season even when our best players are on the park, I will be the first to rise to applaud Daniher at the conclusion of tomorrow night's game. The man has been a wonderful ambassador for our club in the last few years, and I appreciate what he's done even if I haven't always agreed with it. To be honest there might even be a tear in the eye - after all the man's reign has spanned almost my entire modern football watching life. 1998 is still my favourite season ever and Daniher played a massive part of that.

Amazing isn't it - after being 0-9 we won two in a row and even as much as we knew it wasn't going to happen we let our minds wander for a second to a massive winning streak and the greatest comeback of all time. Then with one solitary performance, against a side that despite being six points behind on the ladder was arguably only one massive thrashing away from being our equal so far this year, all the optimism was swept away in a tidal wave of bitterness and recriminations. Everyone knows ND had lost the fans, but I think it's fair to say that everybody was ten times more bitter with him during the 2003 season than they are now - three straight years of finals will do that for you.

Make no mistake this is the best thing for the club. It's like one of those marriages where both parties realise that after years together that it's all gone completely tits up and that it's better to go their seperate ways. Everyone's still friends - they might hook up with other people in the next couple of years but there will be family reunions and they might get together at Christmas. Maybe they'll talk on the phone - who the fuck knows, I'm really starting to struggle now.

Tomorrow night should be a laugh. Remember if you're planning on going that due to Essendon's deal with the Corporate Dome you've got to buy a reserved ticket. Isn't that farcical? I hate the Dome but I wouldn't miss tomorrow night for the world - goodbye ND, we hardly knew ye. Except that we did.

Sunday, 24 June 2007

Why bother?

There's no report that can do justice to how bad Friday night was. Richmond turned it up a notch, we turned it down several and unlike last week the umpiring wasn't almost criminally in our favor.

Despite everyone in the world knowing he wouldn't play the master of mind games ND named Neitz anyway. Juice Newton was named as an emergency so after kicking 40 odd goals in the 2nd's this year, and our desperate need to groom a new forward you'd expect he would have played against the bottom team wouldn't you? Instead step forward Adem Yze who did nothing and reinjured himself. We got Paul Johnson at FF instead and he was completely inept in almost every way. So inept in fact that after getting towelled up in the first half down back Ben Holland was thrown up front after half-time. Richmond took this move so seriously that they didn't even give him an opponent until he kicked a goal. Somehow he managed three, but despite our best wishes we were unable to see this in the papers the next day,

Neale Daniher threw much-maligned defender Ben Holland forward after half-time in a cavalier move which saw the Demons charge back from ten goals at the long break to record a hard-fought four point victory. Holland added a career best eight goals including a dramatic winner from 50m on the stroke of the final siren.

Obviously fiction is the only thing we have left this season. Instead we mounted something of a comeback, didn't get back within six goals and were comprehensively tonked by a team who hadn't won in three months. Awful - the difference between our coaching staff and theirs was that obviously Wallace and Co had watched the tape of Queen's Birthday a hundred times, pinpointed every single weakness we had and exploited the fuck out of it. One person who didn't watch the video was the aforementioned B. Holland who tried to do the same armbar he had on Anthony Rocca on Richo and was duly pinged. Did he not think that after a week of every TV show on the face of the planet highlighting just how lucky he was to get away with it that this time he probably wouldn't get away with it. Still, he's actually going to get votes so you can tell how bad this night was.

I got so bored I started spraying our own fans. Memo - when you sit there for four quarters giving opposition fans shit about being poor and living in cardboard boxes you are contributing to everything that people hate about our fans. The moment you open the stereotype file then it's your duty to bend over and cop every ill-informed cliche about Range Rovers and skiing trips that the other lot dish out - YOU HAVE NO MORAL HIGH GROUND. Stupid people need to be told they're stupid.

Apparently the players want to keep Daniher. I've got a simple way to get around that - get some new players.

Votes
Jesus this will be hard

5 - Jeff White (?)
4 - Matthew Bate (??)
3 - Brad Green (???)
2 - Aaron Davey (????)
1 - Ben Holland (?????????????????????????????????????????????)

2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Leaderboard

19 - Bruce
18 - Green
15 - McDonald
11 - Bate
10 - Rivers (Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year - any danger he might be seen again before the new millenium?)
10 - Davey
9 - Johnstone
9 - Jones
8 - Miller
7 - Sylvia
7 - White
6 - Neitz
5 - Yze
5 - Robertson
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Wheatley
4 - Bizzell
4 - McLean
3 - Godfrey
3 - Holland
2 - Moloney
2 - Dunn
2 - Brown
2 - Carroll
1 - Pickett

Next Week
After being torn up by Richmond what do you think Lloyd and Lucas are going to do to us? I'm going to slash my wrists in level three of the Corporate Dome ten minutes into the first quarter.

