That will do nicely

By mid-October, I should be separating the M and F elements of MFC (the meaning of 'C' can be altered to suit your feeling about the organisation at the time), but I assume it's always a bit of a flat week when a couple of premiership winning club legends find/are shown the door. It's sad, but you can't have lost flag heroes without the flag so I'll be happy to go through this again in the future. There's an emergency trade wrap-up post sitting in my drafts, but the energy didn't stretch far beyond using the long-awaited 'Trac runs out' line, and suggesting 'Jiath's Crackers' as a replacement for Howie's Hangers/Hogan's Heroes so I think we'll just park that division of the club until 2026 and come back with fingers crossed so tight we'll all be on the emotional green whistle by June.

After all that I could've done with a week away from all footy topics to be honest, but as Guest Reporter O'Clock hasn't struck yet, I thought this might be a nice palate cleanser. In the end it was, but when two goals down in the first quarter it was looking less like drinking away your man troubles and more like garging Drano.

Before the unexpected deficit, there was a reminder that things can always get worse than having a sook in the comfort on your own home. Sinead Goldrick already had a bandage over one eye, and about 25 seconds after the first bounce she was clobbered in a tackle and left the ground clutching her nose as if it was going to disintegrate Michael Jackson style. I disputed the claim of the boundary rider that she'd "gone down to the rooms" as if there's some secret underground lair at Casey (though, to be honest I haven't been there for about 10 years so will stand corrected in the unlikely event etc...), but considering the obvious schnoz discomfort and previous damage in the same area it was lucky her head didn't split open like a ripe tomato. 

I thought that was the last we'd see of Goldrick for the rest of the game, but contrary to the trained medical analysis of Dr. Demonblog, she soon returned without having to resort to the old 'face held together with sticky tape' method like that bloke from GWS. Not even a Mr. Poon-style bandaid under the nose, which was a testament to her resilience, our medical staff, and/or me drastically overreacting [UPDATE - Turns out she had a fractured eye socket, so all of the above?]. The clobbering seemed to save us from a blatant holding the ball, but considering the crimes against correct disposal that went unpunished for the rest of the game there's no guarantee it would've been paid anyway.

We got away with that, but Sydney still got the first goal not long after. Obviously they'd missed the memo about opposition sides at Casey Fields reaching 3/4 time on 0.something. I rationalised that it was ok to concede first because they were kicking with the wind, but it turns out this was just an invention of my demented mind. I don't trust the commentators going on about how still it was when their studio was only 20km closer to the ground than Demonblog Towers, but I'll accept that they had better information from colleagues at the ground. That, and the wind never once being a factor for the rest of the game. In my defence, there was a kick just before this which looked to hold up on the breeze. Additionally in my defence, there's 20+ years of evidence on this site that I've got NFI.

Then, like a repeat of the Freo debacle, we turned a couple of shizen forward entries into conceding again, and seeing the Swans run ointo a loose ball inside 50 was a bit *nervous adjustment of collar*. The collar was gradually loosened over the next two quarters, but while karma, jinxes and all footy mysticism is bullshit, I was cursing the pre-match commentator chat about Hore kicking the four goals needed to become the first AFLW player to the career ton. Let's just get four in total first, and if we didn't it would only be marginally less embarassing than Fox Footy suggesting the men were about to launch a blockbuster Brisbane '24 style comeback and win the flag shortly before losing to St Kilda after kicking about 32 consecutive points.

I was already in 'excuses and complaints' mode, so after our earlier attacking disappointments I thought "surely they could have picked a smaller player" when Georgia Campbell had the ball 50 metres out, before she dropped an absolute ripper of a kick on Zanker at the top of the square. With Zippy Fish on the other side, this may have been footy's biggest day for the letter 'Z' since our first year under Paul Roos.

