Well every man and his dog knew we were going to lose this week anyway, so I don’t think any of us are surprised at the result today but what a traditionally Melbourne move to tease us by playing a competitive first 20 minutes before completely falling apart. I’m so disillusioned by this season that despite looking at the teams on Thursday night and Friday I was still surprised that Buckley and Johnson were playing – nothing against them personally I just want it all to be over.
So for most of the first quarter Fremantle looked flat and we were more than a match for them. Usually I’m terrifically negative about football, but every once in a while even I get sucked in and start to think that maybe something remarkable is going to happen. But this is Melbourne we’re talking about here so it didn’t. In fact after taking a two goal lead in the first quarter it went horribly wrong.
So wrong in fact that the Dockers kicked their highest second quarter score ever. Not tremendously impressive given that they’ve only been around for 12 years, and have spent most of that time losing, but significant nonetheless. Internet connection in Australia almost overloaded during the week from everyone making Pavlich the captain of their fantasy footy team, and he didn’t let them down by ripping Carroll to shreds. You can’t blame NC, after all Pavlich is a freak, but what other options have we got? Ferguson has put on weight this year but still appears to be more emaciated than an anorexic who has been on a desert island for ten years.
I half expected that at any minute Jakovich (not the good one), Shaw or Casey would start talking about how Chris Connolly built the Freo team, and how he could do the same to Melbourne as well. That would have been the cue to pick up the phone and start abusing some poor call centre monkey at Foxtel. Somebody has to feel the wrath for this season, and if it has to be some poor bastard in a call centre in Micronesia who can’t tell the difference between a footy and a coconut then so be it.
For the person who wrote in last week to whinge about my massive anti-Brad Miller agenda and claimed that I never blamed anybody else for being useless this one’s for you. Mark Jamar must go – he is completely inept. Jeff White massacred it in the centre during the first quarter, then the moment he went off for his ‘rest’ and Jamar came on it all started going backwards. We had Paul Johnson in the side as well and it took until we’d copped about five goals in a row until he got a chance. Sad. Miller was surprisingly respectable, but at the same time there is no way that we will have him in our team next year if we’re serious. Johnson ended up on Chris Tarrant at the start of the second half, which is exactly the point he should have walked out, told Mark Riley to piss off and never come back – it’s one thing being played wildly out of position but when it’s on the shittest player ever you have to make some sort of statement. Daniel Ward would be another one dissecting the Adelaide phone book to find an SANFL club to play for next season – he is pretty much G-A-W-N GONE. Though who fucking knows what’s going to happen next year – we’ll probably end up with the same team and win the flag with Miller kicking 12 in the Grand Final for all I know.
The tide was stemmed in the third quarter, but like the woman in The Club who was belted for saying the old guy got shaded in the grand final, the damage was already done. It was good to see some of our guys randomly starting fights to keep themselves amused while the world crumbled around them. The best move was Neita running from inside 50 to belt Ryan Crowley for daring to rough up Lynden Dunn. Nobody believes that we’ve got a team of hard-nuts, but the least we can see is a bit of violence no matter how manufactured it is.
Shockingly enough we actually outplayed Freo in the third, but just like the first we couldn't put the goals on the board to get it closer than five goals. Then the Norwood bound Ward gave away a completely pointless fifty that led to a Jeff Farmer goal and the door was well and truly jammed shut. Against the odds Ferguson did alright on Pavlich, and the wrists of fantasy football players all over the nation were slashed. Ward gave away another free kick, leading to another Farmer goal and Daniel ignored his opportunity to at least leave a legacy by not walking over and dropping the crunt. What's a ten week suspension when you're getting the sack anyway? Suddenly they kicked four in nine minutes and we were 50 points behind again. Either it's a cruel sport or we're inept - and I know which one I favour.
There were signs today. Ignore the second quarter and we went alright. There's some danger, injury plague notwithstanding, that we might be competitive next year. I wouldn't talk finals unless I was extremely drunk but I think 10th or 11th is realistic.
Random Thoughts
Have you ever wanted to go to Subi, find the guy who rings the bell whenever Peter Bell gets it and STAB HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE WITH A BROKEN BOTTLE? I sure have.
How unattractive is Jace Bode's designer stubble? The key to footballing nirvana is not to look like George Michael in the Faith video.
Crowd Watch
In my loungeroom – 2. One left at quarter time, but it still gets counted in the official attendance. After that it was just me and a compulsion to go to the bottle shop next door, buy a truckload of Scotch, neck it and jump under a train.
At Subiaco – Who cares. Win, lose or draw they weren’t making the 8 anyway and we’ll be lucky to make the Top 15. Roll on 2008.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Brad Green
4 - Brock McLean
3 - Jeff White
2 - Nathan Jones
1 - Nathan Brown
Apologies to Robertson, Johnstone, Johnson, Ferguson and Bruce (2nd half only)
Leaderboard
I pledge that this isn't rigged. It's just turned out this way. The way we're going none of them will play next week and it will be a wild 3-way tie.
32 - McDonald
32 - Green
32 - Jones
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - White
16 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
13 - McLean
12 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
10 - Holland
10 - Brown
9 - Neitz
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Equal Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Newton (Equal Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Carroll
2 - Dunn
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
1 - Ferguson
Next Week
Against Carlton at the MCG in what promises to be the worst game ever played. You know that the players won’t want to throw the game, but can you be so sure about the coaching staff? Maybe Mark Riley’s ruckman wankfest this week is designed to the hide the fact that we’re going to tank in Round 22? When the AFL start investigating the club will go “but he had no idea last week either”. Roll on a new coach, even if it is Chris Connolly – I just want to see somebody from outside the club come in and make changes. We can’t afford to have a coach in the chair who has loyalties to players already on the list.
I've been saying for weeks if you don't want us to win next week don't show up. Now even I'm starting to wonder. I'll put it this way - I won't complain if we do. Somebody will and they will hopefully be bashed by everyone in the ground no matter what team they support. I've got to admit it will be funny to see Carlton fans break down if they win.
Next season
Roll on!
Saturday, 25 August 2007
Friday, 17 August 2007
We could have been a contender
I can't remember too many times when I have been prouder of a loss than I am tonight. Against a team fighting for a top four birth, and after a first half that only be described as execrable the boys came out of the blocks at a million miles an hour in the second half and almost pulled off the biggest comeback since the proverbial.
It seemed that everyone had been schooled in the Brad Miller school of playing on unnecessarily and handballing to a teammate's back. The Pies were already three goals up before we'd had more than a handful of touches, and it was shades of the Port Adelaide match again. Luckily the backline stood up (yes, read that again - the backline. Stood up.) and eventually we added goals of our own, to drag us back into the contest despite being completely shit for most of the quarter. Meanwhile why exactly is Mark Jamar in our team? I don't give a toss that he almost took mark of the year in the third quarter, he's shit.
