Demonblog.com: April 2026

Now it can be revealed that after missing two memorable MCG wins to start the season, I expected to turn up in person on Sunday to see anything from a reality check to a tits up disaster. Hours after West Coast delivered a warning against excitement by converting consecutive wins into 130 point defeat, an honourable loss seemed more likely than the sort of performance that would have tumbleweeds bouncing down the aisles halfway through the last quarter but you just never know. Indeed you do not.

There was always the prospect of winning, but after 15 years of Gold Coast being space-occupying slop I'd been spooked into believing they were The Next Big Thing. Even without that up and coming Petracca fellow, and him who eats grass playing his first game since busting a finger in State Of Origin, I'd have thought (and come on, you did too) they'd keep us at arm's length. The Suns may still turn out to be the NBT, but they got a rude shock from the All New Quite Interesting Melbourne here.

On Saturday night I saw the score in the Sydney/Eagles game was getting perverse and tuned in for the last quarter. Seeing James Jordon sitting next to Simon Goodwin on the bench at Perth Stadium gave me warm and fuzzy historical feelings (+ Grundy on the field, reminding us of the wackiest single season cameo in history), but none of that is relevant to where we're at now. Won't stop me from waffling about on about it, but I've clambered right on board the Steven King bandwagon. It's about 99.9% more interesting than last year, but there will be ebb and flow. We went from being the highest scoring team in the competition in 2018 to shite the next year, so nothing is guaranteed. However, if offered 3-1 at this stage of the season I'd have torn your hand off, so job well done so far.

After two weeks of attacking towards the sun in the first quarter like vampires, we finally got to kick into the shade. This was balanced by instead defending like the chronically light sensitive. Maybe Turner spent his time off in a dark room because he lost the Gold Coast variety King in brightness and allowed a simple mark in front of goal. It was one of three King shots in the first quarter and I was on full alert for a boot filling. He went on to do not much more, and god forbid for the second time this year we won something approaching a shootout. Can't get away with this forever but overjoyed to have done it here.

Other than the sense that anytime we didn't kick a goal the ball was going to pelt down the other end at the speed of light, it never got worse than conceding the first two. Mihocek got one back, and though the stats would imply he didn't do much, this was a good example of presence making life easier for everyone. Not sure how he got shown as the second best on ground here, and ultimately all votes are just made up based on criteria plucked from thin air, but I'd be interested to hear the case. JVR is still struggling to recapture his Round 1 glory, but Brody (never, I regret to say, 'Checkers') has been a big help in getting our forward line going.

We were potentially being rorted out of a mark to Latrelle, a few minutes after Gold Coast was paid one that went nine metres at best, but it led to the ball reaching random literal last second option Salem for a snap right on the siren. I still didn't think we'd win but seven points was a fair indication of where the game was at.

If the first quarter was about holding on against opposition you (incorrectly) suspected were going to pull away eventually, it got really good after the break. There were still challenges, thanks to more Gawn centre-bounce wizardry, Pickett (L) nearly got his goal within 20 seconds of the restart, but the rebound saw them find a second gamer with nobody around him. He kicked a very good set shot, and even if Gold Coast didn't fully turn up you couldn't fault their accuracy. Meanwhile, our misses created the circumstances that allowed two or three behinds in a row, which makes the old "if they kicked 5.1 instead of 1.5" as big a load of bollocks as ever.

So, that was the Salem goal wasted but never mind because there were 6x more goals to come in this quarter than our entire first half last week. Sure we also let in four, but that's not important right now. Mihocek got his ceckond, beating two opponents to the mark, before the white-hot hatred of our fans towards the umpires kicked off with McSizzle being done on a holding free after whichever academy freebie he was playing on tried to dance the tango with him first. Enter Australia's new favourite midfield combination for the reply, as Gawn put it on a platter for Pickett, who went full turbo mode and landed it with Melksham for the reply. After years of having our goals cancelled instantly, it's nice to do it to someone else. Especially when the goal came from a bullshit free.

