Great Caseys of our time

#1

Casey Jones

Does this ring a bell for you? Dominate all day but have no forward line structure and get beaten in the last few minutes. I know the Scorpions are trying to build a relationship with us but totally ripping off our way of life is another thing all together.

Congrats to those of you who actually made it totally. And a big hand to Vic Roads for not putting up any signs to indicate that there were 'bridge works' until you'd already been sitting in the traffic 5km beforehand for 20 minutes. Idiots. No wonder that the crowd built up slowly through the first half, everyone was probably stuck at Forster Road (where?) swearing loudly.

So Box Hill won. Not that they entirely deserved it, but such is life. The Scorpions should have put it away in the first quarter when Danny Hughes was running riot up front and kicking 1.3 in the first ten minutes. At 1.5 to 1.0 with ten minutes of dominance behind 'us' (I suppose) it seemed like the Hawks were going to get run over. When one Mr. A Yze botched a kick-in to create the first goal you thought that everything was surely going to go right and we were going to see some sort of win for a team connected to Melbourne. But of course you were wrong because the world is a cruel place. Holding no more than a two goal lead all day the game swung back and forth until the last quarter when the Hawks kicked away to win by 15 points.

Casey had their chances but couldn't get anything going in the forward line. Their captain, in particular, had a day best described as 'suburban'. Highlighted by getting a free-kick deep into the last, feigning left then right to play on and then just falling over to be tackled for holding the ball. Thank god for him Phil, Roscoe and the ABC cameras weren't there or he'd be on blooper reels for the rest of history.

Speaking of momentous occasions I'm convinced that I've never seen a worse umpired game. Box Hill were so badly rorted in the first half that it's a credit to them to have been within ten goals. Guys were getting tackled a millisecond after getting the ball and copping free kicks, tackles around the chest were being called too high, and most notably a mark was followed by a 50m penalty for an indiscretion by a Casey player... which then got reversed into a free kick for Casey. HOW? There was clearly no biffo behind the play. It was absolutely baffling. I'd love to see the total free kick count because it must have been astronomical. Then, naturally, in the last when it got crucial they stopped paying them. It was shite. You will, however, be pleased to know that none of them were - or presumably will ever be - AFL listed umpires.

Don't believe the reports about Bell being BOG (serviceable, nothing special) Jamar was easily our best and should walk into the team next week. He beat Renouf and dominated the Box Hill ruckman as well as getting a heap of possessions around the ground (by his standards) and flying high into marking contests and spoils everywhere.

McNamara was second best. He did a good job in the backline, moved into the midfield confidently and even slotted a couple of goals. I can't see where he fits into our backline at the moment if Rivers comes back, but he's got to get a run before the end of the season.

Bell and Buckley were ok without doing anything particuarly exciting. See also McKenzie and Bail. Jetta was Jetta - lots of hustle and a few nice moves by an efficiency rating lower than Zimbabwe's national bank balance.

The delivery inside the forward 50 was rubbish which didn't help Newton. His chase was good but when gifted opportunities to kick goals he couldn't get the job done. I expect both he and Hughes will be spending a lot more time at this level in years to come.

Finally Watts. The messiah himself. Couldn't get much love inside 50 for the same reasons as Newton, but came out for a run on the ball in the 2nd quarter and looked good. Didn't do much else, needs a few more weeks in the slops before we consider unveiling him. Having said that I'm sure that the board are licking their lips at the prospect of bringing him out on QB just to put an extra 5,000 bandwagon scum in the seats. They do not deserve him, only we who have suffered.

Thus endeth the worst match report of all time. What did you expect?