Collingwood's tactic to have Harry O drag Robbo to all parts of the ground worked a treat in the first half, and the rare site of Russell Robertson playing in the backline was a rare moment that those of us who were there are likely to forget within a few days, before bringing it up in the pub when pissed in about five years time.
The second quarter saw us not only fail to kick a goal, but also lose Ben Holland possibly for the last time after he was sat on by the less talented of the Rocca brothers. Broken arm, dislocated shoulder, kracked kollarbone - whatever it is he's done for the year and after playing two great games, and outplaying Rocca across the first quarter the poor bastard left the ground looking as if he'd had his arm driven over by a jeep. As I said last week I support giving him another year on the list, but I wonder if this injury will wreck his chances.
The third quarter continued in the same vein as the second, and when Pendlebury goaled to put the Pies 41 points in front it looked like we were going to get massacred. Then in what is likely to be the biggest talking point in the media this week Ben Johnson massacred Daniel Bell and strangely things began to turn around. There will be general anti-Johnson outrage and the suggestion that he should be crowbarred in a carpark, but at the risk of being controversial I won't be involving myself. First things first we employ Byron Pickett, and if that's not enough said on the issue of players who belt people for no apparent reason I don't know what is, but the fact of the matter is that no matter how bad it looked it wasn't deliberate. A reckless piece of play that could have had tragic conseqeuences, but not the worst thing ever done on a footy field. The guy will cop his fair whack from the tribunal with a four game suspension that will mean he won't play again before the Grand Final if the Pies make the top 4 and win in the first week.
So that was two players down. When Robbo went down clutching his knee in the forward line it looked like things couldn't get any worse. He bounced back but was clearly not 100%. Somewhere in the midst of all this Aaron Davey went off with a hamstring injury and wasn't seen again - leaving us with the one fit player on the bench. For whatever reason this spurred us on to our massive comeback - Neita finally kicked straight after some serious wonk in the first quarter, and with Sylvia, Brock and Pickett chipping in we were just two goals down at the last change. I think everyone knew that we were going to get run-over one way or the other, but 20 minutes into the last quarter - with just one goal apiece added to the 3/4 time score we were still a chance. The boys were absolutely dead on their feet but they were still trying their hearts out. Robbo and Neitz both had shots to put us in front during the middle of the quarter but both of them were so out of it they couldn't convert.
Then Medhurst continued the Collingwood tradition of the shittest forward destroying us (see Tarrant, Chris) and kicked the goal that ended the contest. Jace Bode almost got us back within a goal but his shot was touched on the line. Game over.
Was good to see Juice Newton running riot right across the ground. He, along with everyone else, was run into the ground by the end of the game but he played a few great cameos in the backline. Definately one for the future - when the appropriate time of mourning has passed and I can retire the #28 Philthy Phil jumper, I'm almost certainly going up a number and #29'ing it up.
Meanwhile in the grandest "You give a guy a wrap...." tradition, just seconds after we declared that Paul Wheatley was in the the best form of his career the future winner of the Marcus Seecamp award turned into a poor bastard who had a night where every second kick went to an opposition player.
Random Observations
As you know I don't usually take any notice of what other clubs do but how good was Didak's bicycle kick in the 3rd quarter? If that had gone in it would have been the greatest goal ever. But if my uncle had tits he'd be my auntie - it didn't, and the title still remains with Allen Jakovich for his horizontal scissor kick against North Melbourne at the MCG in 1991.
Doesn't a little part of you die every time Jones or McLean get nailed holding the ball? God forbid they should get any help other than from James McDonald who is always there week in and week out doing his stuff.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - McDonald
4 - Brown
3 - Neitz
2 - Newton
1 - Jones
Apologies to Dunn, Green, Johnstone and Sylvia.
Leaderboard
32 - McDonald
30 - Jones
27 - Green
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - White
16 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
12 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
10 - Holland
9 - McLean
9 - Brown
9 - Neitz
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Equal Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Newton (Equal Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Carroll
2 - Dunn
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
1 - Ferguson
Crowd Watch
What a shithouse crowd. I blame the Collingwood fans as much as ours - at least they've got finals to play for - but how many of our fans sat at home when this was the night to come out and pay tribute to one of the great champions of our club? So it was an away game - so you had to pay for $20 to get in. Boo-fucking-hoo. It's no wonder we're a laughing stock. I can't wait to see the 15-year-old teenie boppers and other assorted fucksticks climb back on board when we're winning again. We must have the weakest fanbase in the competition - see you all when we're playing as the Bangkok Demons in a few years.
Next Week
Fremantle in Perth. Now I didn't think we'd win last week, and I didn't think we'd get within ten goals tonight - especially when the Black Death injury plague hit - but surely next week a rejuvenated Freo possibly playing for a finals place will smack us like we stole something. Once again all we ask for is a 100% effort, but is there actually anyone else left to play? Our interstate record is shithouse as it is this year, but it could be about to get a whole lot worse. I hate this season, but I know that the moment it ends I'll be counting down the seconds until the 2008 comp. Sad - very sad.
It seemed that everyone had been schooled in the Brad Miller school of playing on unnecessarily and handballing to a teammate's back. The Pies were already three goals up before we'd had more than a handful of touches, and it was shades of the Port Adelaide match again. Luckily the backline stood up (yes, read that again - the backline. Stood up.) and eventually we added goals of our own, to drag us back into the contest despite being completely shit for most of the quarter. Meanwhile why exactly is Mark Jamar in our team? I don't give a toss that he almost took mark of the year in the third quarter, he's shit.
Collingwood's tactic to have Harry O drag Robbo to all parts of the ground worked a treat in the first half, and the rare site of Russell Robertson playing in the backline was a rare moment that those of us who were there are likely to forget within a few days, before bringing it up in the pub when pissed in about five years time.
The second quarter saw us not only fail to kick a goal, but also lose Ben Holland possibly for the last time after he was sat on by the less talented of the Rocca brothers. Broken arm, dislocated shoulder, kracked kollarbone - whatever it is he's done for the year and after playing two great games, and outplaying Rocca across the first quarter the poor bastard left the ground looking as if he'd had his arm driven over by a jeep. As I said last week I support giving him another year on the list, but I wonder if this injury will wreck his chances.
The third quarter continued in the same vein as the second, and when Pendlebury goaled to put the Pies 41 points in front it looked like we were going to get massacred. Then in what is likely to be the biggest talking point in the media this week Ben Johnson massacred Daniel Bell and strangely things began to turn around. There will be general anti-Johnson outrage and the suggestion that he should be crowbarred in a carpark, but at the risk of being controversial I won't be involving myself. First things first we employ Byron Pickett, and if that's not enough said on the issue of players who belt people for no apparent reason I don't know what is, but the fact of the matter is that no matter how bad it looked it wasn't deliberate. A reckless piece of play that could have had tragic conseqeuences, but not the worst thing ever done on a footy field. The guy will cop his fair whack from the tribunal with a four game suspension that will mean he won't play again before the Grand Final if the Pies make the top 4 and win in the first week.