Goldrick's return from the dead came in time for an audition to join the British and Irish Lions, heaving out the biggest throw of all time to set up Hore to kick an absolute ripper in the forward pocket. As she bounced it through from an obscure angle I thought we'd signed off the Goal of the Year award, only for the title to be snatched from her grasp less than two quarters later. I know what he meant, but Daniel Harford's post-goal declaration that "She's a little bit special" was somewhat politically incorrect. 

Related - I quite enjoyed Harford's off the chain commentary, regularly hanging shit on umpiring and taking a relaxed attitude to calling players the right name. You wouldn't accept it over the Grand Final, but if there's ever a time for pissfarting around on the call it's when the viewing audience would be lucky to reach five figures. It was also good that they kept having to mention the Sydney player called 'Sargeant-Wilson' because it made it seem like you were watching an episode of Blue Heelers.

If I knew Sydney was going to stop dead after their third goal I'd have taken it a lot better. In the week of Taj Woewodin's delisting there was nearly something for Daniher-era parents when Rigoni had a shot that was touched through in the last minute. This left us trailing at quarter time, which was good for football I suppose, and now you know the result it was a better pre-finals rev up than spending four quarters punching down on slop.

I thought Rigoni had just wandered forward to get a kick, but it turns out she was actually following Sydney's improbably named Z. Fish around, and this led to her to be in the right place to mark Hore's kick 20 metres out directly in front. I'm not entirely anti-joy, but find iot unnecessary for players to charge from the other end of the ground to celebrate a first career goal. Conserve your energy and offer congratulations with a hearty handshake at the next break of play thanks. She didn't do much else, but it's interesting that they're trying non-Pisano options in the forward line when she's a #5 pick contracted until the end of 2027. Not like Melbourne to neck ourselves with a long term contract is it?

The goal by a famous relative opened the relative floodgates, and Zanker got another straight after despite the Sydney fan yelling "AWW COME AWN!" straight into the effects mic after a free kick in the build-up. I wonder if they identify people who can be clearly heard and send somebody over to say "for god's sake, don't drop the C bomb or do any sort of 'ism", because one day extra spicy talk will go to air, and given that commentators always react when loudmouth yelling is heard they can't feign surprise that such a thing could ever be heard on their broadcast. I'm offering direct entry into our folklore for anyone who shouts 'Demonblog', 'Demonwiki', or 'I saw Mark Jamar kick five goals' loud enough for it to be heard on national television.

Theoretically Sydney were still in range, but now we'd tightened up at the back and there was no more casual wandering into an open goal. On the other hand we'd clearly fired up, and got the next one when Rigoni and Bannan kept the ball alive in front of goal long enough for celebrity finger victim Heath to sneak in and crumb one through traffic. Even more people got involved with the next goal, as it went through Fitzsimon, McNamara, and Hore, before Johnson fumbled fortuitously to Wotherspoon's advantage, before Harris got it from the square.

This was more like it, and we spent the last few minutes of the half smashing the door down for what may have been the sealer. It never came, but we did survive their player running an ultra-marathon through the middle of the ground for what would've been the moral counterweight to us getting our first goal from a gigantic throw. But it missed, Sydney never got another goal, and the second half was a gentle version of procession mode. Apparently their plane was hit by lightning twice, which still isn't as good an excuse as us having four players stuck in a lift last week. The commentary box treated this news like they were all lucky to be alive, as if half the 20,000 planes in the air as you're reading this aren't being randomly pelted with lightning without plummeting to earth.

We needed the death blow, and it was provided by Zanker from close range. I still think it's sensible to cash in one of our tall forwards for shit hot picks or players, but under no circumstances should it be Zanker. But I'm not going to tell you who I think it should be, because refer previous comments about having NFI. About the only controversial opinion I've got self-confidence about is that this league would get a much better airing if it didn't interact at all with the men's season, and I choose to claim a crowd of a few hundred better than usual as justification.

