Blue Sunday

How does it feel, to treat me like you do. ENOUGH SAID.

It's been a wonderful weekend. So far I've been poisoned by a Chinese restaurant and accidentally smashed a $500 electronic implement. Surely a showing of the mighty Dees will make me feel better? Well, maybe if you wound the clock back a couple of years - because having to watch them this season is more likely to make you piff yourself off the Bolte Bridge than anything else.

But you never know. In a week where favourites were getting turned over left, right and centre stranger things COULD happen. But not to us. Even walking in to see Freo 35 points in front of Port in the first quarter wasn't enough to convince me that we were any danger of nicking the four points. Of course with West Coast winning yesterday some will question whether we really wanted the four points or not, and I'm guessing that they were some of the 15,000 of our fans who didn't bother to turn up on the day. Obviously it was a bit cold for the softcock brigade, and of the 21k crowd we would have been lucky to have had 8000 at our own home game. Imagine if North down the bottom as well? There would have been 10,000 there - it would have been like a Brisbane Bears tribute match. Ironic given that we were watching two of the teams most likely to go tits up and go the way of the Bears.

Took them 47 seconds to kick a goal. That's never a good sign. When do we ever do that? A couple of minutes later Miller got his first and then it was time for a slopfest. Daniel Bell had one of the biggest nightmare runs of all time and Corey Jones kicked three in a row on him - he was doing so well last year, what did Ben Johnson do to him when he destroyed him with that hit at the end of last year? Alistair Nicholson forgot how to run after he did his knee, has Bell forgotten how to play footy after being flattened? His position in our (allegedly) glorious future has gone from 'assured' to 'questionable' since the season began. It was like the second quarter last week all over again, but this time we didn't even get to see 1 decent quarter before we lost the plot. By the time it was, thankfully, over we were down 45-9 and the handful of us who had actually shown up had lost the will to live. Sometimes I wonder if there isn't something to be said for the Jonestown solution of handing around the laced softdrink and waiting for everybody to drop.

Speaking of Joneses, for the last month Nathan has played like he's Simon Godfrey. Running around with intent, laying tackles, going hard and getting the ball but disposing like a 12-year-old. Dare I say he'd benefit from a week in the 2's? I know he's been a lovechild over the last couple of years but surely nobody is above a wakeup call. And while we're on the topic of love children let's talk about Juice Newton. I think we all want him to play as a forward and prosper, but the way he's going he'll be lucky to make it to the end of the season let alone next year. Sure, he kicked two goals and one of them was an absolute corker but how many times did he cock it up? I'm not trying to be harsh, but 2 goals from 20 contests isn't much to write home about when one is an admittedly good looking but speculative stab from the boundary line and the other is a free-kick. We need a lead up, marking forward and at the moment he's not it. Fair enough that they leave him there for the rest of the season, because it's not like anybody else is going to step up and play the position but again he'll need to do a lot to convince me that he's anything more than the answer to a future trivia question.

The second quarter was better, but it would have been hard for it to be any worse than the first. Miller got his second early on before North responded (obviously). Lynden Dunn got reported twice in twenty seconds for pissy contact with Brent Harvey - he might cop a reprimand for the first one, but if he gets done for the second you may as well stop watching AFL right now. That was about as close as he, or anybody else, got to Boomer as he cut us to shreds on the way to 27 touches and a couple of goals. That's what a class player does. That's what we're lacking. It's what, sadly, McLean/Moloney/Jones etc.. are never going to be. We sort of broke even with them until half-time, but when you're coming off a vomitorium of an opening term that's not much to write home about. 38 down at halftime. Either we were going to claw our way to respectability or get poleaxed. The way I was feeling we may as well have gotten flogged just to give me something more amusing to look back on once we're winning games regularly again in 2014.

All things told we actually won the second half. Big whoop, let's hold a street parade and pretend everything is progressing swimmingly. North put the cue in the rack with such severity that the rack was almost torn from the wall. We certainly started to play a lot better, flowing football but only because they let us. There's nothing to get excited about there, even when Sylvia finally did something in the 4th quarter and cut the margin four goals with plenty of time on the clock you knew we weren't going to seriously challenge. Morton added another to keep it interesting but that was it.

The only thing more interesting was the amount of players who burnt their teammates in better scoring positions inside 50. Everyone was up to it and frankly it was giving all 27 of our fans who showed up the shits. Is everyone so worried that they're going to get the arse at the end of the year that they're trying to rack up goals to save themselves? Our defence - good again given the fact that we were poleaxed out of the middle - have earnt their spots, but there's so many questions around the forwards and the midfielders that it's no surprise everyone's trying to play for themselves. Let's get that out of the system.

Kontroversy Korner
Simon Buckley is giving me the shits. Is there any danger that he might actually dispose of a ball one day instead of dancing about trying beat everyone like he's in a 1970's disco. You can't tell me that other clubs don't sit down, watch the video of us play and identify the fact that whenever he gets it he'll try and step his way out of it EVERY FREAKING TIME. A perceptive person (who may very well have been me) was heard to text the Triple M commentators and point out that nobody should be fooled by him because he does it everytime. Another equally perceptive person of another name (again, I'm not denying anything) agreed. You can get 25 possessions every week if you want but I refuse to be impressed until some of them do something other than move a lateral handball, go backwards to a free man or end in falling over and being pinged for holding the ball. His attempted play-on from the kick-in was something else all together. God forbid he ever gets some confidence about him he should be a handy player - send him to whichever psychologist Miller has been working with this season because that guy has done wonders. At least he's assured himself a place in every "Footy Blunders and Fuckups" highlights video that will ever be released from here on in.

Kontroversy Korner II
Is Bruce finished as anything more than a pinch hitter? I like the guy, and I'm still convinced he'll be one part of the captaincy duo next season but can we ever expect anything major out of him again? I think not. Sit back and enjoy a couple more seasons of bit part play and the occasional piece of quality but don't expect anything earth shattering.

Kommunism Korner
Stay away from the reds they said, and when it comes to Matthew Bate it appears everyone's been given that instruction. Never before has a man had so many times when he's been on his own and nobody will kick it to him. Sure, he klangs it most of the time but maybe getting it with nobody within two hundred metres will help. Any danger he can play primarily as a forward anyway?

