Pardon?

Now I'm not a football recruiter, nor am I in any way a professional analyst of the game. Obviously. But it would seem to me that in analysing the Melbourne Football Club player list as it stood on Friday night that we have a fairly strong midfield. Now our backline, despite some encouraging Carroll performances at the arse end of the year, is dicked and we've got no obvious candidate to play full-forward when Neitz's body gives way in the next couple of years. Then there's the small matter of no absolutely convincing replacement for Jeff White should he get hurt either.

So what did we do at the draft? Pick four midfielders out of four of course. Now there might be a very good reason for this that I'm missing but it seems slightly odd. Now, Nathan Jones as the first selection I'm all in favor of but what about the other three? Couldn't we have come up with at least one potential KPP? You're asking these kids to break into a midfield that already consists of, Bruce/McLean/Moloney/Sylvia/Read/Godfrey/McDonald/Yze and potentially Green/Davey. Good luck to the lower picks, you'll need it.

I have a fetish for Sylvia @ Full Forward. I'm telling you it can work. McDonald, Godfrey and Demonblog's own Philthy Phil would have to be counting down the days to becoming obsolete. When Philthy goes I'm going to cry.

Fat Porky

Suddenly Ben Holland doesn't look too bad does he?

MAGINE embarking on an up-tempo training session with elite athletes having done little more than watch life go by for a couple of months.

Then imagine the task with two and a half house bricks draped around your neck. Basically, that's what Lance Whitnall has done on return to Carlton for pre-season training - and not for the first time.

Even allowing for the possibility Lance has the metabolism of a hibernating bear, there is no excuse for him returning to training 8kg above his ideal playing weight.

Whitnall, preparing for his 10th season, should be embarrassed on at least three fronts.

First, returning to training as if he were pushing for the role of anchor man in a tug-of-war team is a recurring problem. Has been since he was a teenager.

Second, he recently re-signed with the Blues on an estimated $400,000 a year - having played on more this year.

Third, he would not have dared turn up 8kg overweight had Melbourne successfully negotiated his release from Optus Oval a month ago.

Carlton coach Denis Pagan would not discuss the matter yesterday for the second day in a row, saying only "we will address it internally," yet he must be fuming.

Not only is Whitnall a senior member of the squad, the group is crying out for leadership.

Thanks for holding on to him Carlton. How absolutely wonderful of you.

Cruel to be kind

The sound you hear coming from Demonblog is towers isn't one of corks popping for Melbourne Cup day. No, pissed people throwing up in hedges and inappropriately touching each other in the street aren't the reason for applause today. This is,

PREMIERSHIP player Chris Heffernan is poised to return to where it all began: Essendon.

The Bombers will swoop on the 26-year-old in the national or next month's pre-season draft after Heffernan was yesterday one of four players delisted by Melbourne.

Heffernan on Sunday night told Demons coach Neale Daniher of his desire to continue his career at Windy Hill.

The 2000 premiership star has been offered a two-year deal by the Bombers.

Joining him out the door at Melbourne yesterday were Luke Williams, Steven Armstrong and Cameron Hunter.

Finally they've shown some balls in axing underperforming senior players. This is the start of a new era - with the potential exception of Armstrong there's not one of those who deserves to be on our list, or any list for that matter, next year.

But then there's this,

Armstrong, who attracted interest from Port Adelaide during the trade period, Hunter and Williams are also expected to nominate for either of the drafts.

If there's any drafting to be had of those two the recruiting managers concerned should be executed immediately.

Alive and Kicking

So - you thought we were dead didn't you? LIES! You're probably reading this in February. Alas that wasn't the case as just days after the Grand Final I skipped the country to Britain to watch football (Association variety) there instead.

So I found out we'd traded for Byron Pickett via an SMS message that woke me up at 3.30am. Top choice - he might be a dirty thug but he's a thug with our jumper on so he's ace. We haven't had a real ultimate hard hitting bastard since Grinter.

In other news - Guy Rigoni retires, and Luke Williams hasn't been delisted yet for god knows what reason. Back on draft day.

Bye!

With Carlton and Collingwood having the first few picks of the Pre-Season Draft we're not going to get anything for him, but is the Yze era over? More afterwards,

TALKS on a new contract for Melbourne's Adem Yze have broken down with the vice-captain likely to be searching for a new club for next year.

If negotiations can't be resolved on a new three-year deal to stay at Melbourne it is likely the out-of-contract Demon could be traded to another club, or even nominate for the pre-season draft and be lost to Melbourne for nothing.

Talks faltered after the club withdrew a mid-season agreement of a new three-year deal worth more than a million dollars and made a post-season offer on vastly reduced terms.

It is understood Yze's management had a new three-year agreement on the table but, when Melbourne fell into its seven-game losing streak, the club's board intervened and froze all contract negotiations until the end of season. At season's end, when contract talks resumed, the terms of the offer had changed, infuriating Yze and his management.

The midfielder, who turns 28 today, would be 30 in the third year of a new contract.

