Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Every Day Is Like Sunday: Year In Review

Round 1 vs St. Kilda or "Give Me My Friday Night Back"
Where we lost to St. Kilda and made the prophetic statement "Yes, it's going to be one of those years", after Brock necked himself in the first quarter.
Vote Leader: Neitz (5)

Round 2 vs Hawthorn or "Marjorie Wilson Appreciation Day
Where we gave up a massive start to Hawthorn and almost nailed them in the last quarter before falling apart again and I started to question ND's tenure as coach.
Vote Leader: McDonald (8)

Round 3 vs Geelong or "My Brain Hurts"
Where I discovered that our entire lineup were gumbies, that I hated sports and that we had no fans left.
Vote Leader: McDonald/Bruce (11)

Round 4 vs Fremantle or "Dia De Los Muertos" (Day Of The Dead)
Where everybody else discovered we didn't have any fans either, and to the consternation of fantasy football players everywhere Matthew Pavlich failed to kick 19 despite having chances to do so.
Vote Leader: McDonald/Bruce (11)

Round 5 vs Sydney or "Road Trip Rage"
Where our guest reporter Tom discovered that the family atmosphere at the SCG was rubbish, and that you should never compare Steven Tingay to Darren Kowal in front of a Febey twin.
Vote Leader: McDonald (12)

Round 6 vs Port Adelaide or "The Spanish Inquisition"
Where we almost broke our losing streak, and I lost the plot with AFL football in one of the biggest sprays of all time. We lost the game, I lost the plot and so it went on. For those of you reading in the future we were zero and fucking six by this point.
Vote Leader: McDonald (12)

Round 7 vs Footscray or "Watching The Defectives"
Where we lost another close one but apart from punching the ground and almost breaking my hand I felt strangely zen about the whole thing.
Vote Leader: McDonald (12)

Round 8 vs West Coast or "Throwing yourself off tall buildings is fun"
Where I cracked the shits, wrote the worst report of all time and refused to post a votes leaderboard due to my angst. Peter M later chipped in with a real report, tastefully entitled "Rack up the lines, we're off to Subi"
Vote Leader: Would have been McDonald on 15 had we bothered to do a leaderboard.

Round 9 vs North Melbourne or "Beat Me, Hurt Me"
Where we lost a thriller in the last couple of minutes again, and I had a nervous breakdown which led me to write one of the most bizarre reports of all time featuring mentions of Sylvia Plath and Vichy France.
Vote Leader: Bruce (16)

Round 10 vs Adelaide or "We Fought The War, And We Won (a game..)"
Where we finally won a game (IN JUNE FOR FUCK SAKE) and unbridled joy ran riot at the MCG. It was honestly like we'd won the Grand Final, not limped to 1-9.
Vote Leader: Bruce (19)

Round 11 vs Collingwood or "From the Rubble to the Ritz"
Where we won two in a row, Robbo ran riot, Pies fans blamed the umpires for everything despite getting more free kicks and people started to think that we'd turned the corner and were going to win the flag.
Vote Leader: Bruce (19)

Round 12 vs Richmond or "Why bother?"
Where it all came crashing down in a screaming heap during a second quarter that was described by David Stratton of the Movie Show as "an excremental zero star performance that nobody should ever be forced to sit through again without access to hard drugs and a suicide machine".
Vote Leader: Bruce (19)

Round 13 vs Essendon or "The hits just keep on coming"
Where Neale Daniher quit and almost got the send off a lifetime until we lost with six seconds left in the match. We also saw the debut of the cult hero of the millenium one Mr.MJ Newton.
Vote Leader: Bruce (19)

Round 14 vs Carlton
Where I was overseas listening to the game from a Bangkok internet cafe and missed us actually winning. Instead I got to see the Australian soccer team lose instead - inept bastards.

Round 15 vs Brisbane
Where I extracted myself from a dodgy Thai taxi driver in time to get to an internet cafe at the 20m mark of the first quarter, only to find out that we were 40-0 now. Cuntarific!

Round 16 vs North Melbourne or "Notes From A Scandal"
Where we were played off the park in front of about 13 people in Jeff White's 250th, and I tried to lobby (ultimately unsuccessfully) for Dean Laidley to be appointed as coach.
Vote Leader: McDonald (27)

Round 17 vs Port Adelaide or "Character Assasination"
Where we went to Adelaide and got massacred whilst wearing a "clash strip" that actually clashed more with the opposition than our normal one would have. For the first time in a decade we went 100 points down before recovering for a "respectable" 80 something point loss. Adam almost slashes wrists in loungeroom while watching.
Vote Leader: McDonald (27)

Round 18 vs Sydney or "Roadtrip Fever"
Where I went to Manuka and wrote a report before totally forgotting to post it. Therefore the above link is it's world premiere.
Vote Leader: McDonald (27)

Round 19 vs Footscray or "Saturday Night Fever"
Where Ben Holland ran riot up front, and we handed out a spanking to a completely mediocre side in Russell Robertson's 200th in front of another abysmal crowd.
Vote Leader: Jones (29)

Round 20 vs Collingwood or "We could have been a contender"
Where we suffered the biggest injury crisis in recorded history and yet still almost managed to mow Collingwood down from 40 points behind. There were spontaneous outbursts of pride amongst our fans at the showing - except that 90% of our fans didn't bother to show up even though it was Neitz's 300th because they're spineless dogs.
Vote Leader: McDonald (32)

Round 21 vs Fremantle or "Super Saturday Slops"
Where we went to Perth and were competitive for the first 20 minutes before falling apart like a Russian apartment block and completely embarassing ourselves again.
Vote Leader: McDonald, Green, Jones (32)

Round 22 vs Carlton or "Thank god that's over. When does next year start?"
Where despite playing an absymal team of rejects who didn't actually want to win we showed enough to provide optimism for next year, and to send Biz, Brown and Pickett off in the right fashion
Vote Winner: Jones (34)

No comments:

Post a Comment