The next goal requires visual aids to capture all the excitement:

If football is art, the this is a masterpiece 🖌️🫟#DemonSpirit pic.twitter.com/WLaNwRnI9P
— Melbourne Demons (@melbournefc) April 6, 2026

Find me a better kick off the ground than the one by Pickett (L) that started this (and we're going for technical quality here, so you can't pick the toepoke that won Geelong a Grand Final). Not to mention it never happened without him stripping the Suns player of the ball on the way past. I still think wrecking some semi-professionals in a VFL game will be good for Latrelle's development, but if we can get away with doing it in the seniors then please do. After looking all at sea during the Freo game, he's done things the last two weeks that give the impression of imminent riot running.

To nobody's surprise, Culleymania has cooled since I declared him my new favourite player, but consistent with several other players he's contributing without the stats to show it. For example, after years of creating global warming by incinerating inside 50s, I appreciate having somebody who can turn a simple intercept mark into a contest. Especially now that we're pushing defenders higher up the ground (he says, pretending to understand tactics based on listening to one conversation with the coach), and are at risk of being filetted on the rebound.

Then there's Melksham bringing everything together with multiple efforts - perhaps a holding the ball that we'll overlook - before kicking the snap without ever properly regaining his balance. This goal was, appropriately for the religious holiday, a combination of all things bright and beautiful. Then we kicked two more and were in front, which was nice.

In a win for the marketing department, the post-goal songs weren't as annoying as expected, but let's stress test the concept during a putrid performance before declaring it a success. After the Harry Sharp goal, non-miserable people in front of me went right off for Sweet Caroline. This would usually be a nightmare scenario but the blow was softened by it requiring a Melbourne goal to go off. This theory came in hand later with Tholstrup's questionable selection of Believe, a song I've despised since 1999, well before it played in Perth Stadium right after the 2018 Prelim just I got notification of a flight delayed by several hours.

I'm right into Sharp now, and the hardly revolutionary theory that he's best suited to running all day was shown in the last quarter as he was still pelting around at top pace. The next project to celebrate the death of the sub rule is Bailey Laurie, who got a chance due to Fritsch's dicky foot. After either being subbed in or out of 75% of his career games, Laurie finally had the luxury of four quarters and had a big old crack as expected. Didn't do a massive amount but deserves more chances to prove himself before being written off. Turns out he hadn't played in a win since Geelong '24, the last gasp of the Goodwin era before the capsize began. The only other time he started and finished a game in a win was late '23 when we were toying with Hawthorn, shortly before they unlapped themselves and shot past us.

Just as you might have been considering going right off and taking holidays in September, we lost the lead by conceding one on either side of half time. Enter Tholstrup and his shit song, then Melksham pulling down a huge mark that will eventually be beaten for MOTY but deserves the early season lead. Being a horrible person I enjoyed the visual spectacle of his grab but sat there thinking it was no bloody use unless followed by a goal. And indeed it was. If they can ignore finals in Mark of the Year calculations they can also disqualfiy anything followed by a point or turnover.

After Gawn kicked a snap from 20 metres in front (and who cares how ball is introduced to boot as long as the final result is right), and a 50 gifted Lindsay his first career goal in a game not involving a record last quarter collapse, there were a few minutes where it looked like the Suns had NFI what to do and were ripe for the killer blow. And then when we failed to land one they decided to make it interesting, then nearly very interesting as only desperate goal line defence by Gawn kept out a second in quick succession. This set up a tasty Melksham handball to Pickett for a late goal and 14 point lead. Based on the fourth quarters this year a good chance at holding it. Now that you know what happens it was a solid lead, but being a yellow-streaked coward I wondered if we'd get stuck between pressing on or trying to protect the upset win. Trust the process.