So that was two players down. When Robbo went down clutching his knee in the forward line it looked like things couldn't get any worse. He bounced back but was clearly not 100%. Somewhere in the midst of all this Aaron Davey went off with a hamstring injury and wasn't seen again - leaving us with the one fit player on the bench. For whatever reason this spurred us on to our massive comeback - Neita finally kicked straight after some serious wonk in the first quarter, and with Sylvia, Brock and Pickett chipping in we were just two goals down at the last change. I think everyone knew that we were going to get run-over one way or the other, but 20 minutes into the last quarter - with just one goal apiece added to the 3/4 time score we were still a chance. The boys were absolutely dead on their feet but they were still trying their hearts out. Robbo and Neitz both had shots to put us in front during the middle of the quarter but both of them were so out of it they couldn't convert.
Then Medhurst continued the Collingwood tradition of the shittest forward destroying us (see Tarrant, Chris) and kicked the goal that ended the contest. Jace Bode almost got us back within a goal but his shot was touched on the line. Game over.
Was good to see Juice Newton running riot right across the ground. He, along with everyone else, was run into the ground by the end of the game but he played a few great cameos in the backline. Definately one for the future - when the appropriate time of mourning has passed and I can retire the #28 Philthy Phil jumper, I'm almost certainly going up a number and #29'ing it up.
Meanwhile in the grandest "You give a guy a wrap...." tradition, just seconds after we declared that Paul Wheatley was in the the best form of his career the future winner of the Marcus Seecamp award turned into a poor bastard who had a night where every second kick went to an opposition player.
Random Observations
As you know I don't usually take any notice of what other clubs do but how good was Didak's bicycle kick in the 3rd quarter? If that had gone in it would have been the greatest goal ever. But if my uncle had tits he'd be my auntie - it didn't, and the title still remains with Allen Jakovich for his horizontal scissor kick against North Melbourne at the MCG in 1991.
Doesn't a little part of you die every time Jones or McLean get nailed holding the ball? God forbid they should get any help other than from James McDonald who is always there week in and week out doing his stuff.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - McDonald
4 - Brown
3 - Neitz
2 - Newton
1 - Jones
Apologies to Dunn, Green, Johnstone and Sylvia.
Leaderboard
32 - McDonald
30 - Jones
27 - Green
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - White
16 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
12 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
10 - Holland
9 - McLean
9 - Brown
9 - Neitz
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Equal Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Newton (Equal Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Carroll
2 - Dunn
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
1 - Ferguson
Crowd Watch
What a shithouse crowd. I blame the Collingwood fans as much as ours - at least they've got finals to play for - but how many of our fans sat at home when this was the night to come out and pay tribute to one of the great champions of our club? So it was an away game - so you had to pay for $20 to get in. Boo-fucking-hoo. It's no wonder we're a laughing stock. I can't wait to see the 15-year-old teenie boppers and other assorted fucksticks climb back on board when we're winning again. We must have the weakest fanbase in the competition - see you all when we're playing as the Bangkok Demons in a few years.
Next Week
Fremantle in Perth. Now I didn't think we'd win last week, and I didn't think we'd get within ten goals tonight - especially when the Black Death injury plague hit - but surely next week a rejuvenated Freo possibly playing for a finals place will smack us like we stole something. Once again all we ask for is a 100% effort, but is there actually anyone else left to play? Our interstate record is shithouse as it is this year, but it could be about to get a whole lot worse. I hate this season, but I know that the moment it ends I'll be counting down the seconds until the 2008 comp. Sad - very sad.
Saturday, 11 August 2007
Saturday Night Fever
Well that was completely unexpected. Having gone for broke in my tipping this week, picking both Richmond and Melbourne I was, for obvious reasons, the focus of considerable mockery in the workplace. Having now pulled off a tipping double that is likely to go down in AFL/VFL history I will be strutting through the door on Monday morning, announcing "fuck you all" and crying when I realise I'm still ten points off the lead with only three rounds to play.
More importantly than farcical tipping anecdotes is the fact that we won a game. Bugger me there's a surprise etc.. And having been overseas for the Carlton game I at least got to see Mark Riley win one in person. Usually when we're winning games and are presented with a side with weaknesses everywhere we shit ourselves and get dragged down to their level. Tonight the enemy exposed their weaknesses, we knifed them and it was a thing of beauty. Let's hope that the vicious "search and destroy" gangtackling mentality that we saw on offer tonight is a marker of things to come in the future.
You knew something was going to go horribly wrong for the Dogs when Ben Holland booted two goals in the first quarter. Is it just me or has he turned it up 100% in the last fortnight? Both he and Pickett need to be retained next year, but they also need to know that they're not automatic selections anymore. While the likes of Newton and Frawley are learning their trade we need at least some experienced players in the wings to step in if they crumble physically or mentally. Besides for those of you who care about Sandringham's fortunes it should pretty much guarantee them another flag.
It would be optimistic to say that Davey and Robbo "ran riot" but they were more than handy in a game where Neita was well down on form. It would also be fanciful to claim a great victory for our backline in a game where the opposition were playing without a 50 goal full-forward, but there's no doubt that Carroll and Ferguson both looked good and that Paul Wheatley absolutely massacred it. I'm actually shocked that his performance has met with so much apathy across the board - you can understand when the papers ignore the unfashionable players and give votes to the "big names" because they've been doing it for years but even our own fans are showing no love for the man who has rejuvenated his career and become the red hot favourite for the 2007 Marcus Seecamp Defender Of The Year Award. The hand off "9 point" play at the end was the icing on the cake given that it hasn't worked for about two years before this game.
Jace Bode went alright. He'll be back for more in the future. I certainly don't forsee him doing a Michael Clark and playing in one game for one win and never being seen again.
Crowd Watch
Good game. Shame, then, that nobody was there to see it as both set of 'fans' sat at home watching Iron Chef instead. A pitiful crowd of 18.5k was as good as result as you could have expected when just half an hour before the first bounce the live attendance counter had just over 10,000 in the ground. At least our supporters have some sort of excuse (though I would argue this), what was with the Bulldogs fans? You could tell after the game when the boys were doing their lap of honor that it was at least a 50/50 split inside the ground. This is a team who are, at least theoretically, top eight contenders. Whatever - this isn't the place for a football inquest about why everyone is so fucking soft these days, it's a place for celebration. We're in the Top 14!
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Jones
4 - Wheatley
3 - Holland
2 - Green
1 - Johnstone
What a novelty to have to leave people out for once rather than struggling to fill the 2 and 1 spots. Apologies tonight to (deep breath) Robertson, McDonald, Davey, White, Carroll, Pickett, Dunn and Bell. And, seriously, HOW MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN MILLER IS JUICE NEWTON? He might not have kicked a bag, but he threw more big tackles tonight than Miller has in his career. It was a joy to watch a big forward running around, chasing and threatening people like he was Aaron Davey. Magnificent.