Farcebook Watch
There's an application where you can put a picture of your favourite player on your page. Not to be indecisive or anything but so far this year mine has gone,

* Pre-Season: Brock (sacked because Rivers is almighty)
* Round 1-Queens Birthday: Rivers (sacked due to being out for the year)
* QB-this week: Green (sacked because I can't bring myself to have a favourite player who is actually popular)
* Now-?: Paul Johnson (Obscure! Playing out of his skin! I think it's the first time I've ever listed a ruckman as my favourite player)

In fact, given that Rivers is still the man overall I present a brief history of the people I decided were my favourite players at any given time.

1990 - Brent Heaver
1991 - midseason 1991 Rod Keogh
Midseason 1991-94 Allen Jakovich
1995-97 - Post-Jakovich depression
1998-99 - Jamie Shanahan (brief, sick flirtation with Troy Longmuir fandom during '99)
2000 - Shane Woewodin (good season to jump on, cheers for the 200-1 Brownlow odds pre-season)
2001 - No serious attachments
2002-03 - Chris Lamb
2004-2006 - Philthy Phil
2007-2008 - Rivers

What a lineup. Maybe they can all come together (Rivers excepted) for the tribute match I'm setting up for myself of all our 'forgotten' players from 1990 to the present? What a star studded night it will be when Craig Greg Hutchinson's team (CORRECTED - watching us play makes me think of ambulance chasing wankers) takes on the Mark Riley All-Stars on a Tuesday afternoon at the Junction Oval.

2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes

5 - Shane Valenti
4 - Paul Johnson
3 - Brad Miller
2 - Stefan Martin
1 - Aaron Davey

Apologies to Chris Johnson, McDonald, Morton, Warnock and Whelan

No apologies to Jones, Sylvia or Newton.

Leaderboard

Again Jones retains his lead despite putting in an ordinary one. My money's still on Green, though if you took Miller at 10's as listed in the comments of the last post then you'd be happy. Over to our betting division with all the odds for the rest of the year,

Jakovich Medal
$2.50 - Brad Green
$3.25 - Nathan Jones
$4.00 - Cameron Bruce
$6.00 - Brad Miller
$40 - Matthew Bate
$50 - James McDonald, Paul Johnson, Chris Johnson
$100 - Colin Garland

Seecamp Medal

Could be ready to see a small man defender boilover?

$2.20 - C.Johnson
$3.50 - Garland
$10 - Whelan
$50 - Wheatley, Martin, Warnock

Hilton Medal

Take your pick of three. I'd probably be on Valenti from here.

$3.00 - Wonaeamirri, Morton, Valenti
$12 - Martin
$50 - Maric
$1.5 million - Weetra

Remember, when gambling is no longer fun (like if you're betting on Melbourne) walk away. And now, before we forget, the actual leaderboard.

23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean, Cameron Bruce
20 - Brad Green
17 - Brad Miller
14 - Matthew Bate
13 - Paul Johnson
12 - James McDonald, Colin Garland (Joint Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year), Chris Johnson (Joint Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Lynden Dunn, Aaron Davey
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Cale Morton
8 - Shane Valenti
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram, Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll, Matthew Warnock, Jeff White, Simon Buckley, Paul Wheatley, Stefan Martin
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar, Adem Yze

Did you know 46 different players have recieved votes in the four years of Demonblog? Stand by post-season for an in-depth statistical analysis of the DB years that will make the crowd go absolutely mild.

Banner Watch
The "Make A Banner" competition was a bit of a flop, which is no surprise given that there were 13 people in the ground. Pity we didn't enter with MCNAMEE FEARS STYNES because behind a cheersquad with 19 people in it you wouldn't have had much trouble being seen.

May I humbly suggest for any North fans who might be reading that they go for an exceedingly obscure musical reference and make a banner saying - IT'S GRIMA NORTH. When you win something from it I want royalties.

Next Week
Essendon at the 'G. The only positive to this is that we've escaped a trip to the freaking Dome and the only game where you have to buy a reserved seat even if you're a 17 game member. The negative is that despite the fact that 6 weeks ago we were pencilling this in as a 'maybe' game, suddenly they're playing great football and are going to smash us like a guitar. I'll be most interested in seeing how our backline goes against them, because believe me there will little else to hold your interest other than trying to work out at which point of the third quarter you should bite down on that cyanide pill you've been hoarding all season.

Deathbed Football

First things first, if I may, a personal story and a warning to the kids of Australia from all of us here at Demonblog. When you're meant to work at an event where the whole purpose is to stand on your feet all day and talk to people DO NOT go out the night before, get home at 6 and go straight there on an hours sleep. It will never achieve anything other than perhaps a stroke.

Sure, I survived the day - and in fact I'd say I dominated (especially during a lift breakdown, people trapped crisis situation) but the real problem was that due to unsavoury scheduling of the Freo game I couldn't go home and sleep - I had to wait for the match to finish first. Given that I don't have Foxtel due to my impoverished status (cue a "We Are The World" style charity single with appearances from John Northey and Simon Eishold) and by this time was physically unable to get in a car and drive anywhere else to watch it options were few and far between.

The last time I completely missed a game due to falling asleep after being awake for god knows how long was when we beat Carlton at Optus Oval in 2001. This means I missed Luke Williams' best ever game, which is probably a factor in why I spent the next four years having a breakdown every time I saw him in the selected side. I went home, and much like last night climbed into bed with the radio on. Next thing I woke up, we'd won by a goal and Peter Walsh had pocketed 3 Brownlow votes for getting 24 touches and Scott Camporeale had none for 33. Sucked in hard. Then there was the game I completely missed at Optus Oval in 2004 because I had to get off the tram, throw up on a St Kilda Road nature strip and go home halfway there due to the worst hangover anyone has ever suffered. Hey, at least I tried - which is more than you can say for the team that day.

So, once again here I was listening to the radio from bed (and what does it say about the standard of the AM band when it was easier to listen to SEN through the AFL website than the radio right next to me?) but the crucial difference was that this time I had the alarm set for 4.40 so I wouldn't miss any of the action if I did somehow fall asleep. Which I didn't. Game on, and suddenly we were flying Air Demons - 30,000 feet high, clear skies and a potential massacre on the cards.