Monday, 11 June 2007

From the Rubble to the Ritz

It's obvious to anyone that Collingwood have become our customers over the last few years, but even if you account for actually winning a game last week did you really think we'd knock them over today? I tipped us but my performance in that field is so awful this year that you had to go for upsets in a round like this. But we did, so there you go. A neat win for sure, but not without it's nervous moments and certainly not without having the benefit of some truly shit umpiring going our way for the first time this season.

A moment please, before we begin, for my mate who bet on Matthew Bate to kick the first goal at 17-1. We know he's not great off a set shot but 40m out directly in front you would have expected him to kick it and set off wild scenes. Takes the mark, botches the kick and tears almost rolled inside the top deck of the Southern Stand. Could have set the tone for the whole day but instead provided the launching pad for a riotous first quarter where we played the Pies off the park and looked more and more like the Melbourne of old. When Simon Godfrey sidestepped half the Pies team and kicked a goal in the early minutes of the 2nd quarter we were 5+ goals up and looking comfortable. Naturally we all knew it'd go backwards, and it did, but as long as you get a result in the end who gives a toss?

From the "it's funny when it doesn't happen to us" file was the reaction of the Pies fans to the serious of farcical umpiring decisions across the first half which completely rorted them. Of course the problem becomes that once people are convinced there's a conspiracy against them (and fuck me if there's corruption in favor of us it's not exactly helping this year, I'd hate to see what it would be like if they were 'against' us) then they become even more irrational about things to the point where they're insufferably annoying and refuse to accept even the most blatant free-kick in history. The only thing worse is the insistence of claiming 'deliberate' on anything that goes even near the boundary line after their side has been pinged.

The sad fact about deliberate decisions is that they're so randomly dragged out that nobody has confidence in them - this does not mean that it's funny to shout "DELIBERATE" two quarters later, and after your side has been on the lucky end of one. Then there's the disgraceful human beings who were yelling it every time the ball even went NEAR the fucking boundary line. Gas the lot of them. Naturally the moment the third quarter began and they got a series of shocking decisions it was all applause and good tidings - the dirty hypocrites.

Congratulations to the umpires for rewarding this hypocrisy by turning around and rorting them again in the final term. The biggest winner of the day was Ben Holland who should have given away at least three free kicks to Anthony Rocca and somebody got away with all of them. At one point he had him in an armbar that would get you a start in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Somewhere Rickson Gracie was on his feet applauding the pure submission power of the man, but the umpire in charge had absolutely no interest in it. An absolute scandal but who cares eh fellow fans? *wink* *wink* Though had it been on the other hand we'd have been throwing molotov cocktails at Andrew Demetriou's car.

We really should have put the game away in the second quarter. Robertson had already added three before he hit the post and missed a couple of difficult ones, and both Paul Johnson (x2), Brock, Jones and Bizzell missed extremely kickable shots during the half. The trend continued in the third and by the time we turned for the last break we'd added 3.8 to 7.8 after the first quarter. They were within three points and you would have expected them to run right over the top - obviously nobody told Russell Robertson and in his finest performance since the greatest game ever he added another two in the opening minutes of the last term to give us breathing space. Davey kicked another and we were seemingly home.

Had "hey, it worked once in the NAB Cup" set-play where you handball it to Wheatley outside 50 and he belts one worked after a mark to James McDonald it could have been signed, sealed and delivered. As it was the Pies were still in it. Ben Johnson kicked one to make it interesting, after Brock copped a 50 for assaulting a row of seats with a football (we still love you son...) and Leon Davis did something for the first time all day to make it a 7pt game and it started to get a bit close for my liking. Brad Green then stood up with two massive marks inside 50 to repel the Pies and despite Nathan Jones briefly forgetting how to play and launching two farcical kicks out of defensive 50, we held on to win with Robbo booting his seventh after the siren and after some mutant had lobbed a can at him.

Cue the 20,000 legitimate fans we have going bananas, the 10,000 once a year bandwagon scum clapping politely and trying not to drop their prawn sandwiches and 40,000 other idiots going AWOL about the umpiring. Sadly there's only so much you can blame the officials for - was it their fault that Toovey fell on his arse twice in the last quarter and gifted Robbo goals? Is it part of the great AFL conspiracy that Travis Cloke can snag one from 50m out but miss from 15? What about when Simon Godfrey sells a dummy on your backline and kicks a goal? Idiots.

Random notable highlights of the day were quality spin-moves executed by Jones and McLean. It was like some terrible 80's video game where you pressed a button and your player darted around the opposition. Jones' in particular was quality - he needs to calm down a bit towards the end of the game but fark the New Next Big Thing is a top talent. Sylvia was also selling dummies left, right and centre - he is starting to wind up and if he can avoid getting injured for more than ten minutes at a time should feature prominently next year.

