Twat's Entertainment

So, we lost again last night. Not that you'd know from the shithouse reportage of the event. For the record Richmond beat us by 35 points in Cairns, but you'd hardly know it had even taken place. One pissy story clearly written by an agency writer who probably wasn't even at the game has been reproduced on every single website without any insights whatsoever. Who kicked the goals? Who played well? Actually, who played full stop?

Yes, in a week where the AFL have decided that they're going to add new teams and make a shitload of money they can't even be bothered to give you proper updated scores (even quarter by quarter) or a decent report on a game. So what if it's a practice game, if you're going to give it some gimmick name like the NAB Regional Challenge then at least treat it with some respect. It's bad enough that we get such shithouse coverage that we don't even get to watch drafts, but this is complete balls. They're probably making millions out of their website every year and they can't even get one of their officials on a junket in Cairns to phone through some scores for the website every once in a while.

When you're reduced to reading forums where people are posting information that they're getting from somebody at the ground who is sending them text messages, then you've got to start wondering what sort of competition you're actually following. Can you imagine that kind of a scenario in the NFL or Premier League? Sure, if the practice match is Melbourne vs the Diamond Valley D4 amateurs then fair enough leave it alone, but when you pit two legitimate AFL sides against each other (though having seen both Melbourne and Richmond last year there might be some argument against legitimacy) at least put some effort into it you peanuts.

Where does this leave us? Well, I'd like to be able to tell you - I really would. Talk to me next week.

All I know is that Juice Newton necked himself and went off in a brace. We wish the great man all the best.

Paul Prymke Plate for Pre-Season Performance Votes
Who the fuck knows? 5 for Phil Gilbert, 4 for Trent Ormond-Allen and spill the rest between Andrew Lamprill, Vin Cattogio and Fatoui freaking Atata for all I know

Next Week
I think it's Footscray in Bendigo on Friday night. I'm not taking any more chances, I'll be there. Hook me up with a wireless modem by then and I'll liveblog it. Otherwise I'll just sit there (possibly in a car, honking the horn whenever there's a goal) and self-harm for four quarters.

Of course, given the farcical nature of scheduling in this competition we may very well turn out to play the Nashville Kangaroos in Bangkok.

[b]UPDATE[/b]

The Sunday Age presents us with a best players list. I have every suspicion that it's a complete fiction, especially because it lists our best player as a "C. Newton", but given that they're a newspaper and Demonblog is - err - not I'll take their word for it. Votes and leaderboard are therefore as follows,

5 - Newton
4 - Jones
3 - Davey
2 - Sylvia
1 - Johnson

Leaderboard

8 - Jones
5 - Buckley
5 - Newton
3 - Valenti
3 - Davey
3 - Sylvia
2 - Garland
1 - Johnson