From the first bounce it sounded like Freo were an absolute five alarm shambles. After we got the first goal Chris Tarrant did what he does best and missed one from 20m out directly in front - then it was all one way traffic for the rest of the quarter. Miller got one, Newton avoided his set shot yips by booting one from the boundary, Morton got a second and PJ joined in as well. 31-2 at quarter time - not bad eh? Either that or a massive setup for them to do what we did to them earlier in the season and pull off a grand comeback. They couldn't be that bad for four quarters could they? And god knows we couldn't be that good for four quarters, so the case was pretty clear for the comeback. Then, when the commentators started talking about how a Melbourne win would mean the two Perth teams would be bottom of the ladder 'at the end of today' it became even more obvious what was going to happen.

Five minutes into the second quarter Mark Jamar used one of his four kicks for the day to slot our sixth straight, and given that he's never had more than five kicks in a match it was surely an omen of good times to come. Bollocks it was. From that moment on it was a full scale mid-air emergency as Air Melbourne plummetted towards the ground at a million miles an hour, and all the deployed oxygen masks in the world weren't going to save us. From 38-2 we lost the plot so spectacularly that at half time it was 39 apiece. Clearly the Freo side who were playing Three Stooges-esque football in the first quarter had somehow swapped into our jumpers during the quarter time break because it all went horribly wrong. When Pavlich, who couldn't get near the thing in the first quarter because his midfield were too busy falling over, started kicking goals you wrote us off on the spot.

But level scores at half-time isn't so bad - unless you've backed the quarter quad. The boys go into the sheds, sit down to regroup and be asked "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME WERE YOU DOING OUT THERE?" before formulating a plan for avoiding complete demolition. Plenty of time for Captain Bailey and First Officer Bruce to work out some way of avoiding being portrayed in an episode of Air Crash Investigation. They already managed to save the good ship MFC from one disaster against Freo this year, so why not again? After all, as every man and their dog was surely pointing out, we were almost ten goals better off this time than then.

And that piece of sporting trivia counted for precisely nothing when Shaun "I didn't know he was alive" McManus goaled about 20 seconds in to put the Dockers in front. Miller responded, but once again from there it was all Freo for the next 25 long, painful and drawn-out minutes. From 46-45, by three quarter time it was 81-47. Where had I seen this before? It was truly painful listening, so I'd hate to think what it was like to watch or see in person. Lest we forget that we've supposedly got the best record of any of the Melbourne teams in Perth. Fat lot of good that does when not one single player can hit a target.

At one point I think Antoni Grover was on world record pace for the most interceptions inside defensive 50 in one match. I heard his name used more times in the second half than I ever have before in total. You couldn't blame the forwards, they just couldn't get near it.

Final quarter - 34 points down. What chance the Dockers fall apart in the final term again? That the Bailey/Bruce machine pull out some unlikely crash landing with no wheels and save 29,000 odd lives before recieving a heroes reception? Absolutely none. 54 points it was, and that was with two cheap as chips junk time goals at the end when they'd stopped with shock at actually having won a match.

So, down went the Slop 747 with all hands on board. It reminded me of one of my favourite movies of all time, where the final scene is a jumbo jet stacking it to the tune of "Do The Hustle". Make of that what you will.

Just dandy. I hate this season so much.

2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
Given that I was listening to the game in a state of mental distress approaching that of a terror suspect at Guantanomo Bay I have no actual capacity to deliver votes. Given that I don't trust the newspapers in the slightest I refuse to take their votes either, so what I'll do is wait for the BigFooty votes thread to run out of steam and take their top five instead, so if you're reading and want to try and rig the voting so that your chosen lovechild gets a mention then get on with it.

UPDATE

5 - Chris Johnson
4 - Brad Miller
3 - Simon Buckley
2 - Shane Valenti
1 - Aaron Davey

Leaderboard
As above. Brace for updates.

UPDATE - Jones retains his lead despite putting in another ordinary performance.

23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
21 - Cameron Bruce
20 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
14 - Brad Miller
12 - James McDonald
12 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
12 - Chris Johnson
11 - Lynden Dunn
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Simon Buckley
3 - Paul Wheatley
3 - Shane Valenti
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Adem Yze
1 - Stefan Martin

Draft Watch
Ok, so we got slaughtered in the ruck today. I guess that means we're going to be subjected to a Naitanui fest over the next week or so. Personally I think the match proved exactly why we should stay away from him. Yes, we need a ruckman blah blah blah but what about around the grounds? Where was the disposal there? What were we doing when the ball actually hit the deck? Fark all and nothing by the looks of it. And what about up front? Miller tried hard and Newton did enough to keep himself in the mix for another week but if we don't get a big KPP up there soon we'll fail to score one week. If there's a ruckman that they can get with the second pick, or if they can lure Warnock over from Perth, then more power to them but right now we desperately need an elite midfielder or key position forward more than we need somebody who can jump 25 foot in the air and not much else.

Kasualty Korner
Rivers, Moloney, Green, McLean and Robertson would have been fairly handy you'd think.

Rulebook Corner
(AKA: "How KB is going to wreck the game this week and then spend his entire radio career trying to justify it")
This has absolutely nothing to do with our game, but given that everyone else will be all over it this week I'd like to talk about the Joel Bowden affair at the MCG the other day. For those of you who didn't see it he basically wasted thirty seconds by deliberately rushing behinds. Cue journalist outrage and talkback meltdowns. It's the same theory behind a rushed behind in any circumstances, the trained seals in the crowd boo when the opposition does it but rise to applaud when their own player heroically runs one through.

And so it begins. The myriad suggestions on how to stop something that has happened once in a million years. This article contends that the three point for a rushed behind rule should come in during the regular season. Pure horseshit. People are always using the "what if this happened in the Grand Final?" argument to try and change the rules, so I'm going to use it to try and stop a rule. What happens in this supposed Grand Final (which Melbourne will presumably not be involved with) when it's 2 points the difference and in the last second somebody gets the ball and has a ping at the goals, the defender legitimately sticks his arm on the line to stop it and it flies through the points. Is the goal umpire then expected to pay a 3pt penalty and cost the team a flag? Do we not have enough subjective rulings in the game already (holding the ball, deliberate etc..) without throwing another one in and confusing everyone.

