Saturday 29 April 2006

Take it to the limit

Good news. The battle for 15th has been won. We've faced down the worst team in the world and fallen over the line. Where does that leave our season? And why exactly are North so bad when they have a decent list? Don't ask me I'm just the color commentator on these things.

Yes, we won. And I'm not arguing that for a second, but anyone who saw the game will know that North Melbourne were a joke for half the game today. We were equally as bad in the first, but they were a different class of slop in the second quarter. Get your "Best of Fitzroy 1996" video out and have a close look because that's probably the only time you'll ever see anything as bad. Kicking backwards, kicking sideways, back and forth they went. Turnovers, missed kicks, farcical decision making - it was all covered. For the first time this season we looked deadly, but it was being put on a platter. Predictably enough they came out after halftime and destroyed us with four goals in an eight minute burst before running out of steam again. I didn't like our chances going into the last quarter, and when they were up by two goals fifteen minutes into the 4th it looked as if we were going to get rumbled by the shittest team around. Nathan Thompson belted us around the ground and then got dragged with a couple of minutes left. Wheatley belts one from 50+, Davey kicks two, James McDonald slides one in from an angle and we were in front. Two shots missed from North and we'd won. Cheers to North for taking Thompson off when he probably would be have won the game single handedly the way he was going.

The crowd looked shithouse but turned out to be just over 30000. That's the new MCG for you - god knows what it would have looked like the night we got 18k against Fremantle in '99. We had the pleasure of sitting in front of two of the biggest scrags ever to have lived. I can't do justice to their performance in words. Get a copy of the Fat Pizza movie and take notice of the performance of Shazza the bogan and you'll be in the ballpark. The highlight of their performance was during the tense moments of the last where they were shrieking orgasmically whenever anything happened and yelling "Come on.. COME ON" a lot. You feel she may have said it many times before. Indeed she probably has 8 kids called Wayne and calls them by their last name to tell them apart. I think I was more pleased by the victory just because it shut them the fuck up for a few seconds. Idiots.

Credit also to the North fans who showed up and booed Byron Pickett for the first quarter. They didn't even know why they were booing him and had totally forgotten to do it by the second quarter. Much like our fans who slaughtered Woewodin after it was US WHO SACKED HIM I didn't understand it. If the point is that he's a thug then I won't be out there to debate against it, but it was strange that you didn't hear the same rejects doing their tits when he was butchering people in their jumper a few years back. Much like the people who boo wildly when the other team rushes a behind, and then applaud heartily when their own side does it a minute later it's final proof that football fans are idiots. I love the game, and I love my team but god knows if I was rich I'd be sitting in my own corporate box somewhere and having nothing to do with the plebs. Apologies to any plebs who may be reading.

Meanwhile have you noticed that we haven't won a game comfortably for a while? Two wins and a loss by under a goal in the last three games, on top of 1, 4 and 10 point wins at the arse end of last season. It's either a thriller or we get belted - doesn't that fill you with confidence. June 13th, 2005 against Collingwood (45pts) was the last time we really put a team to the sword and gave us a relaxed last ten minutes of the game. We were ten goals up against Carlton at 3/4 time last year but managed to almost screw it up and only won by three. I'll take any win but my doctor requests that for the sake of my blood pressure and heartrate that we win a game by 90 at some point in the near future.

Public Apology Corner
* You may have seen some suggestion in this space before the season began that Byron Pickett would be a dud this season. I heartily apologise, as his performances in the last month have shown that he's still got a shitload left in him. Another top performance today. I love the man.

* For all the times I suggested Ben Holland could be used in the defence I hereby declare that I was WRONG. When he dropped that mark in the 2nd quarter and gifted Brent Harvey a goal I lost the plot.

2005 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes

5 - Pickett (LEGEND! CULT FIGURE!)
4 - Bruce (Will win this award by a million points. Consistently good every week, even when those around him fall apart)
3 - Davey (Important goals, good work outside 50 and a shitload of disposals. ULTRA important player in this side)
2 - Yze (Best game since Queens Birthday last year)
1 - Johnstone (Superb around the ground as usual, and his lead and mark from FF in the second quarter was a ripper)

Apologies to McDonald, Brown and Bartram


20 - Cameron Bruce
12 - Byron Pickett
8 - Aaron Davey
7 - Colin Sylvia
4 - Nathan Carroll
4 - Jared Rivers
4 - Travis Johnstone
3 - David Neitz
3 - James McDonald
2 - Brent Moloney
2 - Brock McLean
2 - Adem Yze
2 - Brad Miller
1 - Daniel Ward
1 - Nathan Brown

Next week - Geelong at the MCG. Friday night @ 7.40pm. Come and talk to me about our season being back in action and on fire if we win that. Until then you won't convince me.

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