Leaderboard
29 - Jones
27 - Green, McDonald
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year), White
12 - Johnstone
10 - Davey, Holland, Rivers
9 - McLean8 - Godfrey, Miller
7 - Sylvia
6 - Bizzell, Moloney, Neitz, Robertson
5 - Bell, Carroll, Brown, Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year), Yze3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
1 - Ferguson, Frawley, Pickett
Next Week
Suddenly we have an interesting one. You'd expect that having learnt their lesson from earlier in the season, and stinging from a shock defeat this week that the Pies would come out and obliterate us. After tonight's result, though, there's suddenly at least some doubt that the obvious scenario will be played out. The big question is whether Holland, after one of his best games for us in the forward line, suddenly ends up down back playing on Anthony Rocca again after treating him like a prison bride in their last two meetings. Who knows, but one way or the other BE THERE for Neita's 300th. Doesn't it freak you out a bit that in 111 years there has never been a Melbourne player who has managed the triple-century of games? What a champion - it's just a shame that he's destined to join Flower, Lyon and Stynes as great champions of our club who will leave the game without having won a flag.
More importantly than farcical tipping anecdotes is the fact that we won a game. Bugger me there's a surprise etc.. And having been overseas for the Carlton game I at least got to see Mark Riley win one in person. Usually when we're winning games and are presented with a side with weaknesses everywhere we shit ourselves and get dragged down to their level. Tonight the enemy exposed their weaknesses, we knifed them and it was a thing of beauty. Let's hope that the vicious "search and destroy" gangtackling mentality that we saw on offer tonight is a marker of things to come in the future.
You knew something was going to go horribly wrong for the Dogs when Ben Holland booted two goals in the first quarter. Is it just me or has he turned it up 100% in the last fortnight? Both he and Pickett need to be retained next year, but they also need to know that they're not automatic selections anymore. While the likes of Newton and Frawley are learning their trade we need at least some experienced players in the wings to step in if they crumble physically or mentally. Besides for those of you who care about Sandringham's fortunes it should pretty much guarantee them another flag.
It would be optimistic to say that Davey and Robbo "ran riot" but they were more than handy in a game where Neita was well down on form. It would also be fanciful to claim a great victory for our backline in a game where the opposition were playing without a 50 goal full-forward, but there's no doubt that Carroll and Ferguson both looked good and that Paul Wheatley absolutely massacred it. I'm actually shocked that his performance has met with so much apathy across the board - you can understand when the papers ignore the unfashionable players and give votes to the "big names" because they've been doing it for years but even our own fans are showing no love for the man who has rejuvenated his career and become the red hot favourite for the 2007 Marcus Seecamp Defender Of The Year Award. The hand off "9 point" play at the end was the icing on the cake given that it hasn't worked for about two years before this game.
Jace Bode went alright. He'll be back for more in the future. I certainly don't forsee him doing a Michael Clark and playing in one game for one win and never being seen again.
Crowd Watch
Good game. Shame, then, that nobody was there to see it as both set of 'fans' sat at home watching Iron Chef instead. A pitiful crowd of 18.5k was as good as result as you could have expected when just half an hour before the first bounce the live attendance counter had just over 10,000 in the ground. At least our supporters have some sort of excuse (though I would argue this), what was with the Bulldogs fans? You could tell after the game when the boys were doing their lap of honor that it was at least a 50/50 split inside the ground. This is a team who are, at least theoretically, top eight contenders. Whatever - this isn't the place for a football inquest about why everyone is so fucking soft these days, it's a place for celebration. We're in the Top 14!
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Jones
4 - Wheatley
3 - Holland
2 - Green
1 - Johnstone
What a novelty to have to leave people out for once rather than struggling to fill the 2 and 1 spots. Apologies tonight to (deep breath) Robertson, McDonald, Davey, White, Carroll, Pickett, Dunn and Bell. And, seriously, HOW MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN MILLER IS JUICE NEWTON? He might not have kicked a bag, but he threw more big tackles tonight than Miller has in his career. It was a joy to watch a big forward running around, chasing and threatening people like he was Aaron Davey. Magnificent.
Leaderboard
29 - Jones
27 - Green, McDonald
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year), White
12 - Johnstone
10 - Davey, Holland, Rivers
9 - McLean8 - Godfrey, Miller
7 - Sylvia
6 - Bizzell, Moloney, Neitz, Robertson
5 - Bell, Carroll, Brown, Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year), Yze3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
1 - Ferguson, Frawley, Pickett
Next Week
Suddenly we have an interesting one. You'd expect that having learnt their lesson from earlier in the season, and stinging from a shock defeat this week that the Pies would come out and obliterate us. After tonight's result, though, there's suddenly at least some doubt that the obvious scenario will be played out. The big question is whether Holland, after one of his best games for us in the forward line, suddenly ends up down back playing on Anthony Rocca again after treating him like a prison bride in their last two meetings. Who knows, but one way or the other BE THERE for Neita's 300th. Doesn't it freak you out a bit that in 111 years there has never been a Melbourne player who has managed the triple-century of games? What a champion - it's just a shame that he's destined to join Flower, Lyon and Stynes as great champions of our club who will leave the game without having won a flag.
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Roadtrip Fever
After we lost to Brisbane two years ago I said I wouldn't go interstate for football the next year. Then I went to Sydney and we won in the Jared Rivers farcical 50 match. That was suitably wild so suddenly I had the fever and announced that this year I was going to go to EVERY SINGLE GAME no matter where it was. Thank fuck that concept was shelved because it's been bad enough watching us get slapped by everyone in Victoria without travelling to Sydney, Perth, Adelaide and Brisbane to see it as well.
Having never been to Manuka Oval before I was suckered into spending a weekend going there and coming back by car. Why did I bother? I always knew we were going to be shit. I didn't even notice at the time that Byron Pickett had channelled the spirit of Terry Wheeler and decided to kick into the wind in the first quarter. Maybe, like Terry, a fisherman told him that the wind was going to swing around? But where the fuck do you find a fisherman in the ACT?
We kicked the first two scores. That was nice. Then they started to massacre us, which was severely depressing. By the time we started kicking goals it was people who probably shouldn't even be there like Holland and Jamar who were doing it. You could tell that there was something seriously wrong when we had a Miller/Holland/Jamar combination for a goal. Why are any of these people in our first 22? Injuries or not I have serious doubts that they should even be on the list. At least you can argue that Holland gives 110% every time and Jamar is learning but what's Miller's excuse? He's just shit.
Five goals down and marooned in the middle of a bunch of Sydney fans. Could life have gotten any better? At least the ground itself was nice.
Fucked if I know what else to say. It's all just... Depressing.
We got smashed, but not by as much as you'd think. Looked to me like the Swans put the cue in the rack in the last quarter and resisted the temptation to put us to the sword like Port had the week before. We have, however, kicked the last two goals in both of our last two games - which might be helpful if we could stay within 12pts of the opposition longer than two minutes into the first quarter.