Let's not forget that the goal umpire has to stand right there after he's made a decision. Field umpires might cause sections of the crowd to threaten to kill them, but they're generally running around in the middle and get a police escort off the ground. Goal umpires are generally expected to stand in front of toothless mutant cheersquads with their backs turned after they've made their decisions. Surely they have a union to speak out against this potential cavalcade of flying cans. If rushing behinds isn't a good look for our game what is it when bodyguards have to flank a man in a white coat like he's the Prime Minister of Israel going for a stroll through the Gaza Strip.

Here's your solution. Once the player kicking in has played on he must kick the ball forward. Play the Sale of the Century theme for me because that's got it all covered. There's no reason why you would want to kick backwards from that situation, and it would be simple for an umpire to judge whether or not a cross field kick has moved forward or back. Or what about after they've played on making it that their next kick must go 15m no matter if it hits a target or not - that's simply adapting a current rule to a new situation. Err, anyway that's enough serious football discussion.

Next Week
North at the MCG on Sunday at 2.10. Earlier in the year when we were supershit they beat us, but without really getting out of first gear. We might be playing better now, but so are they. Given that they're right in the middle of the pack for the bottom half of the eight, and in danger of dropping out at any moment, I fail to see how they can possibly take us lightly enough to get rolled.

Then it's Essendon (loss), Geelong (oh my god), West Coast (surely), Port (HOME WIN) and Richmond. The draft can get stuffed, I'd love to wreck Richmond's finals chances in Round 22 again - it'll give me happy memories of Round 22, 1998. Except that then we were playing finals the next week, and this time our players will be getting arrested for being drunk and disorderly on the Monday. Like sands through an hourglass, these are the seasons of our life...

Good Luck With That

Last night the club rang me up (i.e somebody paid by the club to ring me up) to try and get me into the $200 raffle they're running at the moment. At the time I was of sound mind and realised I couldn't afford it. Then this morning I woke up and decided that I'd actually like to win $40,000 and handed over the cash.

Presumably I will win nothing, however if I do this site totally needs to sponsor some shit next year. What about a statue of Nathan Carroll kicking his one and only career goal in Round 2, 2006 against Footscray. We'll get it just at the moment where, after getting his 50m penalty to put him in range, he hit the wobbliest helicopter punt ever and it somehow went through.

Spot the Demonblog

Surely too easy...

Stormy Weather

(Yeah, I know the roof was closed but in my heart it was pissing down)

Well, after a week off to do something important with our lives footy is back. Remember back to the glorious days of, err, a fortnight ago? We were in the winners circle and everything was looking up. Then as soon as you started to relax a bit it turned out that we were expected to show up and play the 2nd best team in the competition. Arse.

When we first met the Dogs this season, in that farce of a practice match at Bendigo where the lights went out, I was convinced that they were a bottom three side. This is why I never claim to be a real analyst of football, but at least I can't be accused of bias considering I had us in there as well. Anyway, as we've all seen - to devestating effect in Round 2 - they are quite good actually and have only dropped 1.5 games this year. Well slap my ass and call me a bitch, I didn't see that one coming. So, they're quite good. Obviously we were always going to lose so I chose to invoke the "Mercado/Gary Davies from TAB Sportsbet Plan" where the degree of success/respectability in a loss is measured on whether or not we beat the point spread. This week it was +42.5 points, so that was the target.

To be entirely honest the game was so freaking awful that I'm struggling to remember much of what happened. It was one of those days where the top side shows up, never gets out of first gear, gives their fans a bit of a scare and then do just enough to fall over the line because the rotten side don't have the tools to match them. The first quarter was eminently forgettable, mainly due to the fact that we didn't freaking score until the last minute. However, despite the fact that we were generally getting slaughtered out of the middle despite Jamar usually having first touch, we weren't completely blown out of the water early on. Credit for this must go to the defence who have been outstanding over the past few weeks. One of these days Garland, Warnock, Martin and Whelan (Rivers? Consult your local emergency department unfortunately) might earn the right to be called The New Jurassic Pack. Now that the last one has broken up and Nathan Carroll is preparing to take his wacky haircut world tour to the arenas of the WAFL, the much maligned likes of Warnock and Garland have stepped right into the breach and are probably our most important element while we're unable to kick massive scores.

So, with the midfield average at best in the first (Jones turning over everything he got his hands on) and the defenders holding it all together what about the forwards? What forwards? Miller was doing great work when it hit the deck but god forbid anyone could manage to find him as a target? Green was down there early on for some reason and couldn't get any of it either. Sylvia started up front but was soon thrust into the midfield. Can we just get over this wet dream of him being an elite midfielder already? It's not going to happen. Wonaeamirri seemed to have deliberately been sent up the ground and was taking a lot of marks 60 or 70 metres out from goal - and that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing because if you've got one trick and everyone else discovers it then you're rooted.

Speaking of people who might be a bit short in the trick department let's discuss the case of one Michael J. Newton. On the strength of the first quarter alone I found myself hoping that the car he won (well, won the use of anyway) for the 2007 Mark of the Year has a sweet Sat Nav system so that he can find his way to the nearest Centrelink on the first Tuesday after the season ends. Actually let's make it Wednesday, because you can't expect anyone to drive the day after Mad Monday. It's one thing to be a forward and not get a touch at all, but it's another to get the pill and botch things so seriously that even in a season where we're rivalling Fitzroy 1996 for ineptitute you get a bronx cheer from our own supporters when you finally get something right. Ok, so he was getting the ball 50m out on the boundary line but after first trying to square one into what was basically a team meeting of Bulldogs players, he then marked again in the same spot, burnt Sylvia on a lead and proceeded to thump it out on the full. Sad. We all had high hopes for him (well, medium level hopes anyway) based on the second half of last season but frankly he's just not going to make it. His most important goal should be to play two more matches for the rest of the season so he can overtake Leigh Newton's 13 games to be our most famous Juice ever. He redeemed himself - a bit - later on with a couple of marks and a goal but if he's the future then I'm a busty supermodel.

Anyway, so somehow we went into the second quarter within striking range. Didn't last long. When Will Minson, the king of slops, is marking over you and kicking goals you know it's not your day. They got the first two before Chris Johnson scored a cheap fifty to kick his first career goal and cut the margin to 20. Buckley and Green both added one, but Cross and Akermanis cancelled them out and we were a goal worse off than we were at quarter time but still hanging on and not getting blown out of the water.

