Big Book of Footy Stereotypes 2005

We are in a very elite club. Stand and applaud because apart from you and I there are apparently only 225,998 Melbourne fans in Australia. Sounds pretty bad eh? Well at least we're in front of Footscray and North, which is more than can be said for the last time they did a survey.

Mind you I'm not sure I trust any survey which declares that Footscray have "lost" 50000 fans in that time. Where did they all go? Did they interview legitimate fans? Or just any bogan who picked up the phone?

Meanwhile the survey came up with several 'alarming' suggestions about our fans,

• 17% more likely to have a Diploma or Degree

• 20% more likely to own their own home

• 13% more likely to believe that threats to the environment are exaggerated

• 25% more likely to be more interested in their job than their house

• 15% more likely to drink more wine now than they used to (drinkers 18+)

• 38% more likely to have been to a BYO restaurant in the last three months 

• 21% more likely to have played a poker machine in the last three months

• 16% more likely to have read a novel in the last three months

• 17% more likely to have had a weekend away in the last three months

I haven't had any of those bar the novel and the caring more about the job. Am I supporting the wrong team? Please advise.

I'm especially worried about the Essendon findings,

• 33% more likely to be aged 14-24

• 23% more likely to have one child aged under 16 in the household

Are these two linked? Call the police.