Once we had the first goal post-break it was obvious where this game was going. Sydney had enough about them to avoid being steamrolled, but there was a clear difference between our kicking to spare players, and their "oh shit" panic booting of the ball as far forward as possible. They'd stopped scoring, but had some claims to being unlucky about the next goal. After already conceding the Hore goal from a ridiculous angle, somehow there was an even more ridiculous one to follow. 

With all respect to the captain, if they could only pick one of ours for a Goal of the Week nomination (and as Tayla Harris 2/3 in a recent MOTY, this is unlikely) not choosing Zanker should be subject to a Royal Commission. She had to pick a crap handball up off the ground, had a first shot from the boundary line smothered, then regathered and instantly chipped it through from a ridiculous angle. Hore's was good, this was great and whoever choses the weekly options should be keelhauled for not selecting it.

The tall forward goal collection was completed by Bannan, and after those ropey few minutes in the opening quarter we were pissing this in, going back into second on the ladder courtesy of a 109% gap over Hawthorn that acts less as a tiebreaker and more of a tiedestroyer. And, err, then not much happened for the next quarter and a half. It was the middle point between Gold Coast, when your grandmother could get a shot at goal in the final term, and Richmond/West Coast when the job was done and feet went up. 

We had six scoring shots for six points, while Sydney had nil for nil. We keep waiting for the day when Zanker really goes on with a game and kicks nine, but you won't find me complaining about four from anyone in any Melbourne side. After the dicey start we were pretty good, and as much as I find the idea of playing finals at Casey offensive it may be our best chance of going through. For now we know top eight is sealed, and unless something really wacky happens in the next fortnight the next question is finishing 2nd, 3rd, or 4th and the accompanying finals implications. I'd be happy to play next week and just skip straight to working out who gets the flag if that's ok with everyone else.

2025 Daisy Pearce Medal votes
5 - Eden Zanker
4 - Kate Hore
3 - Megan Fitzsimon
2 - Tyla Hanks
1 - Tahlia Gillard

Apologies to Chaplin, Heath, McNamara, Paxman, and Pearce.

Leaderboard
It's semi-back on at the top, as Hore closes the gap to one straight BOG. Alas it looks like curtains for the surprise Chaplin challenge, but she's all but unbeatable from here in the defender award. At a conservative estimation of 20 votes left, it means the line of elimination has taken out another group of contenders further four contenders.

32 - Tyla Hanks
27 - Kate Hore
21 - Maeve Chaplin (PROVISIONAL WINNER: Defender of the Year)
16 - Tayla Harris
12 - Eliza McNamara
--- Abandon all hope below here ---
11 - Eden Zanker
8 - Megan Fitzsimon
6 - Olivia Purcell 
5 - Paxy Paxman
4 - Lauren Pearce (LEADER: Ruck of the Year)
3 - Sinead Goldrick, Shelley Heath
1 - Tahlia Gillard, Saraid Taylor (LEADER: Rising Star Award), Ryleigh Wotherspoon

Goal of the Week
Hore from the pocket was beaten by Hore from the pocket, before being swept out of the top two entirely by a goal that deserves direct entry to the Hall of Grouse.

Edo's on fire at Casey! 🔥#AFLWDeesSwans pic.twitter.com/230VeGLcoD

— Melbourne AFLW (@MelbourneAFLW) October 18, 2025

Next Week
Not often you get a season defining game when second on the ladder with two games to play, but an away game against Brisbane is it. Our only top four opposition of the season, having beaten up on the downtrodden, but lost in almost exactly the same way to a couple of fringe finals contenders. If we win decently I'll get excited about finals glory, if we lose in drab fashion I'll paint a yellow stripe down my back and mentally concede another straight sets finals exit, and if it's close either way then for god's sake skip the last round and get on with the important stuff ASAP.  

Final thoughts
Still not sure this transfers to beating top sides, but happy to be proven wrong. I think some variation fo this has been the final thought about four times already this year, hopefully next week gives some answers.