Green got his second in the first couple of minutes of the third and you thought "well, maybe we could..." and then in true Melbourne fashion we failed to add another one for the quarter. Here's to a big 2.4 to that end (Coventry?) for the day. There was a lot of to and fro but the fact of the matter was that Footscray are a highly tuned outfit operating at a much higher capacity than we were. When they turned it over we'd usually give it straight back or kick it to an unrealistic contest (SHANE VALENTI IS 3 FOOT TALL, STOP EXPECTING HIM TO TAKE PACK MARKS AGAINST 2 OPPONENTS!) When we gave it to them they had players running everywhere. Unfortunately even though we had Johnson and Murphy well shut down they are a team with about 20 other players who can kick goals. We are a team who are lucky to have two people who have kicked twenty for the season. It didn't help that the likes of Bate, Jones and Wheatley were just throwing the ball on the boot with no concern about where it would actually go. The answer was usually "to the opposition".

Seven goals down at the last change and it was more a case of hoping to break even in the final term and avoid the Dogs running riot and kicking 15. We gifted them a few rushed behinds and both Buckley and Newton missed shots but it was basically junk time from the first bounce. From the time Mitch Hahn kicked a goal to extend the margin to almost 50 seven or eight minutes in the Dogs shut up shop, put their feet on the table and started smoking a fat cigar. Somewhere Robbo was shedding a tear that there was so much junk time that he wouldn't be able to run riot in. Newton finally got one - and thank god because I would run out there with the appropriate paperwork myself if he hadn't and Miller kicked our last three to make it a respectable 31 point loss. The spread was beaten - let the children of the town rejoice, and we were lucky enough to hear the Dogs theme song which still appears to have been recorded by a pissweak ska band fronted by a 75-year-old lead singer.

Let's be honest about all of this. We're a shit side, but there's a future. Today we were a ten goal better side than the one that they massacred in Round 2. Since March 29 we have seen the likes of Carroll, Yze, Weetra and White shelved. Some perhaps more permanently than others. We've also discovered that Garland can play, Dunn can tag, Green is a leader, Miller can be a presence up front and that THE CELEBRATOR and Valenti have been hits from the rookie list. This isn't the same team it was in Round 2 and thank god for that. Either we're going to look back on these years in a decade and say it was where we built for success, or we're going to look back and go "ahh, that's why the whole team went tits up and the club is now playing in the Tasmanian League". Either or - let's just get on with it already.

2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes

I feel like I'm being controversial with these. Please direct your abusive comments to our customer feedback department c/o the third wheely bin on the left outside the Ponsford Stand.

5 - Colin Garland (Safe as houses down back. More please)
4 - Lynden Dunn (Tagged Cooney to buggery. An angry young man)
3 - Cameron Bruce (He was always there and racked up 35 touches, but how many times were they actually worth anything?)
2 - Chris Johnson (Still butchering it sometimes, but playing with enormous confidence)
1 - Stefan Martin (Showed a shitload of poise in contests for a second gamer)

Apologies to Wonaeamirri (deliberately further up the ground?), Green, Miller, Jamar (rocking along at 1 kick a game but doing alright in the centre), Whelan, Valenti and Buckley

No apologies to Jones who couldn't hit the side of a barn for most of the day. And yes, I am biased towards defenders so there's no need to make a point of it. All I'll say is that how come none of them have ever won the Jakovich Medal then? Oh, because they've all been shit for years you say? Good point.

Draft Watch
Today's game tilted me even further away from Naitanui. Don't give me this bollocks about having a "marquee player". Do you seriously think that any of our alleged 'fans' who have lapsed over the last couple of seasons are going to come back just to watch some guy who can jump a mile and has a novelty haircut? He might turn out to be the best player ever for all I know but the last thing we need at the moment is a project player. Today says to me we need a key forward.

I think I've mentioned this before. What if we finish 16th, Freo finish 15th and we trade the #1 pick to them for the #2 pick and Warnock. Then we still have 1st pick in the Pre-Season draft and haven't really lost out. Of course the chances of anyone who isn't West Coast finishing last at the moment are slim to none, but you never know. Maybe you could pull the same kind of scam with them and throw Warnock in as part of some hot threeway deal. Or you could just do what everyone else does in trade week and sit in a room eating biscuits for four days and then try to make 17 trades in the last five minutes and have them all collapse because the fax machine at AFL House is too busy.

Leaderboard

Strangely enough I think Green is probably still morally the winner of this award. I don't know if that proves that the voting system is flawed or that I'm watching games on crack.

23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
21 - Cameron Bruce
20 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
12 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Lynden Dunn
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brad Miller
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
7 - Chris Johnson
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze
1 - Stefan Martin

Religious Affairs Department
Bishop, please take your hand off my knee. Also it was great to see some guy in some sort of Montreal Catholic Church jacket (Le Church?) also sporting a Demons beanie. You'd think if you knew nothing and were coming from overseas for a massive god type convention that you'd automatically pick the Saints. Just proves how shithouse St.Kilda are in the grand scheme of things that they've had such a tragic history that even religious types won't back them.

Kaptaincy Korner
What price will you give me on a Bruce/Green joint ticket? You heard it here first - even if I did make it up.

Laughing Stock League
13. Port Adelaide (falling from grace and abandoned by fans. Choco Williams' head to explode by Round 22)
14. Melbourne (brave but shit)
15. West Coast (rotten, but at least they have a glorious past)
16. Fremantle (projected to jump at least one spot after next week)

Next Week
Freo in Perth. They're shit aren't they? Guess what kid, the moment we travel any further west than Telstra Dome so are we. Home win.

It's Miller Time

Well, I'm back. Welcome to Australia and all that. Luckily they didn't find what I had strapped to my lower instestine and I got through customs in time to see yet another in a long series of insipid performances and losses. Hold on? What do you mean we won? Oh, that's right you heard me - WE WON A FREAKING GAME! AGAINST A TEAM WHO NOT A COMPLETE BASKET CASE LIKE FREO! Remember when that used to happen a lot? Me neither, Queen's Birthday last year was the last time we rolled a team that was even halfway entrenched in the top 8.