God Save The Queen? Well I don't support either of the institutions they represent but as it means a cheap four points every year then I'll be front row centre for it.

2007 ALLEN JAKOVICH MEDAL VOTES

5 - Robertson
4 - McLean
3 - Wheatley
2 - Holland (!?)
1 - Bate

Apologies to Bell, Bizzell, Bruce, Green, Johnson, Jones, McDonald, Sylvia and Ward. I thought Davey was fairly rotten on the day but you can never fault him for putting in the effort, and it's impossible to gauge defensive pressure by reading a stats sheet. So he's still tops in my book.

LEADERBOARD

19 - Bruce
15 - McDonald
15 - Green
10 - Rivers (Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
9 - Johnstone
9 - Jones
8 - Miller
8 - Davey
7 - Sylvia
7 - Bate
6 - Neitz
5 - Yze
5 - Robertson
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Wheatley
4 - Bizzell
4 - McLean
3 - Godfrey
2 - Moloney
2 - Holland
2 - Dunn
2 - Brown
2 - White
2 - Carroll
1 - Pickett

Crowd Watch
Mutants to a man. The Ugly Dave Gray award for worst sledge of the week goes to the clown who thought "Cameron BOOOOOOOOOOS" was quality comedy. The day I crack a million dollars in the lottery (which will be hard seeing as I never enter it..) is the day I buy a superbox and get away from 'the people' forever.

Next Week
Nothing - just when we start winning as well. The split round means a break until Friday week when we will SURELY rumble Richmond at the G. However now that you expect a victory they'll probably get rolled. At least those of you who like to get amongst it with opposition supporters can finally invite somebody to "look at the ladder".

Miller kicked six for Sandringham but is as unlikely to repeat that in the 1's as I am of being elected Secretary General of the UN so he can stay there.

Next Year
Whether or not we end up with a new coach or not (and the way we're going ND will pull off the biggest comeback since Lazarus and survive) there is everything to look forward to next year. Barring another black death injury plague McLean, Sylvia, Bate, Jones, Dunn, Petterd, Dunn and Moloney are going to run riot over the next couple of years - all we need is another FF option for when Neitz's body inevitably falls apart, a CHF (although... Bate?) and another key defender to play the Holland role when he is inevitably given the big A at the end of the year.

Anything else to add? Err, we're 14 games away from winning the flag if you want to look at it that way...

Saturday, 2 June 2007

We Fought The War, And We Won (a game..)

Now that's what you call relief. You can keep your 'relaxation sessions' with impoverished Ukranian migrants in dubious Oakleigh warehouses, today was all the stress relief I ever needed and it was free. Ten weeks into the season and we have finally won a game. Had you told me before the season started that we would be 1-9 then I would have dangled myself off the Westgate Bridge with a barbed wire noose, yet I will unashamedly say that at the final siren today I almost cried. The season is gone but the monkey is well and truly off the back - the side we saw in the first three-quarters today is only related to the one of the first three of last week by the most tenuous thread.

I didn't tip us today because having been burnt in three of the last four weeks I decided that at least if we were going to lose to the Crows - which we usually do - I may as well get something out of it. Having picked Freo last night as well this effectively ends any chance I have of coming out with anything for the year, but to be entirely honest who gives half a toss about tipping when you've just won your first competitive game in 9 months? NINE FREAKING MONTHS. Since we last won a game I have moved house and gotten a new job for god's sake. Were I an advocate of karma I'd say it was all payback for my massive spray against the crunt sitting behind me at the St. Kilda finals game.

Interesting team news on the Thursday night with Brad Miller supposedly out with a wrist injury. Now I'll take their word for it because surely they've got no reason to blatantly fabricate an injury but it all seemed a bit dubious to me. Kind of the football equivalent of "you've got no idea, but we don't want to sack you and have everyone realised we farked up by hiring you in the first place, so have a transfer to somebody else's department!" Except that instead of being sent to another department he was instead exiled to the middle deck of the Ponsford Stand. Ben Holland was with the injured players as well - does this mean the poor bastage can't even get a game for Sandringham? Into the side instead came Bate (yes please) and Sylvia (more of the same if you will).

First quarter, and despite going in four points behind we were looking good. Brad Green was racking up possessions like they were going out of fashion and taking courageous marks all over the place. He would go on to play his best game ever and dispel any suggestion (often made by me) that he should be on the trade block at the end of the season. Bell and Bruce were also cutting it up, with Paul Wheatley (of all people) chipping in with a cameo performance of epic proportions. Granted we were lucky that the Crows botched a few perfectly good opportunities on goal, but moments like Bell running one of them down in the square after he had marked and tried to play on will loom large in any highlights package of our season.