Crowd Watch
It was a ludicrously 'multicultural' crowd. We spotted at least one person wearing the colors of every single team in the league as well as the Brisbane Bears and Fitzroy. Then there was the Canberra Raiders (natch), Canterbury Bulldogs, Wests Tigers, Washington Capitals, New York Yankees, Anaheim Mighty Ducks and about 25 different local footy teams. Nobody cared that we got tonked but thanks for helping prop the club up - see you next season.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Jones
4 - Holland
3 - Carroll
2 - Green
1 - Ferguson
Leaderboard
With Bruce gone it looks as if we're down to a three-way race for the most undeserved championship in world sports. McDonald would have to be favourite on consistency alone, but Jones is climbing the leaderboard at a rapid rate and could pull off a shock victory.
In other awards Wheatley looks home in the defender of the year, and Petterd will hold on for rookie of the year unless Juice Newton can pull something special out of the bag in the next few weeks.
Everything that needs to be said about this season can be seen in the fact that Miller only has one vote less than the man who we've all decided is the saviour of the club. God I hate footy.
27 - McDonald
25 - Green
24 - Jones
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - White
12 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
9 - McLean
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
7 - Holland
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Brown
5 - Carroll
3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
1 - Ferguson
Next Week
We got smacked by Footscray. Then Collingwood, Freo and Carlton. Apparently this is a good thing - fuck that I want to WIN WIN WIN.
Having never been to Manuka Oval before I was suckered into spending a weekend going there and coming back by car. Why did I bother? I always knew we were going to be shit. I didn't even notice at the time that Byron Pickett had channelled the spirit of Terry Wheeler and decided to kick into the wind in the first quarter. Maybe, like Terry, a fisherman told him that the wind was going to swing around? But where the fuck do you find a fisherman in the ACT?
We kicked the first two scores. That was nice. Then they started to massacre us, which was severely depressing. By the time we started kicking goals it was people who probably shouldn't even be there like Holland and Jamar who were doing it. You could tell that there was something seriously wrong when we had a Miller/Holland/Jamar combination for a goal. Why are any of these people in our first 22? Injuries or not I have serious doubts that they should even be on the list. At least you can argue that Holland gives 110% every time and Jamar is learning but what's Miller's excuse? He's just shit.
Five goals down and marooned in the middle of a bunch of Sydney fans. Could life have gotten any better? At least the ground itself was nice.
Fucked if I know what else to say. It's all just... Depressing.
We got smashed, but not by as much as you'd think. Looked to me like the Swans put the cue in the rack in the last quarter and resisted the temptation to put us to the sword like Port had the week before. We have, however, kicked the last two goals in both of our last two games - which might be helpful if we could stay within 12pts of the opposition longer than two minutes into the first quarter.
Crowd Watch
It was a ludicrously 'multicultural' crowd. We spotted at least one person wearing the colors of every single team in the league as well as the Brisbane Bears and Fitzroy. Then there was the Canberra Raiders (natch), Canterbury Bulldogs, Wests Tigers, Washington Capitals, New York Yankees, Anaheim Mighty Ducks and about 25 different local footy teams. Nobody cared that we got tonked but thanks for helping prop the club up - see you next season.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
5 - Jones
4 - Holland
3 - Carroll
2 - Green
1 - Ferguson
Leaderboard
With Bruce gone it looks as if we're down to a three-way race for the most undeserved championship in world sports. McDonald would have to be favourite on consistency alone, but Jones is climbing the leaderboard at a rapid rate and could pull off a shock victory.
In other awards Wheatley looks home in the defender of the year, and Petterd will hold on for rookie of the year unless Juice Newton can pull something special out of the bag in the next few weeks.
Everything that needs to be said about this season can be seen in the fact that Miller only has one vote less than the man who we've all decided is the saviour of the club. God I hate footy.
27 - McDonald
25 - Green
24 - Jones
19 - Bruce
17 - Bate
16 - White
12 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
9 - McLean
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
7 - Holland
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Brown
5 - Carroll
3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
1 - Ferguson
Next Week
We got smacked by Footscray. Then Collingwood, Freo and Carlton. Apparently this is a good thing - fuck that I want to WIN WIN WIN.
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Character Assasination
The die was well and truly cast for Melbourne vs Port Adelaide on Thursday night at the selection table.
Dear Clint Bizzell, congratulations on reinvigorating your career over the last few weeks and being one our best defenders – your reward is to be dropped and play against Bendigo in the VFL.
Dear Nathan Carroll, we know your glory era lasted for 10 rounds last season and that you’ve done precisely fuck all this season but we’re also aware that we’ve really got nobody else to play fullback. So we’ll play without one. Off you go.
Dear Paul Johnson, two ruckmen in a team are a luxury these days. We know you’re trying to prove yourself as a second ruckman. So prove it at Sandringham.
Dear Ben Holland, there’s no chance in hell you’ll be on our list next year if we’re anywhere near serious about bouncing back. So please be at the airport at 3.30pm because you’re playing.
What a fucking shambles. It would break my heart in two to think that we’re deliberately throwing it away deliberately, and we did bring back Bruce and Bell, but how else can you explain all of this? Are they trying to get Holland a run in the SANFL next year? One more run in front of his hometown crowd before he’s cast on to the football scrapheap?
And if the result wasn’t abundantly clear then it became obvious that we were sunk before the first bounce when the usual suspects (Godfrey, Miller etc..) tried the always ineffective tactic of roughing their opponents up. The sad thing was you could see that their hearts weren’t really in it – Matthew Bate was bumping off guys without even looking in their eyes. Nobody is scared of us – we’re shit.
Then the game itself started and after a minute we were two goals down, and by the time Port added a third we had a grand total of 1 kick and 1 hitout. An absolute embarrassment was on the cards. And an absolute embarrassment it was. God knows how many goals Juice Newton needs to kick to actually start on the ground. He finally got on and, like the rest of our squad, had no idea. Six goals down at quarter time and you'd almost walk out if you've paid to see it. Don't feel too bad, the players pretty much walked out and they're being paid to be there.
To be entirely honest Holland wasn't awful in the first quarter, but what's wrong with using the players who are going to form a key part of the squad next year? I'm not saying pick a bunch of 13-year-olds and get smashed by 200 but the likes of Johnson and even god forbid Jamar will be on our list next year - surely Holland will not. One thing I will say for him is that at least he gives an honest showing, which is more than you can say for some.