All I wanted was a consistent four quarter effort, and to avoid going five goals down in the first five minutes like last week. When Brown outmanoeuvred Warnock in the square 45 seconds in for the first goal it looked as if it was going to be a long, long, long day. I don't know about you but every time a gun opposition forward kicks a goal early I start to have visions of Tony Modra banging home 10 against us in 1999. Strangely enough when one of our players gets on a roll I don't often think the same thing.

So, when the first quarter ended and Brad Miller had three goals in a 19pt lead I thought that we could only go backwards. After his early goal Brown was well held, and Garland had Bradshaw under control but it was always threatening to explode in our faces and end in tragedy. In reality the early success of our backline owed far more to the midfield than it did to anyone else. Jamar and Johnson were breaking even in the centre and the likes of McLean, Dunn and Jones were doing enough to keep the ball out of the Brisbane forward 50. Jones, however, botched pretty much every kick he had in the first half so don't come here expecting to see me singing his praises even if he is still winning our player of the year.

When Sylvia kicked his second five minutes into the second even I, the most negative bastard alive, started to wonder whether we might be primed for an upset. The next couple of minutes were spent hammering the Brisbane defence with little reward other than a Miller missed set shot. Then suddenly the ball was down the other end, the umpires were pulling dubious free kicks out of their arse and we'd copped three goals in three minutes. Somewhere in the mix of all this Brock McLean went down like he'd been shot and I'm sure everyone had the same minor nervous breakdown as me. Luckily The Brock looks injury in the face and spits because he'd return after half time.

We were almost gifted a goal late in the second when the Lions botched their interchange and Paul Wheatley was given a set shot 40m out directly in front. Despite that farcical set play that they insist on doing where he tries to bury one from outside 50 (it's worked about twice in five years) you'd hardly have him kicking for your life and he butchered it. That said it all about our day to that point really, the chance to put Brisbane away handed to us on a platter and botched. We hadn't really played much of a second quarter, but thanks to Brisbane fumbling several chances to add more goals at the end of the quarter we were still in front. Special mention, if you will, to Jonathan Brown's last attempt which hit the post with such force that I was hoping it'd snap off and fly straight into the Lions cheersquad.

So, half time and a three point lead. We've led at halftime this year (once maybe - including practice matches), but against a team with the twin towers of terror Brown and Bradshaw up front, a team who had flogged us by ten goals about two months ago you had the feeling that we couldn't possibly hold on. Who was going to kick the goals? Garland and Warnock were battling hard in defence, with Whelan providing a vintage game to assist them and Brad Green was constantly appearing on the last line of defence taking saving marks but could we plug the flow enough to hold on? Or would it be another repeat of the Hawthorn game where the lesser lights of their forward line dragged them over the line while we couldn't kick a winning score.

Of course it wasn't just the increased effort on our behalf that helped us to a winning position. Brisbane served up a kicking efficiency of 55%, and that's even without the allegedly laser-like disposal of Travis Johnstone (© some crackheads on the Melbourne forums) assisting them. To put it simply they were shit. We certainly applied the same sort of good pressure that we've shown in patches since the Hawthorn match, but clearly the Lions didn't turn up to play and it cost them. Their record on the MCG since they lost that Grand Final to Port has been abysmal, and they showed why today.

Chris Johnson was going nuts racking up possessions around the defensive 50. He botched a few, and fell victim to a handful of smothers but it was easily his best game yet. The most important factor was that he played with a confidence that most of our side have been lacking so far this year. Yes we seriously overused the ball at times today and caused turnovers, but at the same time some of the running football was enough to make a man crack half a Ballarat. If that's what Bailey wants this team to do then he's got my vote. Also worth a mention is Lynden Dunn who did another great tagging job - who saw that coming a couple of years ago when he was wandering around in the forward line?

So, the first six minutes of the third were your standard arm-wrestle. At least we didn't roll over and die like many (me?) had expected. We finally got our own dodgy decision from the umpires when Bate was paid one right in front of goal, and despite doing his best to miss it extended the margin again. Thank you Melbourne, enough teasing now just lose already. Oh, Bruce has kicked one? And Sylvia too? I'm excited! Brisbane also kicked an obvious point that was ruled out on the full - that won't come back to play a part will it? Surely not. Just when it looked like we were a chance of burning the Lions off again we copped two late goals to cut the margin back to eight points at the last change. Tense? Nervous? You bet. Had I been sitting next to one of these "Oh we must lose so we can have #1 pick!" clowns I probably would have punched them in the face.

So, Q4 then. We copped the first goal, then Green replied, then Brown came to life and kicked two to put the Roys/Bears/Lions in front for the first time since the 9 minute mark of the first quarter. Handshakes all around and a quiet departure? Bollocks to that, Col Sylvia bobbed up for his 4th to put us in front before THE CELEBRATOR kicked his 2nd to make it a bit more comfortable. Then of course we died in the arse again - questionable umpiring aside (HOW DO YOU NOT SEE AARON DAVEY GET BELTED YOU CRUNTS?) Brown and Bradshaw x2 goaled to put us away for good. Old mate in front of me relaxed and stretched out waiting for the final siren, then as the minutes ticked past 30 and those without radios started to have a bit of a cry Cam Bruce walked through half the Brisbane defence, told Dunn to get out of the way and kicked the wobbliest goal you'll ever see in your life to get us back into it. Four minutes of hammering the line later a long ball dropped into the square and Miller of all people took a corker of a mark to put us in front.

Cue 2 minutes and 45 seconds of wild scenes as Brisbane got the ball inside 50, forced a boundary throw-in and a ball-up and still couldn't even jag a point to force a draw. The last bounce was with fifteen seconds left and you could just see another heartbreaker coming our way, then somehow the ball came out to the CELEBRATOR who looked up, saw nobody in front of him and went to the races before flipping a handball over the top to BOG Brad Green who was just beaten by the siren as he kicked the goal. In the end it's probably more romantic to have won by 1 instead of 7, but Green definately deserved a second goal - he has been unbelievable this year and surely must get a run as captain next season.