I know he's been playing crippled, I know he turned it on and wrecked a couple of rubbish sides during the year, and I know he's got a couple of years left in him but I don't find myself particuarly devestated upon reading this news. If we got a top 10 pick in the draft for him I'd be overjoyed - it's about time we made a statement to our playing list that we're not going to pay ridiculous amounts of money for players to run around, get cheap kicks and do a grand total of 0 hard things for the game. If somebody else is willing to pay him a fortune then good for them.

And thankfully the fact that he's out of contract should stop any of this idiotic membership burning, rioting against Daniher, whinging like little girls that went on after the Woewodin trade. Despite what everyone had to say, and the river of tears that flowed from people who had never had any more involvement in football than scratching their balls in the Southern Stand for 22 weeks a year, the football department were proved right on that one. I trust them to know when a player is on the way out.

If he wants to stay then good for him. I would have questioned this move six months ago, but if my final memory of him in a Melbourne jumper is going to be turning the ball over against Essendon and then just turning around and jogging off while it's bouncing around the turf five metres away from him then so be it. The least players can do is wait until we've won something to start demanding a huge wedge of cash. I'd rather flog off all our "superstars" and rebuild then pay the top 5 an absolute fortune for doing fuck all.

Wild Speculation Corner

We're still alive! Even if the season is over and nobody is reading this site anymore. When you log back on in November tell me whether this happened or not,

Carlton is believed to have sounded out Melbourne regarding its interest in Fevola, but the Blues received a lukewarm response.

However, the Demons have declared they would love the prized signature of Fevola's teammate Lance Whitnall.

The 26-year-old is unhappy with a new contract offer on the table at Optus Oval worth about $300,000 a season.

Whitnall's manager Ricky Nixon said yesterday the offer wasn't satisfactory and that West Coast, Melbourne and one other club involved in the finals had shown serious interest.

Demons recruiting manager Craig Cameron said last night the club was ready to pounce if Whitnall walked out on the Blues.

"We are certainly very interested and we'd be a better team with him in it," Cameron said.

"He has a great football brain and if he falls out with Carlton we are here."

Good thing they didn't persist with the Fevola angle. That would be the only thing worse than throwing a fortune at the poor man's Russell Robertson that is Chris Tarrant. I know we need a replacement for Neitz in the next couple of years but an overpayed clown with pineapple hair and a bad attitude is not the person.

The Big Fat Ugly Kid - on the other hand - I will take with open arms. Again provided he's not being paid too much.

Thank god for that

Well we lost, a little more viciously than predicted but when shaky (at best) form comes together with a black death style plague of injuries on the day you're rooted. You'll have to go somewhere else for wild analysis, I was huddled next to a radio listening to the season collapse while Sam Newman made a dick of himself and reminded me exactly why I hate listening to football. There was at least one world class "call the lawyers" exchange between Newman and Brian Taylor after a controversial umpiring call,

Newman: THIS IS THE MOST CORRUPT BODY IN WORLD SPORTS!
Taylor: Erm, of course he's talking about Triple M football!

Then he just walked off during quarter time and didn't come back. Wouldn't you love to get paid for doing that? Most overrated media "personality" in Australia bar none. No idea if he came back, when we were getting smacked at 1/2 time I pulled the pin, concentrated on work and switched to watching us go rapidly backwards via the AFL.com.au coverage.

Votes
I just shamelessly pinched votes from all over the place, put them together and came up with the following,

5 - Brent Moloney
4 - Russell Robertson
3 - Nathan Carroll
2 - Nathan Brown
1 - Ryan Ferguson

Demonblog.com Player of the Year FINAL VOTES

38 - Travis Johnstone
37 - Russell Robertson
26 - Brent Moloney
23 - Brad Green
18 - Adem Yze
17 - Cameron Bruce
12 - Jeff White
10 - Colin Sylvia, Nathan Carroll, Nathan Brown, Ryan Ferguson
9 - Brock McLean, Aaron Davey
6 - Clint Bizzell, Shannon Motlop
5 - Jared Rivers, David Neitz, Daniel Bell
4 - Alistair Nicholson, Daniel Ward, Phil Read
3 - James McDonald, Brad Miller, Paul Wheatley
2 - Matthew Whelan, Guy Rigoni
1 - Ben Holland

Congratulations Travis on winning the most prestigious prize in football journalism - The Demonblog.com Allen Jakovich Medal. Sadly the AFL nicked our medal and rebranded it the "Brownlow" and are going to give it to Ben Cousins instead so there's no prize. A big hand also to Russell Robertson for winning the "Judges Award" for the person we thought should win but couldn't quite rig the votes enough to get up, and Colin Sylvia for taking home the "Craig Smoker Rising Star" for 2005.

In the "tying up loose ends corner" congratulations to Mel who won our inaugural competition by sending in pictures of her posing with Duncan O'Toole (!) and BOTH Cockatoo-Collins brothers. Your prize is on the way.

Never fear, Demonblog is not finished for this year yet! It will comprehensively die in the arse at the start of next month as I skip the country to follow the third sexiest sporting team in the world, but until then we'll be firing out season in review features, great moments in history and wild trade speculation. Judd for Luke Williams? YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST. If you've anything to say on anything football related send it in and (as long as it conforms to our strict anti-defamation laws) we'll print it.