Pre-Season Update Corner

Having not seen a second of Friday's match, nor read anything more than a few snippets from reporters who were probably filing from the pub after fifteen bottles of red I'm not going to leap up and down on the panic button over our loss yet. In fact when the only contact you've got with a game is reading snatches of Twitter reports backwards at about 3am (nothing sinister was involved, let me assure you) then you might as well discount the whole thing as never having existed a'la the career of The Meese.

So, given that the media outlets can't even be bothered to provide five alleged best players I can only give four votes out for the PPPfPPP. Good thing it was already won.

Paul Prymke Plate for Pre-Season Performance votes
5 - Addam Maric
4 - Aaron Davey
3 - James Grimes
2 - Tom Scully
1 - Harry Crapper

Final Leaderboard
16 – Colin Sylvia (WINNER: PPPfPPP)
135 - Jack Grimes
11 - Addam Maric
8 - Mark Jamar
7 - Aaron Davey
6 - Neville Jetta
5 - Colin Garland
5 – Tom Scully
4 - Stefan Martin
4 – Rohan Bail
4 - Liam Jurrah
2 – James Strauss
1 – Jared Rivers
1 - Jack Watts
1 - Jack Trengove
1 - Luke Tapscott

So congratulations to Sylvia for winning the most meaningless award since the Michael Tuck Medal.

Still, how long ago does it does it feel since we assumed that we were the next big thing after winning in Adelaide? You'll have to wait another fortnight before discovering whether that meant anything at all, but the fact remains that we've not won a four quarter game of footy this year.

Not such a surprise in the pre-season, I don't have a full record of practice games over the last decade but I know from living it that our record is putrid.

It'll be interesting to see what happens if we get done against the Swans. Actually, scratch that I can tell you exactly what will happen and that's that there will be a meltdown of people trying to get him the sack. Assuming the result is respectable I won't be rushing to join them, but I still have recurring nightmares that Bailey is some Ali Dia style chancer who has no idea and has bluffed his way into the job. He certainly says all the right things, but he'll be saying them in a Centrelink interview if we turn out to be shite this year.

It's been a long time (well.. just over a month anyway) since my first speculative stab at betting markets, predicted ladders and a final 21 +1. The Demonblog Towers Commodore 64 has been busy processing the events of the last month (apart from last night which gave us nothing) and has come up with the following hastily cobbled together bollocks.

Demonblog's chosen 21+1
B: Tapscott, Warnock, Garland
HB: Grimes, Rivers, Bartram
C: Moloney, Scully, Trengove
HF: Sylvia, Green, Dunn
F: Maric, Jurrah, Petterd
Foll: Jamar, Jones, Davey
I/C: Watts, Bail, Jetta
Sub: Martin
EM: Macdonald, Gysberts, Spencer

IN: Maric, Jetta, Tapscott, Warnock, Bail
OUT: Frawley, Morton, McKenzie (inj), Macdonald (omit)

Some of these are a bit lucky. Warnock and Martin haven't shown squat during the pre-season but they're in out necessity. Maric and Jetta are the pre-season bolters and as far as I'm concerned we might as well play Tapscott now rather than Macdonald who has been pure toilet recently. This is wishful thinking anyway, Green has barely been near the forward line all pre-season and Bailey will probably play this starting 18 anyway;

B: Tapscott, Warnock, Garland, Grimes, Rivers, Bartram, Moloney, Scully, Trengove, Sylvia, Green, Dunn, Maric, Jurrah
F: Petterd
Foll: Jamar, Jones, Davey

Betting Markets
Allen Jakovich Medal for Player of the Year

Now it looks like Green is going to be played all over the place his odds have blown out, while the potential for a Jamar one-man show in the ruck has seen him fly into equal second favourite. Big movers (in the right) direction are Maric, Jetta, Garland, Tapscott and Cook with Jones, Rivers, Bate, Macdonald, McKenzie, Campbell and Gawn going the other way.

$3.50 - Colin Sylvia
$4 - Aaron Davey, Mark Jamar
$5 - Brad Green
$7 - Jack Grimes
$9 - Jack Trengove, Tom Scully, Liam Jurrah, Brent Moloney
$15 - Nathan Jones, James Frawley
$18 - Cale Morton, Ricky Petterd
$25 - Jared Rivers, Jack Watts, Lynden Dunn, Colin Garland
$35 - Jordan Gysberts, Addam Maric
$40 - Matthew Bate, Clint Bartram, Neville Jetta
$50 - Jamie Bennell
$60 - Joel Macdonald, Rohan Bail
$70 - Matthew Warnock
$80 - Jordie McKenzie, Austin Wonaeamirri, Luke Tapscott, James Strauss
$90 - Stefan Martin
$100 - Jake Spencer, Sam Blease
$150 - Lucas Cook
$300 - Jack Fitzpatrick, Michael Newton, Robert Campbell
$500 - Max Gawn, Tom McNamara, Jeremy Howe
$750 - Troy Davis, Tom McDonald
$1000 - Kelvin Lawrence, Daniel Nicholson, Michael Evans, Cameron Johnston

Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year
Given his earlier start to the year Grimes will probably get more votes than Frawley but he's every possible chance of being DQ'ed for playing too much in the midfield so beware. Martin and Bennell could also lose out on the multi-position rule.

$4 - Jack Grimes, James Frawley
$8 - Colin Garland
$10 - Jared Rivers
$12 - Matthew Warnock
$15 - Joel Macdonald, Jamie Bennell
$18 - ANY OTHER PLAYER
$35 - James Strauss
$40 - Stefan Martin, Tom McNamara
$1000 - NO ELIGIBLE PLAYER (No defenders get a vote)

Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year
Tapscott's pre-season form sees him strengthen his position as favourite, while Blease, Gawn and Fitzpatrick all lose ground for not having been seen. Still every chance that none of the players will get a vote and it will not be presented for only the second time in history.

$3.50 - Luke Tapscott
$8 - Lucas Cook
$15 - Sam Blease
$18 - NO ELIGIBLE PLAYER
$25 - Jack Fitzpatrick
$30 - Jeremy Howe
$40 - Max Gawn
$50 - Troy Davis, Tom McDonald
$100 - Kelvin Lawrence, Daniel Nicholson, Michael Evans, Cameron Johnston

Jim Stynes Medal for Ruckman of the Year (Formerly the Strawbs O'Dwyer Medal)
Only injury can stop Jamar, and even then there's no guarantee that whoever replaces him will crack it for a vote. As with the defenders award Stef Martin is a danger of being ruled ineligible.

2011 market
$1.15 - Mark Jamar
$18 - Jake Spencer
$30 - Jack Fitzpatrick, Max Gawn, Robert Campbell, Stefan Martin
$40 - ANY OTHER PLAYER
$60 - NO ELIGIBLE PLAYER

Projected league ladder
I'm no longer confident that we're going to finish in the eight. Obviously more than happy to be proven wrong but I've tried optimism and I didn't much like it so being surprised will have to do.

1 - Collingwood
--- Daylight ---
2 - St Kilda
3 - Geelong
4 - Hawthorn
5 - Fremantle
6 - Footscray
--- making up the numbers ---
7 - Adelaide
8 - North Melbourne
9 - Sydney
10 - Carlton
11 - Melbourne
12 - Essendon
--- Treading water ---
13 - Port Adelaide
14 - Richmond
15 - West Coast
--- No chance ---
16 - Gold Coast
17 - Brisbane

See you in a fortnight for the depression session!