Of course what we lack is an absolute out-and-out superstar. Oh for a Jonathan Brown up front. Even when he wasn't getting the ball he was scaring the shit out of us. The lack of an insane marquee forward like Brown, Pavlich, Fev or Franklin was the only reason that we had to scrap so hard to beat a team that was desperately trying to hand us the match on a platter. Oh for a Neitz 2002-05 slotted into today's lineup, just throwing bastards out of the way and kicking goals. Well, get used to it kids because that's our lot for the rest of the year - Miller has improved out of sight, and Sylvia is showing a bit as a forward at last but we will struggle to kick goals so the emergence of Warnock (beaten by Brown, but not humiliated), Garland (good again) and Martin (solid first game) will be important to any success we're going to have for the rest of the season.

Injury Watch
Saw Brent Moloney with his arm in a sling. Didn't think it was appropriate to point out that his Facebook profile picture makes me him look like he's off his chops (hey, we share a friend ok?) in case he swatted me with the good hand and injured that as well. Or pulled his groin, which is always a danger when he's involved.

Draft Watch
Theoretically this means we might not finish last. As it stands I think we'll beat West Coast, and have a good chance of knocking over Essendon. What does it all mean? Well it means we might be conceding the number 1 pick to West Coast or Fremantle. Does it really matter? If you can't get a gun with one of the top 3 picks then you're on crack or you're Craig Cameron. Which brings us neatly into...

Ruck Watch
Jamar played most of the game in the centre and held his own, while Johnson pinch hit in the ruck and did some great work around the ground (How good was that chasedown and tackle?) Do we still need Jeff White? I think we do, however is there any merit in playing him in the forward line predominantly over the next few weeks? We still need a ruckman, which is what might end up landing us Naitanui anyway even if there are a couple of key position forward prospects pushing into the top 5 selections. There's some talk about getting Warnock from Freo, and now that it appears his brother will buy himself at least one more year on the list that might be a goer. As it stands Johnson is so vastly improved that his spot on the list is cemented, White probably has one more year left in him and Jamar is wobbling IF we can land another ruck. Watch this space.

2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes

5 - Brad Green (Our foremost practioner of what the Dutch would call Total Football)
4 - Matthew Whelan (Back to his best, adding composure and poise to an inexperienced backline)
3 - Brad Miller (Playing the football of his life. Confidence is high.)
2 - Chris Johnson (33 touches but plenty in the second half that were butchered. Great to see him have the confidence to be the go to man though)
1 - Paul Johnson (Probably our breakout player of the season so far)

Massive apologies to Sylvia and Wheatley who deserved a point or two but couldn't get a run. You might argue Sylvia to replace Johnson, but in the balance of things I thought Johnno was damaging right across the ground which just nudged him in front of Colin.

Moderate apologies to Bate, Bruce, Davey, Dunn, Garland, Jamar (1 kick, 11 handballs! 25 hitouts though and certainly didn't have his colors lowered) and THE CELEBRATOR.

Leaderboard
23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
20 - Brad Green
18 - Cameron Bruce
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
10 - Brad Miller
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
9 - Paul Johnson
7 - Lynden Dunn
7 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
5 - Chris Johnson
4 - Clint Bartram
4 - Matthew Whelan
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze

Laughing Stock League
Haven't had one of these for a while, I'd say it looks a bit like this at the moment

13. Port Adelaide
14. Melbourne
15. Fremantle
16. West Coast

Essendon the big movers, and how good is it to be out of the bottom two on at least one ladder?

Crowd Watch
23k. Looked like about 4500 at the first bounce but they came from somewhere. Again we were almost outdrawn by the away fans. And in case you were wondering, that was THE CELEBRATOR's dad sitting with Jim Stynes and not the exiled Zimbabwean opposition leader. Sorry Mr. CELEBRATOR.

Congratulations to the guy in front of me who insisted on calling Brisbane "the Roys" all day. Keep the dream alive sir - it certainly looked like a Fitzroy game crowd. Shame that he had to be an unsufferable crunt in the last quarter when Bradshaw kicked the 'winning' goal. Respect lost, sucked in hard.

Next Week
Nothing. Funny how we've won two games this year and had a week off afterwards both times. After that top of the table Footscray - hoorah! That'll be a test.

I see Red………Hair

(Where the international odyssey continued with an Australia Network assisted viewing of the game from a pub in Singapore at 11.30am while sick as a dog trying to decide whether it would be better to just die 3 minutes into the first quarter. Thanks to McLean_4_Captain for providing today's report!)

So, I'm back in town now - thus we endeth the era of Demonblog reports being concise, well thought out and generally actually about footy. Thanks for helping us flirt with reality for a few weeks guys! Anyway... let's roll.

Neil and Tim could not have put it any better and that’s what I was expecting today, to see a sea of Red. Sydney Red that is. With the “neutral” venue and the swans’ current form, my thought going in was that anything under 10 goals would be a win. What a sad state we are in when I automatically think like that. Sad, but not quite despondent.

I see Red in the crowd too. We get paid money regardless of the crowd in Canberra, why not play freo or someone there so we’ll definitely get the majority of the support? It is meant to be our “home” game. There were 3 or 4 to 1 Sydney supporters there from all accounts, so playing them there isn’t exactly going to build our supporter base, is it? And I read in the paper today that McNamee wants us playing Sydney there to be an annual fixture, so they’ll have a similar amount of experience playing at the ground and because of the location they’ll have the majority of the support, at least Hawthorn play different teams in Tassie and have the crowd on their side. I know we need the money, but it would be nice to get a slight home crowd advantage instead of giving it to Sydney. Seems to me like out of the Gabba frying pan and into the Manuka fire.

Back to the Finn’s. All we saw was Red. We didn’t get a disposal in the first 4 ½ minutes, and not long after Jonesy got our first touch in the back pocket the swans slotted their 3rd straight goal. It was looking dim and thoughts of getting within 10 goals were sliding towards 20. Five minutes later and Hall puts through his 3rd for Sydney’s fifth straight goal, 12 minutes of play and were 29pts down. Now 20 goals was looking in danger and Hall looked like he might give Fred’s 61 year old record a push.