The second quarter was a slight improvement, and by half time we'd actually had more inside 50's than Port. The only difference was that they went inside and kicked goals, and we screwed it up. Port must have taken that stat as a slap in the face as they came out in the third quarter and wrecked us - 8 goals to none in a vicious porking. Good luck getting a decent coach if we keep playing like this for the next week - even Connolly won't want to waste his time in charge of this slop. If you've coached Southern League Division 3 reserves you might just be willing to take a chance with us next year, but if you think somebody like a Michael Voss is going to turn their back on Dick Pratt and his millions of dollars to try and turn our disgraceful list around with a membership that will probably just top 23. Even Glen Jakovich announced that he'd rather coach Carlton than us - why Glen? Bring your brother back for a dreamteam coaching panel.
Much of the justification by people who didn't show up last week was "I don't like watching us get thrashed". Stupidest line of logic ever, and the reason a club like Fitzroy went down the tubes, but I can almost see a point in it. Sadly for me as we have previously discussed it is in my blood like drugs and I simply must sit there and watch no matter what - must seek out dodgy internet cafes halfway across the world just to listen to us concede 40 points to none in the first quarter against Brisbane. I just have to do it.
If the pain of the scoreboard wasn't enough we were treated to some tart screeching over the PA at the start of the last quarter. You've taken our dignity you bint, don't take our hearing.
An interesting moment in the last when Bell decked some crunt with a shepherd and convicted felon Dean Brogan fronted up to him. Instead of pushing back, belting him or showing some sort of balls Bell stood there and 'argued' with Brogan about he hadn't done anything. It was like watching somebody who has stepped on the foot of a bikie in a bar and is frantically apologising to avoid getting murdered. The difference is that in the real world you might end up in a shallow grave in the Otways, but on an AFL field the worst you can get is a bit of a slap around the head. So SHOW SOME FUCKING BALLS.
Interesting allegations from the commentary team as well that our main contact with Michael Voss so far has been a text message. Surely that was Clinton Grybas injecting some color into the call to stop us all from changing channels to the Simpsons rather than legitimate fact. If it's true then sack the board and the football department as well. In fact just shut the whole fucking club down, I've had enough.
There's some upside I suppose. Don't know where it is but it's there somewhere. As much as I can see that his defensive work is emerging please don't let James Frawley ever kick under pressure. I haven't seen a style like that since James Manson - he takes an extra half a second than everyone else to get the ball on the boot.
The first reaction is to lose the plot and demand everybody be sacked. So that's what I'm going to do. Fuck them all off pretty much to a man - of the people who played tonight I'd suggest that if new coach Mr. X is serious we are unlikely to see half of them next year. You have to wonder just how much Neitz has left in the tank - the last few weeks have seen him looking like a shell of his former self. I honestly doubt he'll even make it to the end of next year the way it's going.
Miller must go. I can't stress this enough. He bounces from one end of the field to the other on a weekly basis and isn't good enough to play either - we've got to send him to another club for the good of both parties.
Votes
These are very forced. I don't think anybody deserves one, but lets just hand some out anyway.
5 - Green
4 - Jones
3 - White
2 - Bate
1 - Frawley
Apologies to Holland (at least he had a crack), Wheatley, small children who may have been traumatised for life, and anyone who wasted their money going to Adelaide to watch this.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Leaderboard
27 - McDonald
23 - Green
19 - Bruce
19 - Jones
17 - Bate
16 - White
12 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
9 - McLean
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Brown
3 - Holland
3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
2 - Carroll
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
Loungeroom Watch
I didn't break anything. What's the point?
Fashion Watch
Why the fuck were we wearing the "away" shirt? Since when has red and blue clashed with teal and black? Who makes these decisions anyway? Crackheads.
Next Week
Sydney at Manuka. I'm going. Why? Fucked if I know. Depending on the result I might come back via the Belangalo State Forest and stay there. Barry Hall vs Ryan Ferguson? Oh fuck me surely you're kidding - I guess they may as well drag Miller out for the one job he can actually do without making a dick of himself.
Dear Clint Bizzell, congratulations on reinvigorating your career over the last few weeks and being one our best defenders – your reward is to be dropped and play against Bendigo in the VFL.
Dear Nathan Carroll, we know your glory era lasted for 10 rounds last season and that you’ve done precisely fuck all this season but we’re also aware that we’ve really got nobody else to play fullback. So we’ll play without one. Off you go.
Dear Paul Johnson, two ruckmen in a team are a luxury these days. We know you’re trying to prove yourself as a second ruckman. So prove it at Sandringham.
Dear Ben Holland, there’s no chance in hell you’ll be on our list next year if we’re anywhere near serious about bouncing back. So please be at the airport at 3.30pm because you’re playing.
What a fucking shambles. It would break my heart in two to think that we’re deliberately throwing it away deliberately, and we did bring back Bruce and Bell, but how else can you explain all of this? Are they trying to get Holland a run in the SANFL next year? One more run in front of his hometown crowd before he’s cast on to the football scrapheap?
And if the result wasn’t abundantly clear then it became obvious that we were sunk before the first bounce when the usual suspects (Godfrey, Miller etc..) tried the always ineffective tactic of roughing their opponents up. The sad thing was you could see that their hearts weren’t really in it – Matthew Bate was bumping off guys without even looking in their eyes. Nobody is scared of us – we’re shit.
Then the game itself started and after a minute we were two goals down, and by the time Port added a third we had a grand total of 1 kick and 1 hitout. An absolute embarrassment was on the cards. And an absolute embarrassment it was. God knows how many goals Juice Newton needs to kick to actually start on the ground. He finally got on and, like the rest of our squad, had no idea. Six goals down at quarter time and you'd almost walk out if you've paid to see it. Don't feel too bad, the players pretty much walked out and they're being paid to be there.
To be entirely honest Holland wasn't awful in the first quarter, but what's wrong with using the players who are going to form a key part of the squad next year? I'm not saying pick a bunch of 13-year-olds and get smashed by 200 but the likes of Johnson and even god forbid Jamar will be on our list next year - surely Holland will not. One thing I will say for him is that at least he gives an honest showing, which is more than you can say for some.
The second quarter was a slight improvement, and by half time we'd actually had more inside 50's than Port. The only difference was that they went inside and kicked goals, and we screwed it up. Port must have taken that stat as a slap in the face as they came out in the third quarter and wrecked us - 8 goals to none in a vicious porking. Good luck getting a decent coach if we keep playing like this for the next week - even Connolly won't want to waste his time in charge of this slop. If you've coached Southern League Division 3 reserves you might just be willing to take a chance with us next year, but if you think somebody like a Michael Voss is going to turn their back on Dick Pratt and his millions of dollars to try and turn our disgraceful list around with a membership that will probably just top 23. Even Glen Jakovich announced that he'd rather coach Carlton than us - why Glen? Bring your brother back for a dreamteam coaching panel.
Much of the justification by people who didn't show up last week was "I don't like watching us get thrashed". Stupidest line of logic ever, and the reason a club like Fitzroy went down the tubes, but I can almost see a point in it. Sadly for me as we have previously discussed it is in my blood like drugs and I simply must sit there and watch no matter what - must seek out dodgy internet cafes halfway across the world just to listen to us concede 40 points to none in the first quarter against Brisbane. I just have to do it.