Gawn dismissing his latest big name ruck challenger was a big reason we never went close to losing, but remember everyone hanging shit on us over losing Petracca and Oliver before playing a game? I'd rather not be paying Clayts $3 million, but for 2026 football reasons alone I'm quite happy with Jack Steele thanks. All the mad attack on the footy, none of the drama. It can't hurt playing at the feet of the era's greatest ruckman, and often with Pickett scaring the piss out of the opposition at the same time, but they're getting along like this combination has been together for years.

We were being ransacked by the umpiring, but the end result demonstrates how it can be overcome if you're good enough. Unless it's somebody handballing over the line with nine seconds left there's no need for full victimhood like the fans of [pretty much everyone else]. The white-hot outrage of our fans, now inflated by the hope of pulling off an upset, was better matchday entertainment than songs, flames, and people racing against Lego combined.

When Pickett I played a lovely through ball for Pickett II to walk into an open goal we were 4+ goals up with not much more time than that left. Forget this nonsense about the first team to 100 always winning, in situations like this I'd rather know how often sides win from X ahead with X:XX left. It'll go wrong sometimes - and don't we know it - and has chuff all to do with the actual game in progress but I'd be comforted to know. Especially when the Suns kept everyone on their toes with a goal that gave them an outside chance of making it interesting. I was already very interested and didn't need a big finish to enhance my enjoyment of the afternoon.

Thanks to the AFL website (and there's something you don't hear every day) for having the countdown clock on. I've seen multiple games this year where it's been showing count up and thought maybe they'd caved in to the people who think it'll be just as 'exciting' not to know how long is left now - when people on the bench are holding up 30 and 60 signs, and the countdown time can be seen on a screen in front of players - as it was in 2004 before somebody came up with the revolutionary idea of communicating to players by putting a number on some cardboard. And tell me the commentators won't know exactly how much time there is left, so the last thing we need is them acting badly and pretending that anything can still happen when they can see the siren's about to go.

Thank god there was no need for debates over thrilling finishes, because we didn't concede again, and got enough of the ball to run the clock down via dinky sideways/backwards kicking that the Gold Coast players realised there was no point trying to stop. We'd have been howling at an opposition club for wasting the last few minutes doing the same thing, but it was good practice for when this sort of thing will be required in a really close game. It was all very professional, but I need to win a game by under a goal for the first time since R16, 2024 to be convinced we're beyond freaking out during tight games. Even that was a 'worst win ever' contender, falling over the line against a pox North side. Before that it's the back-to-back 1 and 4 point wins over Brisbane/Adelaide in late 2023. Since then we've lost 11 games by a goal or less. Jezum crow. But let's see assume everything's changed under new management - and why wouldn't you the way it's going? - and see what happens next time we're involved in a dramatic finish.

Despite the views of stupid people who think if their team could pull in a big crowds against interstate opposition on Easter Sunday everyone can, I was quite happy amongst 24k Dees fans going off their trolley at the siren. Obviously you get more money if 40k turn up, but it's not 1959, it's more about TV money and exposure. Unlike last year, we're great value for broadcasters, and as much as I loved sludgerous 61-53 wins when they happened, this version of Melbourne appeals to neutrals and spectacle maniacs alike.

We're almost at the point of the season where optimism about exciting footy is crushed by ruthless coaches so I'm not declaring us The Entertainers yet, but it's been a fun start to the year. There's a bit of 1998 about it (including the coach having his first loss against Freo), and may it continue for as long as possible, survive the inevitable mid-season collapse when we get morbid and self-doubting, then roar back into life at the business end of the season. Apologies to Chris Scott saying the most sensible thing to come from his family since Brad wanted the Docklands roof closed, I'm going to be forced to invest in the Wildcard Wankfest arent I?

2026 Allen Jakovich Medal votes
5 - Jack Steele
4 - Max Gawn
3 - Kysaiah Pickett
2 - Jake Melksham
1 - Harry Sharp

Apologies to Howes, Lever, Salem, Sharp, Sparrow.