The second quarter was when it all came together. Suddenly the Melbourne side which we know and (sometimes) love exploded into life and ran riot across the rotting corpse of an Adelaide side shocked into submission by a ferocious attack on the ball that hasn't been seen for so long. Cam Bruce opened the account before Jones, Davey, Petterd, Bate, Robertson, Wheatley and Neitz all joined in to kick goals in what was our best quarter in a long, long time. The key moment was when Neitz found himself in a difficult position and spotted Wheatley up 50m out directly in front - goal and suddenly we were going into the long break 36pts to the good and looking comfortable. Could it last? Well frankly yes - they had so comprehensively played the Crows off the park in the 2nd quarter that you would have been forgiven for thinking that they had temporarily swapped places on the ladder.

The expected Crows comeback came not in the third quarter, where despite Mark Ricciuto exploding into life we managed to extend our lead further, but in the last. Finally after a day spent tormenting the Crows forwards, and watching them botch most of the good chances they did end up with, the Carroll/Bell/Ward/Wheatley/Bizzell combination started to crack under increased pressure as the midfield tired and the ball started going inside the Adelaide 50 at a rapid rate. They, to a man, had great games on the day but everyone knew that something had to give when the Crows only had 5 goals until 3/4 time. With the Adelaide midfield finally getting on top in the last quarter they mounted a comeback that threatened to rip the heart of of every one of us. Had they overtuned a 44pt deficit and gotten up it would not only have been one of the great comebacks, but would have been responsible for mass suicides across the ground - most notably mine.

I've said it before, my faith in last quarter leads was shattered as an impressionable 10 years old when Essendon reeled in a 46pt deficit a few minutes in the last to win by a point in Round 6, 1992. So despite the protestations of all around that we couldn't possibly get rolled I was having none of it. So as the Crows added their fourth of the quarter at the 13 minute mark and it all looked like falling apart in spectacular fashion the heart-rate went up a notch and we started to realise that we could be on the end of the biggest fiasco of all time. Suddenly the boys got nervous and forgot how to play football - Adelaide, being the well drilled machine they are, sensed fear and pounced on it. Luckily despite losing way in drastic fashion we scragged it out long enough for the ball to land in Neitz's hands 50m on the boundary line - the great man belted a great captain's goal and we were home. Or so you would think. The Crows goaled again straight away to make it officially 'interesting', but then decided not to bother manning up and allowed us to spend the last few minutes chipping it around the backline and running the clock down.

Siren and wild scenes. I couldn't possibly sing the song given the situation we're in (and remember as much as Richmond fans may object you should lay off the song unless you make the finals) but the outpouring of emotion was wonderful. Those of you who were there are the heart and soul of the club - and those who have jumped off because of the losses can piss off and start following Rugby Union or the crunting Melbourne Victory as far as I'm concerned.

In a bizarre twist I was sitting two rows behind Ricky Petterd's mum. This became obvious when she lost the plot as he kicked his goal and then proceeded to let out squeals of delight every time he went near it for the rest of the game, tempered only by the Footy Record she had wedged in her mouth to chew on in moments of tension. At the final siren they waved at each other - aww isn't it sweet or something?

Crowd Watch
23k. Another financial disaster - but some things are more important than cash.

2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes

At long last! Votes that mean something!

5 - Brad Green
4 - Daniel Bell
3 - Cameron Bruce
2 - Paul Wheatley (!?!)
1 - Nathan Jones

Varying degrees of apologies to (deep breath here, there are a few) Bate, Bizzell, Brown, Carroll, Davey, Johnson, Johnstone, McDonald, McLean, Neitz, Petterd, Ward and White.

Leaderboard

19 - Bruce
15 - McDonald
15 - Green
10 - Rivers (Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
9 - Johnstone
9 - Jones
8 - Miller
8 - Davey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Bate
6 - Neitz
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
4 - Bizzell
3 - Godfrey
2 - Moloney
2 - Dunn
2 - Brown
2 - White
2 - Wheatley
2 - Carroll
1 - Pickett

Next Week
Collingwood on Queens Birthday Monday. I thought we could take them even before our performance today so I'm even more convinced that we're a shot now. Having seen them play live last night I think they'll justifiably go in as favourites but we definately have the ammunition to do them in. It may all hang on the backline again given that both Rocca and Davis were running riot against the Dockers.

12 in a row? 12-9, a shock finals birth and a blockbusting Premiership campaign? You must be fucking kidding - but let's go with it anyway. Maybe we're engaged in some wild reality TV-esque version of The Club where only the threat of a player revolt is stopping N.D from getting the sack, somebody's been up their mum and their legless sister and thinks they've killed their dad, and we're going to turn it all around and win the flag? Maybe not.

Anything else to declare? I'm too choked up to fully dissect the events of the day. My broken heart (football related only..) is ever so slightly mended.