If the pain of the scoreboard wasn't enough we were treated to some tart screeching over the PA at the start of the last quarter. You've taken our dignity you bint, don't take our hearing.
An interesting moment in the last when Bell decked some crunt with a shepherd and convicted felon Dean Brogan fronted up to him. Instead of pushing back, belting him or showing some sort of balls Bell stood there and 'argued' with Brogan about he hadn't done anything. It was like watching somebody who has stepped on the foot of a bikie in a bar and is frantically apologising to avoid getting murdered. The difference is that in the real world you might end up in a shallow grave in the Otways, but on an AFL field the worst you can get is a bit of a slap around the head. So SHOW SOME FUCKING BALLS.
Interesting allegations from the commentary team as well that our main contact with Michael Voss so far has been a text message. Surely that was Clinton Grybas injecting some color into the call to stop us all from changing channels to the Simpsons rather than legitimate fact. If it's true then sack the board and the football department as well. In fact just shut the whole fucking club down, I've had enough.
There's some upside I suppose. Don't know where it is but it's there somewhere. As much as I can see that his defensive work is emerging please don't let James Frawley ever kick under pressure. I haven't seen a style like that since James Manson - he takes an extra half a second than everyone else to get the ball on the boot.
The first reaction is to lose the plot and demand everybody be sacked. So that's what I'm going to do. Fuck them all off pretty much to a man - of the people who played tonight I'd suggest that if new coach Mr. X is serious we are unlikely to see half of them next year. You have to wonder just how much Neitz has left in the tank - the last few weeks have seen him looking like a shell of his former self. I honestly doubt he'll even make it to the end of next year the way it's going.
Miller must go. I can't stress this enough. He bounces from one end of the field to the other on a weekly basis and isn't good enough to play either - we've got to send him to another club for the good of both parties.
Votes
These are very forced. I don't think anybody deserves one, but lets just hand some out anyway.
5 - Green
4 - Jones
3 - White
2 - Bate
1 - Frawley
Apologies to Holland (at least he had a crack), Wheatley, small children who may have been traumatised for life, and anyone who wasted their money going to Adelaide to watch this.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Leaderboard
27 - McDonald
23 - Green
19 - Bruce
19 - Jones
17 - Bate
16 - White
12 - Wheatley (Shock Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
9 - McLean
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Brown
3 - Holland
3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
2 - Carroll
1 - Frawley
1 - Pickett
Loungeroom Watch
I didn't break anything. What's the point?
Fashion Watch
Why the fuck were we wearing the "away" shirt? Since when has red and blue clashed with teal and black? Who makes these decisions anyway? Crackheads.
Next Week
Sydney at Manuka. I'm going. Why? Fucked if I know. Depending on the result I might come back via the Belangalo State Forest and stay there. Barry Hall vs Ryan Ferguson? Oh fuck me surely you're kidding - I guess they may as well drag Miller out for the one job he can actually do without making a dick of himself.
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Notes From A Scandal
Well what else is there to say? The season not only goes from bad to worse on-field, but it's threatening to fall apart something shocking off field as well. Crowd watch? What fucking crowd? Melbourne fans have officially proven themselves to be as weak as piss. Who would have ever thought that we'd have been outdrawn by North in a Melbourne game. The twilight football shite didn't help, but fucking hell there must have been 5000 of our people there at the absolute maximum. If we had a run like Carlton have had for the last five years we'd either be playing on the Gold Coast or in the tip a'la Fitzroy.
The game itself? Well you all know what happened by now. We did nothing after the 20 minute mark of the first quarter, Juice Newton took mark of the year and we mounted the pissiest comeback of all time at the end of the third quarter. Positively thrilling stuff - I don't know why I showed up, but I did because this club runs in my veins like drugs.
There really is nothing else to say. Our season has hit a depressing low and the suggestion that somehow we're going to end up with Chris Connolly as the coach makes it that much worse. Who in their right mind is going to employ him as our coach? What has he ever done at Fremantle? If you can't coach a team with Pavlich up front how are you going to get anywhere with Brad Miller? Fuck that for a joke - I've said it before and I'll say it again I want THE JUNKYARD DOG. When was the last time we had a coach who reminded you of a serial killer? All this softly softly stuff has gotten us nowhere, we need a psycho. Vote 1 JYD.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
So? Catch up votes for what I've missed? Why not. For the Carlton and Brisbane games I'll use the top 5 in the BigFooty forum voting. So if you've got any problems with it blame yourself and your peers not me. How the hell was I supposed to know what was actually going on from a dodgy internet cafe half the world away?
vs. Carlton
5 - Wheatley
4 - Bate
3 - McDonald
2 - White
1 - Bizzell
And congratulations to Mark Riley for winning his first game. Odds on he'll do a Greg Hutchison and not win again until Round 22. And then end up at Richmond or something, the poor bastard.
vs. Brisbane/Fitzroy Bears/Lions (delete as applicable)
5 - McLean
4 - McDonald
3 - Brown
2 - Wheatley
1 - Jones
No apologies to Davey who needs a swift kick in the arse for getting himself suspended. If we were legitimate about player discipline he'd come back via the 2nd's - and as an additional bonus all you swine who want us to tank it would be getting something as well.
vs. North Melbourne
5 - Jones
4 - Moloney
3 - Newton
2 - McDonald
1 - Bizzell
Apologies and no apologies simultaneously to Sylvia who went missing in the second quarter after being prominent first up.
Leaderboard
And on the back of three straight scores in Cam Bruce's absence the Junior Burger storms to the top of the pops at a million miles an hour. Wheatley also storms out of midfield and into the upper echelon on the back of two top weeks in a row, and takes what might be an unbeatable shock lead in the Seecamp Medal count for defender of the year. Juice Newton scores his first points of the year and with Petterd out for the season the big man is every possible chance of adding the prestigious Jeff Hilton Medal to his Mark Of the Year award.
27 - McDonald
19 - Bruce
18 - Green
15 - Bate
15 - Jones
13 - White
12 - Wheatley (Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
9 - McLean
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Brown
3 - Holland
3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
2 - Carroll
1 - Pickett
Next Week
Port Adelaide at Football Park on Sunday. They will beat us like w stole something. Be afraid, be very afraid. To be honest I doubt we'll win another game before Round 22, which will make the game against Carlton VERY interesting. I'd like to think that neither team would chuck the game - in fact I almost know it - but if I have to sit next to some spastic who is cheering against their own side for four quarters I might be moved to glass somebody.
Next Season
Unless we can line up some decent replacements Ward, Wheatley, Godfrey and Bizzell have earned themselves another season in my book. As always though I know fuck all so your opinion and that of the footballing world may differ.
Holland - will go.
Jamar - isn't up to it. Has been passed by Johnson and is looking increasingly like he'll never step up to the plate.
Brown - I appreciate his hard work but he's past it, and has the misfortune of being in a dime-a-dozen position.