But that’s about as bad as it got. Bruce ran hard for a nice goal to give us our first and fire crutch Bate got our second to keep the margin to 30pts at ¼ time

The Split Enz 1978 classic featured heavily again in the second quarter, but in an entirely different way to the first qrt, which had me feeling along way from the Rage that Tim Finn so eloquently expressed in that little gem. Stand-up and be counted Matthew Bate. Presenting well up on the wing as he has in previous weeks, but also kicking the goals which is what we really need from him. 2 goals in the second and he had 3.2 up to half time, keeping us within 5 goals at the half. Someone may have mentioned Bate to “step up to the next level and become a revelation off the HF line” in a recent Bolters 2nd half of the year BF thread, what a top prediction that was…

Not only did Bate come alive in the second quarter, the moisturising pair of Johnson & Johnson, both showed what we’ve been hoping to see from them all year. CJ was not only keeping O’Keefe quite, which is no mean feat on its own, but also giving us some run off the HB line. PJ started to lead well up on to the wing and was providing us a target too big for Leo Barry to compete with. But he was playing too far up the ground for mine and need to be put down at FF, we’ve already got Bate and Miller to lead up outside 50. Green and Wheatley started to get plenty of the ball across half back and provided us with some run, but some errant kicking didn’t help.

Another goal to Barry Hall had him to 4.3 up to half time, Warnock tried his ass off and wasn’t doing a lot wrong, not many are going to stop Hall in that kind of form and it was a valuable lesson for the veteran of 12 games.

Quarter 3, dare I say it, we dominated from the opening bounce, Miller kicking the opening goal of the half after about a minute. Bailey stuck PJ in the goal square from the outset and it paid off straight away, with a nice mark just inside the 50 and goal that never looked like missing. Two in the first 5 minutes and we’d cut the lead to 19pts. Sydney responded but let us off kicking 3 behinds that could’ve easily been goals. Davey gave us some much need pace playing as deep as half back racking up possessions and was back to his best. Hall added a fifth and a couple more points to be 5.5 up to ¾ time, he had more shots then that and could’ve easily kicked 10 for the day.

The fourth started much the same as the 3rd with us looking lively. Dunn who completed his best job of the year thus far nullifying Adam “head-high” Goodes effort and putting in a contender for behind of the year. He collected the ball inside defensive 50, took four or five bounces right up the corridor, received a sheppard from Bate and banged a nice drop punt towards goal from just outside the 50m line, which faded late for the best point of the game.

Just like Dunn’s kick, we faded late. From the Sydney kick in Sylvia claimed Mattner on the wing as he tried to step off the mark and gave away what is the shittest 50m plenty in the rule book, “You weren’t in the contest” says the fluro one. Not in the F#@king contest!!! He got there before he controlled the mark and then only grabbed his jumped as he stepped to go around him. That goal ended all hope and the Swans decided we were close enough so they stepped up a gear we all new they had in them and we didn’t, and we didn’t trouble the scorers for the next 20 minutes while they iced the game. All wasn’t lost with the 40pt margin as I backed Sydney by 40-59 @ $4.00 before the game

Miller led up well and took plenty of marks, but 1 goal and 1 goal assist isn’t really enough. Green collected his usual 25 or so touches playing the loose man, again with several strong defensive marks. Great to have Whelan back in the side, gave us the hard edge and experience we’ve missed in defence and let junior play more in the middle were he belongs. McLean toiled hard all day, but was tagged heavily all day mostly by Kirk. When Kirk needed a rest McVeigh had a go. Sydney smashed us at the clearances and I’d say Roos identified McLean as the one player who always had to have an opponent at the stoppages, which worked well for them. Garland was our best tall defender again, shutting Hall down later in the game, but that forced Bode onto O’Loughlin which had me cringing. He’s had a few weeks, not showing enough.

2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Bate
4 - Dunn
3 – C. Johnson
2 – P. Johnson
1 – Garland

Bate was clearly best. Dunn not only shut down Goodes but also did some good things himself. CJ gave us some great run with only a few errors as well as shutting down the dangerous O’Keefe. PJ would’ve got more votes but he was up the ground too much, if Bails is going to use him at FF he has to be told forward to stay in the F50.

The last vote was a raffle. It could’ve gone to any of Green, Wheatley, Junior, Davey or even Wona for his 3 goals. I went with Garland as he worked the hardest all day and did the team stuff. He copped a big hit, he was close to the interchange so he crawled off on hands and knees so another player could come on. Held O’Loughlin well, and then went to Hall when Warnock was struggling in the second half.

Leaderboard

23 - Nathan Jones
21 - Brock McLean
18 - Cameron Bruce
15 - Brad Green
14 - Matthew Bate
12 - James McDonald
10 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
9 - Aaron Davey
9 - Cale Morton
8 - Paul Johnson
7 - Lynden Dunn
7 - Colin Garland (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
7 - Brad Miller
6 - Jared Rivers
5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Clint Bartram
3 - Chris Johnson
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Matthew Warnock
3 - Jeff White
3 - Paul Wheatley
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
1 - Shane Valenti
1 - Adem Yze

Whinge Section
Shit umpiring. I’ve spoken to both neutral and Sydney supporters about it and all have said we copped it pretty badly. Sylvia was having a bad enough day without shit 50m penalties. Anderson needs to change the interpretation of that rule, even the crap commentators mentioned that no one would’ve noticed if they’d let that one go, needs to be a bit more leeway.

Treatment Room Corner
No official injuries. Garland took a hard hit and went to the rooms, but was back on later in the quarter.

Sin Bin
Goodes has been done for Rough Conduct for his Head-high bump on Bartram. So he should, cheating prick. I’m hoping he gets rubbed out because he deserved to for the Selwood bump. And it also takes him off the consecutive games list. He is on about 205, so at 28 and injury free he was getting too close for my liking to Jimmy’s record.

Commentary Watch
Watched the late replay on channel 7, so I think it was the fox commentators. Fuck me they were bad, 7 coverage is bad enough on its own, I think it was Liam Pickering, Alistair Lynch and some other clown. Absolute Rubbish.

Coach Watch
Dean’s getting there. Game plan seems to be a working a little bit more each week, so hopefully at this rate we’ll win a premiership by the time Morton turns 50 (He'll be lucky to turn 50 kilograms - Ed). In all seriousness we were good in patches again against an opposition who were lacklustre for all but the first 15 minutes. The move of PJ forward worked well, but he I think he needs to be played deeper. My one real query was that we did nothing to help McLean break his tag, Kirk is good enough to deserve his own tag, so why not tag the tagger and hopefully free up McLean.