Leaderboard
Looks like stiff shit to anyone who was hoping for an upset winner this season, but while the top votes are being dominated by the favourites, I'm pleased at the leaderboard variety. Only two more players have polled than at the same time last year, but this year votes are being handed out for quality performances, not on a 'least worst' basis. Still nothing in the Jones, and the Seecamp has suffered for our attacking intent. Despite a public push I'm still not declaring Gawn provisional winner of the Stynes because it feels like tempting fate.

18 - Max Gawn (LEADER: Jim Stynes Medal for Ruckman of the Year)
9 - Jack Steele
8 - Kysaiah Pickett
4 - Jacob van Rooyen
3 - Tom Sparrow, Koltyn Tholstrup, Caleb Windsor
2 - Bayley Fritsch, Ed Langdon, Jake Melksham, Brody Mihocek
1 - Kade Chandler, Jai Culley, Jake Lever (LEADER: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year), Harry Sharp

Next week
I was on reality check red alert here, but forget all the good feelings, next week is DEFCON1 for a potential shambles. On paper, morally, and everywhere else it doesn't count, we should walk over Essendon on the verge of their all-time greatest losing streak. After avoiding potential massacre against Footscray they may have regained some will to live, which should be clubbed out as early as possible. After winning two 50/50 games and springing an upset, this is our first time in the new era starting as red hot favourites, so let's see how what it's like to cope with expectation and opposition who'll be happy to turn the game into trench warfare.

This will all take place in Adelaide, where we play the Bombers for the third time in four Gather Rounds (don't care how successful the concept has been, it's still a putrid name). The only break was the year with back-to-back games against the local teams. I'd rather join the Human Centipede than travel interstate to hang out with a bunch of non-MFC fans, but they're not even trying to sell the idea by repeating the same fixture every year. After the last two weeks, give us more teams coming off the bye thanks. The Bombers have been everyone's bye for the last year, but I raise Sydney 1993 as an example of where this can go violently off the rails. It shouldn't, and I still think we'll win, but anyone talking about a percentage booster will be interned pursuant the Footy Overconfidence Act 1897 until Sunday morning.

In a surprise twist, the VFL didn't take Senegalese Independence Day as the excuse for another bye and Casey had a game this week. I supported this momentous occasion by not seeing a second of it, but a) they won, b) Ken T. Field pressed his claims for a senior game by kicking four, and c) Heath continued his Moose-ish behaviour with a shitload of contested possessions. Rivers didn't play, which is odd as he's now had two weeks without a game.

The problem for anyone on the senior fringe is that we've had a sniff of being good (long way to go, marathon not sprint, flag never won in April etc...) so widespread change is unnecessary. Logically, playing Melksham makes no sense but you'd have to be the most brutal footy rationalist ever to try and chuck him for development reasons after a performance like this. I think you can have him and Fritsch together, but Turner's return left Petty a bit spare parts so either he or McDonald will have to go. And if the Fritsch foot is farked, then the door is open for someone else. I'll also keep Laurie, because he didn't do a lot here but after only playing one quarter in 2025, give the guy some time to show he's not the classic "too good for VFL/not good enough for AFL" gap plummeter.

IN: Fritsch
OUT: McDonald (omit)
LUCKY: Laurie, Petty (only because of balance)
UNLUCKY: Heath, Kentfield, Moniz-Wakefield

Aaron Davey Medal for Goal of the Year
Everyone loves Melksham, and his multiple efforts ending in the second quarter snap are a worthy winner. I almost liked it better than K. Pickett vs Carlton, and the Latrelle chip shot helps, but context keeps original recipe Pickett as the clubhouse leader.

Final thoughts
For the first time ever I watched the opposition coach press conference and enjoying Hardwick working blue, describing last year's ladder as "worth shit" and his team getting a "kick in the nuts". Both true. I'd still rather Gold Coast win the flag than any Victorian team not called Melbourne, but the last part of the Petracca bonanza is their first. So if you feel like going into a death spiral and finishing 15th then don't stop on our behalf.