Miller - We need to trade Miller him for anything we can get as he will never, EVER be a key player for us.
Yze - Needs to be quietly informed that his time has passed and that he'd be better off pulling the pin.
Carroll - If we could find a better full-back he'd be relegated back to playing Ben Holland as the 2nd string key defender.
Warnock - Only survives because of our criminally shit backline depth.
Johnson - Will get another chance but next year needs to be a breakout year or he'll be lining up in the Diamond Valley league.
Neitz - Will play next year but the poor bastard is rapidly falling apart. How much of the season will he actually manage?
Robertson - See above. Has a bit more in the tank than Neitz but is still likely to completely fall apart at any minute. Get the bulk sticky-tape order ready, it's going to be an interesting year.
White - Has shown a bit in the last few weeks, but doesn't have a tremendously long time left at the top. A ruckman would go nicely alongside a key-position player.
Johnstone - I'll be the first to start the controversy. If we're going to rebuild in even the smallest possible fashion then he is our most expendable senior player. We've got midfielders coming out the arse so if we can use him as part of a ploy to land a key position player or another top 20 pick in the draft then I'm up for it. The naysayers will say nay and the 20,000 members we have who didn't show up on Sunday night will all threaten not to buy memberships next season. Doesn't matter anyway - when Connolly becomes coach nobody will buy one anyway. With apologies - OUT.
Pickett - Cheers for the second half of last year, shame it didn't quite work out. Good luck for the future.
The game itself? Well you all know what happened by now. We did nothing after the 20 minute mark of the first quarter, Juice Newton took mark of the year and we mounted the pissiest comeback of all time at the end of the third quarter. Positively thrilling stuff - I don't know why I showed up, but I did because this club runs in my veins like drugs.
There really is nothing else to say. Our season has hit a depressing low and the suggestion that somehow we're going to end up with Chris Connolly as the coach makes it that much worse. Who in their right mind is going to employ him as our coach? What has he ever done at Fremantle? If you can't coach a team with Pavlich up front how are you going to get anywhere with Brad Miller? Fuck that for a joke - I've said it before and I'll say it again I want THE JUNKYARD DOG. When was the last time we had a coach who reminded you of a serial killer? All this softly softly stuff has gotten us nowhere, we need a psycho. Vote 1 JYD.
2007 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
So? Catch up votes for what I've missed? Why not. For the Carlton and Brisbane games I'll use the top 5 in the BigFooty forum voting. So if you've got any problems with it blame yourself and your peers not me. How the hell was I supposed to know what was actually going on from a dodgy internet cafe half the world away?
vs. Carlton
5 - Wheatley
4 - Bate
3 - McDonald
2 - White
1 - Bizzell
And congratulations to Mark Riley for winning his first game. Odds on he'll do a Greg Hutchison and not win again until Round 22. And then end up at Richmond or something, the poor bastard.
vs. Brisbane/Fitzroy Bears/Lions (delete as applicable)
5 - McLean
4 - McDonald
3 - Brown
2 - Wheatley
1 - Jones
No apologies to Davey who needs a swift kick in the arse for getting himself suspended. If we were legitimate about player discipline he'd come back via the 2nd's - and as an additional bonus all you swine who want us to tank it would be getting something as well.
vs. North Melbourne
5 - Jones
4 - Moloney
3 - Newton
2 - McDonald
1 - Bizzell
Apologies and no apologies simultaneously to Sylvia who went missing in the second quarter after being prominent first up.
Leaderboard
And on the back of three straight scores in Cam Bruce's absence the Junior Burger storms to the top of the pops at a million miles an hour. Wheatley also storms out of midfield and into the upper echelon on the back of two top weeks in a row, and takes what might be an unbeatable shock lead in the Seecamp Medal count for defender of the year. Juice Newton scores his first points of the year and with Petterd out for the season the big man is every possible chance of adding the prestigious Jeff Hilton Medal to his Mark Of the Year award.
27 - McDonald
19 - Bruce
18 - Green
15 - Bate
15 - Jones
13 - White
12 - Wheatley (Leader: Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
11 - Johnstone
10 - Rivers
10 - Davey
9 - McLean
8 - Miller
8 - Godfrey
7 - Sylvia
6 - Neitz
6 - Robertson
6 - Bizzell
6 - Moloney
5 - Yze
5 - Bell
5 - Petterd (Leader: Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
5 - Brown
3 - Holland
3 - Newton
2 - Dunn
2 - Carroll
1 - Pickett
Next Week
Port Adelaide at Football Park on Sunday. They will beat us like w stole something. Be afraid, be very afraid. To be honest I doubt we'll win another game before Round 22, which will make the game against Carlton VERY interesting. I'd like to think that neither team would chuck the game - in fact I almost know it - but if I have to sit next to some spastic who is cheering against their own side for four quarters I might be moved to glass somebody.
Next Season
Unless we can line up some decent replacements Ward, Wheatley, Godfrey and Bizzell have earned themselves another season in my book. As always though I know fuck all so your opinion and that of the footballing world may differ.
Holland - will go.
Jamar - isn't up to it. Has been passed by Johnson and is looking increasingly like he'll never step up to the plate.
Brown - I appreciate his hard work but he's past it, and has the misfortune of being in a dime-a-dozen position.
Miller - We need to trade Miller him for anything we can get as he will never, EVER be a key player for us.
Yze - Needs to be quietly informed that his time has passed and that he'd be better off pulling the pin.
Carroll - If we could find a better full-back he'd be relegated back to playing Ben Holland as the 2nd string key defender.
Warnock - Only survives because of our criminally shit backline depth.
Johnson - Will get another chance but next year needs to be a breakout year or he'll be lining up in the Diamond Valley league.
Neitz - Will play next year but the poor bastard is rapidly falling apart. How much of the season will he actually manage?
Robertson - See above. Has a bit more in the tank than Neitz but is still likely to completely fall apart at any minute. Get the bulk sticky-tape order ready, it's going to be an interesting year.
White - Has shown a bit in the last few weeks, but doesn't have a tremendously long time left at the top. A ruckman would go nicely alongside a key-position player.
Johnstone - I'll be the first to start the controversy. If we're going to rebuild in even the smallest possible fashion then he is our most expendable senior player. We've got midfielders coming out the arse so if we can use him as part of a ploy to land a key position player or another top 20 pick in the draft then I'm up for it. The naysayers will say nay and the 20,000 members we have who didn't show up on Sunday night will all threaten not to buy memberships next season. Doesn't matter anyway - when Connolly becomes coach nobody will buy one anyway. With apologies - OUT.
Pickett - Cheers for the second half of last year, shame it didn't quite work out. Good luck for the future.
Sunday, 8 July 2007
International
Ask yourself this. Why, when our season is as depressingly shit as it is, am I in an internet cafe in Bangkok listening to the Carlton game? Good question. Answers will become clear if we win.
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